I Filled A Ziploc Bag With Vaseline

Jim: 0:01

Have you been watching recently that that just popped out? My god, I'm soaking through the sheet

Unknown: 0:25

Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of not Well, I'm Joe McGillicuddy. And I'm Billy and we're here before Bobby Nigut here to talk about forge LA.

Jim: 0:33

And we love this country. Just wanted to talk about what we will talk about Trump. Oh, Trump first. Okay, well, first of all, the courts have overturned Roe v. Wade, Jesus, because these babies these poor babies are getting murdered and pulled out of the womb and dismembered in front of everybody. Thank God. Or wait. Thank God for the

Unknown: 0:53

for the returning. Yes, that's right, Billy. Did you go fishing today?

Jim: 0:57

I did. I caught a sewer rat and I ate it. And that

Unknown: 1:01

sounds about right. How do you so bad you're such a little whore.

Jim: 1:07

Don't use language like that Jesus machine.

Unknown: 1:10

So how are you going to celebrate the Fourth you gonna go see some fireworks?

Jim: 1:13

I'm gonna shoot some off hopefully take your finger off too.

Unknown: 1:16

But I did happen to Cletus the other time. Poor clean or clean.

Jim: 1:20

And Terry, we told Terry back it up. Terry put it in reverse.

Unknown: 1:24

Yeah, and now Melinda. She can't get fingered by Cletus anymore because he lost his fingers.

Jim: 1:29

And well, he lost the long one. But he has the other studies and she doesn't like his dick. She likes it. She likes them. And is that what she's with? You know who? Cletus on the side? You We all saw him together. We know we are here together at the diner. They were at the park trailer park. Oh, honey. God

Unknown: 1:50

so so happy Fourth of July.

Jim: 1:53

Happy fourth to our garden country. This is the chosen country for being Jesus season. And this is basically his second birthday. And it's like

Unknown: 2:04

Lauren barber said was that her name? Laura. Bobert be Burt the one with the big tits the one that slug hat she's like Sarah Palin but not a young

Jim: 2:13

Sarah Palin one you'd still fuck yeah, Tucker. We play right now at that pro life convention you did? You were in the hotel room with her and we went pro life alright,

Unknown: 2:23

but we didn't have to get an abortion.

Jim: 2:24

What should finish we're not paying for that. No. paid for that one. We were at the Robert all abortions at the pro life convention last year. Thank God through through thank God for trying to

Unknown: 2:37

hang my pants. I don't know how long we can be country for how hard we can do better women is then country. We're like, yes. Fuck me. But as men we're like, Okay, well, this has been

Jim: 2:51

well, I hate men. fucking suck. I could say

Unknown: 2:58

like, you can say that. Billy, is that your name again? I forgot Billy Ray.

Jim: 3:04

Cyrus. Yes. Yes, you look.

Unknown: 3:07

Okay, well, I'm glad I spent these money on this week for five minutes. They were cheap as better they feel. They have a rat's tail. Tail. Oh,

Jim: 3:19

girl. Did you get a perm? Oh, didn't get it. I got a Jheri curl in the spirit of inclusivity Jheri curls are bad, honey.

Unknown: 3:30

Holy dead All right, I'm gonna go fuck my wife now and hopefully she'll get pregnant cuz we're gonna have to then pay for it and like talk,

Jim: 3:39

but you can't have an eighth child. You can't afford they gotta get on board trailers a double wide, but it's not triple wide. Honestly, we're trying to gather that park. Oh, really? Yeah,

Unknown: 3:47

we're trying to get towed. going. Up down on yonder. Done. Yeah.

Jim: 3:50

What's your like, your life, like,

Unknown: 3:53

never gonna be able to get some dinner every once in a while. We're trying to downsize from our triple wide to our double. We might live on our pontoon actually, for just a second. While we get the trailer unrooted out of the ground, we got to get it out and then go on truck and push it down the highway. Why? Oh, yeah, we gotta get a wide load site to get that wide load. I got to drive the F 150 behind it and make sure that everyone knows it's a wide load going through.

Jim: 4:22

Well, honey, if your wife's in the car, they'll know. But

Unknown: 4:24

thanks for fucking Thanks. Let's go Brandon. Because now our gas prices are high. It's called your wife a wide load. She is a fucking fat bitch. Isn't the Popeyes

Bobby: 4:34

we don't have the How did you

Jim: 4:36

spend $80 just got pizza sampler for drinks. So that seems kind of weird for 40 for you to eat dinner and get two drinks like that's normal. It wasn't like I have like, top shelf with tip though. Like 80 Yeah, with tip. I did $12 tip. Now we did see some people there that were higher than hell. And it wasn't me this time. It was weird to be out at a lesbian bar and see a bunch of gay guys high and it wasn't you and that's the weird part is and they were you and they were eating. They were eating they were muffed diving and they loved it.

Bobby: 5:09

They did shout out to Rachel the pizza cook.

Jim: 5:13

Shout out pronoun was a runner to be determined.

Bobby: 5:17

She was running. They were running. We were running. I was running.

Jim: 5:21

You've never run. There's no way you run, honey. Oh, you did play Basque. If I did that scene, okay. Yeah,

Bobby: 5:29

I thought, hey, you were like I was in shape in ninth grade. What? Au. Au. It's a professional basketball league for the summer for all the good players. I played against Patrick Ewing Jr, who said he was on Team Georgia. He Patrick Ewing was a famous NBA player. This was his son he dunked on Oh, I stopped there. I was

Jim: 5:48

like, how did you play with an NBA player?

Bobby: 5:50

I barely had armpit hair and he was dunking over me so he smelled bad or good at the time, and nobody smells good when you're playing basketball. You

Jim: 5:59

know, I'm saying but did you see bouncing around of the day? Oh, yeah. When basketball. That's like my favorite thing. Those short when they're like shining a little bit but the decline you're like, just a little, little little thing little nub in that little knob and the little knob is good enough for me. So that's why you liked basketball is because of the Nubbins. Okay, yeah, absolutely. So you did run and yeah, Slammers was fun. Slammers is always a vibe. Honestly, I love the bartenders, they love me. Not that they remember my name, but I do remember them. And so we have some things to go over this.

Bobby: 6:32

You have some things I definitely did some writing of the things.

Jim: 6:37

While we're being very specific.

Bobby: 6:40

Oh, so I actually I don't think it's going to happen this week. So I'm not prepared. But starting next week, we are going to read two things. Okay. And I'll be high and interpret, obviously, a, like a verse or two from the Bible. Okay, like that from the start and a page or two of the Constitution. I like that because I've determined that and I'm going to admit, for myself, I'm on my pearls on you are a that I don't really know the Constitution or the Bible devil worshiper. Okay.

Jim: 7:08

Oh,

Bobby: 7:08

if I'm being honest, like I really I know. I know the stories and

Jim: 7:13

I want to go diamond admit something to you. Nobody does, right. But they all talk about it. Like we've got to stick to the Constitution. They've never

Bobby: 7:22

read it. Now. Can you see the preamble? We the People of the United States in order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, ensure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, do ordain and establish this Constitution United States of America? The preamble?

Jim: 7:34

Well, thank God, because I'm not sure you knew the beginning. Just to begin

Bobby: 7:39

here. But yeah, so that's the reality I've realized is that nobody no

Jim: 7:43

wait, is that the Declaration of Independence? No, it's the preamble. Okay, and what's the Declaration of Independence start?

Bobby: 7:48

Oh, my God, I'm hardly sorry for having offended now. That's the

Jim: 7:53

Our Father who art in heaven.

Unknown: 7:54

Hello. Hello, or Hello,

Jim: 7:57

hallowed be thy name.

Bobby: 7:58

Now what is hallowed mean?

Jim: 8:00

Hello means crazy.

Bobby: 8:02

Like on you more. I don't care from blocking them out. Well,

Jim: 8:05

it's not more it's just that you're blocking our sign. I don't care about our sign sick girth. Now, I did want to talk about the bombshell witness that came up on the that was, this was fun. This was a fun week in America was a fun week in America. We got to some validation. We got we learned the truth of what happened on January 6. And it's even more horrible. Everything that we thought and more. It's somehow worse than all the police officers who died that day. Which is, yeah, which is the problem that they don't want to acknowledge. They're like, it was just a little. It was a rally. Yes, it was a rally. Now you killed people. You guys literally had people and your people wouldn't come in because they want to get the weapons taken out. You wanted to hang a vice president. And you said, Well, it's probably good for him or something like that. Like Trump was like, yeah, he gets what he deserves. So yeah, I'm not sure how that that really equates just a protest. No as it you kill people. So anyways, we learned from a witness Cassidy. She is interesting. She came by and she was like, Hey, I'm 25 What's up? She

Bobby: 9:04

came by I didn't know she was that young. And I was like, Oh, so you really are. She's a full fledged Trumper

Jim: 9:09

she's a full fledged Trumper one thing I thought was funny, Isaac, you know, everyone in the government is like, too old to hire at any job. Yeah. And yet they're running the country. Yeah. But then you see these like, 25 year old staffers and you're like, are they the ones actually running the country? which then makes it even more like because you're like you're either way or these 80 year olds with dementia and Congress like actually making decisions or is it the clueless or like clueless John, Hey, baby, why don't you go out there and vote no on this and then they're like, Okay, and they're gonna change my diaper and I'll go out on the floor and argue, are you sure Melinda? Now Cassidy? What did you want me to do? Now

Bobby: 9:42

Cassidy was like literally like steps away from the Oval Office and her office was in there. She was very important person. She was Mark Meadows,

Jim: 9:50

like aide and he's like Chief of Staff, the president.

Bobby: 9:55

So it was a very bombshell of a situation. I think that she's very braved for what she did, but also,

Jim: 10:02

Trump throws things at the wall including catch up.

Bobby: 10:07

And also, he likes to strangle out his own coworkers. So, yeah, I'm calling HR.

Jim: 10:14

He's grabbing the steering wheel from secret security not only to grabbing pussy, he's grabbing steering wells to try to take him out to the Capitol. He tried to get rid of metal detectors at these rallies because he said these people aren't here hard to hurt me, implying they're here. He knows that they have weapons, implying they're going to harm everybody else. He knew he knew they had weapons and he sent them to the Capitol like, Okay, so that's pretty

Bobby: 10:34

say, ladies and gentlemen. Because we know there's no days in them. So in that crowd, ladies and gentlemen, it's kind of my attention. There's a lot of bear spray and knives and there's actually like, semi automatic weapons that you doctored up that you're just gonna walk up to the Capitol with I would like you not to do that.

Jim: 10:51

That's a normal person would say that like that's it. Maybe you shouldn't go do this because you seem a little rowdy. It's a little y'all bused in from Alabama and Mississippi and everywhere else through my

Bobby: 11:01

people, but you won't even sit at the fucking table. These people they're so trapped. They're not.

Jim: 11:05

They're not your people. You're

Bobby: 11:06

like, these are my people. I'm gonna hop in my helicopter and fly back to New York. Honey, these people don't even know what New York nania Let's go to Euro Melania. Let's hop on.

Jim: 11:14

Donald Trump hates these people

Bobby: 11:16

hates him. And so it's embarrassing for me. It's embarrassing for everybody with real validating having her up there. And I my jaw was dropped because I haven't really been watching it that close. But I hear this stuff. You're like, Yeah, I'm like,

Jim: 11:27

Well, no, he's a full criminal criminal like to be indicted. He needs to be convicted.

Bobby: 11:31

And so people ask me why I feel that way. So why why do you feel that way? Why do you feel like he needs to be indicted? Because he needs to be held responsible for his actions because because he's a criminal, because everybody because there's people who aren't criminals that are actually sitting in our jail systems that didn't do anything. So

Jim: 11:46

there's a young black man in Akron, Ohio who got shot 60 times for a traffic violation. And then after he was dead, they handcuffed him to wait for the ambulance that's going on in Ohio for a traffic violation. Meanwhile, Trump causes the death of how many police officers on January 6 By telling his supporters to go with weapons to the Capitol we love Mike Pence and then we laughing happens yeah, it's all that all the Republicans that during his second impeachment by the way second, acquit him saying, No, it's not a big deal. We're not gonna

Bobby: 12:17

but during the insurrection though,

Jim: 12:18

they were all upset they were all sitting there all. Oh my god. Oh, yeah. Like what's the Mark Meadows they're all sending text messages like you've got Karthik on Fox News. Who can't stop talking about Trump is like he's ruining his legacy Marco stop this now. Tell him to call it off. So there's like, it's like the bad and then they all of a sudden, like they all ask for pardons after that day. That's for pardons right after the guilty. Hey, can you get me a pardon? Because I know we're getting in trouble. Yeah. So he's

Bobby: 12:46

guilty, and they knew it. And they had it. And they still know it. They're scared. And I want them to

Jim: 12:51

be. Oh, they should be. And they should. And the Department of Justice should indict them. Absolutely. 100% I think they're gonna bring charges. I think it's got me they better they have this. There's no way this is all for show. And listen,

Bobby: 13:04

I don't like doing this. I don't like talking about this. I would much rather not have a country that's all fucking up in shambles. But here we are. And we have to talk about things like this. We have no choice. We're pro choice. Let's take a quick break.

Unknown: 13:21

Do you ever feel lonely? Have you ever gone a day or more without talking to someone? Hi, I'm Mark and I created the lighthouse to provide a daily dose of warmth and company to anyone who needs it. Whether you're going through something right now, or just need to hear a friendly voice. You're so welcome here. This isn't asleep cast. Although you certainly don't have to pay attention to me. You can just pop me in your ears and we can keep each other company for half an hour. New episodes arrive every weekday. Tap the link in your podcast player to follow the show or head to the lighthouse.fm. I hope to see you there. Just to be clear, Miss Hutchinson, is it your understanding that the President wanted to take the mags away and said that the armed individuals were not there to hurt him? That's a fair assessment. I just want to confirm that. That is when you heard the President say that people with weapons weren't there to hurt him, and that he wanted the Secret Service to remove the magnetometers? That's correct. Mr. Cipollone said something to you, like, make sure the movement to the Capitol does not happen. Is that correct? Mr. Cipollone said something to the effect of please make sure we don't go up to the Capitol Cassidy keep in touch with me. We're going to get charged with every crime imaginable if we make that movement happen. And do you remember which crimes Mr. Cipollone was concerned with? In the days leading up to the sixth we had conversations about potentially obstructing justice or defrauding the electoral account and what happened in the President's veto Go. When the Secret Service told him he would not be going to the Capitol. The president said something to the effect of, I'm the effing president. Take me up to the Capitol now. To which Bobby responded, sir, we have to go back to the West Wing. The President reached up towards the front of the vehicle to grab at the steering wheel. Mr. Engel grabbed his arm, said Sir, you need to take your hand off the steering wheel. We're going back to the West Wing. We're not going to the Capitol on December 120 20. Attorney General Barr said in an interview that the Department of Justice had now not found evidence of widespread election fraud, sufficient to change the outcome of the election. Miss Hutchinson. How did the President react to hearing that news? I first noticed there's ketchup dripping down the wall. And there's a shattered porcelain plate on the floor. The valet had articulated that the President was extremely angry at the Attorney General's AP interview and had thrown his lunch against the wall that you heard the President Mr. Meadows and the White House Counsel discussing the hang Mike Pence chance. They're literally calling for the Vice President's the effing hog. And Mark had responded something to the effect of you heard a pat he thinks Mike deserves it. He doesn't think they're doing anything wrong is rioters chanted hang Mike Pence, the President of the United States. Donald Trump said that quote, Mike deserves it as an American. I was disgusted it was unpatriotic. It was unAmerican. We are watching the Capitol Building get defaced over a lie. Did Rudy Giuliani ever suggest that he was interested in receiving a presidential pardon related to January 6, he did. Miss Hutchison. Did White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows ever indicate that he was interested in receiving a presidential pardon related to January 6, Mr. Moto said seek that pardon? Yes, ma'am.

Jim: 17:24

Oh, that's nice.

Bobby: 17:25

No choice but we're pro choice. So here

Jim: 17:27

we are. In week two of Roe been overturned and we're just watching women already die. A 10 year old girl in Ohio had to travel to Indiana to terminate a pregnancy because she was six weeks and three days old. 10 years old, she was raped by a father. Six weeks in three days, so she's past that six week mark when there's a heart B even though there's no heart it's just so these motherfuckers want a 10 year old which, by the way a 10 that would be in pregnant Kill, kill her kill her. Her pelvis is not ready to have a baby does not spread enough so she's not even through puberty and they want her that is horrifying. When you really think about a 10 year old had to go to another state to get an abortion because of the dramatic

Bobby: 18:08

as it is. Now. We're going to have to like travel her across she's scared for her own life. And at 10 years

Jim: 18:13

old she and the Republicans want to criminalized crossing straight state lines to have abortions. So they want to punish you for federal law then, or would the dateline so that's what the federal government is saying listen, like you know, they came out with travel is up to the Feds right?

Bobby: 18:28

So let's get peed on him.

Jim: 18:30

It's just we're living in a nightmare. We're living in Handmaid's Tale we're living in

Bobby: 18:36

a nightmare. But for everyone and so buckle up because if you haven't been affected yet you will be I'm not

Jim: 18:41

sure what the gas prices are high. So let's ignore all this show. Because it's Biden. Like again, Biden's fault the gas prices are high so that's what I'm mad about. I don't care about little girls dying. I'd rather talk about gas prices Yeah, economy and it's because

Bobby: 18:55

they're gouging us because they're not going to do Oh government

Jim: 18:59

well you love capitalism but you don't want to hold the capitalist accountable for when prices capitalism babes playing demand. lism Oh, you don't like gas prices? Yell at BP and show yeah. Why are you yelling? Why are yelling at the president? He

Unknown: 19:11

doesn't gain his damn fault.

Jim: 19:13

He doesn't get any money from the gas prices. It is so dumb then he gets people mad at him. So why would he want that? No, it's capitalism you say you love it. So here you go. You're gonna have to pay more money to travel and I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. Oh, you don't like the gas price. Don't drive. Don't drive stay home don't drive. Literally stay home have your groceries delivered stay home now. You should have lived closer to work. Oh no. I have to drive 40 minutes every day to

Bobby: 19:39

work well that's because that's your trashy as town

Jim: 19:42

and that's your fault. That's your fault. Choices. Oh, you don't have enough money but forget I don't get choices anymore. So get a better job. Personal Responsibility. You can't afford your bills get a better job. Why don't you do that? They don't want to hear this. They don't want to hear this. They want to blame Biden they don't get a better job. live closer to your job. Spend have less money on gas. And why is that? Why is that not a solution? We always hear about, oh, you got pregnant. It's your fault personal responsibility. But when you can't afford gas we're supposed to take pity on you get a better job, go get an education get a better job. Done. Problem solved. I'm so sick and now

Bobby: 20:20

I have to take an intermission maybe because I need my weed pen. I feel like I need

Jim: 20:23

to to go ahead

Bobby: 20:42

so, just you need like two I would say some fun stories to tell us. That's why I'm puffy. I'm like minimum. So I want to talk about Fourth of July. We just finished fourth of July. Although we hate it, there are some traditions that people do. And I wanted to get your opinion on fireworks like them. Okay, and why?

Jim: 21:00

Here's why I'm not impressed. Look at the people that are impressed by fireworks. And when you once you realize who the people are that are impressed by fireworks and where they sell fireworks and who's buying them. It's not as impressive as you think they are. That's all I have to say. They're super loud they're very annoying they bother pets they pets birds don't go back to their nest when this happens bats global warming distracted it's just like it people with PTSD including our veterans you support the military but you want to fire gunshots into the air nonstop for how long? Just because of a holiday like either make put put out quiet ones. You don't have to make this loud but also Okay, how much money is going towards this? Because again, aliens for red white and boom in Columbus. It's millions of dollars.

Bobby: 21:49

And they're getting that from where?

Jim: 21:51

Precisely Hi,

Bobby: 21:52

I paid for the show. I favorite. Oh you fucking Tom and let

Jim: 21:56

me tell you I was at work so I didn't get to watch it. Millions. So I'm

Bobby: 22:01

glad you but I'm glad

Jim: 22:02

we have it back. Thank God for red white and boom, let's go down there and drink some cheap lemonade. And watch all these trashy people walk around their dirty ass flip flops in our dirty fucking shorts and steal my an elephant ear and a funnel cake and then just watch these fucking fire let's go

Bobby: 22:16

back to Goodell park where we have camped since yesterday to try to make sure we get the spy perfect.

Jim: 22:21

I literally like Oh, Friday morning. I'm like What is right it's embarrassing. What is all this embarrassing? It's like we'll have like camps like I promise you you'll see him to watch the fireworks. Yep. It's just weird for me. It's a little so that's why it how I That's how I feel about fireworks. I'm like, I like the little smoke bombs. I like little poppers I like the things you can do I love poppers a lot of rockets or is that to monitor to get this whole spread? I love those poppers hoppers. No I just I like the backyard ones like you like fighters fun thing little sparklers. A little pack that you buy in the grocery store. That's like a big box filled with different things, explosives for kids. Same thing

Bobby: 23:02

I burned myself on a firework went on to sparkler a sparkler. Oh, so yeah, my opinion on fireworks are like I used to have like this moment where they would shut off and be like, I'm proud to be in America. But I would say there weren't

Jim: 23:15

Katy Perry's

Bobby: 23:20

Katy Perry. No, the thing about it for me is I have a moment of like, wow, I get it. This is gonna sound so fucking cheesy. It's another year that I'm alive to watch another firework show. This is how I used to look at it like oh, this is great. Like, this is like special. Like some people can't see this. They're dead. Okay, you know what? Calm down. Some people can't see this because they're like, calm down.

Jim: 23:42

So you did

Bobby: 23:43

speaking up for the July a lot of people like to grill people at the grill out carcinogens,

Jim: 23:48

carcinogens. All this burnt shit is not good for you. So oak is not good for you. It's not good when you inhale it. It's not good when you eat it.

Bobby: 23:56

Now, my big concern and what I wrote down I watched this show called monsters inside of me. Wait, what? Yeah, it's called parasites. Okay, so it's a show that people get sick and they don't know why. And you just like some random ass like, Oh, you were in the river and a leech crawl up your asshole or whatever it is. Let me tell you one of my irrational fears. Oh, no, I don't. Okay. So you know grills how you need to clean them. And you have those brushes that have metal? Yeah. Oh, yeah. So on the show, somebody's stomach got cut from one little strain of the brush. And they couldn't figure out what was wrong. Internally bleeding came out that that was a now so ever since that day, I've already had I'm not I'm not doing whatever since that day. I've been like I search I mean it fuck I just

Jim: 24:48

saw that as my there's such tiny fibers that you could still literally get torn up right. And that's what a hot dog. Yep. And yeah, well, you probably like eight hot dogs. I actually.

Bobby: 24:58

I'm telling you. I know we like to get We've discussed the fat shaming thing, but I really don't like to eat unless I'm high in that's like ice cream.

Jim: 25:05

But you're also high all the time. So are you trying to come for me? Are you reading me for Phil? Don't make me snatch this wig. Don't make me snatch off that hat. Hoe? Well, cuz there's no way to snatch her out. Yeah.

Bobby: 25:18

So yeah, I think that's really kind of a funny situation for me because I always like and now I'm irrational. Well,

Jim: 25:22

it's funny because I always think about that with fish because I've known people who've had like, a hole in their esophagus from eating fish and accidentally a fishbone got in their esophagus. So they swallow the fish thinking it's fine. And then as it went, like sideways, it like poked a hole in their esophagus and then they can't breathe because there's air in their chest. And this is I know, people have had this happen. I'm afraid of eating fish.

Bobby: 25:43

Yeah, I can see that. Like, I fast. I'm sick. I eaten fish. I don't like eating. I don't eat

Jim: 25:49

fish.

Bobby: 25:50

But you're a fishy bitch. So yeah, I think that's funny. I also then was like, Okay, what else happened on the Fourth of July for me in my life? Okay, and over it. Oh, honey,

Jim: 25:59

do you get fingerbang done. Um, so I was in seventh grade, eighth grade, eighth grade, who's counting? And I was going,

Bobby: 26:06

we went camping. I went camping with my neighbors. They had a camper, if you will. So we went to the lake. And I was like, I'm gonna go. You were groomed? No, but we were walking around. I think we were vaguely I think the boys and I were trying to look into other people's trailers while they're getting naked. But at this point, I'm not really sure. However, something happened to me that I had to go to the restroom. Mind you, I had to go up this huge hill to get to that restroom. So I'm like, I gotta go the restroom guys. When I say restaurant mean this number two, I go we're going up the hill. Let's just say I didn't make it. So I shit myself my first time ever camping in eighth grade and had to go up. So then this is the fucked up.

Jim: 26:48

I'm just freaking out. Because this is like the third time I've heard of you. shitting yourself. I know. And that since I'm a little it's a it's a trend. I

Bobby: 26:55

mean, if that's trending for every 10 years, and I guess I'm on a good streak,

Jim: 26:59

but you're already here. Almost 40 shade button. So that's why I'm worried you're gonna have another shitty moment. Am I gonna be with you? You might and you're up halfway up a hill, up the hill.

Bobby: 27:10

I'm shooting myself. The boys come in. And I'm trying to this is gonna sound really gross. But I'm trying to like clean it out of my underwear for some reason. So

Jim: 27:17

the underwear way? Yeah. Right. But an eighth grade age. Yeah, where you need underwear.

Bobby: 27:21

I didn't think that way. So I did take them off. But I didn't throw them away. This is where it gets hot. This is where I was like, Oh my God, I've got to talk about this. I literally took them back to the campsite. I had toilet paper coming down my leg. I went into the camper, took off my underwear, put them in a plastic bag, rolled them up and put them in my my bag. And I'm thinking these people knew I shit myself

Jim: 27:48

had to smell there's no weight inside the plastic bags not keeping that sent out. They literally

Bobby: 27:53

knew I shit myself. So the next day the dad was going back to the house for quick because we were it was up the street. It wasn't that far swim its way and I was like, Yeah, I didn't run home for something. I brought my bag with me because I was like, I need to grab something from my they obviously knew that. I know. I'm horrified right now. Like I was like, so I went home. So my parents were like doing something. I ran to my house and through those dirty underwear into the washer and started washing them. Why did I need those fucking did underwear? I didn't but I'm gonna keep them. And then I think I hopped in the shower. Like, it was horrifying. And so that's one of my memories. So Fourth of July.

Jim: 28:33

So you just like brought a memory to me. Oh, no. So Oh, fuck. I was one of those kids who wet the bed. Oh, you you're wet my bed wetter wet better. Wet better, as you say. until probably like age 11. Like I was old when I went to one of those fucking kids. No, but like it didn't happen often. Awake. Like wanting to go to the restaurant. No, no, but it would be like twice a year. So up. Yeah, the reason it happened is obviously no anxiety. But from you know what? Being gay, but anyways, so I went to a sleepover at a friend's house and they only live like eight houses down. Oh, wow. And he, by the way, is gay. I can definitely guarantee that confirm he was the first dick I ever saw hard. So his name was Michael. And we I remember like one day we like rode bikes and like went to this like little nature sanctuary. No, he was like, a bit. You won't get your dick out. And I was like, I bet you won't get yours out. That's what I mean. Like, I didn't get mine out. But when he got his out, it was hard. And I was like, looked at I was like, is that? Are you gay? And he like, pulled up his pants again. He's like, you didn't get your result. I was like, Yeah, I was just kidding. And then he was

Bobby: 29:51

like, you live your life. You're like Santa's dick pic and then you don't someone back I always send dick pics.

Jim: 29:58

said you've never sent a dick pic. Oh, that's true. No, but I've never said I would send a dick pic and then not send right but

Bobby: 30:05

still like you're always wanted like takes the dick pic but you don't for

Jim: 30:09

I don't have any dick pics on my phone of myself. Meanwhile, you

Bobby: 30:12

don't take that point down in the shoe damage.

Jim: 30:15

I don't know what you're talking about or what shade you're trying to throw but I

Bobby: 30:18

point down in shoot that's how you take a fucking picture. You point down and shoot and you send it to somebody that Oh, but I don't do that you ever get me to go to fucking Olin mills and have a goddamn like powder up and I don't want it

Jim: 30:29

to look like trash. Like your pics are like, okay, my mortgage banks I guess you're lucky that you've been stalked them to see him. Oh, yeah, you did send them to me in the email. So shade button these buttons are the one problem. Okay, so anyways, I saw my friends Dick and I like a little nature sanctuary, but I went to his house for a sleepover later. And like, I knew something was gonna happen. Not that day, but like later in the summer. So I go over there grooming him, was like grooming him. He's one it was hard.

Bobby: 31:04

He was grooming you. That's why you're homosexual. You got groomed by the local boy. That's not

Jim: 31:11

why it was the uncle. No, just kidding. There was no uncle Cletus. So I go to the sleepover. We like went to the bathroom together and like kind of didn't really show dicks, but kind of were like, almost about to

Bobby: 31:24

like you're peeing in the URL and like, yeah.

Jim: 31:27

And then he's like, I gotta take a shower. So he like gets naked don't don't look takes a shower. And I'm standing there like pee and I'm like, look, obviously looking at who's gonna be paying my dick. I'm looking at his dick. So then like the other two guys were like in the bedroom, like playing video games or something. So then we go back to that room, and we had to sleep on the ground that night. Well, I wet the bed that night. Oh, what the sleeping bag for Dixie? Oh, yeah. After Dixie. I peed right before bed. It didn't even matter. It was literally anxiety. Okay, so I wake up and I'm like, why is the sleeping bag wet?

Bobby: 32:00

Now? Is this your individual lives is your sleeping bag.

Jim: 32:04

Still, I'm like, why is it wet? So I'm freaking out. I wake up I take my underwear. I like don't know what to do. I get rid of the sleeping bag. The carpets wet carpet is wet. So I like put the cement back away like put it by my bookbag and I'm just laying on the ground and trying to soak up the wet. No, I just didn't know what I just laid there until the morning dog morning wakes up and like my The one other guy. The straight guy was like smell. Did you? Did you? Did you pee on the ground? And I was like, No, I don't think so. Okay, so I like somehow my mom comes to pick me up. I leave and then like the guy the gay guys mom whose house we're out like calls my mom and says like, Andrew what the bed? Like tell him not to be embarrassed. Everything is fine. So my mom told me I'm like, This is so embarrassing. Like FYI, we're never going back everyone. I didn't I never went back. No, never went back to that house. Once up on the couch. We had a car on the carpet and the carpets wet. And the best part is we're in his dad's office area. So it was like under the dad's desk kind of near the dad's desk. Because the dad walked in and was like, it's wet on the

Bobby: 33:08

How much did you pay? I feel like I feel it would dry up by morning.

Jim: 33:13

It was kind of drive by morning. But they knew it probably was a stain or smelled pee actually, like sometimes pee really staying especially middle of the night pee. Yeah, cuz that's like morning your morning. Morning pee is like concentrated peskiest So I don't know like all the people with piss kings out there love this story. But like for me, it was so embarrassing. That it sounds like you shut yourself I guess myself all the time. I also peed the bad ones at my cousin's house. So like when I say I used to like peed the bed like this. This was like traumatic, but

Bobby: 33:45

that's like humbling where he's like, I'm not gonna sleep with me. What's the bed? Right here that I get a bunk? Yeah, well, that's okay. And you know, I think it kind of checks out that I'm a shit guy. And you're a pet Skye.

Jim: 33:54

Yeah. Doesn't make sense. Like, yeah, I

Bobby: 33:56

don't know why, but it's also like,

Jim: 33:58

it doesn't bother me anymore. It's funny. Like, I didn't even know about it until you told that story. I'm like, Oh, I used to pee the bed. It's funny.

Bobby: 34:03

I haven't thought about that, though. For like, probably 10 years, but you never told that story.

Jim: 34:07

But now I'm like, Oh, I don't know. I have friends who pee the bed now. Yeah,

Bobby: 34:12

that's all I've ever told that story. PS my story.

Jim: 34:15

I've told that story. Except my mom knows. My mom already knows.

Bobby: 34:19

My mom probably knows too. And she's like, why are these half watts she underwear in here wasn't Bobby of the camper.

Jim: 34:24

She probably picked them out of the dryer and she was like trash. I don't know why I couldn't just throw it in the woods and just be done with it and pull off free bullet because then I think I said I want to take it. Oh my god. You want to go take a shower? Because the showers right there too. So like maybe I need to shower. Oh my god. It's so sad. It's scary. It's scary but where people are so awkward. Like imagine if I want to go straight. I would have been like to shoot myself. But we're like, oh my god, we're we're like ashamed. You're

Bobby: 34:52

gonna know I shipped my cylindrical my bottom. At that point. I didn't know but I know. I definitely want to see their winners, too. And actually, every time Another thing to MIT oh my god, I'm having just like going on this is the the opposite of memories. I secretly Oh my god.

Jim: 35:10

Who's winner Did you see when you were a teen?

Bobby: 35:12

So okay, there's like two stories. Actually. One I think my old neighbor I won't say his name. I think he would have definitely stuck my deck. I just want to say that. I just think about like, there's these little weird games used to play and like, even now I feel like I could. I don't know. So anyway,

Jim: 35:29

where the games like little like humpy

Bobby: 35:31

games. What's

Jim: 35:34

harder? Yeah. What are humpy games

Bobby: 35:37

like you had like dry hump me basically.

Jim: 35:40

Like, on the couch or like he was younger than me. So I was the See you would be late or he'd be laying on the couch. And he No, he would just like, yeah, he just like, stand up and start like, yeah, and other people were like, there. We were their friends. Were there too. We're watching Wrestlemania. So that's the first time you were an exhibitionist. Okay. So that makes sense. That's really as you were now, like,

Bobby: 36:01

I secretly so what I was thinking of, there's two scenarios, but every time I get drunk somewhere, and sometimes I do something. I regret it so bad after but

Jim: 36:09

like, oh, same. I always wish great people. Congrats. I'm like, What did I say? Oh,

Bobby: 36:13

I was at a bachelor party. And in Kansas City. I was. I didn't know anybody there. I got brought. I wasn't out yet. And so I got invited to go to the bachelor party because I knew the woman was getting married or whatever. So like, she's like, you just go. I think I was like, 22 Maybe?

Jim: 36:32

I'm sorry, I haven't freaking out. picture of how 22

Bobby: 36:36

Oh, maybe we were so maybe we could put something in the frame every should I get a screen screen something in the frame. It's

Jim: 36:41

already green. So there you go. Oh, okay.

Bobby: 36:44

So basically, long story short, there's we went out to all these bars and I think we had like a Winnebago or some kind of we got like a big party bus or something. Okay, well, I remember this guy would like flirt with me. I feel like something happened. But I don't remember cuz I was drunk. Does that make sense? All the young drunks, like when you get drunk when you were younger? It was like, hard to remember things. And you were like, Yeah, you're

Jim: 37:03

blacked out all the time at 22. I was done.

Bobby: 37:07

I decided that when I was drunk that I would. I don't know if I messaged him on Facebook, or I don't know if I had his phone number. But I was like, hey, and I like my intention was to totally like hook up with him somehow. And so long story short, nothing, you know, he never responded. But the next day at the wedding, he was there. And I thought, oh my god,

Jim: 37:30

I worse. Yes. Yes. So what did you do? So basically, at the end of the day, I don't know what prompted me to be like he, I think he thinks I'm gonna be hopper. You know, I like had this a crush on him. Because we were like playing in front of each other. And I remember I saw this deck. I love it. It was like going a different way. Why now? But like, sometimes they show you sometimes you're literally playing with a guy and they're like, I've been really drunk though. Like we're Yeah, there was like, Oh, my God. I'm having some flash drive right now that you're freaking me out. Because like, there was this guy. Okay, yeah. Keep going. So what happened?

Bobby: 38:04

So nothing. I didn't even that's the first time I've ever told that story. Like, I never, like I got home and I was drunk in the bed like trying to text him like, Hey, man, I met and I'm like, Oh my God, if He like, wasn't that drunk, but I just thought he was like, you know, I'm saying how can like read it wrong. Basically, he's just been a straight guy, like, broken it up. And I'm like, he likes me how? And nobody knew. So then I'm like, Oh my God. If some if he tells somebody they're gonna know that I'm gay. That's where it was like, it was like a whole. It was very scarring horrifying. Oh, my God. Now that happened. But there's also something triggered just now. When I had my first apartment, we had parties, these parties that were drunk.

Jim: 38:43

Everyone's over. There's only one bathroom y'all to share.

Bobby: 38:47

So there was a guy upstairs. That came down and he brought his friend. And his friend was kind of an asshole. And to be honest, he was kind of like, edgy and like an asshole. But he's definitely an athlete. Everybody was going to bed. But we were outside smoking cigs. And I remember this, but I was also so drunk. I don't remember. Do you know I'm saying when I say that brown doubt. Yeah, like, what I don't remember how we got to the point of I had his dick in my hand. I was given a hand job. I thought he's gonna kill me. Like he was that kind of a guy. He was like a, I drove a big truck, fully Republican, probably guns, hunting, all the nine yards. And I was I remember we were like, he pulled out his dignity. I was I was like, and that was like my first like,

Jim: 39:26

oh, no, I'm Oh, now I know. I'm having like flashbacks. Yeah, well, like

Bobby: 39:30

we have trauma that we have to deal with his gaze. And we don't know

Jim: 39:33

how sad is it that like you had these moments. I had moments just like that. Like where I was like, Adam, no irony. And then like, next thing like I was at this party, a house party and undergrad. And there was only one bathroom available. And obviously there's like 50 people in like a two bedroom apartment. And so like there were three guys with the piano like we they're like telling I'm going in and the other two guys just barge their way in. And so like I was like, oh my pain in the sink and like the two guys were like already walked into the two are like, No, you can pee in the toilet with us gross. So like I had to go pee with them which this is probably where my like pee shy comes from, like so I actually did start peeing somehow. And I'm like, staring at their dicks peeing, like literally looking around at you probably, like one started going like this. I thought we were about to hook up all three of us and I didn't know because I'd never hooked up with like, anyone. Three, two people, obviously that's my first that would be my first threesome. I was I was young as hell, first of many, very many. And then like someone knocked on the door, and so they like took their hand down and like finished peen. And I was like, what just happened? You have these moments where you're like, Mike, what is going on in my life? I know you're gay. You don't know you're gay, but they know that they know you're Yeah. Before you do, right? And they're like, that's why it's like it's obviously not a choice because How do other people know before we know I know. Like in grade school and in high school people were calling me gay and I never knew I was

Bobby: 40:55

honestly I don't know what the streets are afraid of. If gays are grooming kids are going to be straight.

Jim: 41:00

Exactly. They're gonna go the other way. Yeah, like it's funny to work use because I'm gay.

Bobby: 41:07

And I'm again I stand by my point of I think all men would hook up with men if they didn't have to do like if society was allowing women would just

Jim: 41:15

be most men hate women and women hate men straight women hate women, straight women. Men straight men hate women. Think about it. They have more fun going out with the girls and guys, they got more funny guys want to have a guy oh, let's just sit in the basement, watch a sports. But really? If you had a girlfriend who could just reach over and like Billy, let me do this for you. Yeah, you just watched that baseball playoff. And he's like, it's not touching my belly. I'm like bouncing off that belly like a trampoline. You're like, no, stop. But yeah, I think straight guys would jerk off together all the time. If they did, they didn't but also like, if and so they would put on a porno with a woman on and just jerk off and to them it wasn't a

Bobby: 41:51

big deal. But to you. It was huge. And they're gonna know I'm gay. It's my fault. All this is my fault. And really, they're the ones that are doing it.

Jim: 42:03

We're in trouble. And that's

Bobby: 42:04

why we have a thing for straight guys because now we want that time back to participate and not be scared.

Jim: 42:11

Wow, you just had a breakthrough. I did. Oh, my breakthrough.

Bobby: 42:19

Breakthrough. I just had like a very we did wrong moment. Babe.

Jim: 42:25

We had a moment. A moment that many it will resonate with many.

Bobby: 42:29

I think it well. So well. Not only do we talk about sexual experiences, but pooping and paying.

Jim: 42:34

I was called for she's just facetious. Yeah, and I little liar. Like making things up.

Bobby: 42:40

I don't know. That's not that is facetious, fellas. I thought it was like, sarcastically No, maybe that's not the word I'm looking at. facetious. Hold on, I gotta get the definition because that's not what I read. No, it's

Jim: 42:54

you're being facetious. Yeah.

Bobby: 42:56

Treating serious issues with deliberately inappropriate humor. flippant.

Jim: 43:00

Okay. What? facetious is this word? I'm thinking, man. I think you're thinking of fellatio. Fascist? Oh, my God. No, I don't know what I'm saying. No, I

Bobby: 43:12

know. I know. I think. Yeah. Wow. Anyway, so who caught you that? Well, I heard them talking. I don't think they knew that I heard but they were like, is he always that facetious. And I'm like, Well, what does that mean? So I googled, I was like, who said that? One of my co workers who had asked me a question. I was like, he's like, thanks for all your help. And I was like, I guess I helped. Okay.

Jim: 43:32

That's not facetious. You're not really sure how you helped. Well, I

Bobby: 43:35

did help. But I wasn't it wasn't that dramatic.

Jim: 43:37

But you were like, literally did everything for you. So you're welcome. So yeah,

Bobby: 43:41

I was called that I'm thinking oh, you're looking at your watch because you're already rushing out.

Jim: 43:46

I just turned my hand like that to rest.

Bobby: 43:48

Yeah. So am I facetious. I think the whole podcast is that's what I think it's funny that's us like we are we are that we embody that

Jim: 43:55

we should have called the podcast for Shisha Yeah. Like it used to be an insult. Like I've heard that word before. has dozens. Yeah, and I thought that way a little show what I thought and now I'm like listening to it. The actual definition. I'm like, how is that insulting? Because trust me, I don't give a fuck. You don't give a fuck. flippin Aha. That's my middle name. Flip it.

Bobby: 44:13

That's my second name. Jim flippin batch. Bobby. Fucking bitch. Griffith

Jim: 44:20

was like, where's Griffith? No, you're facetious. Yeah, so

Bobby: 44:24

I'm fussy c'est fascist.

Jim: 44:27

You're a fascist.

Bobby: 44:27

I'm a facetious fascist.

Jim: 44:30

You've just made words out.

Bobby: 44:31

I can't see shirts because she's

Jim: 44:35

facetious. facetious. I can't say it again. Say it fast. I'm wearing Shosh Shaw.

Bobby: 44:43

Yeah, so anyway, that I think though I don't know why even brought that in fucking I don't know why I brought them up. For some reason I wrote down

Jim: 44:50

either it's time

Bobby: 45:13

It's time for

Jim: 45:14

wheat journal. We're still,

Bobby: 45:20

we're still on the microphone. So I only have two items this week. I know you were

Jim: 45:27

more than twice bid you're not you're not keeping up with the journal.

Bobby: 45:30

I always like to just like, I need to embrace the thoughts as they come and I can't force it, gentlemen. Now, I don't know why and some of the stuff I forget. So here we go. Okay, capture the fag. like capture the flag, but it's fag.

Jim: 45:48

Okay, so I think this can be I can I'm just picturing big guy, man. Straight Guy. So

Bobby: 45:54

what you shoot me as I run around. So like, so here's the game. Here's the game. Oh, I'm here with my nipples. You have our bag on both sides. Okay, okay. They're the captains. There's a group about 100 straight guys in front of like, really built like, whatever and you pick the your teams to then come capture you and whoever wins wins a million dollars.

Jim: 46:14

Yeah, but who's gonna put 1,800,000 So everyone puts in 50 bucks.

Bobby: 46:21

Wow, presents. Capture the fag.

Jim: 46:25

Alexandria Beverly Hills. You're gonna get some makeup if you win this. You

Bobby: 46:29

won. $5 to Applebee's. Oh, thanks. I think that just did nothing for me. Can we get a margarita?

Jim: 46:37

Well, actually, they're $1 margaritas or is that chili? There's a place as yeah where he's be I think there is like literally a place as dollar margaritas now. Now they are. It's literally just sugar water. Like their shots in there.

Bobby: 46:55

But you get so drunk, then you have like heartburn horribly later? Only if you're over 30

Jim: 47:00

Yeah, this is a disclaimer. Okay. Okay, so capture the facts. Sounds fun to me. I

Bobby: 47:05

play so we're gonna start new that maybe we should the facts and we should pick three guys. My team would win better. We they'd win because they capturing them like run fatty and

Jim: 47:15

you have to be tackled to the ground there. No way they're tackling you because you pick a bunch of dumb 20 There's no way they tackle you.

Bobby: 47:20

I have a bunch of Burley's I wrote this. And I know what it's about. Can you imagine getting stern with your classmates from 2002 on Facebook for not signing up for the reunion? Hmm. I think what I was thinking as I was I was wow, like, here I am. I worked my nine to five and with my doctor partner, and I'm I'm scrolling through Facebook. Hi, as far as 20 year reunion, there's all of a sudden there's a fucking post from on the Woodstock high school thing. And it's like, if we don't get any of you guys to buy tickets, then we're gonna have to up the price. And I'm thinking it's because nobody wants to go You dumb horse.

Jim: 48:05

Yeah, like, no one wants to go to this again. Can

Bobby: 48:08

you imagine? That was like, I can't imagine what I'm doing coming home from my day getting hind legs. You guys are such fucking asshole.

Jim: 48:15

This hotel is not gonna host us for $200 They want 2000 You better sign up to go to the Hilton downtown. of you know, calm we're going out to Brian.

Bobby: 48:25

Imagine that's the thing. I was like, these are like, this is like straight people like

Jim: 48:29

I know their life. Straight life. Straight life is preparing for the next five year reunion like, oh, it's our 20 year reunion. Are you ready to go honey? It's when we met in high school. It was like six. I don't understand. I don't know any. We have to find a babysitter. That's amazing. To me finding a babysitter. You're like,

Bobby: 48:47

did you ever babysat? Oh, yeah, that's how I think.

Jim: 48:51

Oh, yeah. I babysat money. One time I got okay. So one time I babysat this, like these two kids that were great. They went to bed at nine they read books. They were so easy to watch. And the parents say oh, so midnight and give me like 60 bucks. Okay, but one time the family dog bit me on the chin as it was like on the stairs and I was like coming up the stairs. I'm like, Oh, Hi, buddy. And it was like, bit me on the chin. Is that why you have a scar? Yeah, I have one here. Bleep Bleep Bleep Bleep. I had to go to urgent care get stitches. So we did call the parents were out at dinner right now. My mom was like, Yeah, we're taking we're taking Jim's urgent care because he has a dog bite from your dog. Turns out two weeks later, we found out the dog has cancer and his dying so they put him down. It was your fault. I'm like, did you put him down because he bid me or did you put them down because he had cancer? Cancer? I hope because I didn't care about the dog. I was like, I don't care. I got paid. They gave me extra got$100 At night I was like yeah, bite me every time baby. I was like literally like don't sue us please. I was like let the dog bite me. I

Bobby: 49:48

don't give a bite me. I had a baby sitting story. Love babies. So bad. It's bad. Not like in a week.

Jim: 49:56

Okay, I was like, let's not reveal everything.

Bobby: 50:00

So one time I was babysitting and the kids were in bed and I was in the parents bedroom

Jim: 50:06

and I'm sorry in their snooping. What door did you open?

Bobby: 50:10

It was in the bathroom and the they had Okay, so this is they had ultra thin condoms. So what did I do

Jim: 50:19

but when on a one on what did you I always jerked off. I always did that name horrible. Probably floating back up. He probably came home and tried to pee and he like list at the toilet seat. He's like there's a condom filled with come in here. Honey, who did you fuck while I was?

Bobby: 50:37

got divorced? Yeah, actually. Like, but I'm staring looking like so one of the things that I think was is I was like, Wait thin like he has a thin deck is what I know. Yep. I think I was like,

Jim: 50:58

they raised him right in Georgia.

Bobby: 51:01

When they were calm, fucking blacked out. Have to try me. Oh, that was

Jim: 51:06

when I was babysitting after the dog. Yes. I babysat before that and like the husband came home and drove me home. And I was like, he's like going 60 on a 50. And just like, I'm gonna die. I got home one night at like midnight. My mom's like, how are you? I was like, my guess I'm alive. I'm like for a

Bobby: 51:24

really awkward situation. If you really think about that, like, I'll take the babysitter home. Honey. Duff fuck. Oh, no wonder there's so much

Jim: 51:32

shimmy. Those dads are like, I'll take the babysitter. Oh, I think about that. Talk about grooming. Talk about but I do have a question. Like, why was it like every, at least every gay guys dream to like jerk off in condoms? Because every time I found a condom as a teenager, I would jerk off in it. Like if I found a condom or someone gave me a condom. I wasn't using them to have sex. I don't know jerking off. Because it was it was like it caught the come. Well, you could like fuck a bunch of pillows with a condom on it like oh man, but yeah, no mas. No mas.

Bobby: 52:01

No mas.

Jim: 52:02

No mas. Like you just put the condom on you do whatever you want. I used to think it was like, Why did you do it?

Bobby: 52:07

I think part of me was like, it was curious that it would actually fit. Like I've never seen

Jim: 52:14

because you're so big. Okay, I've seen it, honey, honey. That's not what I'm saying. Okay, good. Because I was like, let's not spill the tea too much. What? What tea? White tea? You had to get the ultra thin, didn't you? No,

Bobby: 52:27

no, I'm Connie. I don't have a horse cock.

Jim: 52:33

You don't have a donkey

Bobby: 52:34

have a little little knobby. What was I saying? Oh, god dammit. Would you ask me just want to see if condoms would fit? Because he never seen it. Yeah, so yeah, so like, but then that will make me horny thinking and then are the

Jim: 52:46

guys dicks I assume? Yeah. Well, I did that. Yeah, I just think it just made. You're like, ooh, these are fun. Fun, but sex with the winner puts on my two fingers and showed up

Bobby: 52:55

my whole I didn't but

Jim: 52:58

you were a total bottom even at age 12. I knew I had

Bobby: 53:01

no I mean I did you ever do any homemade sex toys? I tell you the story. I had to have

Jim: 53:06

strokers Yes. Like I filled a Ziploc bag with Vaseline. And then I stuck it between the mattress and the bed spring hopefully. Yep, I know that move and then just got on my phone and good luck trying to fuck between a mattress bed spray like a box spring. I can't think of the name. I know. I'm getting. I don't know you're recovering from it. You're recovering from pride. I am recovering from Pride. Now it's straight pride now um, but yeah, what sex way did you make

Bobby: 53:33

so I can't I've never told this my mom used to get zucchini and all right on zucchini or cucumber.

Jim: 53:40

Oh no. And I was on AOL about this. That tell the story. No, no, I forgot about

Bobby: 53:48

so I took the cucumber Atlas long story short. haul that bitch out. Put in the microwave for 15 seconds. put Vaseline in it put it between the mattress and fuck the shit out of my mom's cucumber

Jim: 54:06

fuck you are so fucked up What a freak out of cucumber. How thick was the cucumber or how tiny is your dick?

Bobby: 54:15

No, it was tiny.

Jim: 54:16

I actually like an English cute oh you're also well there's also

Bobby: 54:19

another eye for this part. You wrap it in duct tape so that when you do break it though it like holds it together? Because you're welcome out.

Jim: 54:29

We need to ask straight men if they were doing this. Like we were straight Misha where they heated pumpkins after like Halloween and like fucking pumpkins and gourds I literally don't know where they really like this. Happy Thanksgiving I'm thankful for this turkey I'm gonna go chi lo I'm gonna cut

Bobby: 54:46

the turkey this year guys. I'm gonna get up real early so don't worry about it. Oh

Jim: 54:52

wow, this season is really good son. What did you put in here? My fucking combat. You're eating my car and I put it under the Skin and held down the skin and went between the skin and the meat. Oh, that's not butter Malia what

Bobby: 55:06

kind of feel kind of like a like a little comment.

Jim: 55:09

The mom's like this tastes like your father Billy. Is this your father's seasoning? No, she just it's mine. Bill. Bill. What did you do with the Turnigy with

Bobby: 55:17

a turkey again? We'll go a little chicken. Chicken Do you eat dark meat? Oh you anti meat. Do you eat we only like lightning.

Jim: 55:30

It's weird though because I'm like Asia they love dark meat

Bobby: 55:33

right and Asian Yeah, like an Asian dishes like

Jim: 55:35

you're gonna die you're getting like delicious dark meat because it's delicious. It is about and wrapped on that I used to love when I ate meat. I liked the dark meat more because I would eat it like a chicken breast is always dry as hell no flavor. covering it and barbecue with dark

Bobby: 55:48

meat has a different kind of a gaming taste. Ah, so oily like

Jim: 55:52

it's oil. It's fatty. It's fattier, it's what I need well I'll get me and look what happened I happen I guess dark means better for you.

Bobby: 56:00

So I'm going to do a wrap it up but I want to do like a little like rapid fire questions maybe like okay, like we're just trying to get a snippet

Jim: 56:09

I love it. Let's just snip it honey

Bobby: 56:13

it's already July so make sure you cool down and

Jim: 56:18

get ready for disability month. Bobby has a disability he's creative that's a phrase that he uttered about a month ago so not happy National Disability month

Bobby: 56:30

happiness disability month for all

Jim: 56:37

Nope. Honey.

Bobby: 56:38

I wish we could leave it they know I wish it could be bad

Jim: 56:43

I wish it could be bad.

Bobby: 56:46

I wish we could be bad.

Jim: 56:48

I wish we could just get our declawed on my Tylenol hurts. What if we did an entire episode just completely make it sitting on this bed? Well Sarina Well, honestly, anything about it, but just sat there. That's what we're gonna. Yeah,

Bobby: 57:00

we're gonna have to be like weird slightly worse videos and sit here. Oh, that's

Jim: 57:03

a good idea.

Bobby: 57:04

But people like big titties.

Jim: 57:07

Oh, yeah. The straight men have come straight. Straight. Darren, are

Bobby: 57:15

you love a hairy to? Oh, yeah, they like tips, though.

Jim: 57:19

Thank God. Someone does. Have you ever wondered whether there's chub chasers made? So if you ever wonder why do we have partners? I mean, just saying. If people didn't like titties, we wouldn't have partners. So that's all I'm saying.

Bobby: 57:30

So this has been another episode of not well. I'm Bob B.

Jim: 57:35

I'm Jim II.

Bobby: 57:37

Thank you. Goodbye.

Jim: 57:39

May