Dental Dam, Percocet Voice & Witch Weed (In other words, its our Gay Halloween Special)

Such an honor. I love you. It's truly It's such an honor to be able to be here and speak truthfully, honestly and from my heart. I know what my father believes in. Prior to politics. He supported gays, lesbians, the LGBTQ is ay plus community. Okay. In the Broadway days, I've been some her best friends when she was on Broadway. Like, unfortunately, one of her best friends passed away from AIDS. And what I think is so powerful when my father says that he's going to do will be a cure for AIDS within the next 10 years. God bless. Thank you. Welcome to She's Not Doing So Well. It's a podcast, I'm Bobby. nonfat. The tongue is my tongue is in my throat and I'm gonna try to limit the box to 10 love it. Honey. I'm just so awkward at this God, gay. Hello, everybody and welcome to another episode of She's Not Doing So. Well. I'm Bobby. I'm Jim. Thank you for joining us again on this fine Wednesday. Hopefully it's not nasty Where You Are you nasty Bok. You she's a nasty woman. nasty woman. Nasty. You know, speaking of nasty women, Tiffany Trump. I mean, what did we just hear? First of all, she has a lot like letters or not right? She as just like your father. She leaves out the T's. I mean, I mean, l LGB. He ly a plus pod. Yeah, buses. Buses are t right. Plus means t. t hopetown. She is and you would be too if you're to represent your dollar romp in front of a room filled with LGBTQIA plus, plus pluses plus pluses. And my mother when we were in Broadway, and they died of AIDS, okay. Because that's literally the whole gay story is just tragedy of we are about my father will have a cure for AIDS. And we're rounding the corner. I didn't two to three weeks we'll have a vaccine. You got a really good Trump. I wish him well. That was not particularly but yeah, parclick. Particular that was not particular. Um, um, so Tiffany, well, so Tiffany Trump to me is like if Miley Cyrus and Lindsay Lohan had a situation because the way she talked? It's like, it's like that Lindsay Lohan. roughness roughness but Miley Cyrus lady like, yeah, like, Hey everybody, the LGBTQ plus? Ay ay ay ay ay ay ay. You're like, you need to join no notion you know, she's the type of person that will have a conversation and go after like, a clear throw every so anyway LGB Do you know I'm talking about there people like that? I do but mainly of you could used to be a smoker. I know. He's gonna kiss me. Excuse me. I just had a little my throw. No, no offense. So our smokers He's like, wait, we're losing a listener. We're losing one's name. We're listening to listeners any listener, honey? Oh, you're you're speaking like Tiffany right. Now. Listen to him. Tiff, Kami, Tiff, Tiff, Tiff. Listen, I like tiptoe. You want to get into tiff with me? Oh, honey. But anyway, isn't she like a half daughter? Like he's a half daughter. She's always forgotten. Nobody cares about no one cares. Like, girl those queers. Talk to the queers because I can he's like we think we think we don't know what you are in that community. But you are in that community. You're one of the pluses for sure. You're a queer. You're not a Trump. I'll tell you that. You're a plus. That's why we looked at the T there's only one t in this world. And that's Trump. Ah, yeah. Oh, that's maybe R is the root of all his trans hatred. Yeah, the could be just the T just the T honey. And that's the T. Sis Sis Yeah, yeah. Gaga. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so it's Happy Halloween week honey app. Yeah. And also it's happy something else this week. Honey, what is a Jim well, Jim's turning 29 oh my god it and honey. Yeah, ready? You're ready to hit the town? I am feeling tight. Oh, mask on your hole or your face? Oh, no, no, I'm not doing a dental dam down there. Not this week. Not ever. Oh, you know about dental dams. What's wrong? Is that what they're called? They're like a female con. Oh, yeah. I know about Yeah, there's a piece of plastic that You Yes, it's like plastic wrap. You get a little saran wrap you you put the saran wrap over yours and then you get the plastic. Hey, we got to look this up okay, cuz I was wondering I always hear the word dental dam and I think of like a reservoir of water behind the plastic. But like I don't know. I don't know how they work. Oh my god. Okay, so how to use a dental dam. Okay, so you quicker one. Oh, wow, that was juicy. That was really juicy. So Oh, others brand name dental dams. Honey. What does that say? Make sure your nails are short so they don't damage the dam. Remove the band and unfold the dam to its full size. So it's like a it's like a wet wipe. dams come in a variety of flavors and you can use them with water based lube. Then place it over and enjoy safes. I mean she's literally Saran wrapping a grapefruit right now. dams are single use only so throw them away after they're done. Pow. feel like we're like doing a commercial for dental dental dams, dental dams. Give them today where they're all sold. You know how I started thinking about dental day? I don't fucking either, but Oh, cuz you said a mask over your whole. Yeah. Dental down. I'm like, I don't know if that's okay. Damn. It's a dental dam. So you can put a dental dam Oh, then you put on any hole. Okay. So we can make out. Really? Yeah, you could eat my asshole, but only be looking glass. Oh, like, I want to try that. Yeah, honey, it's probably like, Can you still feel it dries? So all you feel is a pressure you don't feel like Yeah. But when it's you don't really feel I mean, you don't really feel. Oh, well. It's been a while but you're like, I don't remember feeling my whole has been uneatable for that thing is that thing is like it's done. Okay, ran it. I think after 35 runs. That hole is like a little bit of roadkill out in the street. Like that squirrel got squashed by a truck crossing the street. And it's not flattered. It's splattered. And it's like a week old. Somebody picked it up off the street. I'm on a skillet. That's what the holes that I know. I'm on the skillet as roadkill food for Tammy and Jeremy. JOHN, john, john, john and Tam, Tam. Wow. So you're okay, well, well, that's what the dental dams for. I love it that just came up out of nowhere because I just don't even know You're welcome. If that dental dam I'm like, What? What the fuck anyways? Happy 29th birthday to me and I i love it. I love being in my 20s It's fun. I have life. I've energy my holes, not like roadkill. I'll tell you that. I got it. Yeah, give it a year. I have like one year left. Yeah. 30s where it starts having like, issues where like, Oh, I'm on a time. Oh, I think it's I'm on a two week timeout. It's believe you can do like a timeout and then go a couple months and then timeout. That's true. Okay. Okay, everyone listening, I'm actually going to turn 33 like, let's just drop the pretense. Well, this is not you're really selling it. We all believed I mean, when you look at this body, you can tell I'm 29 but at Harley those tips are 29 these are they're dropping. Oh, just keep waiting till you're 36 on. It's like they're done. Your fucking belly button is baloney maps, but I 33 Yeah, you don't get to take a timeout for like, you're on permanent timeout. All right. That's me at least Yeah, you are like it's been a minute. It's called you're on the bench. bench three to four years you're on the injured reserve. introducer like I saw the scholarship but I'm in trouble. You're in trouble. Like you're in a lose red shirt. Yeah, you're getting like I'm red. Yeah, you're redshirted that ball is redshirted red might not planted and it might never play again. You know what I mean? Not without a dental dam. Without that dam, not without that day. I need a dam. And like I need like a sleeved. Or you know, like I'm a sock. No. Yeah. Do you know when I'm Oh, cows, when they when they? Oh, yeah, that like, I need that to impregnate the cow. Yes. I mean, like the glove that goes up to your shoulders. I need somebody to shove that out of reach all the way to the cows uterus and your whole but that would protect your whole entire I love that. I could do the pressure. It's the it's the it's just it's hairy. Yeah. The Yeah. It's alter the all of it. Yeah. But if I could cover all that and just have a little pressure. He's over here getting excited about the routing. I am prairie dog em and so prairie dog. Oh my god. I love a little pressure. I just love like pressure. You know what I mean? I hate pressure. I'm realizing like I want no pressure zero pressure oh and school in life and work and social. I don't want any fucking pressure. I don't want to speak to one of you lay there. I just want to lay around And eat, eat. So that's your 30. So that's what all our young listeners, all two of them have to look forward to, like you just lost all of anybody who's under the age of 35. They heard dental Damon ran. That's what's wrong with the gay community obsessed with sex. And all we do is talk about Oh, you guys, there's such loser old people. You don't even know. You do know, though, but I do know. And they experienced Honey, you're well versed. So you just got back from a little vaycay like a little quarantine. vaycay though ish. Yeah. Yeah, I went to um, the the Outer Banks of North Carolina. Carolina, Carolina. I think I'm actually just I'm stroking stroking because I'm thinking about the fact that I had which weed when I was and I've got a, I started so I'm like messaging you like, We miss you. Hi. You're like me a joker. I was trying to figure out it was like a fat man with a little deck. And I was like, Oh, yeah, that's happening here. And I was like, Is he trying to say something? And then no, so that's not what a trans man. Oh, a tea. Doug. Got it? Um, was I saying? I sent you a joke. And you didn't understand the fat man with a little bit? Yes, I did. Oh, by the way to cut that. They don't know what that is true. A big man with a little dick. I mean, so anyway, I was like, What is this, you know, thing that he's sending me and I'm like, trying to analyze it. And now let me just tell you what was the problem here. So I was in the pool. Actually, I was at the beach, drinking some wine. Everything was great. I go to the pool. Now on private pool, a private pool. Now on this vacation. We met some witches, like Wiccans. Um, I think like read tarot cards, like, okay, I mean, they read raid, they read tarot cards. They had a altar read. Oh, they had an altar. Yeah, they're like rocks and stuff. And they like, hold all the cards for the week. It was kind of cool. It was neat. But they kept calling cells witches and like, maybe they are. I'm like, maybe they are but like, I'm just not used to people. Like I'm a witch. I'm like, Okay, I'm true. And it's like, No, you're not. So I learned some new things from these witches this week. I learned that there's a thing called a spliff. Okay, and I think it's like now we are old. Yeah. Like, what's this about a laugh? I actually thought this older term I actually don't know what is it? So it's a joint that is stuffed with tobacco. Oh, and weed. Oh, God. So two things that would probably kill me. So it's like a blunt and if you don't know blunt is it's like the outside cigarette like it's you cut out all the tobacco and then you just smoke the outside of like a cigarette or whatever. It's called, like a black of mild or stuffed with something. weed. Oh, okay. Did I make I'm not making sense. feels great. I'm just letting you know right now, just like on the side note, I know. This feels fucking great. Like the combo. I mean, I feel happy. I feel relaxed. I don't know what I'm saying normal again. I feel like I'm had Hi this is for some reason. Anyway, so so you had a spliff so I so I go to the beach, have some wine, come back to the pool. I'm drinking some beer. I also had slipped myself an edible. And I know there's no weed all the time. But this has to be spoke about. Yeah. So Sandra truth then they're rolling these splits and splits. And I'm like, okay, like, I'll take ahead. So I take the biggest drag in my life. And I held it in for a long fucking time. Like, you know, sometimes you can hold it in for a long time. And you're like, Oh, this is fucking me up like it, the longer it sits on my lungs, I'm gone. I did that. And I'm like, thanks. So I'm in the pool. And one of them starting to talk about I don't even like I don't even know. Just talking talking. And I'm like, slowly fading into a state of I'm not really listening to you anymore. And this is probably the edible kicking in right here like, you know the Charlie Brown like wattwatchers Yes, the teacher voice so I'm like, I can't do this at all. Like, I don't know what she's saying. Like, I've got to like turn so I'm in the pool. Only one in the pool. They're like, Oh, so I turn my floats and have my back to them. So I'm like, I'm like just like looking for and going to relax. Everything's fine. Read relax, as the spliff is hitting me and I think it's the tobacco that hit with a punch. And then here comes the weed and then it's on top of the edible and the wine. So here I am floating in this pool. I see Michael leave with down and I'm sitting there and these these these witches are just talking and talk. Why they were speaking in which language and I was like, Oh my god, they're talking about me. Like they got to be talking about me. I've got to get out of this fucking pool. That's when I couldn't feel my legs. I could but I was like, I don't think I can bear weight on my legs like I just Don't. So I get I saw I'm sitting there like, okay, so I like practice stood up. I was like, Okay, I think I can do this. I see Michael certain walk back and I go, I have to do this now like now or never so I get out of the pool. I feel like I cannot feel my legs. I feel like, seriously, I was like that. Hi, I look at Michael and I go, I'm really sorry. Um, I have to go to the room. I said, cuz I'm fucking so high. I've got to go lay down. Okay, so this is all set up for a reason. So I go to the room, I lay down and then I see this picture. I send a picture. I'm like, this. Is this you Bobby? as a joke, and I go, like, I literally stared at it for probably 10 minutes. Like, I'm not even kidding. I was like, What in the fuck is this? Me? Why? Going through all that? And then I said, I'm sorry. Like, I don't get it. I'm Hi. Where you responded, what do you know? It's like, Whoa, what's going on? It's really cool. Like, okay, and I'm like, No, like, I'm talking fucking high. And so I switched to voice messages at that point. I was like, I gotta hear this. And I could immediately tell so we had Dave in the conversation too. So Dave turns up, but I'm gonna play a clip right now of this conversation and I'm going to apologize ahead of time, because for all of my fans that are gonna be real disappointed in me because Honey, you were I was locked to the bed. Lots of the bed to where I could not even lift my body. And I looked at June's little clam. Yeah, clam toy clam toy, which looks like a big old vagina. It does. I actually put it into my crotch later that night. I was like, Oh, this is like a pussy. But I was looking at this clam and it was looking back at me. And at that moment, I said to myself, Oh, fuck, like, I go and then I thought what are these witches? Putting this fucking spliff? Like is there Angel Dust? Is there like like, what is in the spliff? You know what I mean? Not me, so that's when you decide to interject. Like, we got to get this I was like, I got to hear like, what level he's at. And so it was a different level than I've ever heard. Beyond. And here it is. Gay did that. So maybe come back laughing Ah ha ha ha. So anyway, wow, that was the conversation between us and then David the ends like I think he just gets a phrenic I'm like, I'm fine. Really? I didn't tell my voice like how beyond think shaky like yeah, like he is shaky. It's that he's talking to a clam right now like that. Like I'm Percocet voice, but what's that called narcotic voice I've never heard that. He voices are shaky when there and if you hear like a shaking someone's voice, it's probably because they're on drugs to too many drugs. Honey, I read Percocet voice No, I don't do perkis I used to love Percocet in fact. Like this is gonna sound a fucking terrible and I'm really sorry. Okay, but um, no say yet. Say it is it's really great. And it's scary because it's you see how it could take over someone's life because I really think fantastic like, I I've never taken I took it after wisdom teeth extraction. Like when I was like 14 or 15. I just slept on the couch and don't really matter. So my sister like she will lay down and then she gets lightheaded and can't see anything getting likes gets. Oh, she takes she doesn't like Percocet. Yeah, me I'm like cleaning gobble me swallow me. Drip gravy down inside of me. gobble gobble me Swami drip. beside me. I saw her shirt. I like that. I didn't come up with it though. Well, first cuz I'm late to the party. Well, you're high on Percocet. Well, yeah, so I'm pinned to the bat. Let me just paint the picture. So yeah, so I end up talking to the clam and June and you all heard it so that was I was allowed to record film that honestly, I didn't even think that it would save those audios. And I was like, maybe it did because I thought about it like yesterday I was like, oh my god like I've got to see if it and it dead. So I'm very happy for that. Thank you for switching the voice. Oh my god. But yeah, I don't really So anyway, back to the witches, which is great. Okay, they were really nice people. I hope they're listening. Julian Carolyn. I think Julie might be listening. She best and she was I'm gonna vote her best which Ah, sorry. Wow. Yep. And out of all of them. Yep. That's which of the week the witch of the week is Julie which made really good garlic bread. Okay, she bought like 25 bottles of wine and like every night she's like this pairs great with this and this pair is great with I mean like Yes. What's on it and making drinks making Margarita is homemade like natural Margarita is so lime and orange juice. Like us, you definitely need like a natural healthy Margarita to mix with the which wheat and the tobacco spliff well and it's tobacco like raised by them all they grew it like everything. That's key, the weed. Oh, I'm on top of a mountain in West Virginia, you know many weed farms are probably in West Virginia. Really? Because literally nobody has service even like call it out there anyway, like, wait up on this farm? No. Yeah, like who's gonna be the one who knows? Like, who really knows what weed looks? I mean, to me, I feel like yeah, I can smell it, though. You can. I remember landing in Denver, and I was like, Oh, boy. Oh, yeah, there's definitely This smells like either that's their pollution or this is the week that's all. It's both. So one big hot box. hotboxing What's that? Oh, my God, like a lunchbox. But you heat it up? No, it's like you get in a car and you keep the windows open and you smoke blind. Oh, so you don't have to smoke when you get high that this is not a weed episode. Oh, that happened to me on the way to a Coldplay concert. Actually, when I was in high school, and I got I've never in my life. I remember. Anybody say like, let me I got a hotbox that a Coldplay? I gotta tell you this story because it was embarrassed to tell it. So we're driving down to the Coldplay concert. I'm sitting in the back little innocent, like, not even out Jim. I'm sitting in the back and all my friend like three other friends are in the car. My best friend's like older brother who is in college whips out a joint while driving. All the windows are up on the highway. This is outside Cincinnati. Like it's not you know, we're not like in a legal state. This is, you know, way back when he started smoking it and like they're passing around. I'm like, No thanks. And then like, I realized the entire cars was smoke and I was like, precious cargo on board. Like that cuz I'm thinking of my mom. And like, if I hit a car and die, there's weed in the car and then they're like, well, he died. Like do mom's against weed for us. Right? So I was like, maybe just like, let He's like, Oh, my he just said like, Oh my god, you probably didn't realize that. And he didn't. I was like, okay, you probably got a little residual. I probably didn't didn't I remember getting like I'm having this is the best concert ever. I did think that so maybe have done it before and have but you were didn't know it. And I like team. Oh no. So that's hotboxing hotboxing. I'm a hot boxer is your hot boxer. Oh, God. Yeah, so hot boxing. batch. batch. Oh, mass, Matt. It's great. It's great. So nudity. So about nudity. I'm a little concerned. So there was like a little bit of nudity from the witches like they the first or second night they just like jumped in the pool but naked. Are they like which is below the belt as well? Or? You know, big nose? Because you a big warning. Big clip? Oh, I'm just picturing morning claim today. You thought that I always make sure you like they're all natural. They don't like trim or shave. They like grow their own weed. So I'm like, Yeah, they don't. They had eggs and underarms. They live their life. fucking care. Did they didn't see us. Because I was in the room. Going to sleep. I didn't want to buy. I saw the one that Michael is naked with them. No, he came right back up. He was freaked out. He was like, I think we all had the we were like living to be nice. Like, the witches. You know, we don't know what witches are. So I'm like, I need to be really kind like, and they could they curse me. Yeah, they could and I hope they do. But they didn't. And they were amazing. And I actually really loved actually without them there it would have been different. So I really, I really took it on with them. So and it's it's Halloween. So which season is here like this is peak, which I actually was gonna interview them. But then I was like, I ran out of time. I was like, you were I don't worry about I didn't want to work. I mean, let me get on vacation. So Didn't you like spend some time on the beach as well? You're right on the beach. very peaceful. You're in the Outer Banks of North Carolina like I was on the Outer Banks. And literally, it's so weird. What's happening, honey, when you were like I went to Carolina, I was like, which one was Carolina, East Carolina. The Carolina was like, Okay, okay, so south or north? Or I don't know, actually, I don't know which cities are in which state I do. People are like I was at Hilton hat. I'm like North Carolina. Oh. I really like like Charlotte, South Carolina, North Carolina. Savannah, Georgia. Oh, honey. I thought that was that little city on the water in South Carolina. No, it's in Georgia. I think of Charleston. Charleston. Yes. On Charleston. Yeah, that's like Old South honey. Hmm, probably Still a little bit of concentration camps there. Yeah, like gays. I don't know if they're welcome. You know what I mean now? Um, but yeah, so it was peaceful on the beach. Everything was relaxed. Just chill. There was a wind. A wind. There was a breeze in the air. There was a breeze It was like 75 Okay, that's good. No is perfect, son. That's good. Yeah, yeah, some. Some days were cloudy. Others I looked not. Yeah, I checked the weather every day. I was like, Oh, you're like this bitch like, yikes, I still burned three days, so I didn't. I was like, fuck it. I know. I'm done. There's something about clouds that just make you forget that UV light goes through clouds. Yeah. And I always I'm like, I'm not I'm not putting on fucking lotion. Remember, we went to the lake. And I realized that for two hours and I got burnt. I didn't either. I don't think I did on like certain spots. I know my like hot spots helium like I'm an idiot. But you know that that kind of damage doesn't hit you for another like 40 years. You're not gonna make it you know what I mean? Like, now you know cuz I think skin I'm gonna die from something else before my skin is wrinkly. I think. Yeah. Skin cancer is like from your childhood though. Kind of right. It's like it's been so damaged so deep that eventually it like, starts manipulating the cells. That's right, scientist Baba is here. Sorry. I'm here. Oh, the First Cut Is the Deepest, baby. Um, no. Is it the song? Yeah, I don't know. That's right. That's right. Good. So you did you take walks because I know you're not a big Walker. And by I know. I mean, we all know because everyone that you're hiking. Yeah, I actually was more active though. I'm trying to do that trick. Now. Your watch was showing me I was I was hitting bowling every day. Holy crap. wasn't that great. Honestly, I could have got more steps. But beach steps are different. Like it's a lot fucking harder. Each step hits different. Like, there's things I don't like about the beach. One is walking in sand. One is getting sand everywhere. And then you try to rinse it off. But then your entire leg is wet. And so then you have to go in the house with a wet leg. And then it's like, this was not know what I needed. And they're still saying somewhere in between my toes. I can feel it. And in your sheets. Oh, I'm like, Oh, God, like every night it was like, oh, and we have a dog and she was having anxiety in her like to go um, kind of all she didn't like it. Not really. I mean, she was okay. But it was not her home. It's not my home. It's bad every day. So she's given them a poor baby. She did really great though. Traveling dog was great. It was like a family trip. Our first family trip. Oh, I was killed. But yeah, so the Beatles Great. Thank you. I'm hope everybody just lived vicariously through my life with my which we? Yeah, we have just been on a Bobby sorry. Let's talk about you, Jim. It's your birthday. Talk about what do you what if what's been going on in your world? Like, is there anything you've like witnessed? Is there anything that you needed? Like get off your chest? witnessed? Did you witness a crime? I'm like, What have I been on the citizen app? Oh, fuck, I haven't looked in a while and I get really concerned it doesn't wherever you're at, by the way. So like, I think I did in the Outer Banks. One point I was like, oh, damage or hurricane damage. It was really windy. Well, no, I haven't really done much. I've just kind of been working again. Hooray. Yeah, you do those like spurts? I'm going to suffer. I'm starting right now. Almost done with a spurt. I can't wait to finish this spurt. Yeah, honey. I'm gonna spurt and you're working. Yeah, it's like it's showers. You're putting in do a nighttime Honey. Honey. I'm putting in the work putting in that work because I want this birthday to be worth it. Yeah, the birthday party is going to be Saturday. And honestly, I think the glare systems are gonna make a fucking appearance. I think the glare of sisters need to be out and about and, and we're going to take pictures. We should be the witches of the evening. Oh my god, the glare of witches. Oh, bitch. Boy, water. Big beach. We got to go to the thrift store though. Okay, so when we go to like Raghu Rama or what is it called in clintonville. I need to place where like bigger people donate. So I might have one more time plus Oh, it's in Granby. I think well they get mad at me if I go in there and like buy something cute. No, this bitch like this. girl's like God dammit. I wanted that dress and like to Sorry, I want to dress like sorry, honey. I'm a glare up. Which queen? I'm a glare up which yeah will be like the Hocus Pocus poke holes. I hate the Sanderson sisters. Sorry. I think it's funny. Oh, wow. Well, the podcast is done. Sorry, it's one of those gay phobias probably it is because it did my homophobia wasn't I liked it before I was out like I liked it. When I tell you the way that it was like, Oh, we knew you were gay. When you had the men crossing that street to come jerk off honey. They knew I was playing Barbies and sneak them into the bathtub. Oh, yeah. Until you got an ulcer on your penis. No, I'd swim like mermaids. I did that. Yeah. And like swing their hair out of the water like Yeah, yeah like fucking classic Little Mermaid pair FL actually and I did one time walking my mom's heels actually one time like Milan yeah I was like I used to love her I would make dresses out of like blankets oh I have like wedding trains where like you have the Here comes the bra all dressed in that yellow as whatever 1982 a lot of static yeah yeah like it's come a long way like it used to be like you were getting shocked you were getting tased every time you put a blanket oh my god blankets have come a long way I mean think about it my cousin I would like put a blanket on when we were like had to share a bed and like joke and make a lightning storm at night yeah, you would like look and be like oh there's a lot of lightning that is so bizarre cuz I'm thinking about it now I'm thinking we don't have static anymore like that on static has extinct there's no more static we got rid of it just like warming ended static don't get I'm I know we can't get we can't know the problem is that means we have eight days until we decide if global warming really is gonna end everything really days until this weather we can get married I'm literally mean can control their body had crews just came out with a book of said one vote to change everything or something like that. Because looking at books for your birthday. I think you won that's probably for the best I know cuz he probably like I was really trying to dig deep to I was digging deep. I don't even know if you're gonna like what I got you but here we are. I just like as long as there's thought put into there that's all I need. There's Yeah, there's by the way you're making me cookies. So that's also all I need. Yeah, I gotta make Jim cookies first bird let's keep them to five points. Because again, we're having a celebration here on Halloween for jam. So if you know us come over. Yeah, mask with a mask. You can stay on the porch and we'll give you a bar. Oh, shindig on an oxygen tank. I don't know why. Everyone gets oxygen all sharing the same on Jim's birthday. Everyone gets off. I can't wait for my gift if that's where you're thinking. I think I got you a helium tank. We need oxygen jam. So here's your oxygen tank like okay, are like Oh, actually might be a way to make money. To be honest with you. We did talk about something that make money. And I think it's a great idea. And I just want to say I'm like first to sign on board. Honestly, this might be a smart guy. Next thing. It might be like time to go time to go it might be finding a new venture. We're gonna be joining the She's Not Doing So Well truck. Because we might get bowled over. I can't bake cookies and make fried chicken and we will serve you beer. So you want to do a delivery of like a local beer delivery service where we drive around but like I also wanted to have like draft where we can like pour you in a glass? Yeah, like a neighborhood like shagang not like in a can you have to go home, like pour it into a glass. We have a food truck but it'd be like kegs. To get a license. We're like, within 20 feet of the truck. You can chug whatever beer you want. Oh my god by sold and Oh, yeah. So I mean we're on our way so if you don't have any more PCs, She's Not Doing So Well. Truck nearby. Say hello and get your fried chicken and oxygen tank and a little beer. A little bit of beer oxygen. And what's the other thing? I'm baking? Yeah, I'm a baker and get some Coke Zero because I definitely have that on hand. Yeah, we need that. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We have to drive. So yeah, we need to get a driver owners so like, Yeah, get into this business and we cannot hire people. Thank you, officer. I'm the owner. I'm the fucking owner like um, you're gonna have to pull over you're gonna have to like why this out? there like sir we've pulled you over five times this week. The truck has to go the truck has to go. But just the check has repeating you I think that's like my favorite thing to do. I'm like yeah, yeah, yeah. See when you're on the which we which weed? Sweet is scary. But yeah, so we're less than a week from elections like what are your fears? I'm horrified that all the polls are wrong. And if they're right, we're saved like we can move on. But if they're wrong, like we're all royally fucked and I'm moving to Montreal. I mean, seriously? Sorry. They're like well hold you accountable leave leave bitch. What is the Crossroads what of your Crossroads that's what I'm I was thinking about this last maybe it's like part of maybe I need a new life. What is your What are your Chinese number? What was your Chinese number? Oh 78 we might have to look that up off the air I may post something cuz I'm wondering if now something in there said like you're making a big move and that's the time we're like this is whatever but maybe now you'll be moving to a different country. There's a crossroads happening here and I don't know Okay, this is freaking me out. It kind of leads me to but where's my fall success falls out over No, it's a no till December bitch. Which, which would be, which would that be? Oh, yeah. Yeah, we used to do that too. Anyway, I'm scared as well. So yeah, I The same exact fear literally everything you just said or fears. And it's in a week and we're just sitting here like did did it to do? stocking up on product wine. We should have stocked up on automatic rifles but little late now if you want me to be fucking really, like honest with the honest dude to be honest Hey, honest with you, oh, I'm scared shitless of a civil war and I know you can't say that. I'm like, I don't think so. And then, like dead in the street next week, you're like, No, do I should have bought that you're over my body like, Uh huh. How does it feel now? And like me now, like in your upper class neighborhood and over here, honey, we already we're already fighting. Yeah, you might have to call me. I might, you might fall break. Oh, no, I'm Stan. Oh, honey, you're gonna be on the other side. Right? literally, literally, I'm like, Okay, fine. Tip tips. My friend, Tiffany Trump. You know, tip tip, I'm one of the key pluses. I'm the I A, bla bla. But then you wouldn't be should have died. Because she says there's a cure for AIDS like the cure for AIDS is to prevent someone from getting HIV? I don't know. I can't be. I don't know what HIV or AIDS is you make don't they think AIDS is the same as HIV. that's who we're dealing with. That's who people are voting for? I know. They're like, Oh v AIDS. I'm like, No, no, you don't get V aids like you don't. Oh, and then you have AIDS like that's not only gays in the LA GB que el MLG cup pluses and Q's and Ks. No T's though. Definitely. No. t's. Like we got to keep the T's out. So yeah, I think we got one week left and we're just shit faced. So the word we're gonna, we're gonna we're gonna be we're having a gathering. I might actually have to take off that Wednesday. I'm working seven days in a row starting that. So I'm, I'm ruined. Yep. But I am having a party. Okay, we're just gonna relax and be calm. And here's what we need to hope for Florida goes for Biden and the nights over. Because that's like, what? 29 but like it's all done. If Florida goes for Biden, the night can end we can go to bed. prediction. I'm so scared. I am too. So like you're honest. You're honest, honest thought of what's gonna happen? I think I think Biden's gonna win. Do you really feel it? Yeah. Because I'm like talking to a lot of people when I text for his campaign in states I wouldn't expect that are like, Yeah, we got you have done the work. I've been I probably texted like 20,000 people Holy shit. So all those texts you guys are getting that you hate that or you're so annoyed way it's Jamison Biden campaign. I literally am like, Hi, I'm Jim. And then people are like, What? What do you want? Hi, are you gonna vote but most people are like fuck off like Trump, MCE 2020. But I don't ever respond. That's what's so funny. But I wouldn't. I'm like, I've stopped. I get like three a day. I don't have time. I mean, hey, it's Leslie with Joe Biden Harris camp, and I'm getting messages from campaigns where I gave like $5 to some random state like, here's money for someone in Iowa. And it's like, I actually no, I'm done. Like Thank you. Thank you. I think now, next, next Yeah, I do. I really have a bad feeling. Oh, so you're I'm always going small Civil War. I'm pessimistic though I am. Unless that's my partner is I'm also right, though a lot. I'll be honest with you. If you're right about this, you're done. I know I don't want to be right. I really pray to God. Like you'll be the first to go in the war. I really pray to God that people make good decisions, including people in your home state. Yeah, honestly, Georgia is a really hot Georgia. Georgia is really close to where does it really close? I swear to God, if it flips, I will be sad or Texas flips and I will lose my mind. It's always been said in Georgia. It's rad anyway, so that's why I don't vote. Yeah. Guess what? It might be blue bitch is definitely purple. Oh, it's absolutely purple. So if it's so close to Trump and Pence have to go there the week before the election, like it's not it's not really all red. They're not doing so well. Like they're not they're going to all the states that they went last time they're not going to any new states where they they're like, please, Michigan, please. Pennsylvania, Wisconsin way it's Ohio now. Yeah. They're coming to Ohio. They're coming to Ohio. They're coming coming to Ohio. You sound like in Ohio. Am Ohio because we will do say Ohio. Hi, I'm from Ohio. That's how my grandpa from Kentucky says it. Hey, ha. Oh Ha ha ha what's up mitch mcconnell says oh ha Oh, oh. Oh. This is how we're coping with the election right here. This is we're just gonna pretend it's not happening. This whole I am in trouble. I got like, honestly, I'm not gonna be a birthday party is gonna be fun. We're gonna be blackdog gonna be I'm gonna be I'm gonna be in drag. 12 wine spritzes like in drag, honey. We're doing lipstick and all we're putting makeup on right now. I'm gonna shave. Oh my god, I really wish about I'm gonna do a full I wish somebody could come over, but I know it's gonna be too far fetched and honestly, I'm a little picky about my makeup artists, so Oh, I mean everything in the West family is amazing at doing makeup. They really are. But there's certain styles, you know what I mean? The way you just said like, doing makeup as if they're not good at everything else. They're only good at makeup. Like they're really good at doing makeup. They're good at everything. I know. You bet. I just looked up. You're like, I'm okay. I'm doing well. I mean, we did. I mean, we did. Well, well. We can't go here this week. Can we? I can't. You always encouraged me. I'm like, I'm leaving. I'm like, everybody hates us. Yeah, what's up? It's Oh my god. What's up? What's up? What's hot? Oh, what's bad? He's up. What's up? What was it? I was like that Budweiser commercial was so creepy, to be honest. Ah, so like, let's talk some Halloween thing. Yeah, that's the name of the thing. on track, Jim. Oh, shit. getting fucked up. Oh, puppy. I don't know how to answer those. Hello? Yeah. No, I haven't. The gfl Yeah, I was thinking we were gonna wait until later anyway. Okay, that works. I love you. He asked my friend June. I'm like, um, I was like, Oh, I'm in trouble. Yeah, I was like, are we fucked? Um, so the weird thing Halloween, Halloween. Halloween. Halloween is the sluttiest holiday. I agree. And you know what? Let your freak flag fly. It really is an opportunity for you to tap into what you really want to be or what you can see yourself trying like, I really do think it says about someone's personality there when they wanted to. Okay, so like, the year I was with Eric, who was on our show, yet earlier? Yep. Yeah, the episode. I don't know what it was called the intersectional. being black and gay. I think I just called it okay. It wasn't like a snarky, okay. Usually I'm like, oh, why? Because it sounds like malarkey. Yeah, sounds like malarkey. This is malarkey. We don't know what we're talking about. Don't which is malarkey. And yeah, and we don't and we don't and that's fine. But anyways, Eric and I dressed up as baseball players and we went to Dick's Sporting Goods which tells you where we were starting. Let's go to divorce authority but Dick's Diggs anything sort sort is around me more but so we bought a truck chalk straps and children's. I know that's problematic. But literally like jersey shore. We wanted them to be tight and small. So boys, baseball pants. And do you see this picture before? No, you little show you so we were like just jock straps. So you could see our ass through the short pants. Oh, yeah. Cuz there's no underwear. And they're like you thin Yeah. And then we were like baseball shoes and like baseball hats. And then we pretended we were like Cleveland Indian baseball players. I mean, it's so it was like problematic. problematic was Bloody Bloody clean. I think and Halloween, so we will throw the rules out the book. You do? The rules out the book. I've never heard that. The rules out of the book out of the window? No. I take the rules out of the book. Throw the book out the window. The rules out of the book. Yeah, it's a sports term, honey. Oh, okay. Well, that's why I don't know it. The rules. That's not to throw the rule book at someone. I swear I've said that before you throw the rules out of the book honey. said it before doesn't mean it's great. I guess I'm making it a phrases like fetch. We're throwing the rules out of the book. But yeah, you do. You really do throw the rules out of the book during Halloween. Like you can just you know you're laughing cuz when I say it, it sounds crazy. Yeah, I really like to throw the rules out of the book. I've got to figure this out. It's it's gonna blow your mind. Maybe Dennis picked that up. I like it. The rules out of the book. Like it's taking a The rules are tearing the pages out, right? Like, oh, oops, these are the rules. I'm ripping them out of the book. Usually it's like you dress like this, you do this, but I'm ripping those rules out of the book. But you didn't say anything about ripping. You just said taking the rules out of the book, ripping the earth throwing them you know, he said, Oh, my God, he says section in my patreon rules. Throwing the rules out of the fucking book. is when we don't get together for two weeks. Yeah, it happens. Right? We're one of the original episodes. I love it. Oh, isn't it it's not it's no, we're good. No, we're good. Like, um, so yeah, people let their freak flags fly. Now, did you just freak flags fly? I just glad you said it correctly. I know. I didn't think this a lot of fL fL flag flies fly freak flags five. Ah, that's an alliteration right there. So you were a little slot you were a little baseball whore. Yeah, I was and I was position Did you play that night? You know, I went home with a random so it was one of those where Oh yeah, yeah, I mean, and then I continued seeing that random for a little while but that random one that I know about. Now that's a different one. We might have a surprise episode sometimes. We're in thought process it's part of the crossroad Ooh, I'm I am at a crossroads like I can tell things are happening things are happening. I'm hopefully you can quit your job and then show your guardian face. Find some randoms like and find some randoms maybe maybe I never been slutty of don't I dress and drag them over like a complete and utter horror that you will lift your skirt for whatever man Oh, I am such a whore. And actually, it's really kind of sad. I'll go back to 2016 Halloween. Oh, this got really Mr. Rogers serious winner. I think it was Michael was like a democratic mom or whatever, blah, blah. And I was somebody for Trump girls, women for Trump. Oh, was my outfit. And I had this big busty bra. I had this little short skirt. I was like being a total little See you NTOC and it was funny at the time I was like oh my god, he can't wait. That is great. Oh my god that is so funny cuz here I'm this like six foot five football player being Linda basically like linda tripp. Yeah. Oh, I'm in drag cuz she's very top heavy as well. And just like very thick and apple. Mm hmm. So anyway, yeah. I don't know what I was going with that word. You're a whore when you're in job or so. That sorry. I don't know how I'm gonna like glare up sisters it down because like I feel like the globe sisters have like I'm not wearing anything like I was on claros whatever's on top so I thought I want like a you know, punches around I think like for men Poncho, a poncho. These that like a when it's like a diamond shaped shirt just for men. Yeah. It's like not like the bristly uncomfortable kind are like a cute, flowing smooth fabric. Punch. It's very This is the new look right here. Okay, like I'm all about ponchos. It's like the long they're cute. This is the look. Can you see that? Yeah. So that's like the thing people are doing they're they're wearing fucking ponchos. Like, I'll get one. I love that. I want one. Oh, maybe I'll get you one. I already love nachos, but I can swing it. Well, I What color is your favorite? Spring it? Yeah, that's cute. I want one. I love ponchos that has a little hood. I like one that's comfortable like a person. It's flowy you don't worry about your belly because it's like covered by the price. That's what we call as our friend. One friend. Our one friend said I don't know my blog username. So our one friend. No, I mean no. So our one friend has like these things called eating sweaters where you she has a certain set of sweater she wears when work that she wears when we're going out to eat because she you know you and you want your belly to expand so she's going like dancing or to a club after you eat. You don't want to be tight. Wait so she wears like a sweatshirt or eating sweater or going out like a cute sweater but it's loose. It's not gonna hug her like you can get away with that when you put your arms out it's like loose around there so you're like your Oh, your Tabby isn't like hanging against it. It's fine and elegant. fucked up. Yeah, and the end of the night you can still whip it off quick if you need to. Any pizza. Pizza. Remember pizza? Not allowed on www sorry. It's ruined our life calling me I was talking to Dave about this. Like, when can we have more points because you got to gain more weight Honey, I'm some Yeah, just I know. I read it. Sorry. God. Do you have any favorite Halloween movies? Not no ding ding ding ding. I don't either. Not on how not Halloween Really? I don't watch movies Actually, I'm what's the one with like the log truck? destination I like what? Oh no. I used to go see saw all the songs I've ever seen or knows I've heard they're creepy. Oh, the first one is unfuckin believable is a psychotic I would watch it with you. I'll be doing that out yeah it's not really scary it's more gory and just like nobody could really fucking do this. I want to try let's do it. You might be sucked out sucked out or Let's be saw Oh, the globe sisters watching saw no let's do the movies on acted out. Oh, I'm not sure I'm really like a live like a live action. Real likes let's get gory. No, cuz I know what happens and you don't so we're gonna Yeah, okay, cuz I don't know if it is it bad. That's pretty. Others murders? Oh, yeah. I mean, like, Well, okay, then we can't do that. No. saws not really a dress up. You can't act it out. Okay, you can be the puzzle man or whatever his name is. I can't imagine him anyway. That would be my favorite movie. And like when those were coming out and they had like, saw five and saw seven. We would go every year as a group to go see saw. Oh, cuz I keep coming out with more. But then that faded. But yeah, so that's added life. That'd be the movie that I would say like, oh, is Halloween to me? To me? Yeah. Even though it's really not for a lot of people. I feel like, um, isn't there a movie called Halloween? Yeah. Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding. Oh, yeah. I liked that movie with the new one. I haven't seen the other ones but the new one with the mom from Freaky Friday. So she was in the original Ah, school people are gonna write me on instagram be like what the fuck was Jim doing? I knew she was in it. But so she was the original then they had they had Halloween to Halloween three they had Halloween h2. Oh, then they had Halloween. It's been coming back and back and back. And wasn't this one just called Halloween? Yeah, so then I just had another one. That was actually a different plotline. Oh, wait, like change. So they went from the first one to this one instead of following the regular story. Okay, so like they're like what would happen if maybe nothing happened? Came back was old. I'm Oh, I loved it. I thought it was so good. Okay, well, then maybe I need to see because I'd never give it a chance. Yeah, I saw it in the theaters back when you can do that safely. I think theaters are done. Yeah, sorry. I don't even know why. Why do we all sit in a room together and watch a movie? I feel like it's kind of people talk and they're just like there's people there's teenagers fingered because that right at the theater we figured Yeah, so like That's disgusting. Like I don't want to know there's like some 15 year olds getting finger like I just don't like while I'm trying to enjoy you're trying to enjoy popcorn. Like you don't need this No, I don't need this kind of pressure. Like I don't need fingering going on while I'm watching like the movie like Milan's on and I have to deal with someone getting finger fingered like fingered hard to like you don't know what you're doing when you're you're like not even rubbing that Yeah, you're like oh, yeah, I was like shoving those fingers as far as I could. How many? Two? Okay, like a gentleman a gentleman like a gentleman I could have done a fest but I'm just gonna not that fits your your big I was little then I was fingering I was just a little finger. Oh, I don't even know how to I hope you're loving what we're talking about this? Oh, yeah. I never forget to post Intel's over 18 years old. Okay, good. Oh, yeah. No, there was no I was so petrified of fingering I would be I never did the fingering and he asked it's just disgusting to me are eating palsy. While eating NASS is pretty it's pretty nasty. We've definitely that's what dental dams are for. Exactly. Back to dental dams. Back to dental dams. I knew I brought it up for a reason. Also, there's something else going on. What's your favorite candy? Oh, that's hard. A lot of different good bars. Reese's cup. Sorry, Don. Every time. Yeah, but what's that? Like? Take five that's like yeah, it's good. It's like, I just like bowls and peanut butter. I love Reese's cups, but I need like, a little more flavor a little more like texture. Okay, so you like a nutty kind of thing. Halloween. Give me that. You're more nutty at Halloween. I want that nut. Oh, God. That's kind of Wow, I'd rather have that. You want the nut in you and on you but not right in you and on? Yeah, like a nut falls down like you can just like like a little walnut. A little walnut drips down your squirrels that will be dropped me gobble needs follow me rob me. Um, so I have to talk about this as well. And this is gonna be an Instagram. I'm gonna nightmare. Probably. candy corn. Yes or no? I Why would I want to eat wax? It's straight wax. I bite into it. I'm like, is this a candle? I don't know. What am I? And then the flavor is like cardboard with like, I don't even know what it's made out. What is it? What the fuck is candy corn? I love candy corn. I'm gonna have a lot of people hate candy corn. It's so gross. I think it's good. What is it? You're never ever shoved like I love it. You have no idea what it is. No one knows. It's like a piece of candy. It's flavored like corn. It's like buttery. But, but what is the substance other than what is the science of like? cinnamon sticks the bark of a pine tree? This is like corn syrup. Cinnamon is the bark of 100% corn syrup Kansas. It may be but I know I like it texture is like I think I'm in the minority. Wow. I really do. I think everybody I thought it was wax growing up like I thought it was straight beeswax and I could shove like 15 candy corns on my mouth. I wants to just like that's what I used to do. I said take the bowl. You're gonna shove them in somewhere else. Oh, my hole. Yeah, come catch them Michael push them out. Oh, God all over the little machine guns. Did my candy corn any Jim could catch him in her mouth. Oh. She can catch she knows she really can't. Well, I can't believe you love candy corn. So time for the podcast and yeah, I mean, I guess we're gonna end on candy corn. Oh, art across route. We are at a crossroads like you really were shot. This is a fucking cross. I was like, Oh, he's gonna hate them. I love them. I love them all flavors, because they have weird flavors, too. I love everything about it. Sorry, I admitted it. So if you want to bring your candy gaghan gooped yakhdan gooped girl I'm gagging Google girl. Yo, girl. I need to give it another chance. I'll try one more this year but like, so good. Because so weird. Have some at my birthday party. Okay, I'm gonna maybe I'll make a big bullet can be a little tricky. Yeah, all candy can do like one cookie. I could do a cookie with something else within mega porn on top could became one. We can pick them off. Throw them away. That's what vegetarians are used to doing. just picking shut off. Yeah, we're like, is this bacon? pick it off? I'm like, I don't pick it off my food, honey. Oh, you should all or nothing. I like our whole enchilada. Yeah. I don't pick shit. I know. We know. Clearly I'm not putting anything to the side. We know you don't let anything go to waste. There's nothing that's getting passed you will get a fish product. That is funny because Dave's like that. Like my partner will not touch seafood. He thinks he wants to vomit when he sees someone eating shrimp. I like shrimp. I like really like shellfish. You like the southern thing. I like the shells stuff. I do. Not that. I'm not sure about crawdads but those are probably go I'm not sure about that. But like catfish. No, not and they're like tastes this isn't ham. It's only good fried. I'm like, Oh, I like salmon. Yeah, but it tastes like weird. I don't like it. I just it just bothers me. And then it bothers me like restaurants leave the head on. Sometimes you're just like eating the body. True. Disgusting. That's horrifying. horrifying. Well, well, well, if you've enjoyed your time with us, please go to Apple or Spotify or iTunes or whatever the fuck you listen to podcast and subscribe. Also leave us a review. Review since August. We have it now. I feel like we're falling from grace. I really do. This is where I'm at a crossroad. This is where I get like really anxious about it. But I'm We're fine. We're fine. Like we're literally literally fine. So go find us. Go join us on Instagram. We might Yeah, there's some things coming up honey that you won't even be ready for. Yeah, we have a special guest lined up for our Thanksgiving episode. That's one of our most popular actually our most popular episode. In the first seven days it beat every other one pretty much. So took well. Thank god he's coming back. Yeah, and it's gonna be an anon interview form so I'm kind of excited. Same like we just we're just gonna banter, banter back and forth banter back anyway, we'll keep you updated on now that and until next time, please enjoy the rest of your week. And this has been another episode of She's Not Doing So. Well. I'm Bobby I'm Jim. Gay. Welcome just kidding Randy the whole episode again. No, we're not we're not it's not what I pressed. It's called Goodbye. Thank you for listening to another episode of She's Not Doing So Well. Leave a message with questions or comments 86692074643 Don't forget to subscribe and check out our links in the podcast description of this episode. Views information or opinions expressed during She's Not Doing So Well podcast are solely those of the individuals involved and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any other agency, organization, employer or company. This has been a house of breath production.