Swell AI Transcript: untitled-episode (1).mp3

00:00 SPEAKER_03 You're gonna fuck my slutty little mouth. Okay. You ready? Yeah. Hello everybody and welcome to another- I can't start like that. That's how I do it. Hello everybody.

00:08 SPEAKER_01 That was like the CNN report. Hello everybody. Welcome to another episode of Not Well. I'm Jim.

00:13 SPEAKER_03 And I'm Bobby. Thank you for joining us. We've got some news to report tonight. Like the little like news thing. That was cute. Ladies and gentlemen. Um, no. Hi everybody. Hi. Hi. Bobby's back. I'm back from Michigan. I have a lot to say about it so you better fucking stay put. Or whatever. We gotta start over. I know we don't. We're fine. I love it. I love when we fuck up because it's always the best episodes. Okay. So anyway, hi. Call us if you'd like. 614-721-5336. That's 614-721-5336. Can we show that? Yeah, tell our listeners what it is. This picture. So basically it's a drag, fat drag queen from Mississippi. And we'll get into it. It says Rear Malls. Rear Malls. Where are you? Oh yeah, that was mid-journey. They just do fake things. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah, I typed in fat Mississippi GOP member drag queen. And it looks exactly like that. Did you read that story yet? Oh honey. Okay, we have a lot to get into. So yeah, make sure you call us.

01:19 SPEAKER_01 614-721-5336. That is, yeah.

01:23 SPEAKER_03 614-721-5336. You didn't believe I knew. You're high ass. Your eyes just went. I said it six times. I know the little glossy like.

01:30 SPEAKER_01 I looked and I was like, he needs tippy-tapped. He's like.

01:33 SPEAKER_03 Yeah, sometimes that does happen when I'm high. I'm like. You're like deadpan. You're like. And then you panic because then you're like, what was I saying? I know. That's every time that I, when I do that. I can't stop talking. But the minute I stop, it'll be like. There's a hockey stick over there. What was I saying? And it's over. So I'm glad that we do a podcast to where I get high. And then I can't speak. So like, what's the fucking point?

01:55 SPEAKER_01 I'm not sure. So tell me, I wanted you to kind of like try to go into that. I don't know what that was about. So people in my life know this, but my husband, Mathias. Mathias. I keep a running list of quotes from Mathias. And he said one this past week that I just had to add. I don't remember the context, but it was something about people having surgeries.

02:19 SPEAKER_03 And Matt said, if I had a hysterectomy, would I have anything left? Well, and I don't think he knew what the hysterectomy meant. He doesn't have a uterus. Right. Now, speaking of, I almost said, sick teresemies. Well, that's how he said it too. Hysterectomies. Can you bleed after one of those?

02:42 SPEAKER_01 Like out of your vagina? I mean, no, not a lot. You shouldn't have like a period. Got it. Your uterus is gone.

02:49 SPEAKER_03 That's all I needed to know. Thank you. There's some issues.

02:52 SPEAKER_01 That's for someone at work. By the way, Monday, Tuesday, not in. No, see this, she can't.

02:57 SPEAKER_03 She's abusing. Yeah, she's abusing. But the good news is that she only has a day and a half left of vacation for the rest of the year. So that's a half a year. Like she has problems already. I mean, she was in out. She's been out in July for five days in July. She's fucked. Yeah. So anyway.

03:10 SPEAKER_01 Anyway, she's got to go though.

03:12 SPEAKER_03 Like now back to this quote, though, I think that's actually I can just like totally picture him saying that too. Like out of nowhere, it probably had nothing to do with anything you were probably talking about either. It was probably like, no, I don't even remember. I'm like something so random.

03:26 SPEAKER_01 I just was sitting on the couch looking at him. And after he said it, I was like, what's that? Do you do his laugh too? Yeah. Yeah. He loves it. What? Do you want another quote? I'm not actually a fan. Let me just pull this up. Pull this up my pussy.

03:43 SPEAKER_03 You're posting up pussies. Is that what you're doing? OK. Oh, you have a oh, you don't you're not even lying. You have a legit list. Yes.

03:53 SPEAKER_01 Let's read like four. OK. So another thing that he said about after we watched the movie, everything everywhere all at once. And he meant this seriously. He called it this, that, them and then.

04:10 SPEAKER_03 He was like, you know, that movie, this, that, them and I was like, what's over yonder and through the woods or whatever. That's funny. Do you like we were talking about this or do you just write the quote and then you remember?

04:22 SPEAKER_01 OK. This was a story about a dance club that was in New Lexington that let me tell you, that sounds wonderful. This story literally set the mood for the table. I was out with friends and he had never met like over half of them. So he went and he had had a gummy because he has his medical card. Right. Because of his pain, because of his pain. And he started telling stories and giggling. And he was talking about this club in New Lexington that was frequented by larger people. So fat people. So he's dying laughing and he's like, and then my friend said, rattle, rattle, here come the cattle. I cannot. He's dying laughing at the whole table. This is how I picture him. And one of my friends is a bigger girl. And she was like sitting there and I was like, is this hitting the right? No, but they laugh. Oh, of course. It was a funny story.

05:15 SPEAKER_03 You don't laugh. That means you don't mean you figure it out. If you're not going to laugh with them, they're just going to keep laughing at you. That's a good life quote. That is actually a fucking that was a high moment right there.

05:29 SPEAKER_01 That was I don't know where that came from. And in some cases like Bobby, we do keep laughing at him.

05:34 SPEAKER_03 And it's true. It's true. It's true. We do need to talk about issue one that's happening soon. Is she fucking one? I'm like really scared. I know that thing you sent me. The thing I read this morning that you had, did you send it to me or did I look at your story?

05:48 SPEAKER_01 I was like, I sent you the things that pass by less than 60 percent that would not even be law. If issue one were like we're talking like every basic human rights here, like women having the right to do anything. I think it was like 50, 50 percent segregation, like 57 percent. You're like, so basically none of this that we still have segregation in Ohio. Like it's crazy.

06:10 SPEAKER_03 Now, this is for Ohio listeners and we're just going to speak to you for the next three minutes about this. But basically issue one is what?

06:16 SPEAKER_01 The gerrymandered representatives in the House of Ohio, the Republicans in the House who are in place forever because they've drawn the districts perfectly. Mind you, the old speaker of the House just went to jail for 20 years for embezzlement. But no, this one, another one, another one hit his mom, hit his wife, whatever. We have a wife beater as a GOP member in our Ohio house. So that's Ohio right here in a nutshell. They saw that Ohioans for reproductive freedom and physicians were reproductive. All these different groups are putting abortion rights on the ballot in November and marijuana trying to. Well, that didn't pass. Actually, they didn't get enough signatures. I thought they did. I just heard that today. Are you fucking kidding me? So now Bobby's not voting.

06:59 SPEAKER_03 Oh, hell no. Did it really not? Oh, no. We just got derailed. Breaking news.

07:05 SPEAKER_01 Bobby's brain is derailed. OK, sorry. Yeah, but it might be better in a presidential year anyways. Turn out, turn out. Yeah. So well, it goes both ways. So who knows? But so the Republicans were like, wait, abortion on the ballot? It might actually fucking pass because, you know, people want abortion rights and want to control their body. So they came up with a special election in August, August 8th for issue one, which they broke their own rule because last year they passed something that we couldn't do any special. I guess anymore because it's a waste of twenty five million dollars because of the last time we had to do this because of the gerrymandered fucking districts, the ones that keep them in power that were illegal. They're literally grasping. So issue one is trying to raise the threshold that you need to pass a constitutional amendment in Ohio from 50, a simple majority to 60. And now you need signatures from every county. And you don't get this curing period where if you turn in your signatures to the secretary of state to try to get something on the ballot, if some of them are like duplicates or they put the person put the address wrong or something like stupid, like a mistake, they don't give you time to fix that. So they're basically trying to take away all of our all of our ability. Citizens led initiatives to get things on the ballot to vote on. They want to stop that because they know we're not fucking around because they know we're going to try to pass shit that they don't want to pass because they don't want to pass.

08:27 SPEAKER_03 Because they're not in it for the actual people. They're not in it for money. They're in it for money. They're in it. That was the speaker of the goddamn Ohio House like literally 20 million dollars. We're talking not 20,000. Even that would be appalling.

08:41 SPEAKER_01 Right. It's no god. That's who these people are. So anyway, we've got a vote by August 8th. No, vote no on issue one to keep majority rule in Ohio. OK. And I think next week maybe we'll do like a special. We need a reminder like a quick little like 20 minutes.

08:58 SPEAKER_03 But we can put out separate so that people in Ohio can just listen. Yeah. So anyway, that's that. Now, speaking of like questionable choices, choices and just whatever. Have you heard about this Jason Aldean situation? I mean, I can't imagine you did it.

09:12 SPEAKER_01 But I unfortunately did and had to like look into it because who the fuck is he? First of all, I don't know who it is.

09:19 SPEAKER_03 He sings one of my favorite songs. What? I've never heard it. Ice cold beer sitting in the console, which is drinking and driving memory. Anyway, it sounds right. So anyway, he came up with the song and I did you watch the video? No. OK, so I did. OK, so here's the problem that I'm seeing. OK, what I'm seeing happening here is they're showing all these riots and.

09:51 SPEAKER_01 Or what you would call a riot, but really it's a like a demonstration, a positive, like the Black Lives Matter and like a lot more mild than January 6th, basically. Oh, yeah, January 6th. So like that wasn't a riot. That was a peaceful protest.

10:05 SPEAKER_03 That's sort of where I got a little pissed off was the fact that he had. So that's what the problem is, is that these little videos in here that's like basically saying in a small town, you did any of this shit, your ass would be fucking basically because there's gun talk and everything.

10:19 SPEAKER_01 Isn't it strange that it's directed to black people and then, huh, in a small town with a country, southern sounding singer, weird. I wonder what happened in small towns to black people. I don't know. It's like kind of crazy.

10:32 SPEAKER_03 I wonder what was it. So I'm going to let you see some of it and then I'm going to talk about some things that like again, there was one commercial. Thank God.

10:42 SPEAKER_04 Extreme abortion ban, stopping efforts to restore our rights. It's about abortion. Vote no on issue one. Yep.

10:52 SPEAKER_00 Oh, God, it's so dumb already. There's fog. Like I can't write. OK, so we're showing Molotov cocktails. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

11:31 SPEAKER_03 But you notice they're not showing the insurrection.

11:33 SPEAKER_01 They're not showing the white guys in fucking Charlottesville carrying all the fucking torches. Right, because that is a small. These are the small towns where that was Black Lives Matter. It's all Black Lives Matter, basically. I didn't realize he was a full racist. Right. This is the same guy. Wonderful. This is the same motherfucker. And I think he filmed it in front of a place where lynchings occurred. Yeah, so it was like the old capitol. So I'm building. Weird. Huh? Weird. But you know, the woke. These aren't even dog whistles.

12:00 SPEAKER_03 These are just like, hey, racists like me. You know, I was driving home and I was really thinking about this and I was like, I just feel like people are just doing shit now to piss everybody off because then now it's number two on the charts. So why not just piss everybody off? Because you're going to get you're going to benefit from it because everybody's going to be talking about it like us. When I don't really want to talk about it. However, I really think it's fucking annoying. And I also decided that we're going to write our own fucking song called Try That in Our Big City. OK, I love that. Now you can assume where I got these lyrics. Yes. Chat, chibi tea. But I said, I need you to do a flip around. So go ahead.

12:35 SPEAKER_01 I love this. OK. You can just read the first couple of paragraphs. Stand strong together on our city streets. Help a stranger at a crosswalk light. Support the owner of the local bookstore. Think it's cool. Well, show respect and shine bright. Thank our cops. Speak truth to their face. Fly that flag of diversity. Light it up. Yeah, you think you're bright. Bring that to our big city. See how far you make it down our avenue. Round here, we take care of everyone. Cross that line of unity. It won't take long for you to find out. I recommend you do bring that to our big city. So chat. Gbt is wonderful. God bless. That's the next hit.

13:13 SPEAKER_03 That's the next hit. So here's the original one. It says sucker punch somebody on a sidewalk. Car jack an old lady at a red light. All negative. And then try that in a small town. Got a gun that my granddad gave me. They say one day they're going to round up. Well, that shit might fly in the city. Good luck. Really? So I was like, I need you to write a fucking song. I love this. That's the opposite of that. So got a book that my teacher gave me. They say one day we're going to rise up again. Well, that might fly in a small town. Good luck. Like I just totally like flipped it. Oh, I love it. Chat. Gbt people. So anyway, this bullshit with Jason Aldean, like listen, okay. Do you feel like we're just giving too much of our time though towards things like this? Because now I'm thinking this is all on purpose. Like let's rile this up. Keep riling us up.

13:58 SPEAKER_01 I wonder though. It doesn't feel like it's not. I don't feel like he's smart enough to do it on purpose. I don't either.

14:03 SPEAKER_03 I think he's just a full racist idiot who's like, I'm going to write about them bro. This is the same guy that got almost shot in Las Vegas during that he was on stage during the mass. That's unfortunate. He's there's a new documentary where he was on and I was like, wow, that's crazy. Fuck you, Jason.

14:19 SPEAKER_01 Right. The largest mass shooting in the USS. So bad. Maybe. I wish maybe something would have fucking towards you. You little whore. Wouldn't have bothered me. Not a bit. Oh my God. I didn't know who he was. I still don't. Anyway. Also, he's really ugly. Yeah. That's rude. That's rude. But he's ugly country. He's one of those countries. It's like the inbred country. It's like there's some hot, you know, country people.

14:43 SPEAKER_03 Neonazis even. Like I hate to say it.

14:45 SPEAKER_01 Oh, those. If you didn't let them open their mouths and you didn't look at their swastika. Swastika. Then you would think, okay. Okay. So anyway, another story about people in on that side of the fence. A Mississippi GOP. Oh, yeah. A Mississippi GOP. Yeah. A Mississippi GOP. Yeah. A Mississippi GOP. Yeah.

14:59 SPEAKER_03 A Mississippi GOP. Yeah. A Mississippi GOP. Yeah. A Mississippi GOP member was in drag. Oh, my God. And my question is how many times we have to see this before we question like literally everything they do and they say they don't like they end up being the ones that are doing it. This is the picture. So he's like an ugly fat gay. You can tell he's a gay. I mean, sorry, you're gay as fuck. He's wearing a tutu and a little dress. This is actually pink too. But it's because it was for breast cancer. It's okay. How much Nina West and the West family have donated over the years to charity. So what's the difference?

15:35 SPEAKER_01 Oh, my God. Isn't it insane? Like I just need to know. I just need to know for sure that the Democrats next fall are going to have multiple ads just featuring montages of these pictures. These are the same ones that are all the people who have fucking dressed up George Santos,

15:53 SPEAKER_03 dressed up all the people, all these ones that have played with little kids. Right. I can't wait.

15:59 SPEAKER_01 I want all the Republican politicians who are groomers and play with kids to be lined up in an ad. We could start our own nonprofit. Two minutes of it.

16:07 SPEAKER_03 That's like the member of the Lincoln Project. Yeah, we need to do that. We can do our own and do our own commercial that shows all these motherfuckers. The real groomers. Show priests, show pastors. Are you going to vote for a real groomer? You know how they like have the weird deep voice. You really going to stand for that Ohio? Like why is no one making that? Because the Democrats, the problem is that- We're pussies. Yeah.

16:27 SPEAKER_01 And I don't mean that misogynistically, but like literally- Where are our ads? We need the red meat for us.

16:33 SPEAKER_03 I want some red meat. The problem that I'm also having is that we listen to Michelle. And listen, I love Michelle. I think she was right at the time. Times are changing, bitch. Look at this little small town bullshit.

16:43 SPEAKER_01 Yeah. Right. They're ready to lynch people again. They're literally ready to like- We're going to go high. Yeah, high in the tree. Like we don't need it. We need to get real. I gave him everything. I was half a virgin when I met him. We're making these songs and then we're just like, oh, I guess they're the real groomers.

17:00 SPEAKER_03 And it's like, okay, who's going to bring it up though in the public sphere? But then he had the balls to say cancel culture and culture. Okay. Well, what about Dylan Levine and Bud Light then? That's all you guys did. That's all you're still doing. That's all Rhonda Santus is still doing.

17:15 SPEAKER_01 It's obsessed with it. Canceling books, canceling curriculums, canceling teachers, canceling Disney.

17:20 SPEAKER_03 All you right wingers want to do is cancel culture. Because you're bored and you're stupid and you don't understand. That's what it is. No offense. I know.

17:29 SPEAKER_01 They have nothing going on.

17:30 SPEAKER_03 Think about what they have going on in their lives. Nothing. They hate their wives. They hate their husbands. Their kids are gone. They hate their small towns too. They hate their small town.

17:38 SPEAKER_01 They're like- They wish they could be a city slicker. They're like, how do we escape this and go do something fun? Let's go get dinner in the city. Let's go do the- Yeah, like where are you going? Yeah, you're bored.

17:46 SPEAKER_03 You're fucking bored. That's my favorite part. People are like, yeah, I'm from a small town. But then they go drive 30 minutes north to the big city and eat.

17:51 SPEAKER_01 Let's go to Target. We'll go to Texas Roadhouse on the way home.

17:54 SPEAKER_03 Do you know that all these people that are probably running these businesses are most of them pretty outward thinking progressive people. Just cancel everything and just go away. Honestly, I'm ready to split up the United States. I don't even fucking care anymore. Let's go full hand maids. They can have the South. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, take the South. It's already, I mean, ocean levels right now. Heatwires are at their highest. It's only going to go downhill. Bye. Go to the South, honies. Oh my God. Now, we did get a listener email. I did try to get a phone call. But it's a really cute one. I'd like you to read it because I'm not a good reader, as you know.

18:24 SPEAKER_01 No, you're not. Not even on a good day. Okay. Subject, seeking advice. Coming out at 30 plus, feeling lost in dating. Okay. Hey, Bobby and Jim, I hope you're both doing well or not. Not well. I'm a big fan of your podcast and I thought I could use some advice from you guys. Recently, I came out at 30 plus after being in denial for a long time. It's been a journey, but I'm struggling with dating and intimacy. I feel like I might be stuck in the friend zone with everyone and worry I've missed the boat looks wise and age wise. I wanted to call your voicemail, but I'm a bit too shy. So I emailed instead any tips to get out of this rut. Thanks for your awesome podcast, Chris.

19:02 SPEAKER_03 Oh, that's cute. I know it was really cute.

19:04 SPEAKER_01 I was like, Oh, so Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris. I feel like I felt like I was in a rut and I was in a rut. I was 19 and I was like struggling with intimacy and dating.

19:18 SPEAKER_03 So you're not in like a unique rut. You're not a unique rut. You're in the rut of like, you know what's going on though in the world. Like when 19, you're kind of like, Oh, I want to just fall in love. But like when you're 30, you kind of know what's up. So then you go from that to being basically 15 again, because you get one phone call from somebody and you're like, Oh my God, I have a crush. And you're like, wow, this is what I've missed my entire life.

19:44 SPEAKER_01 It's all overwhelming. You talk to like a hot guy at a bar and you're like, Oh my God, this is the hottest person ever. Can you? And then you're crushing on them so hard.

19:51 SPEAKER_03 And then it's like, I'm 35. I was 29 and I felt like a fucking idiot because literally I was like a 15 year old girl.

19:59 SPEAKER_01 Like I was like, I was like giddy and like, well, it took me like 10 years to get there because I was just like a clusterfuck of problems. You were emotional. Well, well, no, but everyone comes who comes out late to has to figure out why. Like, why did we wait so long? And so then you feel like you've lost time and you feel like you're a failure and you feel like, Oh no, I should have done this earlier. I wasted my life and I could have been like this. That's the feeling. Then you have to figure out why. And then you get that rush. I cried. So then you're struggling with balancing. Why did I come out later? What am I supposed to do with my life? I'm old. It's too late for me. And then you're having the new feelings coming in and you're trying to reconcile that with feeling too old. And it's it's a clusterfuck.

20:40 SPEAKER_03 Feeling homophobic toward yourself because that. Oh, yeah, for sure.

20:43 SPEAKER_01 No, it doesn't end. Oh, it doesn't end. Yeah, it's still like I'm like you little faggot. It happens a lot. I know. I know. It gives me the I shouldn't walk like that or I shouldn't say that or I shouldn't say my husband or I shouldn't say, yeah, but. I do think the whole thought of I'm being friend zone, I don't know how many times it's happening to you, but like everyone gets like I like most of the crushes I've had did not go anywhere. People like to be honest, I think a lot of they don't go anywhere like half the time. It's like you're at the wrong time in life or this person doesn't fully get into you or you have different styles of talking or like, you know, it's just like it doesn't

21:20 SPEAKER_03 work out a lot. And also, Chris, I'm really sorry, but you're going to be heartbroken. That is something you've never you thought you felt. You're going to get the best top of your life and then he breaks your heart. And literally your heart is broken like into pieces and you literally lay there like a death happen. Like I was like. Laying in my bed at seven o'clock at night and just been like, well, I'm going to listen to some Tracy Chapman. I you got a fancy car and he was into cars too. Or the one Bonnie Ray is you can't make you love me. Oh, my God. Don't only there is a great version. I know you can't make your heart beat when it won't. And so the thing you're going to realize. So dramatic. Oh, my God. I must spit it out. That was so dramatic. Sometimes if you want and you're like, if you won't make your heart beat, if it won't, it won't. But anyway, it's a true statement. Like some people you're going to be so into, they're going to be like, not you at all. So basically what I'm going to say is you need to like try to pump the brakes and just

22:26 SPEAKER_01 like come in. What do you I would say? And we've learned this a little too late. No, I'm just kidding. Nothing is ever too late. No, because there's always Palm Springs. Even if you're 70, you can go have fun.

22:37 SPEAKER_03 I almost said, except for taxes, well, like, is that even funny? Taxes. Yeah. Would you say it's never OK to be late or it's OK to be late? Oh, except for tax.

22:46 SPEAKER_01 Except for tax. That's where I'm at. I was saying, like, it's never too late to come out and have fun because like Palm Springs is so old. You can go be 70. You're young at 60. So even if you're in your 30s, I think what we would say, because we've just been recently doing this, go out and forget about finding love in a relationship and have fun. Like go to the campgrounds, go to the fucking bathhouse, like go to a big city, like go to the Eagle in Manhattan, go to Toronto and go to Steamworks. Yeah. Go to Chicago like the Eagle in Manhattan is like that's a that's an eye opener. That's a cock opener. So, yeah, I would just say, like, go have fun and explore being gay and being newly out in yourself. You're right. And then you'll find some you'll settle into it.

23:28 SPEAKER_03 But the thing is, is like, again, also, I hate to break it to you. Also, when you do find that person, it's like the movies at first, but literally it'll be about six months and then it's gone. So the person that you're going to find isn't going to be who you think it is. I'm going to say that it's not going to be the hottest. It's not going to be the best sex. I'm going to expect it's really not. It's never it's never. But if you can again, we'll get into that. You got to make it work. The thing is, though, if you notice most successful relationships, yeah, there's something that you're going to probably bring up later that we will get into that. Oh, why certain people, they post. Yeah. Yes. There's something to avoid. There's something to avoid. So anyway, Chris, thank you for writing us. We appreciate it. Don't be afraid to call. OK, OK. Now you've got to flip like a 95 pages. OK, so Palm Springs, huh?

24:17 SPEAKER_01 As you know, I just brought up Palm Springs. We have to talk about it. I've never been. I can't wait to go. I've had even straight friends go and love it. Yeah, everybody loves Palm Springs. Like it's just surrounded by desert. They have sun shine like every day of the year.

24:30 SPEAKER_03 They have green grass, but that's because they're using all the water from the

24:32 SPEAKER_01 Colorado River. And that to me is another problem, a separate issue where I'm like, maybe we don't do that because you're in a fucking desert. And they all have like back green backyard pools. Lush. It's like. Is that the best use of the water or should we be growing crops or something or just like letting animals use the water instead of growing lawns in the desert? Like it's just a waste of time. It is. It's really kind of crazy. But so there was this local gay who lived in Clintonville and he was kind of like a attractive ish daddy who, you know, finally hit 50 something and moved to Palm Springs so he could be young again, because I think that's a common theme in life. Yeah, you hit 55 and people here are like done with you. Like, OK, so you know, Palm Springs, you're young again. You go to Palm Springs or we go to Wilton Manners rebirth. Why do you think all these like country? I don't know. Bathhouse, Porta Potty Gays go down to Wilton Manners all the time because suddenly they're young and attractive down there. You know what I mean? You know, it's just like the trailer park gays love the Wilton Manners. They do. And so the same thing happens with Palm Springs, but you're you have a little more money. You're like, you know what? I'm old. I'm going to go to Palm Springs and be hot. And like I said, I want to go. I'm not insulting, but this guy moved there and every other day he is complaining about the temperature there. He's posting, oh, 111 degrees. Oh, 98 degrees. Oh, 104 degrees. You move to the desert, sweetheart. He shows his thermostat in his house and the temperature says 85 inside. Is it in your death valley? Like, aren't we? Yeah. 85 degrees inside, Bobby. No, it's this is what I'm like. This is where they live. That's their normal temperature in here. 85 because it doesn't cool down. It can't can't keep up. And it's too expensive. Like you spend you'll spend like $400 a month on electricity.

26:22 SPEAKER_03 OK, so and then also like the one big to tell. So they're not even refreshing. You know, I want to visit, but I'm confused. Well, I'm also confused. The fact that like you knew you're moving to a desert. So like why are we having a why are you telling all of us back here in Columbus what your problems are when clearly you made the decision and you either didn't do your research or you're just an idiot and you just want attention.

26:43 SPEAKER_01 And that's why I think that is my common complaint is attention seeking on social media. You'll talk about it in our sundry. We'll talk about our sundry. I have examples. I think you should read a book on this. I mean, it's like bizarre behavior, but it's just normalized now. We're like, oh, yeah, well, they're just posting about their day. It's like, no, they're complaining about absolutely nothing for us to respond to it to go like, babe, why? I mean, oh, my God, it's so hot. I'm sorry you're lonely in the desert like and hot. At least you have a good body. It's like, girl, literally. Hi, gay. But also, what are their clubs like there? So you go to the club and it's 85 degrees in the club. So that's like, I think everybody's shirts are off.

27:22 SPEAKER_03 Cool down. I think I know, but I think at night it goes cold. OK, so it's like you kind of have to just like make it through the day. And then you're like, where's my hoodie?

27:30 SPEAKER_01 Because you would not move at all for the day. We'd be fully nocturnal, like little raccoons.

27:34 SPEAKER_03 Oh, I'd have to be like, oh, my God, I'd have to fans everywhere,

27:38 SPEAKER_01 everywhere at all times. You're just like laying in cryo animation like frozen. Sounds like an absolute disaster. You would not survive. No, you would thrive the nights. You honey, you would throw out one post about it.

27:50 SPEAKER_03 But I tell you, I would come to you. It's hot. Well, man, the weather is hot.

27:54 SPEAKER_01 Phoenix just broke the record 26 days in a row, greater than 110 degrees. People are dying. So it's like why? Once again, there's another town that exists in a desert only because we're like diverting water there and allowing them like the Colorado River is drying up. And we're like, we've got to keep feeding. They're still building houses in Phoenix. What idiot is moving to Phoenix right now?

28:16 SPEAKER_03 You know, they have a lot of they have to and also ironically,

28:18 SPEAKER_01 they have to show that they have water for 50 years, even though it's made up because they're like assuming that they're going to be able to like find water.

28:25 SPEAKER_03 And they also have to have sprinklers in our homes. Is that wild? So you're going to dry water. Yeah, it's like dry, which we do have dry sprinklers, actually.

28:33 SPEAKER_01 That's yeah, those powder powder, baby. It works, honey. It works good. That's old school, though. Or they have these. Yeah.

28:39 SPEAKER_03 Now they have one that'll it'll the head will go off and it'll suck all the oxygen out of the room and you'll die if you don't get out. It has like warnings. And you have to get like computer rooms, like all these Amazon like data centers. Holy fuck. Yeah. They have to protect it. So like it'll suck all that. So like if you're in that room and it starts going off, you have like 20 seconds to get out of the room before it sucks all the oxygen out.

29:01 SPEAKER_01 Yeah. Like I survived the fire, but I died from lack of oxygen.

29:04 SPEAKER_03 Yeah. Somebody died in Ohio and at the that the airport down there by Cincinnati, not the actual airport, but like the it's like a small airport that does a lot of like FedEx and all that kind of shit. One of the phones, whatever, went off a phone system and they drowned in the phone because they didn't get out because it closes all the doors.

29:22 SPEAKER_01 It's like, yeah, that's how I feel at AOL on phone party night. Except I'm covered in cum. Cum only, hopefully. So that's how I feel about Palm Springs. It's like somewhere to visit, but I just don't know what we're doing in this country. I'm like, why are we building houses where it's like unsustainable? Like I would know who's moving there.

29:42 SPEAKER_03 What's really crazy is I was looking at like why I was in Michigan, which I'll get into. OK, I was looking at like land for sale just for fun. Yeah. And like in the U.P., which is way up there. There's like you can buy one hundred and twenty thousand one hundred and twenty acres. That's so much for seventy eight thousand dollars. Or like one hundred and twenty thousand.

30:00 SPEAKER_01 This is the climate that will be the new right now because it'll be hot. You're near freshwater to the big and we need water. So I know telling you this is why I want like Montreal or somewhere. I'm like, I want to kind of go right along it like freshish water.

30:13 SPEAKER_03 We are pretty lucky. I will say we have the most fresh water like no, no, no. We're set. We're literally set. When oil goes dry and water becomes a commodity. Yep. You're going to be thankful you live in this country, honey. We're going to be the new Saudi.

30:25 SPEAKER_01 We really are. Queens, baby. And we have a lot of land that's north that is empty.

30:31 SPEAKER_03 Mm hmm. There's a lot of land here that's so very empty. Yeah, we have a lot of space.

30:34 SPEAKER_01 Look at a hundred million people like this country is massive.

30:37 SPEAKER_03 Yeah. And we decided that, hmm, well, it's just cluster in these little places like in New York City. Now, I got to talk about Michigan. Yeah, like we've really I really need to like I need everyone to hold on to their. OK, yeah, that's the that's the types. Oh, fuck. So me and Michael went to Michigan.

30:56 SPEAKER_01 Sagatuck, Sagatuck. First of all, I hate the way it's spelled. I hate the names, the names in Michigan.

31:02 SPEAKER_03 Like, what's that? But I will say that I was pleasantly surprised when I was actually in Michigan because it's beautiful. Yeah. Now, it's beautiful.

31:12 SPEAKER_01 But don't look at the people. Oh, no. Are all the like Ohio meth cousins up there.

31:18 SPEAKER_03 It's like there's a bunch of machine gun Kelly's and Tanya Harding's running around. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, there's a lot of like I don't want to say it, but like eight mile like Eminem. Oh, no. The movie like but the white people like it's.

31:36 SPEAKER_01 It's just that like 80s, like old fashioned ish. I'm kind of like, you're like, this is outdated.

31:42 SPEAKER_03 It's like they're in there like now they're like in 2002 where like in 2002, they were in 1990s. It's like they're just like behind and I'm like, and they're like, oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, geez. Oh, yeah. I get it. Oh, yeah. I can't. So basically me and Michael went to a campground to start. It's actually really cheap. But there's a reason why we get to the campground. We went to the Indiana Dunes first of all, and I had a hike about God damn down. Never. There's a reason I've been one time. I will never. I even told Michael as I'm at the top of the dune, I said this was good. I don't want to do this anymore. Yeah, I don't. I don't want to go on. This is not fun to me. No, it's not because it's not. It's not fun. But some people really get a hard on for it. I don't. I feel like what we did in Park City is somewhere you're in a car looking out at the mountains. Yeah, I love I don't need to hike. So I'm hiking up this. We could see we could see Chicago, though. That's clear. Yeah, that's cool. Isn't that cash? I just like Chicago. That's cool. So yeah, that was a good deal. We go to camp it, which is like a gay and lesbian and queer. Oh, no. So we are right next to some good old lesbians, which is fine. We didn't even talk to them.

32:56 SPEAKER_01 We ended up they probably thought you were one, remember? Probably New York City. Hey, lesbian. Oh, yeah. I forgot you looked like a lesbian with that hat and that hoodie. Like you really did.

33:06 SPEAKER_03 Lesbian. Lesbian. So we go there. We go there. We go there. We go to the pool one of the days and we're sitting there. And some of these Michigan gays come on in and they do, you know, Caitlin and the the teen mom Jenner. No, the teen mom. No. Oh, have you watched Teen Mom? No. The teen mom couple. I can't remember the guy's name, but that's basically these guys at this pool. I'm literally looking at these guys, they get in the pool. And mind you, I had just had an edible like a little bit earlier. So I was already in like Lala drinking beers, like whatever. They started talking about this, like Miss, I think it was like Misty or like Amanda. It was something like that. Like, yeah, when I first met her, you know, it was like, it was crazy. Like she wasn't really that big into me and all that. And they're going on and on and on. I'm like, OK, they're talking about cats. No, they are talking about their motherfucking cats. And I was in a full blown shock that I decided I was going to narrate a little bit. Oh, my God. And I love this shit. I literally was like, I was like, why?

34:15 SPEAKER_02 So let me see if I can. OK, don't forget that. This is me fucked up. There's a group talking about their fucking cats for about 25 minutes. What's the image? They're still like making noises. One of the cast names was like Porsche or something. And they're still talking about it. And then we have in corner number two, we have the trailer trash, Eminem Gaze who are smoking another vape and in smoking cigs in the corner.

34:53 SPEAKER_03 Totally smoking cigs. In this corner over here we have. So then I was like, I think I tried to record them still talking.

34:58 SPEAKER_01 Ten minutes later, we're still talking about the cat. We have the Eminem gang is now all crowed in the corner. So anyway, these people were going on about Misty or Majestica. I wish I could have fucking been there. We would have died. I was to go to camp. I was really got to go.

35:16 SPEAKER_03 I was on my phone like this talking, I was recording on my recorder. Had you like there's a feature you can record on your know what? Oh, girlfriend. How do you really not know this? No, tell me you got to find it. It's like the little. Oh, do you know? Where is it? Maybe. Oh, there it is. Oh, my God. And then you just go. So what you do is you go, OK, you record.

35:40 SPEAKER_01 I'm fucking recording. No, no, they don't even know. Yeah, babe. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

35:47 SPEAKER_03 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah. And then it saves on your phone, babe. So anyway, so I'm like going on and on. But yes, we should go camping. Well, we need to talk about Atlanta in October. Yes, sir. We're really doing that. Yes, Mama Queen. OK, so anyway. Great. We're talking about Christina Lynn for 45 minutes about how she doesn't like the gays. I'm fucked up. So then I'm like, OK, whatever. So we go to the next day to Lake Michigan with my uncle up in Muskegon. Blah blah blah. Did a boat ride. Fun. We end up at the dunes. Now, let me tell you, Saga Talk is really gay. Well, no, I've read that for several gay area, like hotels. I think it's like P town, like where it's like pretty much every. I mean, every restaurant, everything had a gay flag. Like so you can straight people there like open you. Which are the sons that cruise you met a couple from Plain City. And the guy, the dad was so fucking hot that I almost was like ready to jerk him off on the boat on the sunset cruise. But the wife, of course, that's that's that. She was sweet. She's one of those like they're like one of those couples that used to be hot. And the girl got a little chubby and he's he's a little chubby, too. But like he's so hot, but he's hot.

36:56 SPEAKER_01 I always feel bad for those guys because, you know, like they're like missing their hot wives. Right. Like, you know, they're like, my wife, she's hot. She's like in high school and college.

37:05 SPEAKER_03 And then it's like and not saying being fat isn't hot because look at me, honey. No, there's a way you carry it. Well, it's like this isn't this is hot in a different way. Yeah, it's hot like temperature. Yeah. So then we are. So we're going to some we go see my uncle. We go on the boat choppy. We're both. Now you're in Saga. We go back to Saga Talk. So then we're going. So we went to Muskegon for the day, came back to talk. And we're now we're going to check in out of camp it and check into the dunes. Oh, boy. Now the dunes is another LGBTQ resort, the biggest in the Midwest, which I'm not really saying I don't know if that's saying much. I think it's like the only one. Yeah, I'm not really sure. Out of the resorts. I mean, there's campgrounds, but resorts,

37:44 SPEAKER_01 a.k.a. it has a hotel in a pool. So like, what's exactly resorty about it?

37:49 SPEAKER_03 OK, so it was yeah, it was like it's like a holiday and it's like checking into. Why don't you want to sing the love shack, baby? I don't know what that vibe is. That's why I'm baby. We walk in, the guys like screaming at us. Oh, your room is done here. And that's well, we are in the men's dorm, which sounded great. Oh, that sounds fun. It sounded hot. Right. Shared showers. So hot. Yep. Oh, good. Open shower concept. Everything. The problem is that it's in the basement of the. What? Oh, honey. We had to walk down these stairs. We go into the fucking hallway. I look at Michael and I go, when they say dorms, they mean fucking dorms. It smelled like fucking mildew and must.

38:36 SPEAKER_01 No, no. Like I can't. I can't. Oh, I just had a panic attack. I was like, oh, I'm like, OK. Like cinder blocks.

38:44 SPEAKER_03 What? Yep. Yep. And that legitimate dorm, like legitimate. The bathroom is the bathroom. The shitters don't even have doors. No. You have to literally like move. It's like an old school. Yes. So we go to our room. Why are you in the basement? Well, apparently they were out of like we thought it was like that was like the room. That was like one of the rooms and we didn't know it was like, basically the poor section. So we go from cabin. That's really small, low, low water pressure to now basement musty room. It was probably the size of this room, if not smaller. Actually, it was like this. If you cut right here. Yes. One little full bed in the corner, one little chair over here. I and a little baby fan. Luckily, I brought the tornado because if I didn't bring that tornado, I would have died. No air conditioning. Is that the tornado? Yeah.

39:33 SPEAKER_01 No air conditioning. So there's no flow in our room. None. You're in a basement with no air conditioning.

39:37 SPEAKER_03 Yeah. And I'm like, no air conditioning at night in the summer. No, they had fucking fans in the hallway and shit.

39:43 SPEAKER_01 Oh, it was that's beyond that's literally my dorm. No, that's like my don't my didn't smell that bad. They said dorm. No, but it didn't have air conditioning, but it's that vibe. That like the air. There's no flow. There's no flow meningitis in here. Like I from the showers is like circulating it. Right. I mean, it was I was like, how many nights did you have there? Two. No. And I looked at Michael, I go, are you fucking back into town? I can't. I have to.

40:11 SPEAKER_03 But of course, it's like we just saw the pool, though, and it was kicking. So that's fun. So like kind of like a little like, let's go to the pool. Well, fine. Let's just go to the. Oh, I had to walk to the goddamn store and buy a smelly thing for the room because it smelled so goddamn bad. I almost threw up. Yeah. Oh, it is. And there it is. So the dunes. So, yeah, so that's our we get there and this is what happens. And I go, are you fucking kidding me? You almost threw up that. So literally it was disgusting. I felt like I have all over me to look. I have bug everywhere. Or that might be poison ivy.

40:45 SPEAKER_01 That could be bed bug because it's like almost three in a row. They do breakfast, lunch and dinner. Stop. Look up bed bug bite that. I would check your the shit in your suitcase. We watched. Oh, OK. OK, good. The dryer is what kills them.

41:01 SPEAKER_03 That looks a little OK. I know I'm really fucking creeped out. Yeah. So basically that's where we stayed. So we put on our speedos and we head up to the pool. You can't bring any drinks into the bulls. You have to buy their shit. OK. So we get drunk. La la la. We end up walking to some pizza place because we're fucking hammered. Bubble. We end up going to bed because you know, me on vacations. One time. Yeah.

41:22 SPEAKER_01 Once I'm in the pool. Yeah. Yeah. Is that weird? It's nighttime. Well, you have to go to bed before you realize where you are. So right. You saw black.

41:32 SPEAKER_03 And then I had to hook up my. I was like so gross. Oh, I was like, oh, my God, I'm breathing.

41:35 SPEAKER_01 Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yep. The black mold is just being forced. That's exactly what I was thinking.

41:41 SPEAKER_03 But there is like mold coming into my lungs. And this is not good. So cool. Great. So then the next day we went to soccer talk and we walked around and blah, blah, blah. You look at the shops, which I was trying. I was questioning that as well. Like, why do humans do this? Why does everybody like want to be like, let's go walk the shops. Nobody buys anything. I know.

41:59 SPEAKER_01 But like literally, you just walk around, especially in a touristy town. It's like, oh, more junk. Right. It's like, oh, we go get more. Like, you carve this out of a piece of wood in your basement. This is a magnet made in China with the name of the town on it.

42:10 SPEAKER_03 Right. Wow. Got it. Oh, you're going to serve me some really cool lunch menu. I mean, I can't. Bar food. Wow. Right. So then we go back to the dunes. And this time I'm really fucking turning it up. OK. Good. You need it. So we were dead. Then we go to the bar. There's a there's like five bars at the place. There's a club. It's like really not bad. That part. But like we really didn't see much of that because we were so drunk

42:31 SPEAKER_01 at the goddamn pool because we were drinking their drinks and they're getting. And I have seen Michael drunk during the day.

42:36 SPEAKER_03 It's oh, and you add me with like the edible. It's like it's so we ended up eight p.m. We ended up passing out again. Yeah, we didn't go. Was this on day two? What did you even do there then? We just got drunk on the pool and we did stuff during the day and like saw good talking. So we didn't really like stay at the dunes. We did the dunes like afternoon pool. OK. But like other than that, we weren't like really hanging out the dunes.

42:58 SPEAKER_01 You didn't like even have fun in the dark room or a barn

43:02 SPEAKER_03 or in the woods. Oh, honey, there was a thing called the woods.

43:04 SPEAKER_01 Now, what did you wake up at 1 a.m. and realize, you know, we've been sleeping?

43:07 SPEAKER_03 No, I've driven. I'm sure I'm going to. I jerked off at 1030 a.m. in the woods.

43:12 SPEAKER_01 Honey, these woods I'd be sleeping in like that. Well, maybe not at all.

43:15 SPEAKER_03 Not those. So we didn't know about the woods. So I started talking to people on Scruff. I was like, where what is going on with the trails? They're like the woods. I'm like, OK, yeah, the woods, the fucking woods. When you go to the woods, you need to wear sanitary clothing. Oh, I'm going to cherry. I'm going to show you just like condom wrapper. OK, so ass wipe. Hold on one second. That's why. Yeah. So I had to wipe their ass to get fucked back there. There is litter. So this is the woods. Oh, sick condoms everywhere. It's very seedy. OK.

43:51 SPEAKER_01 Man, not not during that. I can't do that during the day.

43:53 SPEAKER_03 Man, I fucking when I see litter, like I'm talking about litter. There's cum and condoms and condom wrappers everywhere. Oh, I think they're like a clean up crew. This was a butt poop wipe. Yep. Some bottom shit himself and wiped his asshole in the woods. OK. So great. We ended up going back to because I was like, Michael's like, Oh, I want to go in the woods. I go, fine, let's go. I put on my cock ring. We headed out talking to people on Scruff. Well, we got a hit and we got a hit from a really fucking hot daddy. OK, so he's different. He's like very he's Michigan, but he's I would say gnome.

44:31 SPEAKER_01 Looks like a gnome.

44:32 SPEAKER_03 I say he looks like a gnome. OK, he's 55. Well, yeah. And he just came out to like, oh, God bless him. We ended up talking to him. He came out in the woods and we jerked off and blew all three. By that, I mean, we might have a joke. We allegedly hooked up in the woods and blew him, allegedly. And he was like, loving it. Thick cock boys. Oh, because he was.

44:57 SPEAKER_01 It was a big no, but he was never he was fine.

44:59 SPEAKER_03 Well, I mean, they never it's really weird, though. I was actually thinking about that whole concept are not big. Like, what are you wearing at the pool then that makes you speed up? Because I feel like when I'm in a speedo, I'm like flat Ken doll.

45:07 SPEAKER_01 I'm can of I am can of. Oh, is that what it's called? That's from the Barbie movie. Oh, you already saw it. Now I haven't yet. I saw Oppenheimer. We got to talk. Oh, not good. So anyway, that was Michigan. So that was at the very end to the last day.

45:23 SPEAKER_03 In the dark or anything like we were too drunk and fucked up. We had a really good time. We really did. We met some calls. Great. No, we really did. Like we really had a good time. And we ended up doing the woods in the morning. Whatever it is, what it is.

45:34 SPEAKER_01 That is so funny. It's I love this like the opposite of what normally happens. You're like, let's get up at 10 and go to the woods.

45:41 SPEAKER_03 Like the only problem that I have with wood situations. Well, the pictures alone, I but I was like standard. I was like, fuck, that's fine. It was so hard. I did. And then other people are like looking around. So this one guy came on the job. He's like, no, but I know I was like, you just look away. Yeah. Yeah. Then Hawkeye came over and then I don't know what happened. But I know he watched and jerk off to all of us. Oh, yeah. Having as he should. Alleged three way situation. That's fine. It was fun. It was great. Michigan was great. We got drove back in storms all day. I've learned that I can sleep really well in cars now. That's probably the narcolepsy. I hate you. I can't sleep.

46:17 SPEAKER_01 Early planes, cars doesn't matter.

46:18 SPEAKER_03 I slept like almost the whole way, both ways. I had my pillow tucked right here against the wall. You're like my stepson, Nicholas. It's crazy. I was like, this is great. Just keep sleeping because it just goes fast. It does, though. You wake up, you're like, you're like, wow, it's well. I wish I would have known this when I was a kid.

46:33 SPEAKER_01 Like, just get my siblings would do on the way to Florida. And so 17, my sister slept 17 hours once. Honestly, I think she woke up to pee twice. And then the rest of the trip, I'd be like, she's still asleep. Oh, we're in Florida. I'm like, yep.

46:46 SPEAKER_03 And she's like sweating that like that van. Everyone sweats in the car. It's gross. That's the part that I really can't stand about.

46:52 SPEAKER_01 I know you're like, you're like, OK, well, well, that's why if you fly first, you can use the showers in the lounge because you can take a shower.

46:59 SPEAKER_03 Oh, that's true. Your layover. And you've got to you got to learn. But yeah, anyway, that was my trip. That sounds fun. Thank you. OK, I would do that. Yeah. Not the dorm part. Honestly, we should we should go to the dunes. We should go like and stay at Lana Del Taco. Oh, my God. I forgot to talk about her. I need to say one thing. So we kept naming people at the pool and this bitch walks in. OK, think Dylan Levine, like, yeah, I thought it was Dylan. I was like, you're like woman, an umbrella. No, a little dress walking in with these like little like kitty cat 60s sunglasses like to do to do to do. And I'm like, oh, OK. We start calling her Lana Del Rey. And I was like, she's like Lana Del Taco. And so then the next day I was like, I better see Lana Del Taco. What? Oh, then I say that walks in, then Lana Del Taco goes from being in a prim and proper dress to just a speedo and literally just dick. And I'm like, and Lana Del skinny boy dick. Lana Del Taco is like five foot tall and probably 100 pounds soaking wet. Oh, my God. Lana Del Chorizo. Lana Del Chorizo. So anyway, I needed to mention that person.

48:09 SPEAKER_01 So anyway, yeah. So I did have a dream about you and me. It was weird last week. You were gone. And I think it's because you were on a trip. So I had a dream about us on a trip, probably. So I was thinking about it. And I knew also you weren't taking like a full week off. So I felt like, wow, you have a short trip. Yeah. And I was like, I think that's what my dream was about, really. But it was like we were together. We were somewhere abroad having a blast. But our trip was only like a five or six day trip. And I was like, we don't have enough time. No time. And you were sitting on the ground packing and you were like so pensive and just like, it seems like times just keep speeding up, like something depressing like that, where like you were talking about how like quick time goes and in a couple of years I'll be 40. And then time just keeps speeding up and you want it to slow down and you can't get it to stop. A couple of years in a year. Oh, fuck. Well, so yeah. So to me, that dream, I woke up, I was like, oh, my God. Did you see a clock or you just felt time was. Well, there was a clock in the room.

49:10 SPEAKER_03 So there's some very interesting things that I researched today. For example, I just spilled. Did you? It's fine. This room is the best studio you can think of. It's like the dorm clocks going out of control, symbolize unresolved fears and anxieties. So like it was kind of out of control. But yeah, it also said when you dream about your friend, it reflects aspects of your own personality and inner life. Friends appearing in dreams are often symbolic, representing symbolic representations rather than literal interpretations. Seeing a friend in a dream can signify neglect or underdeveloped traits in yourself. Different friends and dreams represent different things. So, yeah. So I don't know, maybe you need to look into your own because then like dreaming about time is like, like you said, it's like you're running out of time running out of time or maybe I'm running out of time. Tick tock, bitch. Maybe maybe maybe there's some things running out of time. I'm not actually a fan. Oh, that was dark. That was really dark. I'm dark.

50:08 SPEAKER_01 I'm very dark. Speaking of dark, yesterday I saw Oppenheimer and it sticks with you like it's a problem. It's a problem. I can't stop thinking about it. Really? Yeah, it's bad. It's very, very dark or something or very depressing.

50:22 SPEAKER_03 It's about the atomic bomb, right? Do you know that came in? Yeah. Like right where Franklin is that that's where they built it.

50:29 SPEAKER_01 No, it was in Los Alamos. No, it came through here on the railroad. Oh, yeah, it came through. Yes. They didn't build it here, though.

50:36 SPEAKER_03 But they did something here with it.

50:37 SPEAKER_01 Like every place had like a thing that they add to it. Maybe probably. I mean, it makes sense. They want to all one place.

50:43 SPEAKER_03 We put an Ohio sticker on that bitch and send her on our way. Here come the Japanese. So it really, really, really stuck with you.

50:50 SPEAKER_01 No, it's Christopher Nolan directing it. So, you know, it's going to be dramatic and good. And it was like it hits home. Oh, yeah.

50:57 SPEAKER_03 By the end, you're just like, oh, yeah. It's really weird when you look back at history and you realize that we're not good people. No, no.

51:04 SPEAKER_01 Like literally, your great grandfather was a piece of shit. You're like, what are we really doing? And now you think about AI and you're like, what's our goal? Why are we doing this? Like, what's the goal with AI? Is it to maximize profits for capitalists? Like, yeah, of course, that's it. Here's the thing, though. What is it?

51:18 SPEAKER_03 How's it helping us? Maybe I can save us from the climate problem, though. Maybe the solution to fucking build a fucking we need to look to build another ozone layer or something.

51:26 SPEAKER_01 I would like come up with a solution and be like, the solution is to kill all humans. Unfortunately, I'm only good from a 20, 20. If we kill you all now, you'll stop polluting the earth. Honestly, like literally, we deserve it.

51:39 SPEAKER_03 I'm ready for a second Noah's Ark. Well, we just got to ask God. OK, speaking of God. Well, speaking of me. You're not. I just have one last little thing I need to say. Oh, I wrote my look, my notes. I'm fat.

51:56 SPEAKER_01 I'm fat. Did you just have this revelation or like why? No, I think because I was at the Dunes and I was like, OK, so you're looking around. So you were around Machine Gun Kelly types. Yeah, the skinny ones. There's also fat bear week at P town.

52:09 SPEAKER_03 See, that's the thing. I realized that I can't go to any gay event. No, it's not bear specific. Like we got to go back to Cannonball. But I brought up a good point with that saying, like, OK, I'm not fat enough for that, though. You're not. So I really just feel like and this is me being dramatic, probably, and just being like, oh, feel bad for me. This is me doing my Facebook post. So feel bad for me. But like, I feel like I don't fit in anywhere for any body type. And I'm a novelty if you do like me and if you don't like me.

52:37 SPEAKER_01 Actually, yeah, it's really tough. Like you really don't like even I always think like what things I like want you to do with me, like a place is to go. Like I want Bob to come here. And then I'm like, I flashback to going to jinx. And it's like, is the seat going to be big enough? No. Is the ceiling tall enough? My life is like literally is there going to be even bars? I'm like, he should come here. And I'm like, it's too crowded. No, like that's like art. Like he won't like it.

53:01 SPEAKER_03 Barb over there. Charbar. Yeah. Oh, you can't even I know. I hate that going in there. I'm like, oh, my God, you can't.

53:06 SPEAKER_01 Tight. Yeah. It's not why it's not good. And so then even trips, I'm like in Italy, like I was thinking, I was like, Bobby, would know. I know. That's why I'm scared to go abroad. Bobby would hate this. It's like a skinny little alley. If to walk down to get to the beach and it would just make me feel this way. Oh, my God. Yeah. And then you'd be around people in Europe. And I'm very insecure.

53:25 SPEAKER_03 Everyone's skinny in Europe. So then I'm like, they all think I'm a fat. I'm like, watch out, fat ass coming through, because remember I said, laugh with them, not let them my life out. Yeah.

53:35 SPEAKER_01 So you better laugh with them or they're going to keep laughing at you.

53:39 SPEAKER_03 And honestly, so so you feel. But then you feel like I got the last laugh because I had hot daddy come out to the woods and give me a little little so there you go. So it's like it's fine. But it's just I did have that revelation of a mum where I was like, am I just? But then also you see the skinny ones, they look miserable. So it's like a very trust me.

53:56 SPEAKER_01 Catch. Oh, you're skinny. Now that I'm skinny, I can tell you it's miserable. It's not miserable. It's like I'm actually a fan. Any time I might throw up, I have the worst heartburn. Like, it's not worth it.

54:07 SPEAKER_03 I think it's going to be worth it because I was like the whole time I was like, I need to go with Gove and then we pass like whole med spas in downtown. So I could talk to you. Shookie, Shookie.

54:15 SPEAKER_01 And I was like, I'm just going to get it now. You're so dramatic. I love that.

54:18 SPEAKER_03 It was so bad. I'm going to fucking get it now. And then, of course, of course, at the dunes, you know, you're in your dorm room. And they have a mirror, of course, right there, because all gays want to look at themselves, fuck or whatever. Apparently. Is that true? No. But like, that's I mean, is that why I got the mirror in my bedroom? I don't know. There's a mirror and I'm like, it's a side view mirror, though. And I'm like, oh, no. So every time I looked over to my right, I saw my head.

54:40 SPEAKER_01 I forbid you bend over to get a sock and you look over when you do. You know, the worst thing in the world for me is seeing your ass. No bending over like the side view. So if I'm at the beach, I actually like pick up my towel and cover my torso before I bend over all the time. Oh, my God. I actually think I've noticed you do that. I can not. And I try to suck in, but it doesn't work because everything just moves up and the tits get fatter. Once I start drinking beer to nothing. Honey, it's all sticking out. So I want you to think of it the next time you bending over in front of people like.

55:11 SPEAKER_03 No, I've actually seen you do this. Like, I know exactly because every time you leave the pool, you do like kind of wrap up like a little like a little like a. But you.

55:20 SPEAKER_01 Oh. But you still. The problem is, you it's just like the blanket on the couch. Like you still look big bending over with a towel wrap around you because it just makes it bigger and highlights. But I think in my head, I'm like, I'm hiding like my belly. I'm like, I'm like, I'm just so tiny and like, I'm just tight and tight. But like I and I always look like when other people on the beach have been over to pick things up, I look and I'm like, oh, so we're all. That's how you know if someone's really skinny or not, if they can bend over and their stomach stays the same. But most people can't. So it's right. And all right. And honestly, is it worth it? You like getting high? There are so you like getting high and eating ice cream. I like that. That gives me joy. That gives you more joy than being skinny. It's worth it.

56:05 SPEAKER_03 Well, because I look around and I see the skinnies and like, you're still ugly, though. So it's like I don't really.

56:10 SPEAKER_01 I was telling my boyfriend about this. I was like, Joey, listen, you either have the body or the face. Very few people have both. Most have neither. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But there are so many Columbus gays who are riding on their body right now. Oh, the other thought I've had is, you know, especially at our age, we're looking at these guys. I'm like, oh, he's cute. Now, the thing is, is he cute or is he young? Yeah, he's just cute or is he young? Because there's a lot of like 25 year olds and I'm like, he's cute. And then I'm like looking closer, just because he has a young body, his young, young, young face. Give him three years and he will look horrid when that ball sack is weathered

56:44 SPEAKER_03 like the rest of ours. When that hole can stretch out like a rubber band, when you look at yourself in the mirror and you think, oh, my God, what the fuck is happening? Yeah, that's you're not cute. You're just young. You're young. So embrace it.

56:56 SPEAKER_01 Really, there's a lot of young people that think they're cute. There's a lot of good bodies that are actually like bad faces. There's a lot of bad faces that have a good body. And they're trying to go on that. But it's really interesting.

57:07 SPEAKER_03 It's not worth it because I used to think the same way. They're like, I'm young. Like, it's no, we were novel.

57:12 SPEAKER_01 But I like to the 35 year old plus the 40 year olds, especially. I would go into access and just start dancing with a dad, a 40 year old dad. And he'd be like, oh, yeah. Going like, hey, guys, we're like, oh, this young guy.

57:23 SPEAKER_03 It is a weird transition. Like I will say that I'm sure a lot of you that listen are probably in our age range, but like it really is weird to have this little transition that we're in right now where it's like we're not young. We're not old. We're sort of just like in the transition mode. Yeah, like I'm kind of a daddy and I'm ready to embrace it.

57:39 SPEAKER_01 Yeah, I think you need to. It's time. I can be a fat daddy. Yeah, I want to be skinny. Well, you just had a realization.

57:48 SPEAKER_03 I know. OK. But I still want to be skinny. OK. You know, so Bible study of the week, because we bring this back for Aubrey. Yeah. Who called last week, she said she really liked it.

57:58 SPEAKER_01 So I found one now. Now, therefore, kill every male among the little ones and kill every woman who has known man intimately. But all the girls who have not known man intimately spare for yourselves.

58:14 SPEAKER_03 This was God speaking to probably the Hebrews. Well, yeah, I was like, this is right here somewhere. But giving the Israelites during their conquest to the the Midianite people.

58:25 SPEAKER_01 So basically saying, well, kill the men, kill the women who've already are not virgins, not virgins, fuck the girls, though, because they're virgins. That's what God said to the Israelites. Go ahead and fuck the girls. They're virgins and kill and kill everyone else. Just go ahead and kill. What if I started doing this and was like, God's telling me to do this? This is where we would lock me up because I'm a crazy person. But that's what I don't understand. The Christians read this and they're like, this is the word of the Lord.

58:53 SPEAKER_03 They'll read this. I'll go. Well, I'm not the new test. It's not the new test. Then they'll go to fucking Deuteronomy.

58:58 SPEAKER_01 It's like, yeah, gay, gay people in the Old Testament.

59:02 SPEAKER_03 It says, no, we're not allowed. It's very serious to me. If you call yourself a Christian and that's OK. I need you to be reading the Bible. Yeah, like directly, like read this and tell me it's one thing to say. I'm going to be saved or, oh, I believe in God. So my life. No.

59:19 SPEAKER_01 Do you have you read the goddamn book? Read the actual book because it's more horrifying than you realize.

59:23 SPEAKER_03 You want to ban books, bitch. That's the one I'd be banning right away.

59:28 SPEAKER_01 Anyway, sundries, sundries. I would like you to pull up. Oh, yeah. Most recent text messages I sent you. There is one Columbus couple who are particularly bad at this. Where they post each other and then repost each other. So that's one post. OK, and then look at the next photo. I hate repost. But now at the bottom, there's a caption. Oh, no. Next one's. OK, there's this one. Dinner with my forever bill. Next photo. Every moment with this amazing man gives me butterflies. Dinner with my man. Sorry, I'm this right here. I know. I know. I know. I'm sorry. It's not. It's I know. I need to get that side. It's goblini type. You're cute, but bad. This is not dumb. And this is every other day. It's a post of like my man. Dinner with my boo. My forever boo. My fiance, my husband. One will post and then the other one repost screenshots. Reposts it and then adds a caption about also how they're theirs. OK, so this is a very unhealthy psychotic relationship. We've looked it up. I've actually looked into this. There's a study. If you are posting about your other, your person constantly or, you know, even once a week, it's too much. There's a sign of trouble in the relationship. You need to look inside yourself.

01:00:59 SPEAKER_03 Justifying every move. And we love each other and like your friends like we saw you last week. We can punch each other right at the bar. That's usually it's a wall. So that's usually what happens.

01:01:08 SPEAKER_01 Yep, we did. We witnessed the couple fighting at AWOL. They arrived fine. One got shirtless, one didn't. Then they get a little drunk and they have a fight. You fucking ate me. You fucking ate me.

01:01:17 SPEAKER_03 And then three days later, my best friend. My boo. Dinner with my boo. I don't like the whole like screenshot repick.

01:01:23 SPEAKER_01 I think that is fucking creepy. And then but especially the caption on top of it.

01:01:28 SPEAKER_03 Yeah, and they're like, yeah, baby. Like they're talking to each other. Like it's a text message to each other. It's a text to each other through Instagram. But just to show everybody else that they're happy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That honestly, I will say this right now. That is so.

01:01:41 SPEAKER_01 Wow. Cringe. Oh my God. The word is cringe. It's constant cringe for me. I like looking I'm like, I need to like see if other couples do this right now. Like I'm like ready to open my eyes. There's a lot of other ones. Are you fucking kidding me? I may or may not start screenshotting all of them. Please do it because I need to know.

01:01:58 SPEAKER_03 This right here, this behavior, you really should. I'm not even kidding you. The stuff you've brought up in sundries and the stuff you brought up, it's all. There's a lot of social media slash etiquette. I think you should need to come out with an etiquette book. I really, really do. That's a good idea. Like a little bathroom etiquette book. How do you do this? Yeah, we do not repost. I think it actually do not call your man or your woman. And like all the time when you're possessive over your or a person, that means you're so with yourself and they give you all your validation. So really, what you need to do is look at yourself in the mirror and stop posting about your goddamn motherfucking stupid ass ugly fucking boyfriend that nobody even wants to talk to anyway.

01:02:39 SPEAKER_01 Good Lord, I love I'm not actually a fan. I just feel like, yes, the possessiveness to me, it's like, how is a person yours? That doesn't make sense. You can be in a relationship with someone, but they're never yours. When you don't control them. Yeah, no, you can't claim a person. That person might find someone else attractive and leave you. They will. That's their right. They will, because they're a full human.

01:02:59 SPEAKER_03 They're not just your husband, because what's going to happen is then you're going to keep saying my my my and they're going to go, oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. Somebody's going to wake up in the relationship. One of the two. Someone wakes up and is like, oh, this is like, I don't want to be that. I don't want to be that person. So then it's like a whole oh my God. Yeah. And these are the same ones. And I'm going to go right into my sundry because I feel like it just kind of blends right in. What's your sundry? There's a new trend at pools, at gay pools, but specifically, like I just need to talk about this in general. Oh, no. And I'm really sorry this offends anybody. Like, honestly, do your thing. But I hate thongs. I think wearing thongs and men wearing thongs is absolutely the most unattractive way to show your ass in my entire life. Yeah. Like I want to see you in a jockstrap. That is totally different. I don't want much up your asshole rubbing on your just rubbing on your poop. Right. I don't. I mean, there are people at the pools at the dunes wearing this shit. I'm like, and laying on a raft like I'm like, your whole is probably so. Also, I thought of something rubbing against my whole like, right. Like all already trying to start a fire like I just is a thong. Like, why would you wear it? They don't want panty lines, right? Is that what it is? Oh, that's why girls. Yes, because they still have to cover their puss hole. They're all I'd rather cover my asshole than my puss hole. I feel like I feel like your asshole needs to be covered more than your puss hole. I don't know. Like snail trail is a real thing.

01:04:18 SPEAKER_01 Snail trail is a real thing. So I feel like women do occasionally have random discharge days where like a little bit of mucus is like, and so they don't want that white, crusty, sticky, dried cum look on the inside of their jeans. So women like to cover the women like to cover the puss.

01:04:35 SPEAKER_03 Well, they need to cover the hole in the puss. And men, I just don't roast in their own way because they don't know how to wipe. Right. Literally. We're literally in the woods wiping our ass with wet wipes.

01:04:44 SPEAKER_01 I am going to throw up that fucking picture. I love that you took a picture of a poopy wipe on the floor of the woods. And you're just like, we had so much fun jerking off in the woods. It was so cool. There was a poop wipe down there.

01:04:56 SPEAKER_03 Fuck. It's just part of it. It's like it feels like we're in the 80s. Like, it's just so everyone like, I guess, like really the PSA of the week.

01:05:05 SPEAKER_01 So is it thongs or is it people? Like, what's the problem?

01:05:07 SPEAKER_03 I think we both. And honestly, I swear to Christ, it's those people that are posting these pictures that are wearing the goddamn thongs.

01:05:14 SPEAKER_01 No, that that little twink one is for sure. He wears thongs. Absolutely. He's like, honey, honey, my thongs on. I was like, your fiance's in here waiting for you. Oh, honey, you want to come get this boy pussy? I'll come get my pussy. Oh, my pussy's so wet for you, Daddy. Oh, it's so tight. Pull that thong aside and no, no, no, no. Yeah, it's like, yeah, like if I was that, no, no. Oh, my. How long have I been in there? It's crushed. It's crusted to the wall of your inner cheeks. I can't like you sweat in it all day.

01:05:46 SPEAKER_03 And then it's like, if you want to turn me on. And this goes for some of you that listen that are not going to do it.

01:05:52 SPEAKER_01 Put on your jock strap, babe. Yeah. Do not put on the phone. If I'm going to get a stinky hole, I want it to be free from fabric.

01:05:58 SPEAKER_03 If I'm going to get a stinky hole. Yeah, I don't want it blocked and just like more festered.

01:06:02 SPEAKER_01 I need to air out. Right. It does need to air out in a jock air out.

01:06:05 SPEAKER_03 Airs out. OK, I like that. That whole lot. OK. Yeah. So anyway, call us six one four seven two one five three six. We are the best podcast in the world in the whole entire world. And remember to always.

01:06:17 SPEAKER_01 Oh, here's your PSA. Yes. I want you to read it. OK. Remember to always put off today what you can stress about tomorrow. Procrastination is the key to success.

01:06:25 SPEAKER_03 And that's what we want you guys to know. And that's what we're going to end with. So thank you very much for joining us. Thank you. Thank you. Make sure you call in the for real, because we do like the emails and calls.

01:06:35 SPEAKER_01 Like we really help. We're loving it. We can get a call from Aubrey about snail trail. Is it real? Aubrey call Aubrey or any woman really?

01:06:44 SPEAKER_03 And you need to know about snail trail. Real. I'm going to throw that. I got to be real. I got to go. Like I'm going to throw off. Whoa. Like, whoa.