He Literally Has Margarita In His Lungs Right Now (Mid-Life Crisis, Fantasy, Duck Anatomy & Sex)

Unknown: 0:00

I don't know why everybody is so afraid to admit if their dick is tiny I'm sorry their Peter like bitch my Peters puny, puny. I mean, we're talking small. I'm not ashamed. It's not my fault. Okay, I've said it before I've to any belly buttons. Men literally take my pants off and it's a mix of emotions like Groundhog's Day, oh, six more weeks of winter and then men will not be like, are you verse in reverse is a little more like it? Welcome.

Bobby: 0:29

She's Not Doing So Well. Comedy podcast featuring Bobby. I don't want to be viral. I want to be inspirational and life changing. Because Listen, I'm at GE

Jim: 0:43

gym at the top. What can I say? Finally he's just like you can unfollow me if you don't like my body.

The Miz: 0:50

Oh my God tell me all about a

Unknown: 0:53

new york right?

The Miz: 0:55

But you like it mushroom shape?

Jim: 1:00

Can you just shut the fuck up and start?

Bobby: 1:05

Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of She's Not Doing So Well. I'm Bobby. I'm Jim.

Unknown: 1:09

And I'm the men's.

Bobby: 1:11

Thank you for coming. golf clap for that.

Unknown: 1:15

blog.

Bobby: 1:17

The applause applause applause I'm bringing the heat today I'm going to be my full

The Miz: 1:22

Can I just be the first one to say that I don't give a rat's ass but her fucking dogs.

Jim: 1:27

I mean, that person who found them tied to like a poll got a half million dollars to find them. But I mean, did he find them or did he steal them? Right and shoot the dog walker in the chest for

Bobby: 1:38

why didn't you go on the hunt? Were they in New York or no, it was a

Unknown: 1:40

California Hollywood.

Bobby: 1:42

I don't want that make sense. It makes sense.

Jim: 1:43

We've been there.

Bobby: 1:44

We're near Mickey's and Abby.

Jim: 1:46

Probably near that. Theater. Remember how trashy that street was? Yeah, that was the walk of fame or what I was like. Yeah, I

The Miz: 1:54

went to go see Mariah Carey star. Oh,

Bobby: 1:55

but isn't it like trashes fog? Really bad mall from the 80s you're like,

The Miz: 2:01

hollywood shit. We cool part.

Bobby: 2:04

Yeah, I mean, the minute you leave, we hear that you're like,

Unknown: 2:06

oh, you're like, Oh, this

Bobby: 2:08

is like whatever you talk. This is the paramount. Like, this is the fucking theater. Hmm.

Jim: 2:13

The Chinese Theater.

Bobby: 2:14

I'm like, Why do these celebrities come here? Because it's trash.

The Miz: 2:18

talking trash.

Bobby: 2:19

But what can you do you know what I mean?

Jim: 2:21

We're from Columbus.

Unknown: 2:22

We're from Columbus. This is trash.

Bobby: 2:26

Nobody really was I was like, I'm from New York. So

Jim: 2:29

if an elbow comes up to you, like you have to leave the place like an Elmo should never walk up to you and ask for a picture.

The Miz: 2:36

Never tamper where all the time?

Bobby: 2:37

Yeah, Jim. I wanted to start with you this week. I'm trying to mix up the Oh my god, or like what's going on with you? What's new in your life? Like what's happening? What are you questioning? Because I can tell you just really quick. minds of doozy like I'm fully out of my body like psychotic.

Unknown: 2:56

Wait, wait, what's happening? When I talk?

Jim: 2:59

Are you talking about me? Are you talking about yourself?

Bobby: 3:02

I'm talking to myself. Like I'm literally having a moment and I

Jim: 3:04

just went into a moment and was like, Oh, he

Bobby: 3:06

was basically talking about myself without trying to talk myself. And now we're still talking about me. So what

The Miz: 3:12

are you going first?

Bobby: 3:15

You're going for I want you to first

Jim: 3:16

what I am doing two things. peloton. Hmm, so this happened. I started doing the peloton. I was like I'm gonna do it every day. So the little woman on the screen was like the lower you put it, the more you engage your core, the lower he put the handlebars so I put them pretty low. I was like let's do this. Let's

Unknown: 3:36

move on to engage. Engage.

Jim: 3:39

Okay, four days into it. I had right upper quadrant pain and i know i right. Right upper.

Unknown: 3:46

That's where I got my Yes. Okay. And that's what I was really, you fatty liver.

Jim: 3:50

We talked about it. I was like I have a fat liver. I'm like Bobby I have a fat liver. And so then I was like, isn't my gallbladder so I went and got lab work done to She's so good. This sounds crazy. This is sad that I'm eating this but I literally after four days on the peloton was like, Oh, I have a liver disease. I have to go get my liver tested. It was normal.

The Miz: 4:16

On the peloton, you're literally in the hospital

Jim: 4:19

I'm in I'm like, I have to get blood drawn now. I texted my doctor I was like send the labs

Unknown: 4:24

doctor. I'm sick. I

Bobby: 4:26

think it's really fun to

Jim: 4:27

be fine. And I'm like,

Unknown: 4:28

Ah,

Bobby: 4:29

there's literally three of us. I have two of you don't want to admit it.

Unknown: 4:35

But yeah, yeah, a

Bobby: 4:36

little bit. You're like making fun of us for having our fears like oh my god, we've we've done this before. Yeah, and now he's done it again.

Jim: 4:43

As they were doing the blood. I thought of you too. I was like they would do this. They would do this so I don't feel

Unknown: 4:49

badly. No. Okay,

Jim: 4:51

yeah, back on the peloton. I just had the handlebars up about to my shoulder level. So you're like strange, I'm not engaging my core

Bobby: 4:59

slowly engaged. Gentlemen, I don't want to go from zero when that's what happened.

Jim: 5:05

Listen to him He's a professional. A peloton. Professional. I

The Miz: 5:09

have not peloton at all. I hope not working out last week was interesting. It

Unknown: 5:15

wasn't a week tell it was

The Miz: 5:17

it was a lot of work this week. Just a lot of stuff going season if the season. Season. Tis the season. I'm sorry. It was national Margarita day on Monday. So huge. That was huge. Thank you. Thank you.

Unknown: 5:38

Thank you.

The Miz: 5:39

Thank you. And that was great. Because I got to get one. Alamitos? No, I have not been to rebury been two weeks, but I'm gonna do it now then. I would need to order one. I don't even know myself on one. You're

Bobby: 5:58

not ordering one.

Jim: 6:00

We're not allowed to have our phones out. dro already, Bobby said oh,

The Miz: 6:03

I think the only applies to you. Oh, okay. But I feel like you know what, though, and then I saw I kept the Margarita train running all week. So

Bobby: 6:18

trains running. What does that mean? That means you're getting fucked by multiples. Well,

The Miz: 6:26

I'm not. I'm really not. And you know why? It's because I'm in a vicious cycle of drinking Margarita too often, which I've always done and then becoming facts and not working them off. So your boy is disgusting right now. And I also have not done laundry in like three days. Three days past when I needed to. I

Bobby: 6:44

hate fucking laundry. I hate laundry. Like,

Jim: 6:47

I'm wearing briefs for laundry. I'm wearing briefs because I haven't done laundry. I'm literally like, I feel like I'm wearing I don't even I feel like I don't know. Like Am I gonna have sex right now? I

Bobby: 6:56

don't know why I'm wearing this but I don't have a hot sexy like underwear.

Jim: 7:00

Like I feel my thighs right here. My underwear. Oh.

Bobby: 7:04

I should have sent you underwear instead of fucking phone. Yeah,

The Miz: 7:06

you should have sent me underwear with detergent in the sink

Bobby: 7:12

and like washed that. The problem with you is you don't have that. That's the thing that sucks about are you in Europe? No, he doesn't have laundry.

The Miz: 7:20

Oh, dang, I have to go to your laundromat. Are you kidding me? I'd bring it to Washington fold. Oh, they

Bobby: 7:26

do. They do it for you? Yeah, my Oh, I need a wash and fold

The Miz: 7:30

sitting in a laundromat because I don't fold any

Bobby: 7:34

way it comes folded.

The Miz: 7:35

Yeah, you drop it off in a bag. They fold it put it in the back for you. Or they wash it in the fold. Oh, I

Bobby: 7:39

need that to be a local thing like a little van that

Jim: 7:42

you're married to a doctor. You could have this. Oh, I'm married. My mom did it for a while.

Unknown: 7:48

Ah,

Jim: 7:49

no, she really did when we were kids. When she felt lazy and we didn't have a washer and dryer. She sent it to the Washington fold. They would return it full wash and fold baby.

Bobby: 7:59

I hate folding. Folding to me. Makes me sweat. Like I get sweaty. I get nasty like I can't I get like sick. I'm like

Jim: 8:06

I don't feel good. Michaels just finished folding. I'm gonna get anxious about it. Yeah, I can't hold hands like packing to me. It's like I can't Oh, I

Unknown: 8:14

hate packing.

Jim: 8:15

I can't pack. Well, we

Unknown: 8:17

hate that. I can't think about it so bad. Oh, honey, and you got to pack soon. Oh, where am I going? I don't know. Where are you going? Are you going? No. I was like, Are you telling me something? You're leaving? We're packing your bags gay. And that's the more you know a gym The only thing you do know which is you're packing your bags and take your shit. At least you're going Oh. Oh,

The Miz: 8:48

no, Jim Shut the fuck up.

Jim: 8:50

So we didn't talk about how Margarita day wasn't on Taco Tuesday. But anyways, ya know?

Unknown: 8:56

I thought it was

The Miz: 8:57

no everyday is a taco Tuesday February 22 it's not it's not a day of the week. It's whenever February 22 fall well

Jim: 9:05

earlier today I wrote February 29. And I didn't realize it until about two hours later. So only 27 that's where we're at there is no 29 but I wrote it you write it and walk away. Oh, why are you I'm not gonna say why did I write it cuz I'm an idiot.

Bobby: 9:24

Wow you're stupid and you're making fun of me for being stupid. Cable actually think it's really funny that this is like karma coming back and fucking biting you because you make fun of me about the medical shit and then you make fun about my rice table bitch You stupid and you hypochondriac yourself

Unknown: 9:40

and you'll have dementia soon I will I will.

Jim: 9:44

Probably

Bobby: 9:44

both well So Ms. You did the Margarita thing you run wrote like rode the train.

The Miz: 9:51

really had nothing going on this week is really

Bobby: 9:54

bad. So I guess it's me that has everything fucking going in all I

Jim: 9:56

wanted to say that earlier and then Bobby yelled at me. But look

Unknown: 9:59

what you came come up with something that was legit something it was sad.

Bobby: 10:02

Yeah, guess what everybody can see everybody says everybody's sad everybody's fucking miserable. So fucking talk about it so we can move on. I guess I'll go because shit to say. PS when you laugh like that Ms. It sounds like an Ranga Tang. Tang again. I prefer gorilla if you're gonna fucking call me a monkey

Unknown: 10:31

Oh well, apes they're not stupid I was at a rice table I

Jim: 10:36

majored in anthropology they're both apes

The Miz: 10:38

was long dead huge, ugly, I don't really care which one you select.

Bobby: 10:43

Anyway, I'm gonna move on from this. So speaking of just like being an ape and funky and being monkeys and evolution, and just like literally everything I'm having a fucking midlife crisis. It's official.

Jim: 10:57

It's happening. Well, is it? Why did I trigger it when I sent the 36 is like, yeah, everyone's favorite. Oh,

Bobby: 11:07

it wasn't even the trigger. It was like the icing. It was like I was already thinking it. And then you're like, oh, by the way, this is your best live your best time of your life. So enjoy. And I'm like,

Jim: 11:15

oh, and it's already like, almost halfway.

Bobby: 11:17

I'm having a moment. Like I literally looked at Manhattan condos to buy which PS I mean, I don't know how people live there. Because you literally get like a box for a million dollars. It's like literally you can have like maybe 1000 square feet for half a million. That's it. Yeah, it's bad. So there's so come. Oh, well. And that's the thing. So I've been like living this fake life in my head, like, well, maybe I'll move to New York. And maybe I'll, I'll you know, do all this stuff. So I'm thinking like, I'm in my head going, oh my god. I'll never be able to get back to being able to dream about moving to a city and starting over to an age where it's like you,

Jim: 11:54

you get too old. You're tired.

Bobby: 11:56

When you get to my age, as you'll see when we go to New York like people be like,

Jim: 11:59

No, daddy, no one's gonna hire a 40 year old either. Like,

The Miz: 12:01

why don't you just define that?

Bobby: 12:06

You control and I am and people do and I am defying it. I'm gonna be I mean, it's just it's freaking me out. And so then I was driving to work. And here's like another like, kind of existential like, out of body experience, potentially. So

Unknown: 12:20

out of this body, this

Bobby: 12:22

body honey, there's a lot going on body experience, like, No, but I was happy. So I'm driving to work. It was actually just Friday morning. It was the full moon was me that night. So I was already like, kind of a full moon. And it was sitting over the city. And I'm driving towards the moon. I'm like, this is really pretty like, but then I'm thinking to myself, What the fuck are we? Like? We are literally just spinning and now thinking how the sun reflects off the moon. That's why the moon's lit. And I'm like, so the sun's going up in the east, the moon setting in the West. We're just on this big rock spinning around. What is the fucking point? What are we doing? Like? How do we even get to this point where I'm driving on a road? Like what's a road? Do you see me saying your

Unknown: 13:04

fuck is a road? road?

Bobby: 13:11

No, but like, thinking like, oh, okay, well, how did we come up with ring lights? And how do we have microphones? Like who? Like? Who the fuck are we? Do you know what I'm saying? Like,

The Miz: 13:20

yeah, really fun. It's just continuous evolution of the human race.

Bobby: 13:25

How incredible. How could you really, really, really, really think about it.

Jim: 13:29

I thought you were gonna say Helen Keller started. Not tonight.

The Miz: 13:35

With cavemen doing nothing. And now it's

Bobby: 13:40

like, well, and it used to be like, you survive by eating and like you it was survival and then we turn it into a game. And now we just don't eat for fun because its

Jim: 13:48

bodies still feel ready to be in fight or flight all the time, like survival mode. So like we haven't have I don't feel like our senses have gotten to this point yet where we can just relax and chill. We have all the food we need in this country like we are

The Miz: 14:03

around us now. We're not chill,

Jim: 14:05

like we are a fucking mess. Listen, I thought I was in liver failure because I wrote a stationary bike for four days. Okay, like we should have gotten past this, but we haven't.

Bobby: 14:18

So our minds are not evolved. But our are. Well, our mental health hasn't evolved. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. But that's because when you're a caveman, you really had the flight or

Jim: 14:29

fight or flight. You had a pain you had to pay attention. Or you would Yeah.

Bobby: 14:33

Wow. Or you would just die.

Unknown: 14:35

Or you would have to stop there. Yeah,

The Miz: 14:37

that's the thing. You would have no idea,

Unknown: 14:39

though that you died.

Jim: 14:41

No. And you still don't no

The Miz: 14:42

one knows that they die

Jim: 14:43

the day after you die. You don't realize it here.

The Miz: 14:45

No one knows that they're dead.

Bobby: 14:47

What if Jesus scoops me up and raises me up on eagle's wings and so raise you up on? But anyway, so this is my crisis right now. And also this also was spurred so the third six year old fucking thing you sent me the mon

Unknown: 15:02

tell

Jim: 15:02

them what that was. It was like a survey all Americans took to say like what is the ideal age and all Americans combined said 36 Bobby is like 36 and a half. I'm like April 25. It's not too hot. It's

Bobby: 15:14

not too cold. It's the perfect day.

Jim: 15:16

Wait, are you gonna be 37 in April?

Bobby: 15:19

No, August. I was

Jim: 15:20

like your birthday? No,

Bobby: 15:21

that's a joke from Miss Congeniality. What's your perfect? Do you have a date and she's like, April 25. So anyway, that didn't follow that and land. That's why I'm not seeing a copy of her old. So speaking of that, so all this stuff is coming full circle the moons looking at me, you're telling me 36 is my best age. And then I watch a tick tock, and it's these college girls, which is fine. These college girls talking shit about low cut socks and skinny jeans. And so he would ask them like, who would you rather date a guy with skinny jeans or a guy with low cut socks and girls like neither? Okay. Okay, now I know I'm not

The Miz: 15:56

going to elaborate on why this contributed to you?

Bobby: 16:00

Because it made me realize that I no longer know what is going on. Yeah, I love short cut socks. Like I do not wear long socks. I hate I love my skinny jeans. I finally fucking feel like I look good enough. And here we are now and then I got even more pissed. Sorry, I'm going on a rant I told you it was gonna be I warned you I tried. Then I thought to myself, here's what's gonna really fucking happen. I'm gonna keep doing lean squad. We're gonna get to the end of the year and all sudden Billy Eilish fucking bag. Yeah, shits gonna come out and it won't even fucking matter that I lost weight. And then everybody will get fat because it'll be cool because it won't be it'll be queer to be fat. And I'm gonna be pissed and I'm gonna come on the miserable with Ms. At that point. I would love for me to get

Unknown: 16:44

miserable cuz I'm skinny.

The Miz: 16:48

Skinny everyone, that'll

Bobby: 16:49

be the thing that really I be like, I'll finally get high socks, but then they'll be like, Oh, no, no, no socks is cool with and it's just like we already like

Jim: 16:57

I can't compete with bitches like wait till like we actually just like fat bitches. Yeah, it's coming.

Bobby: 17:04

So don't worry about your margaritas honey. You're in the right pounds coming.

The Miz: 17:08

I am also really sick of people claiming they're thick when they're just fat.

Unknown: 17:13

Yes, thank you.

Bobby: 17:15

I'm sick of people saying they're sick when they're not fat at all. Oh, like oh,

The Miz: 17:19

like you like to sick. It's like yeah, you have a gut.

Bobby: 17:24

I know for like people like you to you're like we're thick. You don't know.

The Miz: 17:30

I've never claimed to be you have

Bobby: 17:32

body dysmorphia? because let me tell you, honey, you think you're still 14 years old and that fat fuck from New Hampshire and you're not, you're not that person anymore. Now I get it together.

The Miz: 17:45

I think I have body dysmorphia. And that I think I look better than I look

Bobby: 17:51

at a new button. Sorry.

Jim: 17:53

I thought it was stopping the applause and then it went into you do have body just laugh your way out of this odd bit.

Bobby: 18:02

You're like, pellets? hanun or melatonin like Sarah.

The Miz: 18:13

I think you might need to check yourself in somewhere. Honestly, I

Bobby: 18:17

thought about asking HR. Like, can I get a leave of absence for mental health? Like Is that a thing?

Unknown: 18:21

I think I

Bobby: 18:22

may need one like I need a sabbatical. like can I join a religion? So I have an excuse like I need

Unknown: 18:27

that's called Sabbath. Hi, I'm

Bobby: 18:28

a Mormon. I got to take my year off. Now.

Unknown: 18:30

I'm on Sabbath.

Bobby: 18:32

Seriously, like I need a moment I'm

Jim: 18:34

yeah, getting angry. And if you could go with like a Mormon missionary partner who's like a young skinny twink but like,

Bobby: 18:42

hot and thick.

Jim: 18:44

But Mormon, but Mormons. No alcohol,

The Miz: 18:49

Mormon white care what attributes of a Mormon Can you cite? We can talk about this in this week's

Bobby: 18:55

episode with fantasy. We'll talk about that. So that was my week. So I'm in a full blown like, crisis.

The Miz: 19:03

Yeah, you're, you're on one.

Bobby: 19:06

And I'm trying to I this week, I tried to back off. Like I'm trying to just like live one day at a time and like, just really focus on that day, instead of be like, well, we're gonna do this next week. And we got to do I'm gonna just like, today's the day I haven't really been posting on the socials that much as much as I usually do. Like, I'm just trying to like resettle myself into reality.

The Miz: 19:24

You're finding some balance.

Jim: 19:27

Look at the moon and think about light and you looked at the moon and you didn't even know what a road was. Well, no, I

Bobby: 19:32

know what the road is. I just, you just think about

Jim: 19:37

it. I do no trust no, like just

Bobby: 19:39

wires, think about wires and think about walls and roofs and lights. And I mean, it's so intricate. We've made such a crazy difficult society, and it's just going to actually like spin itself. It's just going to

Jim: 19:55

I do think about how the earth is like 4.6 billion years old and Just in the past 8000 years, humans have done all this stuff. It's like, right, like ancient Egyptians were not that long ago that was like 6000. And like they built some pyramids is like, wow, holy shit. Okay, that's cool. But now it's like, what is this? Why wireless internet? Right? We just we just take it for granted that.

Bobby: 20:20

Oh for grant Oh no, no that platform Yeah. Oh

Unknown: 20:26

wow you never fuck up your voice so stupid guy, idiot What's up? I need to go, Oh,

Bobby: 20:36

we really weren't packing your bags

The Miz: 20:40

you're just now

Bobby: 20:44

but yeah I mean it's kind of crazy when you really think about that and think about like 100 years ago, even 100 years ago we didn't have an anesthesia or something like you know I'm saying

Jim: 20:52

like antibiotics until World War Two is just bad.

Bobby: 20:57

Bad loop.

Unknown: 20:57

I'm in a loop.

Bobby: 20:58

I'm in a loop hell, hell I'm in like Inception I'm in the matrix like I'm

The Miz: 21:04

honestly kind of shocked by this conversation. Why? Uh huh. I'm just gonna shock I've kind of loved it. I feel like I'd love to going down such this rabbit hole because I think it shows like a lot of introspective views, which I love. You're kind of just like, what's the meaning of all of it? Blah, blah, blah. And that's like such a great thing to ponder. It is. But it also is like a disaster in my

Jim: 21:30

spiral. Like, why am I thinking about this? I

The Miz: 21:34

think it's kind of irreversible now is gonna be the way think.

Bobby: 21:38

Absolutely. And I just like when I was talking about how every deck peeps, it's like, kind of the same thing. Everything's the same thing. Now. It's like, Oh, my God. What are we doing? Like what?

Jim: 21:47

I'm driving to work? Why? 40 years later? What did I just do for 40 years? 40 years?

Bobby: 21:53

Yep. Oh, my God. Yeah. So see, here's the thing is, is you're still young? Yeah. So you're still you're starting to get to them? Right? Oh, that

The Miz: 22:00

young? No, my 20. Okay, so

Bobby: 22:03

I'm almost 10 years older than you. Well, I'm eight years older than you. That's, that's, that's, I mean, just like, wha spit in the mic.

Jim: 22:10

You could be a dog dad for him. Like, dogs have children by them?

Bobby: 22:15

I mean, yeah,

Unknown: 22:17

we got a try one even by eight months. I think they're gonna have kids. It's weird.

Jim: 22:22

You would know picking up kids.

Bobby: 22:24

But yeah, man is like, I think I think you'll have this moment. But I think you'll think back to when Bobby was saying that.

Jim: 22:32

You're gonna have a moment. What is a road?

The Miz: 22:34

I feel like I definitely understand where you're coming from that

Bobby: 22:38

you you experienced this when change happens.

The Miz: 22:41

I do experience sound off base from people's like reaction to it.

Jim: 22:48

And I'm kind of feeling it all the time. You're in fight or flight?

The Miz: 22:51

Like I I just more get like, depressed about it versus freaked out.

Jim: 22:56

I'm not like, look at that moon. That's cool. What's

The Miz: 23:01

it? Am I still alive?

Unknown: 23:02

Why am I alive? Yeah. Oh, God.

Bobby: 23:04

I mean, I just think about the fact that we're spinning rock in the middle of space. And at any moment somebody could just slam into us like, why is nothing slammed into us gravity pushes things away?

Jim: 23:15

Well, the sun's pull is pretty strong, and like comets coming in are more influenced by that than the Earth. It's weird to be like direct path. I

The Miz: 23:22

think about that shit all the time. But like, not this exact scenario, but like, why has it been crushed? And there was I always think like, why hasn't anyone like nuke New York City sun?

Jim: 23:31

Moon came from Earth, right?

Bobby: 23:33

Or like

Jim: 23:33

something hit the Earth and the Moon. The Big Bang? Not even Big Bang that was way after the Big Bang. But

Bobby: 23:40

sometimes I feel like it's I've said this before, like The Truman Show like somebody else's controlling this. Like, it's all a joke. Like, it's all like, and maybe Jesus.

Jim: 23:49

Maybe got lucky with us.

Bobby: 23:50

But like, if you really think about it, it's like, Is somebody causing this stuff? Like I don't know. Anyway, this is like, I'm going into q&a on the road. I always want to be the star of the show. I sound like I'm being Am I my ears a star that's gonna be beamed down and Donald Trump's gonna write it to the heavens. It's like,

Unknown: 24:06

Oh my god, I

Jim: 24:08

think we really don't matter that much. No one's watching us every day. We can't even watch drag race every week. I'm

Unknown: 24:16

Oh.

The Miz: 24:21

All right. Well, welcome to miserable throw away who, who wanted to share some something that he's going through right now? And based on based on what was submitted, I can surmise that he's been in this situation ship. It seems like that's a good word with somebody.

Unknown: 24:45

That actually somehow

The Miz: 24:47

Yeah, that's kind of humiliating for you.

Bobby: 24:49

I actually have never either, but that's like a Midwest thing that we don't know.

The Miz: 24:52

That's gonna contribute to your goddamn

Unknown: 24:55

regionalism.

The Miz: 24:58

But it seems He was in a little bit of a situation ship, they became really involved kind of quickly, it seems over like a reasonable period of time. They did come running buddies specifically. But then it came to light that the counterparty of the situation ship was in an actual relationship and living with his s. Which Ei. But they said, they said that the relationship was going badly, they were gonna separate, blah, blah, blah, it was all going to be great. So at this point, this throwaway person's feeling pretty, pretty bad about this, right? He's like, I feel gullible, I feel played bah, bah, bah, honorable. Yes, the works, then. And then it all started to change like that, that the paradise the whole damn, having something great started to turn around. And you know, the other guy would be like hot and cold, it was discovered that the other guy was seeking additional people to have similar situation ships, Oh, my God. He was made to feel like the quote unquote, needy one. And that's just all kind of cumulated in or culminated excuse me in throwaway messaging, the other guy's actual boyfriend on Instagram. And being like, hey, like, I've been seeing your partner for like, close to a year, then this is the part that I like this, then the counterparty who've been like the world, decides to like change his whole tune. And he's like, I'm so relieved that you texted my boyfriend. Like I let him know, I was so clear from the beginning on what the situation was, blah, blah. So it's like, This guy has not been played, his feelings are hurt. He's distraught, he decided to take action on it. And that is also turned against him. And now the two of them are off doing their thing.

Unknown: 27:12

We're going to do this

The Miz: 27:14

with some serious dramatic. It seems like he has some serious trauma. And so what his what he's asking is how does he get over these, these bouts of sadness that come up because of his experience? So my question for you guys is, have you had any sort of situation like this in the past?

Bobby: 27:37

I actually have, this is definitely happened to me. When you let yourself become vulnerable. It's a it's bad. Because here's the thing, the minute when you're blinded, your love blind, what's another word they use, like laughs chalk, love struck, you're in the honeymoon, you meet this person. That's great. You have great conversations, everything's amazing. You overlook the flaws. You 100% decide that you're not gonna look at any of the flaws. You're like, Well, you know, he's straight, but like, it's fine. We're gonna be together forever. And it's like, Wait a second, like, looking back. You're like, Am I a fucking idiot? So this is what he's feeling. And this is where I connected with him was, I felt really stupid in a situation like this as well, to where I like had. I mean, like, I cooked, I can

Jim: 28:23

say it is the Nutella story. No.

Unknown: 28:28

laid on the ground.

Bobby: 28:30

No, this was somebody I was like seeing and I thought it was more than it was. And that's the problem that I'm feeling. That's the vibe I'm getting via Skype as well. Like, he thought it was more than it was. And he got so sucked into the idea of them together, that he was blinded by all the real shit, which was he wasn't, he was hot and cold, because he wasn't seeing you really, he was seeing you when it was convenient for him.

The Miz: 28:52

So that's what I was thinking when I was initially reading it. And I was highlighting, I was like, I think like when you say was so great. And it was so great. Like, that was your perception of the situation. That's not actually probably what the reality like,

Jim: 29:05

you know, you know, that feeling when you like, you see, you get the text alert, and you already are like, it's gonna be them texting, right? You look down and you're like, was it from them? It was from them. And then you read? Like, here's that text, and then you're

Unknown: 29:17

here,

Jim: 29:18

they're texting the bubbles straight away. And you're like, Oh, my God.

Bobby: 29:23

I feel have MS every week. I'm like,

Unknown: 29:25

Hi, how

Bobby: 29:26

are you? And he's like, great. How are you? I'm like, oh my god. So good. And then it's like silence for seven hours. He's

Jim: 29:30

like doing taxes for 12

Bobby: 29:32

like, are you okay? Oh, hey, oh my god, lol I I just I feel abused. I die. Just it hurts my heart. It really does. And I know it's he's going through a lot. He's 34 as well. So at that point, you're kind of like, am I ever gonna find anybody? You might or might not and honestly, you might not I mean, you might not like this is a real situation like you might not find somebody that you can. Especially gay. You can find somebody if you if that's really What you want but I think after this situation you're going to change and that's that's my thing your you need to let the time happen. Because you're gonna your perspective is gonna flip and you're going to be like, I learned a lot from this I'm never going to let a motherfucker do this to me again.

The Miz: 30:11

I completely agree with that. I completely agree like your criteria needs to be so much more defined now. Like you need to have so much more wits about you. Besides this. I want a boyfriend. I want to be in a situation. That can't happen anymore.

Jim: 30:25

Wow, I thought you were supposed to be young here. Like you're speaking like a wise old elder, like an old hag. This is true. You are in a relationship. Oh,

Bobby: 30:35

wow. No, I mean, that's true. That's 100% just

Jim: 30:38

want a boyfriend for like appearances and like, I just have this thing and it's great. Yeah. Oh, my God, I wrote down relationship, but I don't I think you're ready, though.

Bobby: 30:49

I think you're ready.

Jim: 30:50

I think you're ready.

Unknown: 30:51

We'll get there when you get there. We'll get there. When we talk about fantasy. We'll

The Miz: 30:55

get there. When Nancy h arrives here with my goddamn mark.

Bobby: 30:59

They're gonna talk about Nancy Kerrigan or Nancy Reagan. I'm like, why?

The Miz: 31:03

No, hell no. Why would I ever bring up any of those two people? I

Bobby: 31:06

don't know, either. One thing that I did, and this is my advice, I guess to I'm just going to add a little little sprinkle on top. I had to like self, find myself and self discover.

Jim: 31:16

So I actually remind myself, I'm sorry, I

Unknown: 31:19

had a self find myself. find myself when I was looking for my self and I found myself. Alright, I did it by my God. Sorry. I love it.

Bobby: 31:36

Last set. So I wrote down everything I was looking for. And that was even to the point of like, when I text you, you text me back, like literally within an hour, you're gonna text me back. I don't care if you're a goddamn surgeon, you will text me back or I don't want you in my life. And this is my Universalist. It was I said I wanted somebody who had like, I mean, I did everything like to a tee like kind of beefy like spear like sports. Like literally everything that I wanted and then later on, no. No sports. Yeah, like I wanted him to want to go to sporting events with me and like because I like sports. So I was like looking for, you know, like basically a straight guy to

Jim: 32:16

barely beefy sports guys.

Bobby: 32:18

I like guys that are straight. That's what I wrote on the paper. That's what Yeah, you're gonna discover you need to surround yourself with friends.

Jim: 32:25

Everything you need to do is be clear in the beginning about is this person in a relationship or not. And are they actually separate? I'm not trying to criticize but like it is rough. When someone says like, I live with this person who knows to date forever. It's like, Well, are you still fucking on the low or like,

Bobby: 32:41

what if I asked her away right now if you met somebody that was still living with a boyfriend? What would he say? I'm not doing that. I'm not dealing with that. He's already learned a lesson he doesn't he's around. Oh, well throw away.

Unknown: 32:49

I think that early. I love you.

Bobby: 32:51

I love you too. We love you. You're probably hot to be honest. I know. I can tell to display your handwriting or

Unknown: 32:59

and you don't get it. It's fucking

Jim: 33:02

you have to be hot if your

The Miz: 33:05

story was sent via snail mail to Columbus, Ohio.

Bobby: 33:08

Yes, I even handed I typed out his penmanship. Pen me. No, you're gonna be okay. You just gotta have time and just gotta be better. You'll be fine. But just try to stay busy.

Unknown: 33:21

Yeah.

Bobby: 33:24

Are you satisfied? Or do you need to say anything else?

Unknown: 33:27

No.

Bobby: 33:28

You want to wrap it up and conclude? No, I

The Miz: 33:30

have nothing else to add.

Unknown: 33:32

Yeah, okay.

Bobby: 33:33

I can't wait for you to be here and be in the studio with us so far.

The Miz: 33:36

wait to get in the studio. I feel like it would be great.

Jim: 33:40

You do know we have a really? Like, have you seen it?

The Miz: 33:43

I haven't seen the mini fridge that's broke. But

Jim: 33:46

because it's great. It's broken, but it keeps it cold. Frozen. I

The Miz: 33:49

know. I feel like our first live episode is gonna be like magic. It's gonna be magic

Bobby: 33:54

and we're gonna be like

Jim: 33:56

we're gonna be in Columbus or it'll be

Bobby: 33:58

the last will be like this isn't gonna work as a crackhead, Barney

The Miz: 34:03

meet and we're just like, no, no.

Unknown: 34:05

Gotta go back to LaGuardia. Oh, no.

Jim: 34:11

$20 Mimosa

Unknown: 34:12

Ramon Mimosa

Bobby: 34:16

Mimosa

Jim: 34:17

rewind the tape which I didn't say it

Unknown: 34:23

the more you know with gin Ah,

Bobby: 34:29

I'm just saying how do I even get you to record that? I don't know. I don't remember. I probably like drugged him was like here say this in this mic.

Unknown: 34:36

For your promo

Jim: 34:37

you probably have a tape of me doing some not like such

Bobby: 34:40

a loser.

Jim: 34:43

This week on the more you know, it's time to talk about more animal vaginas.

Bobby: 34:50

We love animal pissy

Jim: 34:52

we do this animal posi story like it came back to me. I I don't know why I thought about Well, I saw a meme with a duck penis in it and so it triggered a story I read an NPR like six years ago trigger warning like six years ago NPR the story about duck penises and how they've evolved. So I we've all been on well not Bobby but we've all been on campus and we've seen duck rain

Bobby: 35:25

wow the shit man, where's your fucking glasses?

Jim: 35:28

The library is open. Closed everyone be nice.

Bobby: 35:33

And let me tell you I've been on campus just not learning.

Jim: 35:40

Saving for the fantasy section I am. Okay. So yeah, basically we've all seen duck rape and i i should say trigger warning cuz I don't know if rapes the right word because consent with animals who knows? It's, it's just who knows a skewed Do they really believe in doing okay, so anyways, basically, female ducks have evolved clockwise vaginas. So they try to prevent the penis from getting into them and fertilizing their little.

Unknown: 36:09

Oh, yeah. Okay.

Jim: 36:12

Well over time male penis, male penises

The Miz: 36:16

and male specifically

Jim: 36:21

have become corkscrew. So male ducks have corkscrew penises. Like they look like a corkscrew. And so when they're putting them in the vagina they match so like one is counterclockwise one's clockwise

The Miz: 36:34

ducks like have sag.

Unknown: 36:35

Like, do they like

Bobby: 36:37

screws that dock?

Unknown: 36:38

Oh my god.

The Miz: 36:39

Do you like see them? Like?

Bobby: 36:42

Like a screwdriver to like,

Unknown: 36:45

rotate? No,

Jim: 36:47

it goes in like, right?

Bobby: 36:51

Like, female like in order to get in? Ya

Jim: 36:54

know, the duck doesn't turn just the penis.

Unknown: 37:00

Yes.

The Miz: 37:01

Oh my god.

Jim: 37:04

And so like, over time, this was a way for female ducks to be like, No, I don't want your

Bobby: 37:08

time though. Like, I mean, listen,

Jim: 37:10

I like millions of years. And so the male ducks with the Morpheus are penises fear

Bobby: 37:16

baby. feeding into

Jim: 37:18

the better corkscrew you dick you have the more babies you have the more babies you have the better corkscrew dicks they have. But then those females are like no, no, Fuck this. Wow. counterpart and screw

Bobby: 37:28

but why don't they want to be fertilized? Isn't that like a natural

Jim: 37:32

one? Because they want the best male possible but they're not out there. Just like sometimes you don't? They're not like real life. Yeah, they're not like us. You're not always getting fucked by the ideal male. And that's the truth. Take a look

Bobby: 37:45

at our picture. That's awesome. Wow. really ideal Fox. Honestly.

Jim: 37:52

If you're into horseheads Fuck me.

Bobby: 37:56

Fuck him with the horse hat on.

Jim: 37:57

We still haven't done the jockstrap photoshoot.

Bobby: 38:01

Wait for the fantasy section.

Unknown: 38:05

Um,

Jim: 38:06

so yeah, so that's very I think geese also have corkscrew penises like all things that are like, so they

Bobby: 38:11

like spin but the duck stays so almost like slithers in and like.

Jim: 38:16

Yeah, yeah, whoa, corkscrews its way just pretend you're a cork in a bottle and it's just screwed on and right into the wine.

Bobby: 38:24

If a female dog had an orgasm, what would it sound like? knee jerk. Top any

Unknown: 38:39

of them give us the name.

The Miz: 38:40

I am just dying at Bobby. Out of nowhere giving us a little quack there.

Bobby: 38:47

I just feel like i mean i hat quack like Mighty Ducks. Honey.

Unknown: 38:52

I love quack game. I'm a quack.

The Miz: 38:54

I love to quack

Bobby: 38:58

just like the female I'm like yeah. You try to get in there.

Unknown: 39:07

Twist Yo, Dick was that you? That was a guy doing good. Oh. Dear sister. geese.

The Miz: 39:16

He one died.

Bobby: 39:19

Did you eat one from Thanksgiving? Oh, already? Dead. Did they eat it?

The Miz: 39:25

No, I think they throw it away.

Bobby: 39:27

What kind of fucking duck farm did you find this duck? Because clearly

The Miz: 39:32

I'm like on a Craigslist like who was selling a duck like that in the nick of time

Jim: 39:37

that duck daddy did not have a good corkscrew. I'll tell you that. I know. Yeah.

Bobby: 39:42

It's evolution. Revolution.

Jim: 39:44

That's a revolution.

Bobby: 39:45

revolutionary. Literally I love

Unknown: 39:48

dogs. Honestly, I

Jim: 39:49

don't do I forgot about you loving ducks you do. That's funny. And you know they have a corkscrew dick now.

The Miz: 39:55

No, I do not know you really

Bobby: 39:57

do know research genitalia of all your favorite animal.

The Miz: 40:00

I have a penis of the dark habit

Jim: 40:02

is humans are very out of proportion with our penis length to body size in primary.

Bobby: 40:06

Yeah, to be honest with you.

Jim: 40:07

I mean, we know we talked about this last week but but are we? Yeah. Are we really out of proportion? Because a lot most that I've seen? No, we're underperforming or under proportioned and performance and performance proportion is about the size performance about what you do with it. How do you work that

Unknown: 40:26

shit wow girl works corkscrew me, honey, me.

Bobby: 40:30

Well, thank you Jim. That was very again another week. I

The Miz: 40:32

have to say I know a lot more now than I did before that.

Bobby: 40:37

guys know you brought the heat. You brought the heat the past two weeks on

Unknown: 40:43

the more unit. Ah ha ha ha ha ha. I reached my move goal by just jumping out of the

Jim: 40:52

chair. Just that extra little.

Bobby: 40:56

My upper right corner and I need to go get a test. Do you ever make fun of me again?

Jim: 41:01

I know. And that's

Bobby: 41:02

that's really what's exciting. Yeah, it's like

Jim: 41:04

wow, I can't ever make fun of him. So that's great.

Unknown: 41:09

So

Jim: 41:09

where's Martha p with that Marg.

The Miz: 41:11

It's Nancy. Ah, and she's in front of my building. I'm waiting for my mother to go off.

Bobby: 41:16

As you look so cute. I knew you. Were gonna like find like boyfriend or in New York. No. Like, set you up. But like people like a guy flock to us. And we'll like be able to like screen them.

Jim: 41:30

We're gonna get you a doctor cuz I don't think all of our friends are dating doc. You could do a doctor? No, like everyone's dating a doc.

Unknown: 41:37

No, I don't think I could.

Bobby: 41:39

I absolutely could. But I can't seem to get an ER doctor. Or a surgeon.

The Miz: 41:44

I can only get like a surgeon surgeon.

Jim: 41:46

Half a million a year they do your garden and they're never home. Never.

The Miz: 41:50

I don't think I can do someone that who's like smarter than me. I'd get to subconscious. Oh,

Bobby: 41:55

that sounds like so. So peanuts are some of the bigger dick than you

Jim: 42:00

know. You could have a smaller dick to me. I can't be next to you. I know. You could be like, you could be a girl and I cannot. Oh, that's even worse. There's no fucking way. I can't believe girls just sit down and they're like, let's go to the bathroom. And they talk about like, Oh, no, no, no, no, like Mackenzie each other talk. But my brothers. My brother and his friend did that. I was on vacation on my brother's friend and they like we went in the bathroom and they went stalls while I'm painting the urinal and they're like, you guys are in the stalls right next.

Unknown: 42:40

gym does not like that. Oh my god.

Jim: 42:43

panic attack again.

The Miz: 42:44

Why I have such an issue that considering on swim team. I used to shower naked with all the other swimmers but

Unknown: 42:50

I guess it's

Bobby: 42:52

because I'm sitting there like, Oh my god, they think I'm just fucking around looking at their dicks. That's the literally I think in my head is they're gonna think I'm like watching their decks watching not watching. I just slept a little bit watching their deck. So then I get panicky I'm like, Oh my God, if I don't start paying, they're gonna know that I'm standing here and then they're

Unknown: 43:08

gonna get asked me.

Bobby: 43:10

Exactly. It goes back to gay bashing. It really does. It was

Jim: 43:13

a bash in a bathroom before

Bobby: 43:14

I could see that. You were probably at the glory hole. No, it was.

Jim: 43:18

a urinal is tell I'm really sorry. But actually that's on a drill multiple times. Really? I cannot be in a bathroom. I can't be in a urinal. I

Bobby: 43:25

always push from behind.

Jim: 43:27

Yes. Right into it in high school times. Yes. High School undergrad.

Bobby: 43:34

Who the fuck just pushing you around? Definitely Middle

Unknown: 43:36

School. Oh,

Bobby: 43:37

did you let people push you around? Yes, I

Jim: 43:39

did. Let's blame the bullied not the bully errs.

Bobby: 43:45

You just let people

Unknown: 43:47

push you around. Not my son. I would never let him get bullied on blaming.

Bobby: 43:52

You're just a victim. You're just acting like a victim.

Unknown: 43:57

Oh, yes. Oh, consider it. I feel like you just yelled

Bobby: 44:01

at Nancy.

Unknown: 44:02

Did he yell at Nancy?

The Miz: 44:03

Yeah.

Unknown: 44:08

Why?

The Miz: 44:10

Well, a wasn't Nancy was a man. Okay, so

Unknown: 44:13

they like wow. Or maybe

The Miz: 44:14

he's my man. And then he's like, Oh, can I have your ID? Am I gonna man? My ID you want my ID to ordermark sitting here

Unknown: 44:24

at with Moshi pube

Bobby: 44:28

what do you need to see my gray pubes they come in like a paper bag to it's like perfect for the homeless. You would never know if you like went on the bridge with the paper bag. It's like true

Jim: 44:45

you will never run out of a paper bag. That's like the size Central Park

Bobby: 44:48

is that 64 ounces like right now I would literally fall out we would

Unknown: 44:57

fall out a pissy be falling I'd have to get on a bad day. Mash

Jim: 45:02

Oh, I got a hate those. I'm scared of that, like the thought of that

Bobby: 45:06

you're gonna have to go on for your whole I'm not hold up.

Jim: 45:10

I'm not saying anything against it

Bobby: 45:12

happens so fantasy. What's your fantasy like up on the roof? Do I just want to talk about what our fantasies are or what a fantasy is? Or how do you want to address this?

Jim: 45:25

I do want to talk about what our fantasies are. But I just want to start with like, what are we allowed to fantasize about? There's

Bobby: 45:31

no reason why

Jim: 45:32

thank God but then like, what are we who are we allowed to admit certain fantasies to? Because Okay, well, yes, but us are talking into microphones.

The Miz: 45:43

Fantasy, no.

Jim: 45:45

level of friendship. Can you tell your fantasies too, because some fantasies are pretty revealing.

Unknown: 45:51

Okay, well,

Bobby: 45:51

so you're asking in general, like, is that Yeah, I

Jim: 45:55

guess you should. Yeah, I guess we need a specific. No, but

Bobby: 45:58

like, Are you asking in general, like, there's certain levels of fantasy that you can explain to certain people? Like I would tell you guys like I want to be on my knees around a whole entire football team and they can all come all over me.

The Miz: 46:08

I would tell anyone that want Chris Brown took a dump on me.

Bobby: 46:12

And that's like, legit.

The Miz: 46:13

Yeah. Chris Brown. Only a

Bobby: 46:17

Cleveland see more than Come on your face.

Jim: 46:19

Yeah. Oh, it's gonna be so like warm. Yeah, no. I kind of like what if it's running, it's running down the side of your chest like

Unknown: 46:28

yeah, running

Bobby: 46:30

his debut single bitch. Do you lay down a tarp?

Unknown: 46:33

Or you can run it? Oh, no. It just goes on it. Really? Yeah.

The Miz: 46:47

My biggest fantasy is getting this is like this topic of like, racial preference. So excuse the hell out of me. But

Bobby: 46:58

we actually got some good feedback on that. Yeah, like that people agree with us.

The Miz: 47:02

I want to be pounded by like a Latin server like in the kitchen of like a hole in the wall Mexican restaurant.

Jim: 47:12

sipping a mark while everything goes

Bobby: 47:14

back to the Mexican restaurant with Ms. Yeah,

Jim: 47:16

it's like if you have a mark you can use like,

Bobby: 47:18

all I want is to be getting pounded with a mark in my mouth and a chip in my teeth.

The Miz: 47:24

I want to take a Latin servers dip, dip it in Marg and like lick it off. Like that's what I want. Okay, this

Jim: 47:30

is I'm trying to like think of my fantasies now. I don't know a lot. I

The Miz: 47:34

have one. Fuck all my girlfriends boyfriends. But that's not really a fantasy, right?

Bobby: 47:38

I know. That's a legit fantasy, though. Because Do they know that? My dude actually

The Miz: 47:43

had a dream of anything. I had a I had a dream one set. My best friend was like, Hey, you can like suck my boyfriend's deck. And I was like, Okay.

Bobby: 47:52

Okay, that's actually like, you have fantasies, Jim.

Unknown: 47:56

I know. You're scared. You're a pussy. That's

The Miz: 47:58

why not just share them. Just share it. What

Bobby: 48:01

are you afraid of? Nobody gives a fuck about your fantasy. Anyway. Really? down there? Bottom Line. I mean, nobody cares. The

Jim: 48:07

sad part is like most Well, I mean, Chris Brown. Shannon, you would be a pretty crazy experience. But like, a lot of our fantasies are really not that wild. You know, like, Well, okay.

Bobby: 48:19

So I mean,

Jim: 48:20

well, I would like or you're just so wild and fanatical

Bobby: 48:23

that we can't hear him. So do if you are a little fucking but does

Jim: 48:27

your fan art that's what I'm saying is minor kind of sad. Well, you are fantasies have to be Oh, yeah.

Unknown: 48:36

Like my fantasies to have a family and love my fantasies to be happy. Oh, wow. See,

The Miz: 48:44

what makes a fantasy is by today never happen. It's something that will never happen.

Bobby: 48:51

Excuse me, I would not say never a little bit. He is like

The Miz: 48:54

so what is your definition of fantasy fantasy

Bobby: 48:57

is something you want to happen. I'm not saying it won't. It will happen. But I don't think we should close the door either. So the fantasy, a fantasy is something that you want so bad, but potentially you might not get it that? Well then, okay, if I want a fantasy of a group of men coming on my chest all at once I can make that happen,

The Miz: 49:19

then it's not like

Bobby: 49:22

a fantasy has to be so fucking out there then that

Jim: 49:25

will never happen. I'm like a lot of the things I want to do. I think I could do if I just went online, right? Like

Unknown: 49:31

Fantasia, I know.

The Miz: 49:33

None of that shit will happen.

Jim: 49:34

Like you couldn't get a professional football team to all come on your chest like that would not

Unknown: 49:40

shit on me.

Jim: 49:41

Right? You want to go into the Blue Jackets locker room and just like circle jerk them all. Yeah, that's never gonna happen while they're okay. Okay, that's okay. Yeah, I get it.

The Miz: 49:51

Very high bar for

Bobby: 49:53

bars high but also like, here's the thing that what if I have a high bar and it actually happens though, it still is my fantasy. It just came true. What are you talking about? This one like, for me personally. So after we talked about last week about leadership, I decided that now in my life crisis, that I'm ready to fucking run my boss, I'm ready to blow him into submission.

Unknown: 50:17

I want him I want to be one of this mouse.

Bobby: 50:21

I want to be able to say to him, shut the fuck up and get in your fucker like sit down in

Jim: 50:25

your chair and pull your pants down on xinhai.

Unknown: 50:28

Like,

The Miz: 50:28

what's the likelihood we feel this Canary?

Unknown: 50:30

I think, see, I think I'm at it. Like, I

Jim: 50:32

think if he pushed it 90%

Bobby: 50:34

I think I'm at a 40 right now, there's times we'll close my door and I'm like, oh, God was gonna say yep. And like, fuck are these reports? Like yesterday he likes or Friday. He's stretched and his shirt came up. Oh, now's like, Wait a second. And then he like we'll talk about things. Everyone's gonna shut the door and be like, I was looking at our schedule. Oh my god, maybe he doesn't want to fuck me.

Unknown: 50:57

Oh, wow.

Bobby: 50:59

No, we were looking at the schedule. And there's a job named Dyckman pump was the name of the job. And he's like, you know, I can't help it. I just think like dick pump.

Jim: 51:17

Please stop like, actually, to think like your boss, like closing the door just being like, I'm in control. Get on this desk. Like,

Bobby: 51:26

like, to the point where I'm gonna be like, so then once I do do that, then I have something on hand and I have all the fucking power like I can call in sick. What are you gonna say to me, bitch,

Unknown: 51:34

I wonder what?

Bobby: 51:36

Yeah, I want to raise. I want to talk to

Unknown: 51:38

a patient by and when he gets nasty. I say Sit the fuck down. When he hits me you withhold that hole.

Bobby: 51:44

So now now that the fantasy is laid out. And it's not really a fantasy, because he's not that he's not even hot. It's just like the control thing for me. But if it comes true, does that make it not legitimately a fantasy? Then

Jim: 51:57

Then it's just reality.

Bobby: 51:58

I don't agree with the whole statement though. I'm just arguing. Right now I want to define what a fantasy is.

The Miz: 52:03

I would say that what you're describing, it's not inherently that far fetched.

Jim: 52:08

I think a lot of people get fucked by their bosses. And then there's a lot of eight. That's why HR exists, like

Unknown: 52:13

so that HR is a thing. What if I want to fuck me? You just want HR. Anyway, so

Bobby: 52:20

can I also just mention something real cool. While we're off the subject first. I just realized that my window is open. I just screamed. I want to fuck my boss and have full control. So my whole neighborhood was that I'm gonna try to fuck my boss. Thank you.

The Miz: 52:32

We love that for you.

Bobby: 52:36

It's for control, though. That's it.

The Miz: 52:38

But that makes it so much more steamier it's like just

Bobby: 52:42

like, I kind of want to choke him out while I'm blowing them like grab him by his fucking neck and then like also be giving my handy Yeah, I'm saying

The Miz: 52:48

I would love this sounds really really really weird. But I always had this like, moment of like, this will be amazing. This happened to me that someone like tried to attack me. And I countered with like, give me them sexual favors and then murder them like that that to me like

Unknown: 53:10

on the next dateline

The Miz: 53:15

or something. I'm like, I wish I would be in the news for

Bobby: 53:17

like that Stark and I can I'm living for it for you. I'm very happy.

The Miz: 53:22

Like mugs me and I'm like, oh, like do you want me to blah blah and then I'm like, oh, Dad, you

Bobby: 53:28

know what? I do have something similar that that happened this week with PlayStation because some guy on PlayStation was talking shit. Like you suck you suck. You fucking faggot. You suck. No, no. And I said

Unknown: 53:39

Huh,

Bobby: 53:39

I go Yeah, actually you're right I do suck. I am a faggot. I said And what's even funnier is you're about to get beat by a faggot. So I was down when nothing came back beat him I go I'm just laughing so hard cuz you just got beat by a faggot. I felt so empowered but he might have been turned on

Unknown: 53:56

probably he's right jacking off all day and he's like oh if

The Miz: 53:58

I do things straight man like get turned on by their superiority complex to gay man

Jim: 54:04

head short military. Oh.

Bobby: 54:07

Oh yeah, you're right. They were like fraternity

Jim: 54:10

frat everyone wants to be dominated

Bobby: 54:13

so literally everybody wants to get fucked from somebody who with power Yeah.

Jim: 54:18

Oh well you just had to break through

Unknown: 54:20

the world makes sense now you're having a road

Jim: 54:25

I like your week though. I

Bobby: 54:26

mean, I'm I'm learning a lot about my sorrows. You all you're getting there I feel it for you. 36 is coming I feel it for Ms. Ms is about to have a breakthrough.

Jim: 54:35

Yeah, I need a breakthrough. No,

The Miz: 54:37

I don't know actually. I'm having

Jim: 54:39

well already just have to have a couple appointments this week like

Bobby: 54:42

deck appointments or like doctor appointments. He both Oh, that's another fantasy of mine is a doctor.

Unknown: 54:48

Oh my god. I

The Miz: 54:49

had a doctor I I would I'll see the

Bobby: 54:53

doctor like I always want to have a hot doctor. I always want to get my card and like sit there on the table like see if he notices that makes sense. But usually it's the opposite it's all like tucked in and like tight I'm like so nervous

Jim: 55:06

I'm always nervous there so I'm always like

Bobby: 55:08

it's like is my dick even there right now or Hello? Hello? Like kind of wake it up Come on honey you gotta look good for this this is like a moment for us

Unknown: 55:18

this is

Jim: 55:22

the other thing about the fantasy is like at the point of the fantasy we would probably just fall apart and we would be soft we wouldn't be able to come we wouldn't be able to do anything

The Miz: 55:30

yeah like if Chris Brown was

Jim: 55:32

you would be great if your boss did anything you're like wait I'm not ready

Unknown: 55:37

no panic and be like

Jim: 55:40

married I want to

Bobby: 55:42

I probably do cuz I think Michael will give me the green light because he wants me to build up control over him actually have something to say. Yes ma'am. And it kind of goes along with this whole fantasy thing. So you know how like I post my like bulge pictures in my like legs and my body all over discord and on my balls. So we had a discord member over today. Joey was here shout out to Joey

Unknown: 56:04

Wait, shall we? Does he live in Columbus? Yeah.

Bobby: 56:09

So Joey was over and he started talking about like my legs and like he's talking about like my case and something I'm like, thinks because like you know, like on the on the discord. I'm like, here's my here's my balls. Oh my god. I'm so like, but in person when he just mentioned that. I'm like,

Unknown: 56:26

I would never Oh, oh, that's silly discord thing. Like when I'm posting

Bobby: 56:31

my nudes. Like it's so weird in person. So that's I get what you're saying with that fantasy. connecting it like where if you're like man you're cockeyed to me and my face

Jim: 56:41

falls out right right I'm like

Bobby: 56:42

no no absolutely fucking not but

Jim: 56:44

I will miss just heard you so watch out Miss goes from balls balls. Balls I don't know You're gross

Unknown: 56:49

Discord.

Jim: 56:51

Oh yeah, I found them on the gay ish discord and then

Bobby: 56:54

so I just posted them because he was already trying to expose me so I was yeah Jim trans expose you know, I just like expose myself I wasn't

Jim: 57:00

going to expose you I just like they're already on here. And I wanted to let people find them. But then I was like as I thought for a while before I was like wait, I recognize these balls. Wait that body? I knew I was like them

Unknown: 57:09

shoulders do not match.

Jim: 57:11

I caught you because you were both advertising for the pie was on someone else's disk or which killed me and I was laughing

Unknown: 57:18

I know.

Bobby: 57:21

I have to like sometimes I try to just like with those balls. I went to those big balls. I'm like hey, come listen to us. Because if you think these balls are big wait to hear personalities. Um, I also want to give a shout out to camera Jeff camera jabber Jeff is so sweet.

Jim: 57:35

And he loves werebear like he's the one with the rainbow on his chest. He's caring and sharing her belly I'm not I forget how

Bobby: 57:41

they're like mixed in the

Unknown: 57:42

Care Bears work. Care Bear stare

Bobby: 57:45

I really I just really like I'm really again I'm we love our board

Jim: 57:49

thing. We love the discord.

Bobby: 57:50

Love the discord Miz what's your final thought I needed? I just needed you to wrap this up a final thought.

Unknown: 57:55

I thought I don't know. Like I was just sitting here like just staring at it. I guess

The Miz: 58:06

is join our discord because we have like Teletubbies and shit. And you should absolutely pursue your fantasy. No matter how far fetched

Bobby: 58:20

I'm I'm living for that. Jim, final thoughts. I love Jim. So he's like,

Unknown: 58:25

my final thought is

Jim: 58:30

my final thought comes from the MS part where I'm just kind of like, check your own mind because it's a little too powerful. And it can throw you off and you just have to like reel it in sometimes and be like, what is really going on? What am I actually feeling? Why am I feeling that? What am I thinking? Then reassess your situation ship

Bobby: 58:51

so it's a throw away?

Jim: 58:53

Throw away? This is I'm still like thinking about it. I do this all the time. I will. Oh,

Bobby: 59:00

Oh is he choking?

Jim: 59:00

He aspirated he literally has Margarita in his lungs. Right?

Bobby: 59:05

He turned us off to

The Miz: 59:07

D here I saw heard it.

Jim: 59:09

I heard it. I could feel it.

Bobby: 59:11

Maybe it's coming through your through your

Unknown: 59:13

lung cancer, I

Bobby: 59:14

think oh, my God, you'll never know. That's why I sometimes think I'm like,

Jim: 59:19

really at first.

Bobby: 59:20

I'm like if I just drink every night like I'll never know I'm dying. You know what I mean? You

Jim: 59:22

won't and that's ideal. So, final thoughts. How do you kill yourself? So

Bobby: 59:28

my final thought is make sure you get high every night so that you don't know that you're alive.

Jim: 59:33

If you want to know what the moon is tomorrow, get high tonight.

Bobby: 59:36

I think my final thought would be also directed towards throw away but also just to wrap up my entire life crisis. You don't know what tomorrow is gonna bring. And so you should also embrace the fact that you're 36 because some people don't make it the 36 you should embrace the fact that you are living your best life You should embrace the fact that you are learning something new From this shitty situation this is for throw away. You're gonna learn something from this and you're gonna be a better person for this. So learn don't fuck it up.

Unknown: 1:00:09

Yes mama row.

Bobby: 1:00:11

Make sure you share our show with your friends. I don't even want you to give me your fucking review because you guys don't fucking do it anyway.

Jim: 1:00:16

I want to I just want to carebear Jeff you better review

Unknown: 1:00:19

five stars. Five stars carebear

Jim: 1:00:22

carebear I want five stars across your chest Samak and I want them to shoot out like a carebear

Bobby: 1:00:27

in a nice little note would be nice.

Unknown: 1:00:29

Oh, thank

Bobby: 1:00:30

you just be like same with you Frank the linguist

Jim: 1:00:32

they're so sweet Frank and Montreal Frank's

Bobby: 1:00:36

I don't know if he's in Montreal. He's in LA. You're right. We don't know if he's, I think he's in Quebec City.

Unknown: 1:00:41

Do I just got a hug him? Everyone's

Jim: 1:00:42

got a hot dog.

Bobby: 1:00:43

I'm sorry. And I don't

Unknown: 1:00:44

know. Wait, who? Franco linguist Franco linguist

Bobby: 1:00:47

has like a thick ass cochon. He's

Jim: 1:00:48

gonna get hard. Like at any time of the day. He's like taking a break getting hot. I'm like, I don't like it. But once a week, but you're just like, halfway through the day. He's

Bobby: 1:00:57

full mass full. I mean, that's when you used to get it. Yeah, get hard. Like, now it's like, oh,

Unknown: 1:01:03

no, no, I

Jim: 1:01:04

have to struggle through on a Saturday night. That's like, Oh, that's cute. Just like that. What is this? I didn't even share all of my fantasies.

Bobby: 1:01:13

Right? Which I'm not

Unknown: 1:01:14

kissing me. enough to just tell. Because I

Jim: 1:01:18

was trying to think of one that like I couldn't do so like, here's my fantasies

Unknown: 1:01:24

come true.

Jim: 1:01:25

Because like I wanted to do one more like one where like, you know, I could never this would never happen. A lot of mine take place in the past like when I'm younger.

Unknown: 1:01:36

Okay, no, that's hot. Oh, yeah,

Jim: 1:01:44

the one of my thing was Oh, it's here the hook the hook. The hook is hitting the dreams come true. And then the

Bobby: 1:01:49

death happens. That's what that's what's gonna happen. And then the lowly ready for and I'm fully ready for you totally

The Miz: 1:01:56

ready for my death as well.

Jim: 1:01:57

I'm ready for Bobby's liver cancer from the fatty liver. Oh, no, Honey, I'm

Bobby: 1:02:00

thriving now.

The Miz: 1:02:02

I'm like, I'm like the youngest, but I will absolutely be the first

Bobby: 1:02:06

to feel

Unknown: 1:02:10

Oh, god, he's

Jim: 1:02:12

rock hard. Honey. I'm hot. Like he's hard. No, no, he's hard. At full tries. Yeah, muscle. Yeah. Yeah, I haven't had one of these in like years. Like since before quarantine.

Bobby: 1:02:24

Like I'm hi anyone. I'm on day. 75 Oh my god. Eating and drinking. That's a problem. I gotta like really? Yeah. And that's Yeah,

Unknown: 1:02:33

I'm so proud of you.

Bobby: 1:02:34

Thank you. I just feel like I'm heart healthy. Remember I said I want to be heart healthy. That's my main goal is to be heart healthy. So if I lose weight exercise that yeah, that's what I've been told. Like, my face looks skinnier and stuff. So when you

Jim: 1:02:45

do when you're posting pictures when you post that picture, I was like, Oh, no. But what's the pic? The not the frigging the other one. Chris Crocker. That picture was like your face looks skinnier.

Bobby: 1:02:55

I'm noticing certain looks skinnier pictures. I'm like, okay, it's happening. I

Unknown: 1:02:58

just happened. Yeah, it's going.

Jim: 1:03:01

I can't wait till we can go. Like get in line. I know. It's at a bar be like I want my drink.

Bobby: 1:03:06

I thought about that today when it does fully open. Like when it does happen, though. Yeah, we're able to get into bars. It's gonna be lines. It's gonna be crazy. I'm telling you every single batshit fucking talk about apes and monkeys and chat. I'm gonna people are going to go on vacation. Honestly, I think we should have a hall pass. But with the pandemic, like every should have a moment and be able to just get fucked by whoever the fuck they want. Do you know I'm saying Michael Michaels like you just can't happy and I'm like, oh, you're trying to you know, I'm jealous. No,

Jim: 1:03:35

that's the thing is you both have to be okay with giving a hall pass.

Unknown: 1:03:37

I can't. I get too jealous. And Amy, babe. Okay. Okay, final thoughts.

Bobby: 1:03:43

So we did our final thoughts. And yeah, make sure you follow us share us and be a part of our team.

Jim: 1:03:50

And if you want to see this whole,

Bobby: 1:03:52

give us five stars and go to this core folder next. Honestly,

The Miz: 1:03:58

Jim, you've not reposted anything under this core.

Unknown: 1:04:02

Oh my god, you

Bobby: 1:04:02

posted a bald head.

Jim: 1:04:06

Post. My Deacon Jim is

Bobby: 1:04:08

coming around. I'm telling you God gotta listen. Jim's about to be like full face full beat up for the gods. Going to talk about next week is hotels. Because there's something about a hotel.

Unknown: 1:04:20

I used to, like

The Miz: 1:04:24

Boston, I used to have all my hookups at hotels.

Bobby: 1:04:27

Yep. Me too. And Columbus,

The Miz: 1:04:29

I would have run out hotel rooms big Hey, meet me here with with Mike. No.

Bobby: 1:04:34

I've met up with plenty of businessmen that were like, and I was like, kind of like, I'm like, you blow me. I'm not touching. You bet. You're gonna fucking do everything to me. I'm just gonna lay here.

The Miz: 1:04:43

See, I could never do that. I couldn't

Bobby: 1:04:44

but these men were strange. And they were like, and so to me, it was a hot flight. Again, it's the control thing I'm telling you. I

Jim: 1:04:52

mean, while I want to do it,

The Miz: 1:04:53

right, I could never get blown by any so

Bobby: 1:04:56

I want to I want to win, right? So I want to do that. I want to do that. To the to the guys on campus. You see I'm saying it's like a it's like a fall. So I want somebody to do that to me that's older than me, so I can do it to somebody. Oh, that's like, really? creepy. Yeah, it's kind of like a sexual like weird sexual ring of life. Like you always want somebody older. Have you not hadn't wanted somebody older in your fucking asshole? Here's what you're asking coming on, like just being like, no, like being in control, like grabbing into they're older and they're like, oh, you're like, Oh, God,

The Miz: 1:05:27

I just want ever Yeah, that's like my typical preference.

Bobby: 1:05:31

But I'm saying you don't ever but then you also want to say,

Jim: 1:05:34

Do you ever want to grab ass and eat it? Or you want their ass een?

The Miz: 1:05:40

Only if they're in business clothing. Oh,

Bobby: 1:05:43

there's something about if you want to talk about Wall Street, you want to talk about suits. You know what I love is when they were whitey tighties to Oh, yeah. Oh, you want to get me going? Give me hard. Well, well, everybody. Thank you so much for joining us on this Wednesday. This has been another episode of She's Not Doing So. Well. I'm

Unknown: 1:06:01

Bobby. I'm Jim. I'm the man.

Bobby: 1:06:06

Thank you for joining us for another amazing episode. We will see you next week.

The Miz: 1:06:11

We'd love the fake clapping.

Bobby: 1:06:13

And last episode. I love the fake clap I'm sorry. I love and last episode millennial and a 10% chance of coming back but we got them back. What is the chances this next week? I think we're at 25%. We'll see you next week.

Unknown: 1:06:29

Saying that.

Jim: 1:06:31

It's like Bobby's fantasy 40% with his boss.

Bobby: 1:06:34

We're getting up there and my fantasy. Who knows? No, come on the roof roof. Oh, I only know the remix with Trina. Trina.

Unknown: 1:06:45

Yeah, I want to I want to all right. Click stop. let it load. Thank you for listening to another episode of She's Not Doing So Well. Leave a message with questions or comments at 669-207-4643 Don't forget to subscribe and check out our links in the podcast description of this episode. This has been a house of breath production