Keep Your Respite / Gay Community and Gay Bars

She's not doing so well. She's not doing so well. Send your questions and get it by is Bobby and bugs. They're really nice with new topics of the week. Is Everything analogy p t she's not doing so well. She's not always so well.

Welcome to. She's not doing so well, the podcast that is unhinged and on filter, but with a side of Sweden.

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Hello everybody. Welcome to another episode of She's not doing so I'll, I'm Bobby, I'm jam and we are here for another wonderful week. Oh, we're so glad you're back. Hopefully your came back from last episode. I yell ass up. So it was rough by, but it was good. Yeah, it was really good. I'm not really in a good spot right now. Hold on. He's just been moving around nonstop. He's turning the fan off. Oh, you're pointing at the fan. I thought you were pointing at our land last week. No. Who? I was like, Dang, that wasn't[inaudible] day. It wasn't his fault. It was rough. It was us. No, yeah, no. And then I hit my elbow on the table here and I was like, Oh God, he's a mess. Oh fuck. Anyways, I'll carry the episode this week. You did last week too, I think. I think you're always carrying the episode now. I know I can't, I can't handle the stress. So yeah, you carried the fucking scooter riding last weekend. Oh God. I'm my God. You're a man. That was fine. You scare the shit out of me. I know. I was doing like pirouettes on that. Yeah. Little scooter there like trying to run me off the fucking road and I'm like, well first of all I'm a little tech. Why tell you a story. Okay. You probably didn't hear it cause it was when we were looking in the bar. Remember when I got like mad and I was like, I'm getting on this line scooter. Okay. After the street and interviews, way after them at night, we were gonna attempt to maybe[inaudible]. I remember when you said you were going to get on the live scooter, but bird smartly bands you after midnight after midnight when I had the lime. So I was like, oh, I'm going to ride around. Well, there's a nice little car, little Mercedes sitting at the stoplight and I'm standing there and he goes, I could hear him talking to his friend, watched this guy. He's going to break that fucking scooter. Oh, excuse me. I might only be 10 pounds over the weight limit. So first of all, wait, you're over there. There's a weight limit. Yeah. I'm not saying what that weight limit is, but I've been riding 65 pounds is not a lie. I know. It's weird. Like honey, I'm, I'm watching my figure. I want to be like up on Insta one. Yeah. Okay. Maybe that is way better than it used to be. Okay. It is. No, it really is. That's when I met you to now you don't even look like the same person. Oh Wow. I guess I was like a fucking, we're like three less chins right now. Oh, that's nice. Thank you. And I have to be like that shit. I don't have to. Yeah. I think for fat shaming me on the podcast. Oh my God, just kidding. You did it this week, Bill Maher was fat shaming. Yes. I saw this in James Quarter. I didn't catch it. I read it. I quote car's show is like, I just can't because I mean he's got good points, but it does come across like that, like fashion, all of it. It's like almost mean is what, you probably have never seen this on HBO. So like no one watches it. I mean I've seen like Clinton late night, but they prerecorded but you don't need it. But yeah, he's like fat shaming him. And then was he fashion when James Corden or this oh that's bullshit. Fuck that. I think. And then cordon came back with some good sun wanes. Like, you know, fat shaming worked. There would be no fat kids in school cause they're constantly bullied. So, you know. Yeah. Um, but anyway, so I've got a lot of here you go on your Lyme living your best life. So I was like, I looked at my having fun and I went and rode away, but then I came back today to take an Uber but then you had to come back cause our birds weren't working and it was probably better off that I didn't ride the line after seeing fat shaming saves lives because we were at a fucking huge beer party. Oh yeah, let's talk about that. I was not expecting, I mean there was a lot of lot of bear and a lot of bear. Yeah, mostly here. Oh we saw pups too. We did see pod. I was like, hey puppy. We were like chatting with them like you knew them. They're like puppy. They're like, they ignored me cause they're mastering my puppy. Yeah. Puppies not allowed to talk to strangers. I'm like, Oh okay. But they didn't have chains on by the way. No, they didn't have the chains, but they were definitely falling[inaudible] I think they had like electric fence or something. That electric fan. A little electric fence to their masters. I don't know, I just don't get it. I'm not making fun of it, but I just think it's definitely interesting. It's a good word. Interesting. My mom always used to say things were interesting when she didn't like something. Oh, she'll go, that's interesting. Just like you just hit your gay. Interesting. Interesting. Yeah. Oh God. That's, well, we haven't done that episode yet, but Oh, that one's on the back burner. Honestly, not on the back burner, but here's what I was thinking. Actually no one wants to hear coming out stories is what I think I want to do a whole episode of coming out with a bunch of people's stories. Like everybody tell their like five minutes synopsis as well. Like maybe people can call in and leave us. Please call us or message message. Yeah. All you listen, nobody's gonna pick up. Don't be scared to call. It's literally an answering machine. It'll say, hi, I'm Bobby and you're welcome to. She's not doing well. A message service like it's so dumb. But all you have to do is calling to say, Hey, yeah, I think you get like two minutes. So give us a two minutes. Like, Hey, I came out, this is what happened. What was good, what was bad? That's a good idea. I'm going to be all right. I love those stories. I know they always throw back[inaudible] you and they do. And I think a lot of, actually I was taught, a lot of people have given me some feedback episodes and a lot of tears really digging it. Like, Oh yeah, I'm actually kind of surprised. I'm wow. His cheeks just got really red. I'm embarrassed and I'm just kidding actually. Well it is. It's kind of like weirdly. Yeah it is. It's like I never knew I would have anyone listening. Yeah. And we hit a big, I mean we have a lot now, so we've been joking about having six listeners to 45 mean right now to 76 last week. Now we're at 145 this is like unique listeners. So like people who've listened to more than one episode like, so that's a lot in the first month, like we've only been doing this for a month. Oh my God. I mean it seems like forever snips had a Redo episode of cramps gotten longer than that. It does, but it's been a month. Okay. So it is what it is is what it is. Well the, let's go back to that beer party because we had a bear party. Can we talk about one thing? What? I sound like an asshole and I'm not, I just don't understand. Oh the nowhere in deodorant thing. Yeah. Cause it definitely had a distinct odor at the party. I mean it was two of them that do it. I don't, I understand like the[inaudible] they want the whole like real male smell. Like it's like MOUs, Musky. I mean it was the point where I was wanting to and I'm like listen, I am very excited and everything. But that was like sign me when you're ripping Tequila shots, you do not need anything else to make you want to vomit. And there was some, when I end drinking my fucking white claw. Oh yeah. I don't need that sent. Right. I don't need to ruin, ruin my mango. Don't ruin the claw. Don't ruin the claw. We're really, we're really trying to get a sponsorship. Honestly. I know we all call Carlos. We have 145 listeners now. So yeah, that was the huge bear bear party. I shine at bear parties cause you were getting so many looks. I was like, I, I'm too small to be at a bear party apparently. But you're like an honor. We talked about this. So you had like a little chest hair out. You're like, oh, like I'm, no one was looking at me right there. Probably one they were looking at you. They're probably like, who's that guy with me? And then they saw[inaudible] too, so it was like, and then they dropped off all, oh no, no. They'd probably thought that though. You're my puppy, but I didn't have a leather mask. We should dress you as a pup one time and just see what happened. I would do it. I think that's what we need to on the show. It's like I can't pee in public, so I'm not like, oh my God, I can't either. That's like something that cadets out I can't pay in public. And it's not about my dick know about just, I feel like people are listening and waiting for him to pee. Yes, and they are. They're like, sorry, you pain[inaudible] there's a line. Oh, I don't even get in line anymore. I'm not going. We went to the movie theater where you saw it and I was waiting for them. There was a big line. I was like, nope. And I knew there was another bathroom around the corner. I went there and there was another line, but I was like, I'm gonna wait for this one over here. I'm not paying and I can't pee next to somebody. It's really hard. I don't know. I mean a divider will help, but if there's not a delighter it's over. It's straight over and I'm tall, so I feel like I can see dick below me. Sometimes you can, but then I feel like they can, I don't know. It's just awkward. Like I'm just like, I don't want to, I don't know. I just feel constant noise. It's all of it. It, it's, it's a lot. I, yeah, I mean I'm sure we're getting judged for, but I kept public. I can't either. So anyway, we can't be pops then. We could not be potted like they're like[inaudible] dryer hydrant. It's like not going to be able to do that. I can only poop. I'm like less. It's a single stall fire hydrant. Not pooping in public. You're good. You have got that down. That's really weird. Actually I didn't think of that. That a Po, I used to play with a local bar here that is closed or went from a gay bar to a straight bar, but they had like really good dividers. I don't care. And I remember one pride, I was like, I know I can go into love fucking poop. And I said thank you. I don't care any anymore cause it's called like, it's like a straight guy now it's gone. Which I mean this actually that ties into our Jerry or Jerry interview that we have a good interview. But our topic today is kind of about community community because we've been wondering like what is it, what role did the gay bars play in it? What do we play in it? Who? Pride, what is it? Yeah. Um, there is something interesting about speaking of community. Just before we even get into that segment, did you hear about the two Poles? Victims? Wait, what? I sent you an article about the two poles. Guns. I got the email, but you're going to have to honey. Tell me I'm down coming honey. Bitch, I'm coming. Any Bitch? He had his own name. Okay. So basically long story short, um, two guys that were in the massacre that lived, okay, so they were at pulse during the massacre. They now have found God, which I didn't know cause you're gay, you couldn't find God. So that's number one. They found God and now they are x gays and they started a club called, or like in a club, what's it called? Not a club. What's it called? An organization organization called like x gays. And their whole big thing is they found Christ and that's why they're not gaining more. No, I get it. You had a moment that was like pretty life jarring. Yeah. Terrifying. But I mean this is a little like what's the point of the organization to find Jesus? If you were a gay, you can become an escape and make common ex-gay basically. I was like conversion therapy basically. Basically. Yeah. I think that is, which is just this whole idea that you know, gay is bad so you can get rid of this badness. Right. By finding Jesus. I know. Jesus. FYI. He's my homeboy. Yeah. You had the Tucker hat. Yeah, I had the shirt. Oh, you did my home boy burgers. My homeboy boy, that's a whole other story. Burton from the use is no, but anyway, I just think it's ridiculous. Yeah. I mean the same Jesus that forgives the murderer on the cross. We talked about that. Apparently we'll never forgive someone for loving who they love, I guess. And you were in a place like this is that to yourself and it's revolutionary man who lived 2000 years ago is somehow not going to be able to handle. Meanwhile he like man, loving a man, like it's too much. I almost think he was guiding me while he didn't have a wife, didn't have kids. So I think he might've been gay. He might be. Might've been, might still be. Yes. I mean that's probably, well, I dunno, I, you know, married to the church, which is what we should have done, let's say. No, we really shouldn't[inaudible] gaze. Okay, well we're going to do it p s that's not possible. But yeah, I don't agree that there was no way off it. Really precedent. Not Real. Because then you have people who are struggling to even come out and be themselves. And then you have these fuckers that are like, and I'm sorry you went through a tragedy. I get it. You went through a fucking tragedy. It's awful. But you don't need to make it even harder for someone else to exist because you went through a tragedy, right? And you're just as bad as the person that came up there and fucking shooting you up. I hate to say it. I'm not making this light like this. So you're, you're preaching hate and spreading it, right? You're preaching the hate against person. Used a gun to do it. And he learned the hate from people like you who are basically saying, I got it. Because they do think that that particular shooter was probably gay. Oh, he won all the websites behind her. Maybe had been rejected. Who knows? But yeah. It's scary. It's a scary world. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and meanwhile there's like 550,000 bears were at the party were at. I'm like, oh, hey. Like any moment, I'm not getting Outta here. Like there's no, there'd be a stampede. Oh my God. They're stampede. It would smell terrible. Oh my. Ooh. We'd be on the ground. I'd be like, I can't lay down, lay down. I'm talking role. I'm a pup. I'm looking block all over me, you know? Um, but yeah, so that's like, that's what our community's facing all the time. You go into the news, you read these stories and you're dealing with this on a daily basis just for who you love and who you are. Yeah. Just let it sink in. I mean, it's that simple. It's that simple. When you woke up. I'm talking to the straight people right now because I will, I will say it, this episode when we had[inaudible] name, they are the streets love us hunting. Oh Wow. Hi. Thank you for our straight, straight high straights. That sounds so condescending. It's not, but then we do an interview with Jeff. He was older, he was like 48. Right. And he, he's in his fifties, but I'm 40. I'm gay or that. Yeah. Um, but he goes into about straight girls going to bars and I want to make it clear right now that straight girls are not the girls that we bring to the bar. It's the girls that go there on their own and they celebrate their action. No connection. They're like, let's just go to the gay bar and see what happens. Yeah. And it's like, oh, okay. I mean that's fine, I guess, but it's not because you're looking at us like we're a fucking novelty and we're part of your little bachelors size. It's a good good. Yeah, it's good. Yeah. So I guess my question for you, Jim, is what is community to you? Like, when did you realize you had a community? Do you feel like you have a community and it was deep? Wow. I mean I think probably the moment I realized was the first pride I went to like here in our town. Right. And I was probably like 21 or two and it just was all of a sudden you see everyone around you is happy to be who they are or seemingly happy. I mean they've got their flags, their shirts, they're holding hands. It's the first time I realized that there were, you know, gay parents out there cause I saw a couples with kids. I was like wow, what is going on? And so I think that was the moment I realized there was actually community out there and you would just strike up conversations with people and realize you have an instant connection. You've been through usually very similar events, very specific events that you remember that they remember in their life and you can talk about and it's like you share a language. So I think the first pride was when I realized there was a community and then you can go confirm it and you run into people at bars and you're like, Oh hey, I know you, I've met you before, I've Apollo, blah blah blah. Yeah, Duh. It's great. When did you first realize that there was a community out? Yeah, honestly I have, I struggled with the actual lake because you see on TV, you see in movies you've seen our gay people are always like, oh hi honey. And then I say honey on here, like I don't really say it often. I only do it on like here when I'm drunk, don't call me honey, don't call me honey batch. But like you, you hear all those stereotypes of how gay people are supposed to be or how they act. And so I felt like I wasn't that and I wasn't, but I was cause I was suppressing like my, Oh Jim just got hot honey. Yeah, it is hot once you start talking about suppression. So yeah, I suppress myself by not trying to meet people, whatever. So when I moved here though, I didn't have any friends. Right. So I didn't really know anybody in where we're at. Yeah. So I had to put myself out there. And so you see a defined a community? Correct. It didn't find, you know, and so I was like, okay so I was researching. I'm like, I guess I'm a bear. Like I didn't even know like terms really. Like I was that like, yeah it was bad. It was bad. Cause I didn't even have gay friends and actually I think of this and I'm going to say it, it's really awful. Okay. In high school there was a kid who was gay. He's gay now. I've talked to him since, but he invited me to the lake and I said I can't go. Why you? Because I didn't want to go with the gay kid cause I thought I would be out in. Oh. So then it's like kind of ironic that then I'm alone here and I'm like, Oh wow, this poor guy was just trying to be a friend and have an ally and now I'm looking for the same shit. I don't know why that just came up. But anyway, I don't know. There is. Wow. So you have some guilt from that as you should. Yeah, I should. I feel guilty about that. So sorry Brett. I wonder if that's why people didn't hang out with me. St Right. I had zero male friends until Undergrad until right. And I think that really, so you don't know your sins. I didn't even realize it, but, right. So my community wasn't like I had my friends obviously growing up, but it wasn't the same because now that you know, like when you know what your community is like. So now when I went to the bear bar, I met these guys, they were like, hey, you should join the softball league, or hey you should. And I'm like, oh gates, play soccer, like gay, that kind of thing. I mean, seriously, that sounds dumb. But that's how it was for me. And I'm like, oh. And I meet guys that were like, you would like, they were just accepting and whoever you were, and it was like, oh, this is refreshing. So now that I understand what community is, I feel bad for my younger self for not, I mean, I didn't know that until I was 28 years old. What a real, I mean I have my friends like, don't get me wrong, my friends are amazing, supportive, awesome people. But when you know, when you meet somebody who has a sort of a similar story as you, you can act immediately. That's what I'm saying. It's just you're in the same language. Whereas like you might be with your straight friends and you, you talk in a different way. Yeah. You don't tell the same stories. You're not laughing over the same things. You don't watch drag race with them. Right. Some straight, some straight guys. Straight God. Oh, buds. Oh, the buds. Yeah. Learned about the buds. But, but yeah, it is different. You're right about, you are instantly like, okay, we can go into topics that no one else would go into with me. Right. Like it could be, I mean, yeah. I mean anywhere this interview, he starts talking about things. He's like, oh yeah, we know. Right. People are probably sitting in the car going, yeah, I do get the, so anyway, two things. I want you guys to do call about your coming out stories because we want, we want to get a good episode but also call about your community and tell us about what you, when you found your sense of community and, and who that is or whatever your story. Okay. Yeah. Um, so we did a street interview in a different way. Yes. This was like, oh boy. I think I had, I was a little problems for a week because of this and I don't, again, it's back to like, this is my baby and I've never really put, I always talk, I'm going to talk her like, Oh, I'm going to do this. I wanna do that. That I never really go through it. I'm going, I'm doing it now. Like this is me doing it. Um, so that's a lot on somebody I'm creating and I'm actually putting it out there and I'm putting myself out there fully. Like I have not held back. We know, we know honey here. Like, please hold back. Don't call me honey. Bitch don't call me honey bitch. I need to always say that every time I say, honey, did you just say that? I never say honey. I never, depending on what[inaudible] people are like taking a drink. Every time they hear you say honey and they're drunk, they should do that. We're 15 minutes in and they're blacked out. Or like he said, he doesn't ever say time. He ever says honey, but let's do the honey count. I didn't count. Oh God, that'd be a fun little game, honey count. But I don't remember what I was even saying Jim, cause you threw me off. What was I even saying? Oh I remember. So we did our streets. So we packed up a Uber with XL XXL, not in like a Honda civic. It was like a big car, suburban, suburban. We packed up our little canvas that says she's not doing so well. I'm sure if you follow us on Instagram you'd be able to see exactly what we're talking about. But we set up basically like a merge you would see at a concert with like a radio station. I used to work at a radio station, so I had like comments about, oh, I wondered how you knew what to do, like the table set up drink. And I said, honey, honey, honey. Um, so we set it up and I was actually kind of a wreck about it. Like I could tell, I was like, I felt I was very know how to calm you down because you couldn't, it's, there's certain anxieties that like you just carry on your own. And it was just scary because I was real okay. It's one thing to like talking to this microphone here, I'm getting used to it. So like I'm not as anxious, but it's another thing to sit there and have five people stand around you. Yeah. Like when those girls were standing around me, I'm like, Oh my God, I'm talking in front. But then I didn't even bother me. I just focused on who I was talking to and I'm like, this is a good practice. Like yeah, throw yourself out there. So we met a few good, like cool people. Unfortunately the audio really was kind of shitty on the first three. Yeah. And we're going to recap them. We'll can recap a little bit. So the first guy walked up and he was bringing, um, food to his significant significant other. So cute. I was like, oh, this guy's a delivery guy. And he's like, what's this? He ended up thinking that we were against pineapples. Yeah. Do you remember that? He said something about like somebody on Reddit was talking about how again, zebras or zebras don't exist or rafts, rafts don't exist. I'm not going to ask Tony's. I think pineapples exists where like, yeah, that's just a logo. Like we just like pineapple, but he was a really cool guy. Um, and then we met a homeless guy, which I don't know. I, you know, his story was very unique. I don't know how much of it was true or not. I mean honestly like it was a little out there. He started looking at famous people online and saying that they were all his sisters and it was an by the second one I was like, well, well Huh. Yeah. And I was trying to be as nice as possible cause obviously that takes a while. He was like, I've never done this before. I never told him this. I'm embarrassed, I'm homeless. But I feel like also it was sort of, I don't know, like there was ended, he wanted something. He wanted us to open up the western union app and send money to somewhere. I didn't know they had an app. I didn't either. He's like, you just send up there. I'm like, we'll use, we're seeing, they're like we don't have cash, we don't have our wallets with her. Like I'm not sitting here with my cards in my pocket on the side, on the street corner of a street. We left those at home. So he kept kinda like hanging around which way it was, whatever. Like it was a good experience sort of like just to kind of be, I mean he was very interesting and my wise he had a good story but it was just, but we don't know if it's true. Right. So then the third group comes up and it's a group of girls and somehow she knows friends. She's friends with one of my partners, friends from med school and they like went all what? Yeah, I was so confused cause I was like, how do you know each other? They were like going on, oh my God was so-and-so. And bumped up on them like what is going in choir of a street and up on a, not even sure like 1989 area, the main area of like going out, it was these random girls and we're like, hi. And they're like, oh my God. Yeah, just like, it was very bizarre. I was like, okay, cool. So that was, I mean that was weird. And then Jerry walked up, God, Jerry's a gem. Jerry is somebody who I did not expect this. I didn't at all. I mean talk about all connected. He knows everybody here and he knows his history. He knows Pete. He Won New York start of it. I mean the stories are amazing. The stories are really cool. So I'm really excited for you guys to hear this. I'm, I'm hoping the audio is okay. It might be a little rough at times. Just give it, give it a chance. Um, he does talk about local stuff for a second, but it gets really good at the end. He talks about Madonna and all this shit. So, um, you guys, I hope you enjoy it and we'll discuss it after. Thank you

back with a vengeance. Are you ready for here? Are you wasting your debut grow? It's on for your debut. It's time for your debut running with your man in there drinking. Oh, those kinds of bitches. Huh? He's going to get[inaudible] bitches that with did it in the bathroom.

[inaudible]

was it lucky with that saying no, I'm just teasing. I would never say was like this. He was like my to my out there. Oh. And I was like, okay. Yeah. What the fuck are you eating? I know it's, it can people got sorry to stop alone. It's delicious. Yet to you buying knows it's like, no, you should love it. You love that. Cut that smell shit. Don't you know what the what this podcast is? I'm going to be on youtube. Okay, let's talk. What are you doing tonight? Let's, Oh, let's start over. What's your name? What's your name? Why are you here? Why are you here? What you doing? My name is Jerry and I'll give you my last name because I'm very popular.

Oh.

When I'm prepping or because I'm cute, but they[inaudible]. Anyway, you had earned that shit anyway. Yeah. Yeah. No one wants to be a side check. No. So, oh, okay. I don't mind if you stop here. Well, that's what you get on the east side. There's black folks around. There's some beautiful Danny. Yeah. Yes. We don't want no little bitty boy anyway. So tell us what you're doing out here. Well, I'm going home now because I've been drinking since like two or three. No Way. That's no, that's a long time. Last seven or eight we went to Nitas and the short north and had dinner. Okay. That's the difference when you get to her nature. Oh, I'm starting to get, I don't want to get out here late. No, no. How old are you? 35 you guys time you it's time to go to bed 32 yeah. Yeah. 2123 yeah. You just better be waking up to go to your desk because you know you're just gonna nap and get your makeup on and you're ready to go. Ready to go. Yeah. But twin ETA at your age as time and then it gets nothing but worse. Oh, I know. And it's, you know what? It's wonderful because there is something great about getting into the age where you're comfortable in your own skin that you don't need to follow fabulous because you are fabulous. So you don't need to worry about following it. That's probably true. I don't got to search it out. You don't got to go to the gay bar. Oh look at me. You're fine. Fabulous is not about geography, it's about you. That's the drop of wisdom right there. That's the name of the episode. That's 48 and me and Kirk were fabulous and our 20th were fabulous in our thirties honest with you, we both thought as you walked by[inaudible] so you come to the bar. This episode we're talking about like community and what it means to people. So when you can work a bar, why do you come to the bar? Like, Oh, I kinda wanna know like why do we, why do gay people still come to gay bars? Because it's a, it's, it's a comfortable place for you to be you. Yes. And even though you can be comfortable in a straight bar for me and curtain to go with in time when you couldn't bet, but we came and cause it, you couldn't be comfortable. You had to butcher it up and you had to not be yourself. Right? This is your respite, right? And you, and we as, and I want you to know that says gaze. I hope you have, are huge young, gay, copulation keep your respite because straight people want your life. Because when you go to a straight bar, it's a bunch of boring fucking sports on. And I love football as I want you to see what you got. They gave her that. The music gets pumped in. The girl's a cue and everybody's Boppin because we're about joy and gay men are worse because we don't even have security at gay bars because we are there. But having fun looking at Shit, look at this shit right here. They gotta right? Oh boy. Boys don't fight. No, they're not funny. But straight people are aggressive or aggressive. They have to have power over dumb down found joy. Yeah. Which the not joyful. Look at track. Yeah, we are gas honeys. Hey See, but that's gay man. You don't have to follow those bullshit rules that make them miserable. We can make our own rules and make your own role. So do you think it's still so for the 20 year old that's coming out of the closet now when they go to a gay bar, what do you think? Is it the same? Do you think so it's not, because when I was gay, Edwards be like three girls in the bar and they'll be like 3000 men in there right now. That's what you need. You guys have a left God miss away. But with this, this kind of fitting in with their straight people life, which is okay, but we didn't want to tell them with them. We're not going to fit in. When we didn't do that step. That's for who we are. Not what you think we should be. Would you please put us, you were talking about this, like what? What is your point of being my friend? Am I just like your novelty? I've known UCO. It's bridal parties. Yes. And I read them. Okay, we are there novelty. And I asked him and you know what? Every gay man in the world, and I hope you who was it should ask, have you ever been to a gay bar before then your ass should be here tonight. That's why I want to ask, because I've done a lot. Did you not go to a gay bar with out a gay man on your ass? I've been to a lot of gay bars where there's a bunch of, hey, this is your bridal party. This is your show. I don't care about your money. Right. Dominated. Like, you know, nick gay men have money came in with money. It's like, it's just like the air. It's like the air that you breathe. It's all around you. All around you. So no, no. And I, I've never been afraid of them and they never, you shouldn't be. I'm not, I knew you when you wait, I don't give up. You Not gonna kick me out this bar. It's thousands of dollars in your bar, right? I don't give a fuck about what you think. So you can have your little fucking boy parties on top of your roof. Topcon when you're strung out on crystal and crack and everything else, the game mafia run your life. I know that gave them all pa and I know as much as possible like good friends started HRC in this city. I'm thought[inaudible] do you feel like there is like an a list? Yes. Always have. There is always that always will be and always will be. But the thing about our elites gaze is that they want to pop out as well. That's the thing. It's like, it's very interesting in this sir. I'm sorry I'm being so real with you. I hope this one at that ripper. I came out, I came out of the city in 1989 I ask you when your ages 48 I'll be 49 I was going to say I want, I want your name and numbers. I want to know, but I'm not going to share it, but I'll definitely tell you I know everybody. Everybody from the start. So you were here before. Short, short, short note what the Red Light district was. That same leads had sex in the park. I could see this strippers and there was Havana when we were, when Rajit. I know the person mark bill oof unfortunately passed away two years ago, 10 15 years ago. Who gave Rajita idea to buy the first union yet? And I remember when they, when the union was a what's called a pizza kitchen place before, I remember when 700 when 700 of club was not level. It was the 700 club was the first techno bar in the city. I remember when there was no arena and there was no, there was no the jail with they before they could show you. But there was a gay parties had drag partners be it after I was born. I take of it that I'll find the name for you. God I have. You've been through it. I've been this since I grew up here. You were so young when all this was change. This was nothing. This was, yeah, this was gone. This was a good, my first college after I went to her house taking my first apartment was around town street and that's with like together when you had to watch out for crack heads and so on and so forth. Right. I had been here and I know them all. I'm so glad you sat down and talk to us cause I like your really to anybody that you know, chair, please hold for the technical difficulty. Thank you. I know them all. I know rod shades. I know Chris Course who owns the pipe house. I remember I was best friends with Mike when he, before he married and had five kids together. I know, hey bro, by just been rad girl by Admin when my reading red and red red zone, they don't. So what is one thing that you, you would say, oh, well how do you want to leave it right now? Like what do you, how do you want to wrap this up for your, your time here, sitting with a school, what do you, would you say to somebody younger who is uncomfortable with who they are or what, you know, you kind of went over it over yourself because it's you. Because if you don't love you, how it[inaudible] that's true. And I've known that. I know not to prejudice at travel and HIV there was, but for three years and being gay in this city, I lost 30 to 40 friends to HIV. I you think poses a show[inaudible] fucking reality.[inaudible] in the early nineties when you watch it. I was, let me tell you a fabulous story. Just tell you, tell us. I was in New York in 1993 at the gay pride March and the fe and I was at the rock safe, which was a stainy rink during the week in a dance club. During the weekend, Grace Jones performed topless. I was high on ex girl. I was hired as the x you to the last 12 hours. Not that old Molly shit that last like 25 minutes. I did one pill and I was high for 12 hours. And then me and my friend Steve and Kurt and they were, they told us to move net, move to the right, move to the right. And there was like a gay guy, gay guy, Madonna, gay guy, gay guy walked right by in the 90s when she was hot. Cause I was I, that was right. Like during this pressure pressure stuff day. I had been my friend, I had been to k probably marching in Washington in 92 which was the first national gay pride. March was a million people. At 93 I went to New York. I had been here when the gay pride march in Columbus was a march where we fucking, there was no water in the street and said, fuck you to Christians and screamed and hollered, so really we should thank you. I should die. Yeah, because you're not a founding father. That sounds so like, buddy. Well you are. You're a very, you've paved the way for to like me to be able to sit on this floor. We going to sit here and be gay and talk to people because of you. Thank you. Yeah, no, seriously. I don't care that you probably don't hear that, but we can. Our cry gets to be all that you take for granted. The fact that you had come out and just be you if you liked sports and I've decided to do that. That's, that was my biggest thing. When I became my cats. We fought my way, put eggs and do what they will. We will call out the bar at the garage at downtown and they would throw eggs out as we had people, dads, before I twisted the original club has had the top bar, but it's never going to be the same because it's not different era, but Columbus had the oddest gay bar in the country. Could we have Muslim country to come here? The reason that Columbus has fabulous man is not because it's straight people in a setting. Oh, 100% it because the people, it's because of Steven, my friend and other people who create this short north and created old town and created in German village. Wherever. Every neighborhood that you want to live, that person where you are in a, this is one of the most powerful gay communities in the country.[inaudible] to well it's because every gay guys with like no bed, that's teachable Columbus and you see our popular shares. You see what your cousin, you worker, not just because she has incredible talent. That's kind of shift now. This is one of the wealthiest gay communities ever hits. You don't know that because you're 20205203045 but you know it. But for the 40 in the 50s and sixties honey, this is the box. I hope I didn't take too much, but, and honestly I'm going to believe I'll probably names just because, please, please what I want to know I, okay, so you've seen it for this long. I don't know what you think about the changes that have been coming because I do feel when I go to certain bars, there's mostly straight people and it's like it's good and it's bad. It's bad. This area's been celebrated. Okay. Cause we don't have churches. We don't have school to define ourselves. We had the gay bars. Yeah, it's weird. It's a weird concept because we want to be equal. But I also know we want our own space. Let's go down space as I'm African American, gay men, African Americans. If you have, oh, before you can give to the rest of the world, straight people cross a fucking mind. I'm like, oh my God, this Trey people have these straight bitches. Okay, so tell us that fucking I not your editor came in for your buck and Bachelorette party. Take your fucking bitch ass to a straight bar against for club you as women need to take care of. It's about the ability for your staff when you're not doing it. Wow. And I have a lot of street. That's why you never have a way. It doesn't matter. You can be my ally, but you need to be realized that your mother fucking ass is draped, right. This is my bar with my gay friends to have your pool. If not, yes. Have Fun. Act and make it about you. We know there is no may not Bobby. We do not. We're not. No, we made it. We might make an incident, but they come in and groups which are out gay people to our bars interview. These are the best dude with the, I'm like you have the front porch with the Atlanta[inaudible]. These kids, they're young.[inaudible] you guys[inaudible] out here. Random lead. We're like, we can do. I've been to me too. So we've met having more than 30 years. And you dad. Oh God, I grew up here. Were talking about the 80s he was going on and on, but you talk about the sixties in the fifties no, I want to say I want that girl say you. You can never let to, you can never let her in. So I'll go. You always have to cut back at old queens. They'll eat you days before the riot. The shade, right on this corner. Shade Trans America. You gone see some more riots. You better be comfortable. Right. And that's a choice. Are you permission yet? That was probably that shirt.

Oh,

well this has been a great talk, honestly. We really appreciate you stopping by and sitting with us. Sorry, I'm drunk. I just let everything out. But yeah, it's a good one. All of it. We want to lose one and we want the real pure person. Yeah, but then that thing I will say it's Jay fidget good is Jay Brown. Yeah. Because what they're doing is not what they're doing. And they were not your entertainment. They're not. It's bad days. Straight man. To act like we did when we were young with the straight guys were inspected you. Yep. And when you said you were in towards it, they leave crazy young guys are not doing that and that's not acceptable. And that's because the women are not expected. Right? Yeah.[inaudible] natural. Those gaped out. I need you to get the puck out. Okay. And he's, Mike dropped us. Bye. Okay. So this episode has been pretty balanced and enlightening. Um, I can't even like, I don't know what to say after that. Like that was like, God, we just met a grandfather of the city. What are you, sorry. Great uncle. So what did you learn from this? I just learned, I just thought, yeah, that's what, that's what I've learned is that you have to build a community. It doesn't just come up on its own. And so he is someone who started out when there was no quote community quote like it was, he built it up with his friends, literally built it up, literally built it up. And now he's seen it change to a point where it's like, oh no. Oh No. And I think we've gone, we've got to a good place, but, oh no. Oh Man. People are like, wow. Wow. Anyways, but honestly what I want to say though, to the straight allies that are out there, cause he has, I mean he was, you know, I think what he was saying was a little bit harsh, but at the same time like just be real. Yeah. Just being real like, and so don't let that affect you. Um, like hearing him say like, Oh, straight girls to do that. Don't let him, we want you to come to the gay bars. But they respectful. Be Respectful. Yes. And if, if you come with us, that's fine, but don't come in there with your little bridal party and you know, anyways. Well,

all right, well that's the interview with Jared. I really hope you guys enjoyed it cause I think it was really good. It was very informative. And I do, I did mansplain at the end. I'm like, girls, you can still come to the bar. We welcome all bridal parties. I don't want to say we don't welcome to people, but just be respectful with where you're at. Yeah, it's really the end of the day. That's what it is. Just don't go in there and be like, oh my God, this gay guy over here, man, man, man. Or like, look at this drag queen. Like it's fun and games for you. It can be fun for us, but just be respectful of our community. Would you, I mean, would you go into a sports bar and upside down twerk against the wall during NFL Sunday? I mean, yeah. Well, you know, I don't really twerk, but it, I just do my little. Yeah, I do my Joel a little. Yeah, you would probably do the, I would do full tour, but came you'd be like, look at that football. I guess that example was terrible then, but we wouldn't normally do that. We wouldn't do that. We wouldn't, we would respect your community. Plus we'd be scared. Like I'm gonna get rid of you. You'd be terrified. We would. Yeah. We're not, oh gosh. Got Bad to say. No, it's true. No, cause it would. Yeah. Um, but anyways, that was a great interview. Great episode. Let's, let's recap the things that we want. Okay. We want people to call in and share your stories, share you, we want to hear him. We want to hear when you discovered your community and how you really want to know your coming out story. Because I do want to make a coming out episode where we hear all different stories and if it's bad, if it's something that's sad, that's okay. We need to share it with others. Like we need to be able to share it with everybody because some people come out and they get kicked out of their fucking house. So that's awful. And I terrible. I have to, but I, I feel like that's something that as a community we can share with other community members and also people who are allies that listen to our show. Yeah. And or whoever. Okay. Okay. Well honey, honey, don't call me honey. Bitch drink. Sorry. Yeah, you guys are all blackout now cause I keep saying fucking honey. He said honey about 50 times honey booboo. Anyway, thank you for listening to another episode of She's not doing so well. I'm Bobby. I'm Jim. Bye Bye. I was like so bad. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Well, yeah,

it's good. It is. All right. Bye Bye. Thank you for listening to another episode of She's not doing so well. Leave a message with questions or comments at six(600) 920-7464 three don't forget to subscribe and check out our links in the podcast. Description of this episode. Views, information or opinions express during she's not doing so well. Podcast are solely those of the individuals involved in do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any other agency, organization, employer, or company. This has been a house of Breck production.