I Wish I Could Glitch Out Of This Bitch (Simulation Theory, Funeral Arrangements, Lube, Organisms)

Bobby: 0:00

Y'all my main question mango came my way or hopefully I find a Rachel and like Joe was saying up head on there my username and star that is in a prayer circle 24

Unknown: 0:13

I'm kinda excited about it my about me says the Lord isn't the only thing I get on Mondays for. Like saved

Bobby: 0:27

I say how let's go Wish me luck. Welcome to She's Not Doing So Well Comedy podcast featuring Bobby. I don't want to be viral. I want to be inspirational and life changing. Because Listen, I'm at a GE

Jim: 0:45

gym at the top. What can I say? Finally he's just like, you can unfollow me if you don't like my body.

Unknown: 0:52

The Ms.

The Miz: 0:53

Oh my god, tell me all about a

Unknown: 0:56

You're right.

The Miz: 0:57

But you like mushroom shape?

Bobby: 1:05

Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of She's Not Doing So Well. I'm Bobby.

Unknown: 1:08

I'm Jim. And

Bobby: 1:11

I just love throwing it off. But also I think it's really fun. The gym actually like does what I do. And I just started noticing that recently like you probably don't have the whole time I just didn't notice

Jim: 1:19

always every episode.

Bobby: 1:20

So every week I'm starting to change up like volume Bowlby. And I miss I miss the mass on brand on brand. Hello, Happy Wednesday. Welcome to the show.

Unknown: 1:33

Happy Wednesday.

Bobby: 1:36

This will be out on Wednesday cuz last week it was delayed a little bit.

The Miz: 1:39

It was delayed for an unknown reason.

Jim: 1:42

9am on the die cut in I was crying in my room.

Bobby: 1:45

I was at the lab. It was Michael's birthday on Tuesday. So we went

Unknown: 1:51

ski No, I

Bobby: 1:52

just it was ski Well, let's you call me Monica Lewinsky.

Jim: 1:59

Sure ski if the dress fits. If the dress has come

Bobby: 2:03

on, I go with that in your style. And mine does literally. Yeah, Mikey's part that was good. What was I saying?

Jim: 2:09

Oh, it was really too late.

Bobby: 2:11

So editing was really difficult this week. As you guys know, the topic was just like, a lot going on. And I didn't want to, like it was actually an hour and 40 minutes, and I brought it down to an hour and eight because there's a lot of light

Unknown: 2:23

when you cut out yelling,

Bobby: 2:25

just there was some stuff actually, I want to talk about, like I was like, you know, like before we get started bareback, which I'm telling you right now, it's gonna be a fucking shit show. I'm hoping my edible hits any moment now. But I want to be able to talk about the last episode, sort of like if you have like a rebuttal or a fix. That's I'm saying, I'm not saying that you have to have one today. I'm not saying but what I want to say is I started questioning that episode. And I don't know why. Well, I do know why. Because I was sticking up for the black community. And the reason why that upsets me is that I then thought to myself, am I using my privilege to try to like mansplain and white splain? What it's like to be black. Do you know what I'm saying? Because I was like,

The Miz: 3:05

yeah, you know what you're saying? I don't think my point of view is ever came from a point of race. It was more like, I don't think that he's doing anything groundbreaking from an LGBTQ perspective.

Bobby: 3:15

Right. So I think for me than me explaining the black community like cool, that's great, but like, also, I feel like that's like me. mansplaining like how women feel like, I don't know, I can't judge it. So anyway, that would be my one. Like, I don't know, it wasn't bad. Like, I got, like, I was like, Oh my god, I hope this isn't like gonna come off as bad, but my intentions are always good. So anyway, we're moving forward, but I just want to make that little comment here at the very beginning.

The Miz: 3:37

Yeah, my rebuttals had doubled down on my stance. So

Bobby: 3:40

what sounds like Jim did too. So um, well, I really hope we don't have to bring up that motherfucking. Wow. Again this week, so we do,

Unknown: 3:48

okay. I mean, hot,

Bobby: 3:49

like really hot. Okay. Okay, so bareback and Bobby's gonna be really intense. So they're gonna have to listen to an audio clip. That's about four minutes long that I produced, because I was afraid that I won't be able to explain it correctly. Because you know how I go. I'm like, I forgot what I was saying. What and then everybody confused. So I'm going to hit the bareback button, and I'm going to hit the audio button right away. I'm going to actually turn me and me and Jim down, because Jim will fucking talk the whole time. Yep. So I'm gonna turn us down. But I just want you to listen to this as much as you can. It might be a little boring at times, we'll just try to soak it all in. Okay.

Unknown: 4:35

We know Bobby is a little bit crazy with his ideas, but this should really be a good bare backing for you. What is simulation theory? The simulation hypothesis or simulation theory is the proposal that all of reality, including the earth, and the rest of the universe, could in fact be an artificial simulation, such as a computer simulation. Some versions rely on the development of a simulated reality, a proposed technology that would be able to convince its inhabitants that the simulation was real. The simulation hypothesis, there's a close resemblance to various other skeptical scenarios from throughout the history of philosophy. Here are a series of simple propositions that can lead you to the seemingly logical conclusion that we are living inside a simulation. Over the past few decades, video games, CGI graphics, etc, simulations have gotten exponentially better. Think about the first video game you played when you were a kid. And what is available now, assuming humanity doesn't destroy itself, technology will keep on advancing. And these simulations will continue to get better. Eventually, these simulations will get so good they will become indistinguishable from reality. Countless simulations will be running leaving, it's statistically more likely that we're in one of these simulations rather than in true reality. You look at our computing power today. And you say I have the power to program a world inside of a computer. Well imagine in the future where you have even more power than that, you can create characters that have for example, freewill, or their own perception of freewill. So this is a world and AI programming the laws that govern that world, that world will have its own laws of physics and chemistry and biology. Now you're a character in that world and you think you have free will and say, I want to invent a computer. So you do, hey, I want to create a world in my computer. And then that world creates a world in its computer. And then you have simulations all the way down. So now you lay out all these universes and throw a dart, which of these universes are you most likely to hit the original one that started it, or the countless simulations, the daughter simulations that unfolded thereafter, you're going to hit a SIM, you're going to hit one of the simulations. So statistically, based on that argument, which first appeared by a philosopher from Oxford named Nick Bostrom, back in the 1990s, right, when computers were becoming real enough to think this through, it's it's hard to argue against the possibility that all of us are not just the creation of some kid in a parent's basement, programming up a world for their own entertainment. And then every time something weird happens in the world, some disruptive leader takes charge. And I wonder if that programmers just got bored, and had to stir the pot. So they throw somebody in there just adjusted for their own entertainment. For me, that's some of the best efforts live in a simulation. Because this happens every time. There's peace and tranquility in the world. And wherever like the strongest argument for the for us being in a simulation, probably being a simulation, I think it's the following that that 40 code 4040 years ago, we had Pong, like two rectangles and a dot. That was what games were. Now, 40 years later, we have photorealistic 3d simulations with millions of people playing simultaneously, and it's getting better every year. And soon we'll have you know, but virtual reality and augmented reality. If you assume any rate of improvement at all, then the games will become indistinguishable from reality, just didn't feel instinctual. Even if that rate of advancement drops by 1000 from what it is right now. Then you just say okay, well, let's mention it to 10,000 years in the future, which is nothing in the evolutionary scale. So So given that we're clearly on a trajectory to have games that are indistinguishable from reality, and those games could be played on any set top box or on a PC or whatever, and they would probably be, you know, billions of such computers to set top boxes, it would seem to follow that the odds that we're in face reality is one in billions. If civilization stops advancing, then that may be due to some calamitous event that erases civilization. So maybe we should be hopeful that this is a simulation because either we're gonna create simulations that are interesting and indistinguishable from reality or civilization will cease to exist. Those are the two options. So basically, we are in a fucking video game and we will never know our life is like the Sims and what reality really is. You just got fully bareback bitch. Now listen to high ass Bobby ramble on about this for 20 minutes where Jim will make fun of him and these will think he is even more insane. Guys,

The Miz: 9:47

no, absolutely not.

Bobby: 9:50

Okay, can I just like explain some things. So I need to hear about

The Miz: 9:54

automation because what I heard, I'll let you explain first.

Bobby: 9:57

Well, so basically what it's saying is that the The way that we are, our trajectory right now is everything's becoming virtual virtual reality. We're on zoom calls, we're on all this stuff to a point where then eventually they'll be able to hook us up our organs up to it or our brain up to the virtual reality thing to where you might end up losing sense of what reality is. And the theory is that that has already happened. So basically, this theory kind of freaked me out all and you're saying so, so do you. Okay, so I

The Miz: 10:26

absolutely AM. And I'm not thinking anything of it. here's, here's,

Bobby: 10:31

here's what started getting me going down a path. Okay. I'm gonna throw a few things at you. So have you ever heard of the Mandela effect?

The Miz: 10:39

I have, but refresh my memory. Okay, so

Bobby: 10:42

I'm just gonna ask you a series of questions right now, both of you. And I want you guys saying

Unknown: 10:45

I mean,

Bobby: 10:46

so do we know monopoly? Right? Yeah, the game and we know the main character. Yeah, I want to be the

The Miz: 10:51

Mr. monopoly.

Bobby: 10:53

Yeah, Mr. monopoly. What does he look like? What does he have on his top hat? What else? Do you have anything on his face?

The Miz: 11:00

He might have like a monocle.

Unknown: 11:03

Yes, no,

Bobby: 11:05

I don't know. Okay. What

The Miz: 11:07

does the evidence face? Nothing.

Bobby: 11:09

But everybody says he has a monocle.

Jim: 11:11

I thought it was a monocle.

Bobby: 11:13

No. So this is what they're saying. There's glitches in the system. Like somebody came back in and forgot like, so we remember things a certain way. So like another thing? What was another one Mike? Yeah. How do you spell The Flintstones? f l

Jim: 11:27

i n? t.

Bobby: 11:31

sto and you'll see You got that right. You're probably looking at something on your website. Not

Jim: 11:35

Flint stones.

Bobby: 11:36

I'm like when you make a fire with Flint Do you know at the movie

Unknown: 11:40

yes extra trust now I don't know the movie.

Bobby: 11:43

Do you know what he says? Like what is famous? Like what's the famous line they already own home? Say the whole line.

Unknown: 11:50

Et phone home okay,

Bobby: 11:52

so et never said that? He said at home phone? home phone?

Jim: 11:57

Yep, we've changed it because of grammar too.

The Miz: 11:59

I think we changed it because of like the whole telephone thing not because of like I'm wanting home wiring our reality

Bobby: 12:07

but what what why are you so confident that it's not rewiring? Are

The Miz: 12:12

you just share with us was like, look at where we are today. Look at where we're going? And not saying like, okay, maybe in like a couple years 1000s of years. We're all going to be in a simulation or

Bobby: 12:23

we are

The Miz: 12:24

no But see, I don't get that argument but mean like by the he one of your quotes was think about the first video game you played as a kid and sees how See how it's, it's progress. Yeah. So yeah, there have been a lot of technological advances. I don't understand how those advances have somehow put us in a simulation

Bobby: 12:46

because what what it's saying is that eventually every single eventually Not now. What makes you think it's already happened? Well, one thing has been everyone fall eventually. Because we so it's like ants in an ant farm they don't know that they that there's a bigger world out there. They think the ant farm is all they are working on saying a better world in the future. No, like side

Unknown: 13:11

side eventually.

Bobby: 13:14

Take a sip. That's right, bitch. Cuz I know what that sip comes after a no, here's the thing.

Jim: 13:21

We do love little NAS x

The Miz: 13:23

Did you just say financially? Or did you not

Bobby: 13:26

know what I'm saying is that it could have already been happening we could either be the first of the reality or we could be in being inhabited by some like we or somebody but we're just in this body or something. But what is in this body? And it's a simulation like once this simulation is over

The Miz: 13:42

evidence was what

Bobby: 13:43

the evidence is in the fact that I don't really know what the evidence is. That's why I played that whole fucking video the evidence

The Miz: 13:48

was like things are progressing. That's what I got from it. Maybe I'm misinterpreting but that's what I got from it. So

Bobby: 13:54

they're saying basically, at the end of the day, like humanity's gonna end up being such in a virtual reality that they're not going to know but which is a fair point, but not right now. But it could have already happened and

The Miz: 14:06

your evidence is going towards this But wait, it could have already happened. That's like me being like, Oh, wait, like oh, like I'm progressing towards my death. But wait, I could already be dead.

Bobby: 14:17

How do you know that you're not just living your last memory right now?

The Miz: 14:20

I doubt that we're gonna like hang our hats on my hypothetical could

Bobby: 14:25

see this is the problem with me and arguments I'm not good at but what I will say though, is that the universe to me like I feel like there's some things that have been speaking to me lately, for example, like everybody in my life, know, the moon, the moon, I had a moment about the moon and just people around me are all going batshit for some reason.

The Miz: 14:46

isn't really interesting thing to think about. I will give you that it really is. It really is. I just don't think there's any sort of plausibility behind it, but it is it and maybe I'm one of the dumb ones. Maybe I'm the But I think let it pass me by. And then also, thing,

Bobby: 15:04

that's the thing, though you wouldn't know, because you like cuz you would already be in the simulation, so you wouldn't know that you are a simulation. So you're not dumb, you're not missing a point, you're gonna deny it because you're in this world, you're in this universe. But really, your

The Miz: 15:18

argument was that things have evolved from the mid 90s. When you both were writing, so what's gonna happen is, so I like, how would you guys be in the simulation?

Unknown: 15:27

Now you call me old?

Bobby: 15:30

They said something about 2012 the world ended and now we're in a simulation somewhere.

The Miz: 15:34

So how do we transfer from the 2012? False Mayan end of the world?

Bobby: 15:41

I don't know. Listen, I got really high and I watched this movie called Mandela Effect, which I

Jim: 15:45

just want to point out that for the past week, we have heard from Bobby how this is going to blow our minds and convince me that I live in the matrix. And now I don't even know what's happening. It

The Miz: 15:59

is an interesting point, it really is a

Jim: 16:02

Wait, what is the argument?

Bobby: 16:04

The argument is that we live in a simulation. And also because of all these, there's, there's like a list I'll have to like post a list because I'm not gonna go through every single one. But like the Mandela, Mandela effects one like, okay, these things have happened. We all remember it happened a certain way, or it looked a certain way.

Jim: 16:18

But is that simulation or is that our human memory? That sucks?

Bobby: 16:21

We don't know. Well, they also have made

The Miz: 16:25

things interesting, because I've been googling as you've been talking.

Bobby: 16:29

And like the berenstein bears.

Unknown: 16:31

I love the berenstein there Berenstain Bears not stain. Well, it's like st e i

Bobby: 16:37

n. No, that's what everybody remembers. But it's a the a and some of the E.

Jim: 16:41

But is that just because we remember things badly? Or is it because there's

The Miz: 16:45

like us as a culture, like,

Jim: 16:47

I just barely remember

Unknown: 16:48

one damn right. Right.

The Miz: 16:50

Like, I was just like, Are we just re creating new norms that are false, but like, because of like a telephone of fact, like when you repeat

Jim: 16:58

like people say regardless, is irregardless because there's the matrix, or is irregardless because people are stupid? Because I mean, girls. I mean, I think people are just dumb and don't remember things. Right, like, emulation. I

Bobby: 17:10

don't think you're dumb because you've said the same exact fucking thing that everybody else has said.

Jim: 17:14

Yes. So we copy people.

Unknown: 17:15

All it took was a

The Miz: 17:18

copy. There are some Berenstain Bears.

Bobby: 17:22

PS I know the granddaughter of that heard Yeah,

The Miz: 17:25

well, I mean, those that, to me is the most compelling piece is like, things that seems so true to us are absolutely not true. Right. Like, there's

Bobby: 17:39

really, no,

The Miz: 17:41

I don't doubt that it was absolutely always the Berenstain Bears and we just like ignored the fact that it was the Berenstain Bears and just like somehow in our communication channels turned into the Berenstain Bears To me, it seems more what's the word? Like non likely

Bobby: 17:59

got likely your version versus mine?

The Miz: 18:03

So you think it's unlikely that we somehow misinterpreted it and some Yes, one in a different? We're not

Bobby: 18:09

all stupid, you know, and you guys both said, Well, no, and it's not a stupid thing. It's like a it's because it's a glitch a glitch because someone used to have something somebody fucked it up there and was like, Oh, shit,

The Miz: 18:22

like, Well, you know what, maybe

Bobby: 18:25

I'm just gonna say this. Like, it kind of makes sense to like the word God and God like God, is you some, like in this theory, sort of like, you're controlling your simulation, which is who you think you are right now. We're not really this were something else.

Unknown: 18:41

I just was gone.

Bobby: 18:43

So you are like, you're like you're controlling your own universe. Like,

The Miz: 18:47

if I were controlling it, I would have been the Berenstain Bears.

Jim: 18:50

And also I just want to know if this is such a great like system. Why is the glitch was mispronouncing berenstein bears?

Unknown: 18:59

Goddamn glitch. I want

Jim: 19:03

I want a new goddamn simulation. Oh, the glitches Oh, it's Bernstein not Bernstein. You guys are fucking up. You've been fooled for 30,000 years, you dumb humans, but berenstein bears is what gotcha. I'm sorry. I'm ready to go next.

Unknown: 19:25

A bunch of fucking assholes understand the

Jim: 19:28

universe. It worked for this long but now we finally got God on Bernstein bears. Oh my god. Damn, I'm ready to go. Ready for the next simulation? Sign me up such a good point. I want an upgrade. I would like oh no, the monopoly man doesn't have a monocle.

The Miz: 19:46

Oh my god. Maybe we rewrite what happened in like 911 versus BAM steam.

Jim: 19:53

Right? Like if that was what God does like this simulation sucks ass.

Bobby: 19:59

There are a lot more examples

Jim: 20:04

lucky other than that no simulation.

Bobby: 20:08

I don't know I like to think that there's I I've always thought about the universe.

Unknown: 20:13

Yes sir.

Bobby: 20:14

I feel like you just have some kind of control and that's why we're gonna make it by the way and we're gonna get $100 million Spotify deal

Unknown: 20:22

in your God then why are we there?

Bobby: 20:24

Because it takes time because my brain has got to connect through the 65,000 he's one of the other simulations low God if I'm the bottom simulation and the real Oh my god, it's so freaky. What if

The Miz: 20:35

he's here? It's an illusion aspect Bill Gates. Why isn't he in our same simulation?

Jim: 20:42

Oh, well, the great Steve Jobs did it then No, because he now he's in a fifth dimension though.

Bobby: 20:50

I'm about you know what?

The Miz: 20:52

That's right things everybody wants now.

Bobby: 20:54

No, but here's what bothers me about this. Okay. This exact same thing as like, God kind of

The Miz: 21:01

I don't believe in that shit either. So

Unknown: 21:04

I don't believe it.

Bobby: 21:06

I mean, I want to believe there's something else out there whether it's God

Jim: 21:09

or a giant computer that's glitching and making monopoly man have a monocle

Unknown: 21:15

Berenstain

Bobby: 21:19

mandela effect and look at Google and look at like a 15 Mandela effects

Jim: 21:22

Bobby's like your God created the entire universe. My God fucked up and made berenstein bears inside bears. Like why would I want to believe in that? God This sucks.

The Miz: 21:32

created the Mandela

Bobby: 21:35

book because the Nelson Mandela supposedly died in 1835 nobody remembers him dying in a dream he actually died in 2013

Jim: 21:41

Yeah, I didn't think he died in 93 I know I'm a went to his funeral. How did Obama write his funeral? 93

Bobby: 21:47

people who are older than us remember him dying at 83 so we were mad

Unknown: 21:52

now Robert living in a simulation because he was

Bobby: 21:57

because he was still alive. And they I mean, I watched a bunch of

The Miz: 22:02

old ass people be like, Oh, he died at play when he was really alive. Letting people dictate our lives. Like we're in a simulation.

Jim: 22:11

This is a little more you know, hint something funny that happened at that funeral. The actual funeral where Obama was they had hired a sign language interpreter who just straight up made up sign language in order to interpret what was being said at that funeral glitch completely made up no but we realized it though so it was a bad glitch. Yeah, he was doing full

Bobby: 22:34

stop it was faking the whole thing making the whole interpret he tried it he got the job where he was like I

Jim: 22:39

got hired and he had been hired before to in South Africa

Bobby: 22:43

African language

The Miz: 22:47

giving a speech in 2003 Yeah, like

Bobby: 22:53

right so what it's saying is there was a glitch at some point so like ever I don't know just read the footage died

The Miz: 23:00

at three now this is somehow online reading though. Keep

Bobby: 23:03

read the 15 like there's a list it's like 15 things well, the whole principles

The Miz: 23:07

around this mandela effect and now that seems to not be grounded in anything.

Bobby: 23:13

You fucking assholes. I literally can't. I mean, guys, this is serious.

Unknown: 23:19

I literally thought my rock

Bobby: 23:22

this right this right here.

Jim: 23:24

What is this GIF? creamy peanut butter cheesy. Mom's choose Jeff.

Bobby: 23:28

Okay, so is that all it is? Or is there another brand name for it?

Unknown: 23:32

Peanut butter?

Bobby: 23:33

No, just Jeff. Okay, so you're right there. I think you're probably looking at it right now. You probably looked at these.

Jim: 23:38

I am not I'm looking at. Actually I'm trying to find

The Miz: 23:41

out. What are you gonna say? Curious George?

Unknown: 23:43

Yeah.

Bobby: 23:44

Did you have a tail? Yeah, no, no. was never there. Are you freaking out? Okay, moving on. There was never a tail. Sex and the City while these four women were having sex in the city. The show was actually titled Sex and the City. Yeah, I knew that.

Jim: 24:03

But I don't know if it has an ampersand or if it's an febreeze Wani Yep, Wani

Bobby: 24:10

this fucked me up al Oscar Meyer. Mayer

Jim: 24:15

I remember cuz my dad told me that and I was like, Oh fuck.

Unknown: 24:19

Oh

Bobby: 24:22

there's no there's no T and Skechers

The Miz: 24:25

Okay, that's obvious. Oh, tonight

Jim: 24:28

so we're gonna glitch because Bobby doesn't know brand names. Okay, whatever. You

Bobby: 24:34

know what?

Jim: 24:37

Cheese it's it's just cheese it there's no z. Yeah, double stuff is one AF Oreo.

Bobby: 24:43

Okay, well, anyway, what I was trying to do here not really what I was trying to fucking do, like spark conversation. And the fact that I believe that you can put your energy out there. Maybe get back what you fucking want.

Unknown: 24:56

If you don't believe in my God, a giant

The Miz: 24:59

I will say This to your point, Bobby, maybe we're all saying this shit because in a simulation, we're programmed to say you're programmed,

Bobby: 25:08

right? So okay, yes, thank you. That's exactly what all this stuff is happening around me like, and I'm like certain or watch things. I'm like, Oh my god, like, I'm just saying I feel

Jim: 25:18

I do want to ask a bigger question. If we are in a simulation, why does it matter?

Bobby: 25:23

It doesn't mean

The Miz: 25:24

a simulation or not doesn't,

Jim: 25:26

right? So anyways,

Bobby: 25:28

because well it matters because after this simulation ends, what are you and who are you and where are you? Well,

Unknown: 25:36

are you and

The Miz: 25:39

it's not a simulation. If it's real life, you're nothing Bad's probably

Jim: 25:43

decades, we're probably in the next simulation. Okay, but

Bobby: 25:46

also I want to, okay,

Jim: 25:47

the afterlife is another so

Bobby: 25:48

think about Have you seen inception. Now going to favorite Oh my god, it's my favorite movies. So basically what happens is they go into dream levels, and you have different levels that you can go into. So but he never the whole thing with it is he never really knows when he's in a dream or when he's not a dream. So this is like the same kind of a thing. So they create these worlds and, and they have to like be the artist of the world. And they have things that happen in setup and how they want to see things and they you know, whatever, as you go down these levels, time changes as well. So a minute in the real world is like a day and the second level, a year and the third level and 20 years. And you know what I mean? So it goes down as you can get to lower levels. So you never know what's really reality. So you can live a full life in your bottom dream. And then cops and extreme and be 100 year,

The Miz: 26:36

you know, are you aware that Inception is denoted as a science fiction? film? Correct?

Bobby: 26:43

Correct.

The Miz: 26:43

So fiction means it's not the truth.

Unknown: 26:49

Okay,

Bobby: 26:49

yay. Listen here, honey. I know

The Miz: 26:52

that if you were to apply like fiction to every facet of reality, like there will be there'll be nothing that we can even believe in. Like, I don't know why we're equating every single sci fi film to being real. You're right. That's the thing, I

Bobby: 27:05

guess. To me, it's like it's like,

Unknown: 27:07

I don't know. Get him a kitty paw. Yeah, get a kitty ball. Can you get me and me kitty?

The Miz: 27:12

Okay, then like, then some guys in the crate Edward Scissorhands. Like I write, like, Where Where do we draw the line?

Bobby: 27:21

I don't know. That's the thing. I don't know.

The Miz: 27:24

Fiction, right?

Unknown: 27:26

I don't know, man. This is a thing. fictions, not not

Bobby: 27:31

fictional fiction fiction.

Unknown: 27:33

It's fake.

Bobby: 27:33

But I still don't

The Miz: 27:36

come to writing fiction maybe. But like, well, that's the thing.

Bobby: 27:41

Somebody's like thought process about it. It's like, Oh, I think this could happen. So they write it down. And that's fiction. But then eventually, one day they think, Wow, the guy was actually writing a story. That's real. Not this fake. Shit.

Unknown: 27:51

What has happened?

Bobby: 27:53

I don't know. I can do a little homework.

The Miz: 27:56

Like look at Frankenstein. Like come to be a real human. Well, I don't know. Nothing. earliest science fiction.

Bobby: 28:02

Okay, okay. Like I get what you're saying. And this is why I'm glad that you're you guys are both here because I know you're gonna tell me like

Jim: 28:11

that. You're fucking crazy.

The Miz: 28:13

What I think you're doing right now is seeing every single either feasible or infeasible option and being like, what the fuck? Maybe this will happen?

Bobby: 28:23

I kind of want it to happen. I think that's why I'm so into. I think it'd be really cool.

The Miz: 28:28

I mean, maybe. I mean, it's refreshing to think something this like profound and crazy could happen.

Bobby: 28:35

It really could. And that's why

The Miz: 28:37

that's what I think. I don't know if it really could I think it's refreshing to think it could but I don't know if it really good.

Bobby: 28:43

I want you to watch the Mandela effects on do you have Hulu?

The Miz: 28:46

I do have Hulu but I also know Mandela was factually live between 1983

Bobby: 28:51

Can you just like watch it though?

The Miz: 28:54

I'll watch it. But I don't think it has any grounds to being real.

Unknown: 28:59

It's really sad.

The Miz: 29:00

Listen with Jim doing I seem he

Bobby: 29:03

doesn't pay attention. He's about to get kicked off the show. To be honest.

Unknown: 29:06

What are you doing? anyway?

Bobby: 29:08

I guess it's bareback him and Bobby doesn't have any questions for me.

Jim: 29:13

I have so many questions, but I don't think I'll get an answer.

Bobby: 29:17

I just I think I really want to know what's next. If there is a next if there's nothing I don't like to believe in the thought that it's just this is it because that's even more pointless to me than any of the other shit like I feel

The Miz: 29:27

like in the simulation, he wants a new character.

Bobby: 29:32

Yeah, you could. It could be death as well resets the simulation and then you either be

The Miz: 29:38

needed, I think

Bobby: 29:40

in all scenarios, just dead basically at the end of the day. It's all we're all dying.

The Miz: 29:44

We're so afraid of our lives just ending with no contingency plan. Like it just ends. Yes. It's just a bright line. perimeter ending it's over. What does it take for us to accept that

Jim: 30:03

dying? Probably silicides

The Miz: 30:06

by no means to live our entire lives so afraid of that moment, or we're gonna just accepted like, okay, when I die, I'm done. And no, finito. Never like what we need to do. coming for me is like I've ever given the dots, the reality, shouldn't we just like live our lives to the fullest? And just appreciate the moments that we do have? And then appreciate the fact that when it's over, it's over?

Unknown: 30:35

Oh, yes, God.

Bobby: 30:36

Yeah. Because I mean, if

The Miz: 30:39

it's over, right, typically, it's over. It's over

Jim: 30:42

before it started really,

The Miz: 30:44

right. Fair enough. But when you die, you die does nothing else. So that just gives us more reason for us to make our lives that much more like what we want it to be.

Bobby: 30:57

And I get that and I just I kind of refuse to believe that there isn't anything though. I don't feel like there's an energy thing. There's some kind of thing I refuse to I refuse. And Ms. You're right, though, because I read a book called the denial of death. And this is exactly what's in it. Everybody. From when from the time you're born, you're afraid to die, because and then when you realize you die, that's what's fucked up.

The Miz: 31:18

Well, you're never gonna realize you die. Because once you die, oh, you realize, like our realization sorry.

Bobby: 31:25

What I was saying was like, as a child when you finally realize that life

The Miz: 31:29

have the potential Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think you just I think what it really means is like, just live, this is where it comes into the point of living your life to the fullest and live day by day one. This is you never know when you're gonna die. And because when you do

Unknown: 31:46

die, it's done. I don't believe that. I'm gonna come back and prove it.

The Miz: 31:49

Well, you be the first.

Jim: 31:51

Now did you actually know that Jesus's name was Hey, Zeus, and it's a glitch because you call him Jesus.

Bobby: 31:59

That really is to come to your God. Well, anyway, so now that I'm living this fucking simulation, let's go. Guys, I'm

The Miz: 32:23

just really, Bobby what I think you need to just like, I think you're having a moment I am but I just remember one thing.

Unknown: 32:31

He needs more. Let's go back though. The song again? No,

Bobby: 32:38

on a serious note, like they also did say like LSD or like people who trip that that also is

Unknown: 32:45

Yeah, this is serious. No, like, I'm

Bobby: 32:48

literally

Unknown: 32:49

Excuse me.

Bobby: 32:53

And these, this one is just laughing.

The Miz: 32:55

But like, I don't know, I feel like an easy solution is to get your dog out of the fucking room.

Unknown: 33:03

Tissue has been a good game,

The Miz: 33:05

the more we consistently

Bobby: 33:07

do by her, right. Anyway, they're saying that like LSD, or like those kind of things that they open up your brain. Folk focus, like this is like literally an hour of your life for a week. And you came and say, You can't even say focus for an hour. Like I said that hard.

Jim: 33:28

Sorry, I glitched

Bobby: 33:30

I wish you'd fucking glitch. I'm waiting for that glitch to fucking happen. God I wish I could glitch

Jim: 33:35

out of this bitch. Okay. Guess what?

Bobby: 33:38

There might be a glitch happening tonight, honey.

Unknown: 33:41

Oh, no,

Jim: 33:42

I seriously Wish I could glitch away from the

Bobby: 33:44

honey. All you got to do is step away. Now. Don't say you don't want to glitch then bet because I'll get you out.

Jim: 33:50

No, I want a glitch from everything. Oh,

Unknown: 33:53

well. Shoot,

Bobby: 33:56

I think um, I'm gonna have to do LSD someday, but Okay, I think we're ready for our favorite segment.

The Miz: 34:02

No, I thought you were talking about LSD. No, no, no, no, I thought you wouldn't tell us what that meant.

Bobby: 34:09

Oh, so basically what people people who do LSD see the other unit like the other side of it, and it opens our brainwaves on

Unknown: 34:17

our steam.

Bobby: 34:18

Have you ever done LSD? No, there's no fucking way.

Jim: 34:21

I'm dead. That's probably what the fucking problem is my AB maybe I'm out of this fucking system, and you're stuck in it. And I'm sorry, I'm not.

Bobby: 34:29

You're looking Nintendo 6480. I'm

Jim: 34:31

an angel. I go through different dimensions. Sorry.

Bobby: 34:34

You're not an angel.

The Miz: 34:35

I am super, super interested in the makings of gem. Because I feel like there's so much to dissect there. Now, yeah, and I don't know if we'll ever know. I don't know what you're doing what you're trying to distract yourself from

Bobby: 34:55

there. Yeah, he's so scared of reality.

Jim: 35:00

I'm not in your reality sorry.

Bobby: 35:02

No, actually you are I think you're a bot that's here to like, take me off of course. So you're like you're doing all this like you can't even look at your camera and talk to us. You have to look down and play

The Miz: 35:10

there's liking right now. Like he's just being

Bobby: 35:12

psychotic and this is why I'm taking away IPAs next time he comes over

Unknown: 35:16

here you look at what are you looking at?

Jim: 35:18

There's a giant green sticker on my drink.

Unknown: 35:20

Why is he taking pills?

Bobby: 35:23

I need more weed because I'm not high enough for this. Yeah,

Jim: 35:26

can you should we take a break? Yeah, let's get him some weed.

Bobby: 35:29

Let's take a break so we can just wait for Jim to fucking wake up.

Jim: 35:33

It's already woken up.

Bobby: 35:34

No, I'm ready to keep going Fuck it.

Jim: 35:36

We're already hearing someone get him a weed joint.

Bobby: 35:38

Okay, Michael I'm I'm I'm gonna be sweet. I need you to stop talking to Jim during the cycle why you can sit here and listen and I love that you're here and you're listening but you cannot show him target calm big and tall. Recording that would I just want to target Okay, well

Jim: 36:03

that life is amazing.

Bobby: 36:05

He's I think he just fell out

Unknown: 36:07

you fell out that's what it is the follow on he fell out. You felt the fuck out? Oh my god, I swear to god showing up target pickup. That's what's happened

Jim: 36:24

literally I was looking at a hot big and tall model and I like why am

The Miz: 36:28

I yelling? I'm saying I'm gagging I'm wheezing I'm like project tiling everything I cannot

Unknown: 36:40

I'm miserable with him

Bobby: 36:48

when I had grown herbal

The Miz: 36:52

Okay, so basically I've been doing a lot of thinking this week and what I really want to know from each of you and it actually corresponds really well to your segment bubbles Really? Yeah what I'm what I'm what I want to know is what your ideal funeral adds.

Unknown: 37:10

Oh, I know.

Bobby: 37:12

Like for my personal body

The Miz: 37:15

Yeah, I mean I'll give you mine as an example. So yes, my funeral what I really what I really really want is a couple of things I want first and foremost it needs to be a roast I want I want my funeral I want my I want myself do

Jim: 37:31

you want to be burnt to a crisp?

The Miz: 37:33

Oh no. No I want to get roasted I want to be sitting in a casket with my eyes clamped open like that to go around with my dead carcass like

Bobby: 37:50

nope not going your funeral

The Miz: 37:52

and I want everyone wants to me like verbally like Tell me everything

Bobby: 37:56

about you want to spit rose and spin you around?

The Miz: 37:58

Maybe not gonna happen after the fact they want me to sit there literally dead half

Bobby: 38:03

Why do you have to be sitting with your eyes open you can hear

The Miz: 38:05

us from no has to be clamped open and I wanted to go around and say what they hate about me the most so that I post mortem need to hear it

Bobby: 38:14

and then why is your eyes open? gonna make you hear it you

The Miz: 38:16

need those ears closed? Like see it like artificially like this? Isn't that fucked out? Yeah I need then then what I need is chips in case oh I need frozen Mark wait

Bobby: 38:28

so this is for the guests.

Unknown: 38:30

Oh we don't want them on

Bobby: 38:33

that was for the guests on you on your eyes up and what you want to open your mouth to

The Miz: 38:37

me yeah me

Bobby: 38:39

on your body

The Miz: 38:42

will give you a tequila bath before your dick in my like dead throat maybe

Unknown: 38:48

I do it to be

The Miz: 38:49

no gagging be really tight down there. Yeah, we'll probably take a cactus that point like I probably wouldn't have any

Bobby: 38:56

moisture in there. You definitely pour some lube in there

The Miz: 38:59

and like down there and then fuck my throat we

Unknown: 39:03

could he's writing

Bobby: 39:04

that in the request.

The Miz: 39:06

That's in my legal documents. Okay, so

Bobby: 39:09

we're roasting you were eating nachos and having Mars

The Miz: 39:11

That sounds fun. It sounds so much right and then and then we're gonna have like a huge rose My eyes are clamped open, but then it doesn't mean element that like depends on my my method of death. It's like if I get like shot then there's gonna be like a bunch of shots right? Like you know like it has to happen that way. If I if I get lung cancer, like who cuz they're gonna come out everyone's gonna smell it or smoke it out. Okay, if I get like in a plane crash like that doesn't have to be like a bunch of like flights of stuff. So it's really it's really gonna work out and it's based on funeral I want like the DJ guests

Bobby: 39:52

naturally on V and then or something

The Miz: 39:54

natural causes Jim handle that because

Jim: 39:59

tote bags And we'll do spearmint who whatever

Bobby: 40:10

experiment Lucia

Unknown: 40:12

Lucia Is she

The Miz: 40:16

okay, okay yeah so what you handle the vegan if I died not for you I don't I don't so yeah so that's it my funeral is what I really am what I'm doing I'm trying to get like a catalogue of idea it's like I want to know and I think everyone should have an idea what their funeral should be I

Jim: 40:33

agree I fully is what

The Miz: 40:35

do you guys want and

Jim: 40:36

it should be paid for already you don't need to leave it to people who know you to pay for your shit because funerals can be $1,000 like should you like my own

Bobby: 40:47

yeah I figures me really expensive we have to go

The Miz: 40:50

my might be like 100 grand

Jim: 40:53

Do you know how much bottomless mimosas are like Mrs. expensive

The Miz: 40:59

to buy tickets

Unknown: 41:00

to get a VIP?

Bobby: 41:02

Yeah like literally $40 in New York so

Jim: 41:05

so $800 for me hopefully you'll get buried in Vermont or wherever you're from. Yeah,

The Miz: 41:11

well so what I really want to do let's get cremated. And then like have like my ash around the rim of like a mark gay

Unknown: 41:22

and like a towel like

The Miz: 41:26

like a signature mark with my ashes around. But like if you also want to snort them just like appear.

Bobby: 41:34

So you want to be inside of us when you die?

The Miz: 41:37

Right like I don't want my ashes to be spread anywhere I want to be can What about

Jim: 41:40

being inside of me when you're alive? How do you feel about that? I

Unknown: 41:43

feel a hard pass on that. Oh, whoa.

Jim: 41:48

Well Jim is gonna be awkward. I'm not really

The Miz: 41:53

I'm not really I'm just kidding like you were a top so I was dissipating that kind of transaction.

Jim: 42:00

That's true. I am now at Tom Foley and Bobby's rolling his eyes because

The Miz: 42:05

I wouldn't be really in year

Unknown: 42:08

right right oh

Bobby: 42:09

The problem is that we got

Jim: 42:10

to get here you could get in the peixoto like a little bit of your like colon

Bobby: 42:15

up your pee hole into like a colon cleanse like

Jim: 42:18

a little bit of you grows once I'm in your rectum like a little bit of donor pee whoa a little colon can go on my peel

Bobby: 42:25

appeals and get fucked by his calling

Unknown: 42:27

yeah

Bobby: 42:29

like sounding but for

The Miz: 42:31

yeah for call. I thought you were taught that's a reason why I mean that Okay, well

Jim: 42:37

thank god you know we'll be fine then.

The Miz: 42:38

And let's see what I can try to be flexible.

Jim: 42:42

I'll probably be a bottom again by then she be clearly honest.

Bobby: 42:46

Cuz you want to get fuck?

Unknown: 42:51

Oh no. Cuz you want to get that? Like you just glitched honey. You want to get back glitching Oh, God. fact,

Bobby: 43:07

you want to get fucked?

Jim: 43:09

Do you know what the kids are saying? There's Belloc. If you a rk on work like far that's what they're saying. Instead of fuck. Fork use

Unknown: 43:19

our fork. You

Jim: 43:21

are also saying she like sh e like she I hate everybody.

Unknown: 43:27

I hate kids

Jim: 43:28

is literally like 20 year olds doing this she she

Bobby: 43:31

that's like saying like yeah,

Jim: 43:33

we're in trouble. We're old we're really fucking old. Speak for yourselves. You old hogs like hunting essante

The Miz: 43:40

I wouldn't consider myself on

Bobby: 43:43

the bridge between us and them.

The Miz: 43:46

them in it them in them them. me know they

Jim: 43:52

if Debbie pangender or pansexual like I think she's

The Miz: 43:55

she? She does fuck about what genders Yeah, man, you really hate her.

Jim: 44:02

You really hate that haircut? haircut is gender you are like that.

The Miz: 44:10

I needed my female as Demi Lovato have short hair up in flames. I need that burning

Jim: 44:17

like no while you're burning we're gonna sing for the summer.

Unknown: 44:24

That one I need Actually, I've

Bobby: 44:28

seen her live Don't tell me why what it was a girl but

Jim: 44:32

tell us why.

Bobby: 44:37

Some other gay when I first moved here some of my gay friends. Yeah.

Jim: 44:43

Yes, yeah. Do you know I can't wait for you know who we are bitch. We get all the top actresses ej Yes, we

Bobby: 44:50

get everybody here honey. Miss Columbus is besides the Columbus Circle which is probably true.

Unknown: 44:56

probably true. probably true.

Bobby: 44:58

I can't wait for you to win you. Coming like I don't know soon he's like I'm not coming. I gotta go to fucking gasworks really close.

Jim: 45:06

We got to go to gasworks there's a lot of straight dick out there.

Bobby: 45:09

There is I miss a

Unknown: 45:11

I just looked at Michael on Am I allowed to say that I

The Miz: 45:15

like I have yet to hear from either of you. Okay,

Jim: 45:19

so I know mine. Okay, go ahead. I thought you were talking about Demi Lovato is like campaign No,

Unknown: 45:25

no, our mouse now. Okay, so

Bobby: 45:27

what's your funeral

Jim: 45:28

my funeral I want to go like the least environmentally harmful like all natural, fully vegan. So they're allowing this in some of the Western States I think Oregon allows it i i'm not sure about California, but you can actually just be buried in the ground like not in a box not in anything not preserved just like your whole body put in the ground. I think it's anchored up

Bobby: 45:48

I think it's actually in a sheet like a sheet but like a protective barrier and they put a seed in you and then you grow as a tree. Well, not a seed but

Jim: 45:57

like they let to help fungus grow Yes, to help break you down. It's like I want to be broken down the natural way. I don't want to be burned up and use a lot of natural gas like heat me burn me.

Bobby: 46:06

But when you're done, you're done just like we were talking about earlier. So what does it matter?

Jim: 46:08

Well, I'm thinking about the people that I'm thinking about the people to come. people that come

Unknown: 46:13

you want to come on

Jim: 46:15

my gut. Now the people that come after me, Well, I'm not trying to like ruin the planet, so I can be

The Miz: 46:21

very respectable way to go. But it's

Bobby: 46:24

not there's not more like you

Jim: 46:26

said, we're burning everyone up. We're putting people in teak boxes for no reason buried in the ground. Oh, let's spend $30,000 on your precious box that we're going to cover in dirt forever. Like why the fuck are we putting people?

Bobby: 46:39

Why are we paying so much money for that?

Jim: 46:41

Why are we spending $12,000 to put little old 90 year old grandma in the ground for a litter just like throw her in? Either throw her in the dumpster or just put her in the ground like she is they act like

Bobby: 46:52

they're gonna like lower. I mean, it's pull it out. They just throw grandma in the hole because they like pull the cash out. I'll

Jim: 46:57

say the casket for later this week. Keep reselling, I don't understand human burial to me is insane. The amount of money the amount of resources we use capitalism. It's like we don't need to do a funeral capitalism. You know what they do elsewhere. They just burn the bodies. That's it.

The Miz: 47:12

I actually would like to be burned because I also feel very passionately about being a salt rim of a cocktail. So I'm down for that. I'm really into that. I can be like, admittedly,

Jim: 47:24

I don't want to Margarita,

Unknown: 47:25

my throat in the drain, like sprinkle

Bobby: 47:33

cookies, so it's sweet.

The Miz: 47:35

Wherever you want. I just don't want to be what if I don't want to be a

Bobby: 47:38

fucking you into me?

Unknown: 47:40

Who I like.

Bobby: 47:42

And then I'll just like shoot you up my haul?

The Miz: 47:44

Right? My ashes or my entire carcass

Jim: 47:48

and some will get into Michael's? That's actually a really good quote.

Bobby: 47:50

Yeah, and then you'll be inside of Michael.

Jim: 47:52

You'll be inside of me and Michael and me. All in why'd you

Bobby: 47:56

Oh my god. We're like, we're like an ash sandwich.

Unknown: 48:01

I'm down at

Bobby: 48:04

my funeral is going to be the one that's not planned. Probably. mp will be pissed off about it. Like tomorrow

Jim: 48:09

stop

Bobby: 48:12

talking about this

Jim: 48:13

will be like well, just as soon as he realized he was in a simulation he glitched out finally.

The Miz: 48:21

In the realistic human experience. Yeah, like

Jim: 48:24

Ross COVID would take him and COVID didn't take him.

Bobby: 48:27

That's the other thing. COVID they're trying to glitch me out anyway, didn't work. I don't want to be in a box. I don't want to be seen like I hate when there's open caskets and there's

Unknown: 48:38

an open casket.

Bobby: 48:39

Nova like really?

The Miz: 48:41

I love it. You're so full of shit. I fucking love

Jim: 48:44

you Irish get the knife

The Miz: 48:47

love the fact that you can see them as there are as far out to be resting

Bobby: 48:52

you're just you're probably just being a little bitch about in your like I can finally see ugly you really fucking are bitch

The Miz: 48:57

won't know because all of them are always dressed up decked out to the nines. My grandma my grandma was decked out to the fucking nine. Yeah.

Unknown: 49:09

They look good. Italian makeup was

The Miz: 49:11

done or her hair was done. She was wearing like some coffee. Like she was like she had

Unknown: 49:19

a bagel like I can't wait to decay in the ground forever with her and

Jim: 49:25

I meant attend to dast

Unknown: 49:28

she was like a point of like, we're toning with her like, you know, cannoli before I go shovel can only have that all grandma

Bobby: 49:37

that's your grandmother. Um, yeah, it's really stupid. But I guess I don't want to be in a casket so burn me or Neil.

Unknown: 49:43

Okay, got it. My funeral I just

Bobby: 49:45

like would if there's like a ceremony like have me in a box like have some pictures of me like good ones. I look skinny. And I want you to sing.

Unknown: 49:55

Who What's that? Fuck. I wide 125 Like what's that?

Bobby: 50:02

Even though it's for moms I think

Unknown: 50:05

a hail mary mother of god, no, no, no, no. And he will

Bobby: 50:12

know what's the one that it's like a mom so it's like,

Unknown: 50:16

this is my fight song. All right song. That's

Bobby: 50:21

what I want playing. Okay, literally. Then at the end of the song I want my, my horn. I was gonna say, my, my hair. My heart explodes at the end like an

Jim: 50:40

urn. I know.

Bobby: 50:43

Saying hearns glitter, right though. Yeah, like it's gonna. This is

Unknown: 50:50

everywhere.

Jim: 50:52

26 seems like up and now he's gone. And now he's

Unknown: 50:57

obese.

Bobby: 50:59

And you can take my herd and take it home with you. I really want to be like a picture as like a cookie jar.

Jim: 51:06

I do too. And like we can all reach in and grab.

Bobby: 51:08

Yeah, like I'm open. I'm an open jar.

The Miz: 51:11

You probably want to do like a marionette. I want to like create like a

Unknown: 51:17

really creepy scene happening by somebody and all of a sudden we're live.

Jim: 51:25

We're like, rest in peace. And then he's like,

Bobby: 51:29

in a town square. Oh, yeah.

The Miz: 51:34

And then you come back. And then you'll go back to being day

Bobby: 51:41

and everybody's gonna stare at me naked. Alright, well, so my funeral is not gonna be fun. Just saying. I don't like listen, and here's the thing. I really don't like thinking about it. So I again, I'm gonna be the one I'd like everybody hates because they're gonna be like, he had all this time to plan it all. He didn't have any plan. Like I'm not gonna die. I'm gonna glitch or whatever

Jim: 52:00

you're gonna have like stage four cancer. It's gonna be in your brain. You're like, I'll survive this. We're gonna be like no Bobby like you're gonna die tomorrow.

Unknown: 52:08

No, I won't. It's gonna glitch

Bobby: 52:10

just make sure you drug me beforehand. Like I want to be fucked up.

Jim: 52:13

Oh, you will be I mean, you're fucked up every day as it is.

Bobby: 52:17

You'll be fine. I just like to get high.

Jim: 52:20

What type of food do you want?

Bobby: 52:21

I want like hot chicken takeover and a pace. And like canes. Oh, so chicken and pizza jets.

Unknown: 52:29

Okay,

Jim: 52:29

this sauce of canes are the actual chicken. Both okay. I'm surprised like on your final minutes was such a fuck it and go with chick fil a like you can do It's okay. It's your last meal.

Bobby: 52:41

Wait. Our last What made you come up with this subject today? Like what made you think about funerals? Oh, because of the king that died or whatever. The king that died?

The Miz: 52:50

No, I've always been thinking about it.

Unknown: 52:53

Oh, yeah.

Bobby: 52:54

Prince Philip's gone. He was 99 that's what maybe made you me me think you thought of a funeral?

Unknown: 53:00

No.

Jim: 53:02

He was British. Yes.

Bobby: 53:03

I'm sorry. Not asked me his brother. Oh.

Unknown: 53:09

Ah. Oh.

Bobby: 53:15

I really like that Ms.

Jim: 53:16

Man. Sounds great. And

Unknown: 53:18

I'm glad.

Bobby: 53:18

I mean, kinda, I'm like scared of it though. So now I'm gonna be like thinking all night long about what I'm gonna do at my funeral.

Jim: 53:25

You're not going to do the damn thing. No, we're going to be the ones having to carry your fat heavy body in a casket from the ambulance. Okay, so you can just relax about it. I feel really

Bobby: 53:39

thinking about like, I think they're gonna get a crane and get me out.

Jim: 53:43

Oh, well, we've got a body in here and we're gonna need the crane

Bobby: 53:45

can't take this fat fuck out on the stair

Jim: 53:47

like call another unit

Bobby: 53:49

big though. That's the price. I'm fat. Like, there's people be like, we gotta just we can we can't do let's create them out. Let's create

The Miz: 53:56

what they did in most Eating Gilbert Grape and oh my god.

Bobby: 54:01

I remember that movie. That was like so weird. Because she was Yeah, she was obese. And she's

The Miz: 54:06

like autistic son.

Bobby: 54:08

Wait, did she kill herself though? Or was there an accidental fire?

Unknown: 54:11

She died

Bobby: 54:12

and they had to like, Oh, they had to burn her in the house because they couldn't

The Miz: 54:17

like clean her out.

Bobby: 54:18

She was alive when they did that. Oh, my God, I thought was alive. I haven't watched in a while. So I might need to recap.

Unknown: 54:30

I've dropped the button. You know with Jim.

Bobby: 54:40

Hopefully it is riveting as Polaroid pictures last week.

Jim: 54:44

Wow. You try to teach your friends one cool thing and they just can't do it. They'd rather think about their existential crises and whether they're in a simulation or how they're going to die. Anyways, let's talk about the world that we do live in. Okay. I am breezy. Okay, one thing easy. Yeah, greasy though breezy. Like my face greasy, breezy. Now.

The Miz: 55:11

What's the breezy with a Z? Like mass? Yeah,

Bobby: 55:14

you're like anger easy look. Yeah, I understand what you're fucking saying. I'm saying the way you're saying it is wrong. You're saying breezy.

Jim: 55:21

I'm sorry my glitching anyway.

Bobby: 55:23

Oh, you're showing your fucking real Ohio self.

Jim: 55:29

There's two more you know facts that we're going to talk about last week we brought up lube, man, what's your preferred lube? A brand other than not loot? Like what do you like? Other than not even spinning? What do you like as you loot?

The Miz: 55:44

I don't know. I the only kinds I've ever used is the one called back door there's a one there's one in my pocket. I don't know what it's called. But I could get up and get it but it's like something you share why go up and get it?

Jim: 56:06

Yeah, I want to find out what I wanted. what type it is you

Bobby: 56:08

know it's not it's like called Baby Got Back. Back door. Back door. Wow, you see that back door?

Jim: 56:15

I thought he was gonna be like astroglide like something common

Bobby: 56:19

right? That's what I'm saying to you. Like he's like, the only I've ever tried to talk to me like like,

Jim: 56:22

I've heard of now. He's like back door.

Bobby: 56:25

Or like back door who makes up my favorite one back door. Oil.

Unknown: 56:30

Oh, now that might be a silicone. Yeah, I hate the Oh yeah. Anyways, that's

Bobby: 56:36

what we're gonna get into. So yeah, so I like this Ms. Know what gun oil is

Jim: 56:41

Bobby prefers gun oil. Oh,

Unknown: 56:44

oh, my platinum, okay, what's

Jim: 56:48

the what type of what style because that's we're talking about is silicone. But see there's Okay, so the three types the main three types of lube are water based, silicone based and oil based. So breezy, personally breezy. And you don't want the crazy because greasy ones can break down condoms and stain your sheets oil based? Like I know oil base or Oh, yes. I know. You were using petroleum. They were using all sorts of things to clean up your hole and get fucked by older businessmen. But Michaels not a businessman. Oh, wow. But oil based lubes are just not your friend in terms of cleanup. Now, they work great and they last the longest selling if you want to throw a little coconut oil down in that hole. Go ahead, like you can get fucked for hours and that coconut oil will keep it lubricated. Okay, our next category the best category in my opinion is silicone based. So this is what we're talking about gun oil like there's like a Swiss swans Swiss a Swiss anus. There's a Swiss Army. I think the US Army. Yeah, yeah, that's what it is. And then what do you have MS because that's a silicone based Platinum platinum. So silicone is good because, well, for two reasons. It lasts long, similar to oil, but not as long, but it's safe with condoms, whereas oil will break down the condom so you can use silicone safely. But silicone will stain. Oh yeah. And that's the main problem with the sheets.

Bobby: 58:20

So like stains are like a like almost like a

Jim: 58:23

like a greasy stain. And then you try to wash the sheets and then if you don't wash them completely and put them in the dryer, the heat activates it and sets it and then it's forever stained. So a lot of towels, a lot of towels. You gotta lay down the towel if you're gonna cheat, but as Ms knows, like silicone works for the whole like, Oh, yeah, loosen up. Yeah, yeah. And so I recommend silicone for like new play old play. Okay, water based. There's been some. No, okay.

Unknown: 58:54

There's

Jim: 58:54

been some developments. Oh, sorry. When you were a kid waterbase was just like a liquid and that was that and it was a glitch. No, it was fine. But it didn't really work well in the shower because it would wash away because it's waterbay washes with water silicone last longer in the shower. But there are now some water based gels that will stay on a toy so they're safe with toys and they won't break down a silicon silicone toy. So you can use a gel based water based lube on toys, okay, also on your deck and it they work really well. And they stay they don't stain and they don't stay there. They stay wet. They stay in place, but they don't stain.

Bobby: 59:33

There is some lube, you're like the water base.

Jim: 59:36

just literally they literally put this on like half a gallon. My whole is dry as a desert. It's the Sahara down there.

Bobby: 59:42

Yeah, that's interesting.

Jim: 59:44

So I would recommend a gel base water. If you're afraid of staining if you're not afraid of staining, you're going to put a towel down and get your whole fucked so they'll do a silicone or dice pocket. It works to kind of it's fine. Yeah, if you're feeling adventurous and you're in your kitchen and just want to like go for it. Grab the coconut oil. blew up that hole

Bobby: 1:00:01

or probably you could probably heat it up with their whole like, Yeah,

Jim: 1:00:04

no, no, it does have a dinner party get fucked by tenant once.

Bobby: 1:00:09

Blue baby lube.

Jim: 1:00:11

So those are types of blue.

Bobby: 1:00:13

Thank you for sharing that because we did discuss that a little bit at the end of last week.

Unknown: 1:00:16

We did. And was there something else?

Jim: 1:00:21

Oh, all right, Miss. Well, here's your challenge. If you remember a little bitch. What is the biggest animal to have ever lived? ever in the history of the

Bobby: 1:00:36

world? The whale?

Jim: 1:00:37

You do know the blue whale? You never Okay, the blue whale?

Bobby: 1:00:45

Did you just say You

Unknown: 1:00:48

betcha.

Bobby: 1:00:50

I just heard that like in my afterthought.

Unknown: 1:00:54

Wow,

Bobby: 1:00:55

okay, anyway, keep going blue L.

Jim: 1:00:57

Anyways, you can hear a blue whale's heart from two miles away. But that's not the fun fact. So the fun fact is a blue whale is the biggest animal to have ever lived right? Animal including all dinosaurs. Anything ever any fossilized animal you ever found the blue whale currently, and probably will be for what? Millions of years. But do you know can you guess what the largest living organism is on the planet? plankton. Not bad.

Unknown: 1:01:28

I can. The

Jim: 1:01:30

Andrea This was recently discovered this is actually not known for that long. There is a collection of aspen trees in Utah. The Aspen tree is pretty unique. You've probably seen them like in the fall they turn yellow. or yellow. Yeah, Aspen.

Unknown: 1:01:46

Yeah. And ask her Can you spell that? A SPN

Jim: 1:01:50

it's like Baron Stein.

The Miz: 1:01:53

A collection of aspen trees has created what?

Jim: 1:01:57

It's the world's largest organism because actually, they have found that the root cause the root system is law connected. And each of these trees the male aspin has the ability to reproduce asexually. So it can generate some self, it can fuck itself and create clones of itself. So and then they can be

The Miz: 1:02:17

yes. And that all the roots are interconnected. There are

Jim: 1:02:20

47,000 trees that are all genetically identical. They just come off routes and come up 47,000 trees that are all the same tree. And they're all connected. And this isn't a park in Utah. So that is the world's largest single organism.

The Miz: 1:02:36

How do we define all the same tree? Like if you kill one of them doesn't kill all of them?

Jim: 1:02:41

No, it won't kill all of them. But it's like if you have a leg. If you have a starfish, you cut off one leg. You didn't kill the whole starfish, but you killed part of it. And then it can regrow that.

The Miz: 1:02:52

So it's all trees. Okay,

Jim: 1:02:55

so these trees are just all connected by

Bobby: 1:02:57

the roots. So there was one tree that then turned 20 trees that turned into 40.

Jim: 1:03:01

And then those roots

The Miz: 1:03:02

with one tree. It's not 47 tree.

Jim: 1:03:06

It's just like 47,000 so that's why they consider it. Yeah,

Unknown: 1:03:09

interesting.

Jim: 1:03:11

So once they realized, Oh, these roots are all connected. They were like shit, this is huge. And it's like, that's actually pretty wild. When you think about it.

Bobby: 1:03:18

To be honest. It was one tree. Yeah, yeah, one tree on the hill. Wow, that is so my age. Probably. I don't even know what One Tree Hill is.

Jim: 1:03:27

That's like a superman show. Or just now

Unknown: 1:03:30

regular. So if I swear

Jim: 1:03:32

there was like a baby Superman. That's very interesting, though. So like we think of like an organism as a distinct thing. And we like see a tree we're like, oh, that's separate. But it's like the same thing with mushrooms. If you see some mushrooms, a lot of mushrooms are all connected. You just see the fruiting bodies like the cap of the mushroom

The Miz: 1:03:48

fruiting bodies isn't like YouTube.

Unknown: 1:03:51

Jesus

Jim: 1:03:54

No, the mushroom cap is like the fruiting body I

Bobby: 1:03:56

bet you went for that mushroom cap.

Unknown: 1:03:58

Yeah, she's that's the fruit stack of gyms. Fuck Oh, boy. So thank you. So there we go. That's really cool.

The Miz: 1:04:17

You know what I actually learned something from this I I actually, that really does paint a picture in my mind like I'm kind of shark

Bobby: 1:04:26

you know what I love about Ms. What? Ms is the one that know I really appreciate you because you even if you believe something like you'll question the person you don't I mean, like you don't let me just say something without user saying, Well, what about this,

Jim: 1:04:45

right? He's like, how are these trees? Actually one organism? I'm like, Oh, that's it.

The Miz: 1:04:49

Then you explain that and then right.

Bobby: 1:04:50

That's what I'm saying. I appreciate you fucking bitch. I appreciate you.

Unknown: 1:04:55

I fucking love you Jim, go It's great. Oh

Bobby: 1:05:08

wow if I didn't know you're a gay Yeah. Hey, that's little fucking

The Miz: 1:05:14

Jim is like the man

Unknown: 1:05:17

speaking of like, I'm gonna die with my door

The Miz: 1:05:23

the gayest person I know.

Unknown: 1:05:25

Yay. But he's

Bobby: 1:05:27

you know it's funny though like if you put him in a crowd with people straights he duck so straight

Jim: 1:05:32

I would just suck his deck.

Unknown: 1:05:34

Oh yeah, I

Bobby: 1:05:35

won that one that works out in the fucking garage.

Jim: 1:05:38

Garage workout guys so damn this little blonde man who was rip would do squats like curls everything in his garage with the garage door open and I would just stand on my shirt on I would just stand in my kitchen and pretend to cook and look out my door window and be like, Oh,

The Miz: 1:05:57

this is not a MiG to the gays person I

Jim: 1:05:59

know. What is then just

Unknown: 1:06:03

point on life. Oh, yeah.

Bobby: 1:06:07

Gay, literally. I mean we all are but wait.

The Miz: 1:06:12

A man is not like being like

Unknown: 1:06:15

extra gay because I began are gay. You're just like a fruit.

Jim: 1:06:19

You're like a fruity Maya fruiting body. You're like a fruity

Bobby: 1:06:22

earlier. I'm a fruiting body is how far in your fruit in your nutty

Jim: 1:06:27

wish I were in California.

Bobby: 1:06:29

We do till

Jim: 1:06:30

anyway. Wow. Anyway. Wow. So that's all the segments Final Thoughts

Bobby: 1:06:37

what a little fucking

Jim: 1:06:41

need to be in California bitch. What?

Bobby: 1:06:44

You want to be there? I said yeah. I won't I won't try to be happy.

Unknown: 1:06:57

This this mother deals meal by that's a mock Spanish.

Bobby: 1:07:07

I don't either. I mean, what is that makes me go oh,

Jim: 1:07:12

you know, I'll see hopefully literally fuck the French.

Unknown: 1:07:15

Wow. I'm telling

Jim: 1:07:17

now not the combat quad. The French like the french fries. French critters like the colonizers. The quitters quitters.

Bobby: 1:07:27

Does a world war two Joker I don't even know.

Jim: 1:07:29

Yeah, they're I love the world war two jokes. I love that. Yeah, they're great. Literally, like Anne Frank. She was blind and deaf and she wrote a book.

Unknown: 1:07:41

No. No, and Frank was in the closet or his attic. Now she's a fucking lesbian.

Jim: 1:07:50

She had a lot of strikes against her to be

Bobby: 1:07:53

a Jewish lesbian writer. That's my drag name and Frank in the closet. But we don't even talk about and Frank. It's so misleading. Yeah, sorry. You.

Jim: 1:08:04

You look at that face. You think you're gonna get everything and then you go below the shoulders?

Bobby: 1:08:10

Well, it is what it is. Honey, I can't do anything about it. Almost 37 would you want me to do I got grown I can work out for three weeks now. I'm never getting back into it. Which I want you so bad, which I'm going to Monday. But it's true. It's really hard. You know, but like when you jump off like I couldn't breathe.

Jim: 1:08:29

My coasts gonna have to be feeding you did NATOs in the bed. And he's gonna be you're gonna be like I had COVID I can't get up and get dinner. I'm sorry once I fallen I can't get up. Here the gayest person I've ever known. You actually correct you fucking greasy bitch

Unknown: 1:08:51

breezy. You are? I think you hear her? I think you are.

Jim: 1:08:55

I'm sorry. I'm queer. We femme bashing again. No, you're

Bobby: 1:08:59

just taking it that way because you're sensitive. That's exactly why he said that though. Yeah, we knew final thoughts. But I don't want to go first this week.

Jim: 1:09:09

No, you have to go first.

Unknown: 1:09:11

Why? Why do

Bobby: 1:09:13

I have to go first?

Jim: 1:09:14

Oh, are we CTRL ALT deleting out of this simulation because you're supposed to go first every week.

Unknown: 1:09:19

Fine. Okay. Okay.

Bobby: 1:09:24

My final thought is make sure when you tell some of your friends your thought processes that they don't think you're psycho. Oh my god was that bad? My high. Was that bad?

The Miz: 1:09:40

Why is missing the second part of that statement?

Bobby: 1:09:45

What did I say? Oh my god. Sorry. What did I say I thought I sent it right.

The Miz: 1:09:51

When you do XYZ, there needs to be errors. Bla bla bla bla bla like when you Sharing

Unknown: 1:10:01

psycho.

The Miz: 1:10:05

You do this, then, oh my god, I'm falling out.

Jim: 1:10:10

When you're sharing your psycho Aha,

Bobby: 1:10:13

when you're dancing up with a theory, when you start believing in a theory and you're ready to tell your friends, make sure that they're ready to support you and your sound and your choices and your five minute audio book, because if they're not ready, they will fucking get mad at you. And tell you, you're stupid.

Unknown: 1:10:34

That's my final fucking. I fell out. I just fell out.

The Miz: 1:10:47

I literally just fell out. My final thought is when you are short, there's something that's reality. Really have your ducks in a row? And if not, then don't get mad. And don't think people are mad at you. When people just simply challenge that.

Bobby: 1:11:13

I can't wait to put that on the reel. That little challenge. And he did this like smile like

The Miz: 1:11:19

bitch. I'm not saying you're incorrect. I'm just challenge.

Bobby: 1:11:23

We knew that it was gonna be a challenge. If I had to make an audio book because we knew it was gonna be a challenge. We

The Miz: 1:11:28

love that you are saying that you made an audio book.

Unknown: 1:11:31

It's going live. Clip

The Miz: 1:11:35

NYT best selling audio

Bobby: 1:11:37

osers me I had to edit. I typed out all the fucking the female voice was me. Know. me it was reading.

Jim: 1:11:47

Oh, now he's mansplaining. Like, I

The Miz: 1:11:51

appreciate various points of view, but like, let's all just get real for a hot sec. That's my final thought.

Jim: 1:11:59

Okay, my final thought is, maybe we should all you know, leave the questioning of the nature of reality up to the philosophers and focus on getting our lives in order before we're freaking out about the nature of reality.

Unknown: 1:12:17

I don't wanna say anything, but

Bobby: 1:12:18

I don't I kind of want you to Don't hold back bitch.

Unknown: 1:12:23

Do it, do it. Now,

Jim: 1:12:28

they don't know anything more than we do. I mean, they do spend their whole lives

The Miz: 1:12:34

like spending 80,000 hours a year to study Fabi

Jim: 1:12:37

watched a YouTube video

Bobby: 1:12:39

you know was so I'm about to bury your fucking ass out of here.

Jim: 1:12:42

did watch a Hulu doc. So actually, really? What do the doc What do the philosophers do?

Bobby: 1:12:51

Well, I mean, honestly, you just have to believe them.

The Miz: 1:12:56

You're just majored in philosophy. Now. She's a therapist. So I don't know anyone who has

Jim: 1:13:03

like a massage therapist or what type

The Miz: 1:13:05

know like, like a drug counselor.

Unknown: 1:13:08

Oh, well. Oh, wow.

Bobby: 1:13:10

So I'll probably be seeing her.

Unknown: 1:13:13

I'll be nice to go to her. Well,

Bobby: 1:13:15

weed is not a drug.

Unknown: 1:13:17

It's part of the math is

Bobby: 1:13:21

true. If I was in math, we would all know to be skinny. Yeah, no offense anybody out there thank you for listening and please make sure

The Miz: 1:13:31

I want to do my thing co because I feel like that's what I need to get to the next level. I don't know it would

Bobby: 1:13:36

work you'll you'll definitely touch on your simulation. Like you'll watch

Jim: 1:13:40

out but you'll be hot. Right?

Bobby: 1:13:41

It'll be like sweat like

Unknown: 1:13:43

like my like fuel photos will be hot.

Jim: 1:13:47

Yeah, we'll have lipstick

The Miz: 1:13:49

I can I can be like a breeze with no shirt.

Unknown: 1:13:52

Oh. Wear that

The Miz: 1:13:58

and and somehow I'm so fat that I can't fucking do that.

Bobby: 1:14:02

I'm so tardy body shaming yourself and others

The Miz: 1:14:05

can pull off a fucking coat Sukkot with no shirt now.

Jim: 1:14:09

Yep. Because we're gonna do crop tops when we're there in June. So get ready.

Bobby: 1:14:12

My body is not doing well. And I'll have everyone looking this way.

The Miz: 1:14:17

Yeah, cuz you too are confident. I'm not I'm not

Unknown: 1:14:22

saying I'm not confident.

Jim: 1:14:23

I'm delusional,

Bobby: 1:14:25

which is fair, and that's because you're in a really bad situation.

Unknown: 1:14:35

Listen, no.

Bobby: 1:14:37

Well, we are done basically. Well, make sure you share with your friends and thank you for showing up through another week. Wait when's your when's Mrs. Show?

The Miz: 1:14:51

Nevermind.

Jim: 1:14:52

24

The Miz: 1:14:53

No, shut the fuck up. Nevermind Okay, baby.

Bobby: 1:15:00

Geez, what more info on that?

The Miz: 1:15:01

We will not have more info on that

Unknown: 1:15:03

we will have Well, we will. No info on that we will and we will post it.

Bobby: 1:15:08

Yeah, and that's about it guys. Really? Yeah, that's really truly.

Jim: 1:15:12

And honestly, if you're in a simulation, why would you be wasting it listening to our podcast? Because of its simulation, you could do whatever you wanted like you could be constantly jetski

The Miz: 1:15:26

control holder and once

Jim: 1:15:29

that's true, so that's me. Oh, you're the controller? Well,

Bobby: 1:15:32

I'm in my own universe just like you're in your own universe. Just like misery. You're spying on me when I'm in the shower. I knew it. I wish I could do that. creep. I'm sorry, this this. I know I'm burping are being bird.

Unknown: 1:15:47

larvae. Okay, okay. Breezy Midge. It's breezy. I'm burping. Well,

Bobby: 1:15:55

guys, see you next week. Bye.

Unknown: 1:15:58

Bye. Bye. I gotta go. Hi. I'm stopping it. Okay, we're stopping it. Thank you for listening to another episode of She's Not Doing So Well. Leave a message with questions or comments at 669-207-4643 Don't forget to subscribe and check out our links in the podcast description of this episode. These information will be expressed in the official policy or position of ingredients. This has been a house of great production