It's No Wonder You didn't find love, You didn't pay for it (Gay & Straight Dating)

Welcome to She's Not Doing So Well. It's a podcast. I'm Bobby. I'm not the tongue. My tongue is in my throat. I'm gonna try to limit the fox to love it. I'm just so awkward at this God. Hello everybody and welcome to She's Not Doing So Well I'm Bobby. I'm Jim. We want to welcome our new listeners and our old ones. We're very happy that you're back. We really appreciate all of our buds all use all us all yells and days. Honestly, we're so thankful for all of our buds, no seeds, no stems you guys can get out. You just want to see them blow that up. We're gonna have a really good episode Actually, I we're going to talk about dating. I like it dating and is it just Like our experience with dating or now Henty it's gonna be a gay that's gonna come in studio, and we're gonna get a gay, a gay and a straight. Well, I don't identify them, actually all of them. But yeah. You never know. We don't know. But they're basically looking for love, love and I want to talk about just the little things that people forget about, especially like us. We're kind of out of touch. We It's been a while. It's been a while. And we talked about this a little bit in the last episode, so we're definitely having Jackie over. Oh, Jackie, slash Jessica. Jessica. I don't know if we're gonna have Jessica or Jackie, though. So we'll hopefully Jessica flame. Yeah. So we're just trying to kind of like, because I've had people write and say, Hey, why don't you just talk about dating? I wonder about dating Bah, blah. So let's talk about it. Let's I do want to know if it's different now than when we were dating. I think maybe, I mean, it's only 25 sellers, right? Yeah, but that's a long time true. half a decade. like half of these apps did not exist when we were writing people were on Tinder. We're actually like you were on a date. Now we're ending on Tinder Craigslist chat rooms like yeah, like these apps. did not exist, right like, I mean sending a dick pic was something you probably it was, but it was a process other load it right? Yeah first first go here's my deck and it's like okay. Oh, we're really excited to talk to them. So what's going on with you this week? I had a great experience. Full sarcasm. Yeah, so I went to like a family cookout. It sounds great. So yeah, the things like, you know, the protests came up Black Lives Matter of course just you know, completely terrible comments that you hear where you're like, there's no rescue in this situation like to sit there and yeah, you cannot you're not going to convince some of these people like when you hear what they say listen to them because they're giving you clues like, are they someone who's just a little has questions and they maybe could hear your side, the correct side and maybe they would change your mind or is it someone who they've got their Trump talking points and they're not coming back from this? And that's the situation I was in. Oh boy. Yeah. So you know all the looting and the riots and all this is ridiculous. And you know, just like, haha, so maybe those are different groups of people than the peaceful protesters that are all over the country. But anyways, so I had to hear that and then I had to hear that, you know, Trump's not really anti LGBTQ like, of course, they just said anti gay because they forget about the all the other letters and all the other people in the group. But he's not really anti. I'm worried about the pluses. Yeah, well, you are this hour plus Europe. You're a plus size. I'm a plus size model. Well, you should be I've tried honey with those tickets. But this chest with this Yes. And this body with this face with this round and just go ahead and Photoshop me honey. I could Photoshop you onto a smaller body. Well, it wouldn't be as good No, but yeah, like oh, Trump's not really anti gay like no, no, no. Now he, he's not gonna try to take away gay marriage. I'm like, well, as we'll get into when we get into the news section, he actually is trying to do that. And I try to explain that. Well, he's not really trying to end gay adoption. No, he actually is. Oh, no, he's not taking away like anti discrimination clause. No, he's not. Um, you know, it's just like, staring at your screen like this. I'm Wow. Like, I remember, I'm literally your son, like, you should be paying attention because it directly affects me. I just love the people that do that. Like, it's hard to explain to them. Like, I have a situation where it was like a whisper conversation. So of course, like, somebody comes in and they're like, you know, almost riots and all that stuff. You know, we could have avoided this because, you know, those two knew each other. So it wasn't really like a racial thing. I go, uh, I go, do you understand what's going on in this country right now? I think that's the part that people are missing. It's not about I mean, it is about George Flint. George Floyd was the breaking point. Yeah, but there are so I mean, there was there was a lot going on, and it's still happening and still Last night in Atlanta somebody got shot and killed the thing that I you know, you shouldn't run from police right? You shouldn't but if you're running or you're running Are you a deadly threat that you should be right held for right No, they should let like what is so I mean we're in a world now where we have people's faces we have their license plates we have Yeah, I mean they probably could have been like well well that's pretty easy to find. Yeah, pretty easy to find that But no, we're gonna shoot and to me that there's something wrong not system and not in the leg not where you take them out right can't run anymore right in their bat in their chest where their heart is or at their head. It is not to try to get people to just stop running right it's to kill them again. To me they shouldn't be the ones that are inflicting the law like that's why we have a judicial system that's why we have like systems in place so yes, what you need to do is apprehend now if they run Okay, that's a sign don't kill them. No, but you don't kill them. You'll find them I promise, like the way that we are now. You'll find and what is it Oh, Like, is this Osama bin Laden's running down the street, right? And it's like, well, should we just kill him? Because we know what he's done right? Or is it just a potential? We need to investigate this further, but this person is terrified of police because of what he sees on Twitter, YouTube as a lived experience. Yeah. So maybe he's running for a reason. Yeah. And then you kill him. Right? So that's the thing. People are really like, you're not the judge and the jury. You are the cops apprehend them? What was the conclusion of your cookout? We tried to just present evidence. And so you know, it's like, well, I know this won't work. But like we told them, we were like, no, like, even this very week, they the Trump administration filed briefs with the Supreme Court to try to end gay adoption, like that was this week, and he's appointing judges who currently hold the opinion that marriage equality should be invalidated. It was not a good decision by the Supreme Court to say gay marriage should exist. And it's that it's gone that quick and it's gone. Quick. And so I'm like, Yeah, like that was just a few years back and they're trying to turn it back just like they're trying to do with Roe v. Wade, and, you know, your ability to have an abortion as a woman. They want to turn all this back. And so they're constantly Yeah, we're judges slowly going back to 1965. Right? Like if I slowly mean quickly, right? We just celebrated loving day and it's like, which was when the Supreme Court said, I think in 1967 is only 52 years ago. 53 years ago. Yeah, three years ago, we were like, okay, black and white people can get married Think about that. 53 years ago. I mean, it's not that far back, right. So Oh, so not like, twice your life's like 17 years before I was born. But you might people could not get dates. Your Bible. I'm pretty there. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Wow, I must be going to the temporary podcast category. Listen, kids are like your 35 bitch. Well, it's quite true. But listen, I listen. I'm connecting to you, gramps now. They're like, you're on the TIC tocs the TIC Tock tic Tock Yeah, so that's pretty but yeah, it's just like when you look back in time like it's like we were saying when we were talking about the protests and Floyd, how it's really not that long ago when people are like, oh racist and we got over that after the Civil War see color? No, we did and but yeah, so I try to present that with my family and they don't they don't want to hear it. Yeah, cuz they don't want to change your opinion. So they're not going to listen, but I just what is it gonna take you hanging on a wall? Like I mean, what's Yeah, that's what I mean. You have to wonder like, because they love me they love my partner. They do but yes, right here like no, I'm not saying they don't but I'm saying like you're saying but like, Do you really love me or do you love me? Because if you love me specifically, or like, would you love me if I were marching down the street and a group of people that were like me, right, do you like my community? Right? Do you even like would you know, my friends want You know, I am I like to, but it's like you it's just a heart. That is that there's a disconnect when I first came out, this is gonna be a totally separate subject, but I just want I want to like go for it real quick. When I came out, I was always afraid to bring like more femme gay guys around. Yeah, that was like one of the things where I'd be like, Oh, this is so and so. And I'd be like, Oh my God, please don't come out. Like please don't like, but why don't bend your wrist? Yeah, like, oh god bend am I actually my mom surprised me because one of the friends that I brought like, she was like, we're having another drink. And I was like, oh, okay, like cool. So with him you want him to Yeah, so I'm like, Okay, looks like yes, Queen ish. But then if I did, it should be like, Bobby, Bobby, your boy, a man. I really do feel like the next frontier is trans rights. That is the next letter where we have to be like, What the fuck is going on? Well, I think what's gonna end up happening in here like not to go too long, but we're going to merge. There's a merging happening right now. So you've seen a lot of like on the black lives matter the email with the inner young shades like we talked about with Brandon The intersections are hitting right now. But oh yeah, I think what's happening is everybody's Waking the fuck up and people are going, wait, wait, maybe, maybe we need to if we all go together, we'll take them over. Maybe if we all recognize each other's rights, right? Then we will all be in a better place. Wow, not just black lives matter, but black trans Lives Matter, right? trans women are women. And you know, this whole analogy of like, the All eyes matter. It was like saying that and it's super, like, it's really annoying to try to explain to somebody like, Listen, right now. The Black Lives are the ones that are at risk. Again, it's like the whole like fire in the house. There's houses everybody's house matters. But if a house is on fire, you're not gonna water the house that's not on fire. Right? So the Black Lives Matters movement is on fire. The trans rights and LGBT now is like starting to blaze. We need to fucking take it out. And we need to do it together. And I really want to, I don't know, I really want us to come together. I think we will or we are when you Yeah, I think we are when you look at the protests happening around the country. Mm hmm. It seems Like they are, you see, these are like, the black lives matter when we're in the middle of Pride Month and this you know, everyone's like pride is canceled and we, you know, it is like, Oh, that's sad like we've seen that parade but this is pride pride is a riot or right now we're pride is a riot. That's how pride started. When you look at Stonewall, it was a riot. Yep. And that's what's happening now. It's okay. It's okay. To me. This is Pride Month, it feels more like pride month than it ever has nothing really happened with me this week. Actually, I'm like, kind of like you last week where I'm just kind of like every week, I guess I'll say this the good for me this week. Because I you know, again, we're trying to structure our show. I don't know if you notice, you'll notice this show that it's kind of a little more structured. We're gonna try to follow this pattern. So give us a little time to get it right. I've seen a lot of neighbors putting up their blacklivesmatter signs, but also I saw there's a house like up one street that has like a huge giant fist in the front yard. Love gay pride, flag and Black Lives Matter. I'm telling you it's really funny. intersections are coming. Yep. So that made me feel really good. I'm like, okay, like, maybe it's time for us all to stop judging each other. Uh huh. and work together and get this motherfucker out. Like you said last week. There you go vote this motherfucker out. I'm out. I think it's time for some news. We watched the primary election in Georgia. Tragic. I don't six hours in line and to vote in a primary. And you'll notice a trend of where those six hour lines we're downtown. Not in right yeah, majority areas. Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh, we remember Molly wonder who that could you Molly in Atlanta. That was like my daughter in 2012 Nirmala was going off on Molly, Molly post and says I'm so proud to be a Georgia's voter lines weren't bad at all. how privileged Are you right lines weren't bad. were either Live anyway and Alpharetta which in Alpharetta, okay, it's like you don't have any problems. You're rich, right? My life's fine. So everyone's life is fine. I love Georgia. Okay. I wonder why it would be a problem for minority voters to vote. What could it be? Oh, it's cuz Why? And also because it's ongoing voter suppression voter suppression. And in part of the reason this is happening is because in 2013, the Supreme Court gutted the Voting Rights Act, which previously states when they changed election laws would have to go to the federal government and say, Hey, we're changing this, like, does this seem okay to you guys? Because we have a very strong history of not letting black people vote. Hmm, I wonder why that is. I wonder why that is down in the south. We don't let the black people vote and I wonder what it's weird because all those things are red. So right now, right sure that they're not voting for those motherfuckers and I know for I mean, yeah, sure. If you haven't, you know the gays for Trump in the blacks for Trump's but like, Man, it's a minority, like 5% of people would not vote red, right? If they could get to the goddamn polls. So and that's the people these people are pretty brave, they're staying in line could lose their jobs could lose their jobs, like their whole lives are on hold for six hours to vote. And it's a primary. It's not even like it's not even the general election. It's not it. This is to pick the candidate. This is what I mean that shows you like, so what's gonna happen people actually Yeah, like people want to vote. They do. So why are we making it harder for people to vote? And that's what you have to wonder is why in this country, are we making it harder for people to vote? Because the power structure is under assault when people vote I can just look at what I really see the lineup and I have friends in Georgia and they were like, I stayed in line and I did this and I'm just sitting here thinking like, I cannot believe that this shit is actually happening in 2020 when we pay our taxes via The internet I go through TurboTax. But we can't vote. Yeah, you can electronically. Oh, but we can't mail in votes and we can't. They won't even let you vote today on tuition to where your vote is a lot easier to be given, especially for the President. Especially for your locally. I mean, like every election really matters. But like, what a pain in the dick Stacey Abrams was running in Atlanta for governor. And that camp guy one over the same kind of issue. Yeah, no, I know. And so now it's continuing because he's empowered. Right. So yeah. So they all arranged the rules to work for them. Yeah, yep. And so they're just making it one vote per person. Everyone gets a chance get the vote in we'll see where we're at. It's all about arranging the structures new story to the LGBT rights are disappearing. And yeah, we earlier Yeah, like when I was talking to family, and they're like, no, this isn't happening. It's happening. It's like I you know, when you hear from people you love like that. No, that's not how it really is. You have to take a moment and check yourself. You're like, Am I being ridiculous? Like, I mean, right? I'm kidding, go on camera and say we're gonna put all the gay people in camps and kill them off. Now you're right. He didn't do that. But no, no, they are dismantling everything that protects us. But surely, like, I looked back to even 2017. Within hours of him being inaugurated, all the federal websites weren't completely scrubbed, of mentioning gay people. So any pages or federal websites were like, here's how we protect the LGBTQ plus community. Here's how they have a role in our society. Gone, all those web pages suddenly disappeared. So like if you were looking from the outside in and you were in another country, and you're like, I wonder what the government does to protect gay people. Those websites are gone, you find out that all these anti discrimination clauses for trans people regarding in regards to health care, those have been eliminated their rules in the Health and Human Services Department, they just said now We don't think that trans people are really protected by these laws. So yeah, go ahead challenge it, because we're not going to stand up for the trans community. We got a lot to do. Like, what we've got a lot to do in this country. Like there's a big problem and it's called, why the fuck Can everybody just be equal? Why can we all right along like, Why are trans people any less people? Why are we looking at them and going well now? Well, you know, their, their gender that they identify with do not match what we assign them at birth. So like, they're not real people, and we're not going to protect them. I want to make a comment about like being gay as a gay person when they're like, when you hear people like, why are they This is a choice. It's a choice. You're doing this on purpose. You're going to hell, why would like and this is a legit comment. Why would I choose to live a harder life? Why would anybody choose? Like you're choosing this it's like, but why would I choose? Why would I choose this? Why the fuck would I? Why the fuck would someone who's trans say I don't feel like myself. Know what It's not a game. It's Yeah, right. These are real people with real feelings and there are a lot of again, suicide is a huge fucking problem. Yeah. getting murdered. It's a huge Why would you say yeah, I want to do that I'm gonna line up for that group like ourselves so bad that you were willing to risk murder you were willing to risk ridicule you're willing to risk like you're willing to risk losing your family. No when I just like when I was growing up and everyone would be like, well maybe he's just confused and maybe it's like I do not have a choice in how what gender I feel I am right or in who I'm attracted to. Like that is not at all. I am not like do you think I'm gonna pick being attracted to men? Let me let me time let me not get married and let me well now we're rolling back. Let me not get married and not have kids. Yeah, cool. I don't want to even though my whole family says that getting married and having kids is the ultimate ideal life literally, it was thrown down my throat from the beginning. So I don't understand why you would choose that right and again, It's not that. Well, his mother called him No. And then to make everything worse in the past, you know, two weeks, the Trump administration filed a brief with the Supreme Court to say that religious organizations which take taxpayer money, so they're taking taxpayer money, but the Trump administration wants them to be allowed to discriminate against gay people and say, we're not going to place kids even in the foster system with gay couples. So we're not going to let gay couples adopt we're not going to let gay couples foster kids because I guess they're evil and it's terrible and we'd rather have kids in the foster system never have a family right? instead of placing with gay couples oh but me well what my partner's a doctor and I work a full time job as a person that in a good field we have a great home we have a dog we have our we have we pay our bills. We're not in debt, like normal fucking people. Oh, no, you won't be because of what they do in the bedroom because of what they do in the bedroom. We can have children in this household and and the Trump administration is like that's great. Do that. Like we should not. We should not be allowing gay adoption. That's what they want to do. Did you just shout that? Yeah. Oh, I thought that was pre recorded. We're here with Jackie and James. JACK neighbor, jack. Hey, James. James, tell us a little bit about yourself. I'm gay. Okay. To turn 30 when a mom is young, yeah, we don't like to put people into categories but but if we had to, I want the listeners to know what he looks like. Describe yourself talks one. Okay, like all burn red hair. Yep. Nice. And you still have hair so like, and he's got a body. Oh, he's got a body. Oh, come on. otter. Yeah. Oh, wait, you have hair like it's true. But it's there. You're not another if you trim. That's an otter. No, he's an otter. Yeah, I would say if it could become this, but I okay and then we're here with Jackie and Jackie, same question. What are you? Young twink little twink 30 straight. five, seven. Dark brown long brunette hair. black eyes. palest of skin. You really paint the picture for if you prick your finger on a rose thorn. Oh, Jackie, I want you to tell us a little bit about your axe. I teased it for the people last week but your 2020 goal or not only 20 your birthday? Yeah, like the birthday? What my 30th Yeah, what got a ruin was supposed to be okay. Well, you know me and you know that I've always been about building my career. And finally I'm, I've built it. I'm in a good place and I was like, Okay, I'm 30 I rarely date like I date but I don't like have long term goals. Folks, so I thought 30 is gonna be the year I'm gonna find that someone to settle down with but then what happened the whole world shit on me and like maybe it's maybe it's not not not a good there's a reason though ya know I always think things happen for a reason I'm not saying don't happen for reason I'm not saying anything happened for a reason but I'm just I think I think 20 year 30 was not my universe is saying let's pump the brakes the beginning maybe you'll find like a summer love but I know I'm in I'm not saying that it has to be love but I think 2020 the outcome could be something good no matter what I think so because you're starting from the bottom. Now we're here. Yeah, so like everybody should have a better Well, I guess I can get worse but so we're starting from the bottom and now we're here. Speaking of bottom, bottoms back to Bobby. So jack Hey, what? What are we looking for in a man because I've always wondered this when I want you both to answer Because I know what I'm looking for in a man and it's I feel like it's different. Well sometimes I feel like it's different than what strikers are looking for in a man same as it's completely the same. I mean, below the bell above the bell, what are we going for here? And that goes to you and that also goes to you to JM sir, hi, may I may go whoever wants to go first. I may, you can go first a little cowboy. Okay. Um, when I look in a man not a boy a man, um, stability. You know, family oriented. When you say stability. Do you mean thick and like sturdy? Or do you mean like, mentally mentally and so? Yeah, I mean career. Like, could I get your same question? I like stability. I agree. I didn't realize I was looking for that until I was much older than you. Oh, Is that what this is like? Where you just wake up and things are the same pretty much every day and you're like, Okay, I can get used to this. Can you though? That why Is that wrong? Yeah, cuz to be honest with you, I think over time you are kind of like, it is tiring. You do want a little spice in the relationship but stability is nice. Okay, looking for a good thing. So that's so that's one thing one thing What are physically zero like a type? Also stability, Bobby. So I got one thing you're like so stable. Do you mean to pick five? Yeah, neither. I don't know if I have a tie. He likes twinks actually, like someone a little older. Well, I do about my age. Let me um, when it comes like types, as long as you can carry a conversation or like, know when to do things together. I think that's like, ready to be in love. Like you don't have to look a certain Way to say the same answer. No, no, no. What type of role Are you looking to play in a relationship? Why are you laughs top bottom verse? What are we going? Oh, all right. Yeah, I was figuring that question. Because unfortunately, I feel like when gays are dating, that's actually a thing. What is it that like so now, are you a top or a bottom? And you're like, Can we just date first and figure that out? later? Nope. Everyone wants to ask about it immediately. Two bottoms on like a top. Right. Well, that's actually true. Look at you and me. To top so make a bottom either. That's true. I mean, I don't you feel like that shouldn't be a thing. But like you're automatically assigned roles. Right? In a community. Yeah, I feel like I feel like you are but is it is important. Is it important to you? Not really, right. But I think a lot of guys they want to know that because they don't waste their time. So like Looking for the first things like, there's a bottom, I'm looking for a top So, okay, I think everyone should be a little more artsy. I think there's 180 there's a lot of 20 who are afraid of being yet feminized being bought 100% there's a lot of bottom shaming in the community, as we've experienced. Oh, you're talking to hon Oh, honey, I'm looking right at you. You haven't you've never been like a euro bottom. No. I'm a bear, honey. Okay, interesting way to invalidate all these. I'm a novelty though. So you are kind of a novelty. So you're like your verse. I'm more of a top verse. The verse comes on, comes along when it's like, birthdays. Yeah, exactly. If we're not dating, then you're strict. Tom. Yeah, you don't get this time and jack Hey, same question for you. You. I do want to know are you like a reverse cow? Girl. Yeah. Do you guys ask you like, do you like to take it in the ass? It's a question. I Oh, it's always a question. Well, let's explain why we want to know that why. Oh? All right. Well, we do want to know because we're kind of like when we look I feel like when gay guys look at a straight guy, they're looking for different reasons. Okay, and sometimes it's like a fantasy thing. And so like well James just said stability. Okay, that's fair. So then what are you what are you looking for in a guy? Oh, I wanted to play are we talking about we don't need to play well no, because I've been wondering are strikers looking for things and guys, that is different than what gay guys are looking for? Are we talking sexually? Are we talking like, Oh, that's what I'm like. Are you looking for the same thing that I'm looking for? Probably what are you looking for? Same as James basically. And then same as stability hopper stop. You know, someone who is settled down older Yeah. Same check for me. Yeah. You don't want I don't want 30 I don't want to date a college kid. I don't want to date an early 23 you know, 23 might be fine. 24 would be would work, but I know I think I'm like, I have a really old soul and I feel Yeah, I cannot see with a 20 I think I'm a 72 year old Italian woman. Yeah, some Feist you are you definitely. I don't want to I don't want to date like 22 year old. I like I wouldn't if I'm 30 I'd rather date a 45 year old an 18 and foggy. Right, like I'd get fucked by a 22 year old. Uh huh. But I would probably want to date somebody older. Yep. Right. Or like, yep. And like Michael's got an old soul. Like he reads like I see older than you. I'm like, No, and he acts like a grandpa. Yeah, right. I mean, he's very mature. I mean, I think when I'm the grandma, where do girls go to find this? some of our other straight friends are like trying to use the apps and They're kind of difficult. They're turning in the grinder and they're turning the grinder where guys are literally just looking for sex and you're like, Wait a second, right? I thought the women respond first blah blah blah. No you think dick pics anyway, all the apps out there? Is that how they weren't? Well were How old were you when you first use them? He was on Craigslist. Oh, yeah, literally. You were on Yahoo chat get was my first ever and Yahoo chat was the first time I got grounded and suspended and all that. Oh boy. Oh, you're being bad. Yep. And when you were 1418 and we have genes and that's about my high school. boyfriend. No. And I said something like, I want to suck your dick or something like that. Oh, no. Eighth grade and that's really young to say. Those words, something of that. Oh, do you want me to suck your dad and tell my parents And apparently had like the AOL Yahoo. Like filter. Yeah. Whereas like if she says word suck fun Yeah. But they go to them right. So yeah, that was not the most terrifying experience probably. Yeah. When your parents are like we have to talk. It's like, Oh, no, I have to sync I know that I want to talk about Saxon. That's something that my parents never really talked to same, right saying, I'm in eighth grade. has all these questions and like, nobody showed this imagination and then no one's filling in? Nope. And they never do. Yeah, I show you fucking chlamydia, though. Yeah, the shaders remember that if they never show like the normal stuff, you didn't get AIDS and die. It's like, yeah, if you're a gay and you have sex with a gay, you can get HIV and it was like, it was basically like, you're gonna get it until I went to college. I felt like all people were gay had HIV. Like, I mean, basically, yeah. Catholic High School. It was like, well, the gays have HIV. You're like, haha, all of them. Apparently. So James, tell us some of your past experiences with dating. Like, who have you dated? Who's your longest relationship? What were your favorite positions? I think growing up in like a small town and coming out at a young age, I was really, really confused what I kind of wanted. how young were you? I was 16 Oh, that's great. Wow. Yeah. And in a small town, it was really, really hard because I didn't know like how to like, find those answers. Because I had to tell like a lot of people and like, it was like the scariest time. But wait, can't go past that. So why was it scared? Where's your family accepting of it or No, no. My mom always told like me, my sister that if she ever had a gay child, she would disown them for life. So that was always my biggest fear. And then like my parents, like lived in two different houses and they split up but I was like, you know, I'll go live with dad because As you know, you're struggling financially with like, my sister's boyfriend and her. And like one day like, it just came out like I had to come out to like my dad and he just kind of like threw all my stuff out in the yard and told me that you know, you did this one I have a gay son. Um, so it was like really hard, but I don't think I would change like the rough time because now looking like at guys and looking around like I understand certain things like it made me grow up and like, see like that negative people like that. You know, you finally positive album. So you thought you were living with the more accepting parent but then when you came out? Yeah, you were kicked out kinda Yeah. Um, wow. The school had to like provide a counselor because I would come to school like so emotional. But again, I probably wouldn't change it because I am who I am today. And I wouldn't really see what I see if I didn't have to go through all that hell. Yeah, that's why I also want stability because, you know, I want that fame I've never had. Um, but yeah, so I almost been married twice. Okay, almost proposed, maintain your long term release. Yeah. Um, and the other one I almost got proposed to, but just like life happened, and I've never been even even once, but James gets three times. So just someone out there telling us only twice. Wait, so what was your longest relationship then? Um, about three and a half years. Oh, wow, you've been in love. And then that would you call? It was was love or was it had to be? It was true. Well, I think what happens is when I find you're the person, I feel like you then that's what love is and the other ones were just like, Oh, I feel like you found Yeah, you found your person and then he had to go. Can I ask a question? Yeah, do you think you only had one person? Like you thought you thought you had all these people but then when you met Michael you were like, Oh, those weren't the number one two actually. No, no, I i've there's like two others ever really? So you have three? Yeah. Three people. Yeah, I mean, Michael was I didn't actually when I met Michael I was like, I don't want to date anybody ever again. like legit I was done like I was done it was too emotional. Change now I need it we need Um, okay. So you propose to someone and were proposed to was going to propose so when you propose what happened why did why was going to win like a bunch of fighting started happening and then just we just like lost track. How old were you? seven points. Oh, that's Oh, my God. Well, this makes sense, though. I mean, it's all like kind of making sense though. Because you want stability. So it like makes sense because you've always wanted stability. Yeah, and you'll fight for that. Yeah, yeah. Such Okay, how many times have you been proposed to? Four? Zero? No. What's your longest relationship? What was the holdup? What's the 411? Give me the 411 Give me the deets. What was your longest relationship? How many years? Three? That's it. Yeah, that's a long time. That's not for my current my longest was nine months. So you're right. You're right. Yeah, three years, right. Yeah. I don't feel like a sweetheart counts, right? I mean, for some people, it counts. 100% Yeah, but me that I we dated on off throughout the four years like Nike. I don't know how long it really was. Alright, so then this other guy came in. And that's what then you were like, this is what love is. So it's 23 you always just go to the next one is love. Baby don't hurt me. No, mom. What is love? Okay. What happened? Why didn't it work? He probably had some stability issues Okay, it no and I think he had some childhood issues and I think that he had some grief issues that he never addressed and I don't we were together for almost three years and then he turned to like hard drugs. Okay and I did my best for like a year to deal with it try like it was way too stressful I decided it was best I part ways and then I think that was really good for him because he then moved out to Oregon marry this woman is now having a baby. I'm sorry but yeah, how did you get sober? You don't go from hard drugs to married and settled down like there's never well he probably went to Oregon to rehab came out ugly possibly Yeah, I don't know. I have cousins who went through this like there is no way so when you and doesn't go away when you ended it where you were still in love. It makes sense. Now to me, here we are. And I think that if some people were listening, they think that sounds really harsh. No, why doesn't I know I know I wouldn't be harsh because you can only do so much. Leave someone you're not you're someone else's addiction. You can sure hold on to that you can. Like do you feel guilty? Like do you feel like you didn't do enough? Like you gave up on him? He gave up on the relationship. I don't think that I did. But sometimes I think that I wonder if he thinks that. Yeah, I wonder if that's what he thinks. But also he let go the restaurant by starting doing hard drugs. But not that's also a sickness, though. So really, it's a dark place. And I felt like I had a responsibility to try and help them. But I, I just couldn't. There was nothing I could do when you're an addict. Like nothing comes before. What you're addicted to nothing, no relationship. No nothing. Okay, so after that relationship, has there been anything significant? Yeah, um, no, I mean significant, lasting instead A significant This is better than than this other guy, or have you ever met somebody that like gives you that same feeling one other person, but we'll get into that later. I hate to say I'm 30 and I've dated a lot of people, but Well, I feel like I have and then I think at this point in my life, like, if after like, two or three days, I get a really good read on you. And then I'm like, Okay, it's time to this is your not my person. Do you think you're harsher to people? Yes. But I don't think it's harsher. I think it's that I was reading a more like, well, could you fall into something where, like, fall off the wagon? Yeah. What I think is that fall off the wagon? No, no, I'm saying like you look at people when you say I hope that they don't fall off the wagon like later down the relationship like no one knows what you're saying. Why? Cuz you're high so stupid. Yes. Hmm. I makes Yes. Ah. Oh yeah. Yes. How you are I Now when you're off the wagon, tell me what the wagons I was saying, Are there big giant water wheels? Do you want to take old wheels? What I'm saying is she vets guys more because they she wants to make sure that she doesn't fall in love with them know that later down the relationship they don't fuck up aka fall off the wagon you were asking if I after two or three days I understand that person to like just did right and I say yes. You asked if I was here it just took you like 10 minutes to explain it but it works. Your job you asked if I was harder on them and I said no, I don't think so. I think it's more so I can just tell. Like I know what I want and like after three days I feel like you know someone you do know what you want. Oh, you do know what you wait because you haven't told us yet. Well, I'm sorry. It's that sibility earlier I was copying we want we want to know what you're looking for in a man and I'm talking about do you want that V line? Do you want that thick cock? What are you looking? What are you looking for looking for a tight ass you can for a little hairy pits but like trend? What do you like? Do you like a little scruff on the face? I need to know like fig man burn, man bond. If you're weird like that big tits will like muscular tissue. Oh, no, I was talking fat to it. Oh, I'm sorry. There's trouble? Yeah, actually, I've been done. I've been to LA with you. There are people into that you're welcome. You welcome. No, I mean like, I want to know what strikers are looking for in a guy because they're not very straight guys are not that great. No offense, but like, their personalities. Sometimes their sons their hygiene issues. They have a lot of mama issues. They just have a lot of issues. So fuck a lot. Yeah, any hole but so what is the strike You're looking for what are you looking for Honey? Transcribed by https://otter.ai