My Gay "Straight" Boyfriend

Bobby: 0:00

This program is not safe for work listener discretion is advised.

Heather Cousin: 0:04

I feel like I'm the bad girl.

Jim: 0:06

Here we go, folks. Strap in your good slap my

Cady: 0:10

soul.

Unknown: 0:10

There are no dumb questions. I have the holy ghost inside of me right now. Queen Don't be a drag queen. You'll pick a man.

Cady: 0:19

He's such a blunt rude

Jim: 0:21

thing. It's like a secret role that not a lot of people get to play.

Cady: 0:24

So are we done with my like gay lovers thing because I had another guy that I had questions for you about.

Jim: 0:29

We need to get you a new things you don't want to like touch me? No, not particularly because you have this

Bobby: 0:37

gig guys like

Heather Cousin: 0:39

there's a time and a place and that's not the time exactly.

Jim: 0:48

me up all night. Do you want to send that one? And I want to hear the corners better make Heather's chair. Now, ma'am. Now. Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of not Well, I'm Bobby. I'm Jim. And we're here with guests. Alright, so we are here. We're here. tatty kitty caddy corner Kitty Cat Cat Cat kitty cat kitty cat her. And my cousin Heather. This is shocking. It's shocking cuz she never comes up here every time. No, never. I'm like, can you please come up and play? She's like, when are you working? Because I'm going to come then. This bitch. I haven't seen you in forever. Like daggers

Heather Cousin: 1:26

Oh, I'm sorry, not the one that picks the weekends.

Unknown: 1:29

Right? It's like,

Heather Cousin: 1:31

can I talk to you about this? And I said they pick every weekend that you're working on purpose?

Jim: 1:35

Yes, he's going out of town next week. Right? Right. So some of us are busy. Sorry. We have lives. I know. Not all of us do. I'm looking at you babe. Looking at you, kiddo. We were downstairs talking about little Cox. We were going right into why? He just really name a family. Yeah. It's definitely a

Cady: 1:57

family tree got spoiled at a young age maybe but it's got to be

Jim: 2:01

you like bigger world at a young age. Oh, like, spanked around?

Cady: 2:09

Like that. I'm just, let's say

Jim: 2:10

you were spoiled with a small caulk.

Cady: 2:12

Oh, like from the beginning. So hi, gay.

Jim: 2:17

Okay. And honestly, and honestly, my first was not big. So you like average because I'm talking about myself. But no, also the first that I had. The first COC that I took when you first took a COC tell us about it. It was no, there was a vapor dust

Heather Cousin: 2:34

coming down. Where's the ceiling?

Jim: 2:35

Beanie Baby debate? So wait. So everybody? How old are you? I'm not sure the cousins need to hear this.

Heather Cousin: 2:42

Sorry. We're like 25% cousin.

Jim: 2:45

Well, you're from the south. So you might be more. I'm not sure. Do you know that? From Ohio? Oh, really? Both of you? Yeah. My mom's from Cleveland. You have that? Look? What a southern look. He's got a southern look. It's it's a butter. It's the butter Moto and all Moto and all butterball? That's about our app. It's the way you talk to me like polity and talk to our servers at a party now. Um, can we talk about this? This fucking bitch? Which one? I'm sitting in a room with three. Oh, yeah. Hello? Maybe what is a muse?

Unknown: 3:19

I mean, I was Josh safdies Muse when he wrote uncut John Rice. Do you know what I mean? Like things like that. Like I think people make it seem a little odd.

Jim: 3:27

So everyone in the charms? Who is this girl for movies? I know who that girl? She was a muse for untuck Tom's I did not. She though I was dating big fake lips. I don't mean easy or what is his name? Cheesy. J No. Kanye. God yet. Jesus. Jesus. He Yeah, he's changed his name.

Unknown: 3:53

She's like, she's just getting I just gotta get is it P Diddy Puff Daddy. P

Bobby: 3:57

we're it's really hot. There's so many hot people in here. Oh, fuck, Bobby. I've got some fat titties.

Jim: 4:04

Oh, fan. me daddy. Oh, god.

Heather Cousin: 4:07

You're taking fucking selfies right

Cady: 4:09

now. Real studio

Jim: 4:12

real? It's real. And I just added that sign. Don't make fun of Bobby's life. It's

Cady: 4:16

real. That is so I have a fan like this. And I looked at it when I was packing. I'm like, I'm not bringing oh, you should have are you

Jim: 4:21

guys from Pataskala. Alright, now for those who don't live in Ohio. Tesla's in the middle of nowhere. Okay, right. I think I have an accent to you said accent and he said hey, I have no I have New Jersey. Are you from Cleveland? Bro? Yeah, like your whole life?

Heather Cousin: 4:39

Yep, sound basically excellent.

Bobby: 4:40

They have the same thing.

Heather Cousin: 4:42

It's a Cleveland.

Jim: 4:43

Oh, is that Cleveland? Yeah. I don't know my state. That's why I'm like, I'm from Dayton. No, I'm from Columbus. Oh, I don't hear any difference from Tom's

Heather Cousin: 4:53

he always says you see man man when I went

Cady: 4:56

to California they all California like the biggest accent like You might get my aunt Nancy and they're like Aunt Nancy and Nancy. I don't care. And then they'd say it and I'm like, you're saying it exactly the same as I'm saying. No, I'm sorry about my love. Not yet. Wait, people think I'm

Jim: 5:14

a walker Walker. No, you're not fanning us. So I got us now. I mean, can somebody get up and get the goddamn fan? It almost feels like man, it's not gonna be any of the three of us in this corner now, because you're smaller than all of us in here. So you I'm not your cousin has lost a lot of weight and

Heather Cousin: 5:33

you got here. Yeah, actually, I can't see bad things because last time I was the one that was on the podcast. We got a bad review.

Jim: 5:41

We did we did.

Heather Cousin: 5:44

Remember, he's like I was listening to every episode until that girl.

Jim: 5:47

Yes, no, that was one that was like mad. I'm more nervous. You don't be nervous. You're fine. You're deaf without going to get the iMac. So there's some things I'm going to talk about. Okay. I have a few things you okay. Do you want some? Novosel? What is called Napa still new vigil new vigil? I do not have a yeast infection, but thank you. So last week, we went to a lesbian bar a new one called

Bobby: 6:14

hammers. Slammers. That's what I told you hammers. Hammer sounds better it also be a lesbian bar honestly. hammers and nails and would you Hall anyway, I don't worry when rumors and I go to the bathroom realize I was a lesbian bar. Yeah, if lesbian or why? I don't know. It was daddy's and now that it's more it's right. Okay. So we go inside and there's a gender neutral bathroom like cool. Okay, so I go in, I think I'm thinking like, I can lock the door is what I was thinking. Okay, so I go to the urinal, there's no lock, first of all, so I was like, Okay, I'm just gonna fucking pee. You know what I mean? So I started peeing in the journal and lo and behold, a woman walks in. And she goes, Oh, my God, I'm sorry. I don't know. No, like, it doesn't lock I think actually, like we're supposed to pee together. So I share a divider between the toilet Yeah, so she Oh, she goes, I'm older. So what'd she said she was a little bit older. So I might pass gas and I was like, the most? It was it was cool, though. I peed with a girl. But did she know

Heather Cousin: 7:16

first of all, I thought she was like gonna squat and you're gonna be Yeah,

Unknown: 7:19

sorry. Oh, no, it wasn't. That's what I'm in.

Jim: 7:21

So envision a bathroom that has one urinal and one stall. I try not to envision bathrooms. But thank you why? It's disgusting. I'm surprised because that's where a lot of fucking trade goes into. And you're really into that kind of shit. There's a button.

Bobby: 7:37

She's like, why?

Jim: 7:40

We're trying to train you. I wanted to tell that from last week. That was like a farting and European urine what it was like, we were like, kind of like small chatting while she's dripping in. No, but I was like, this way. So we're like a pee shy as it is. That you can't be in front of people. No. Well, you peed in front of a lesbian. A lesbian older lady. Maybe if there's no dick. You're not afraid of team? Probably? That person. It was like it was very just like nowaday. Do they pee out of the clip? No, because the clip is like the penis.

Cady: 8:07

Now there's a P haul. Separate

Jim: 8:09

but is that in below the clip? The hood? Is it also under the hood? But where is this? Like?

Cady: 8:18

Right under it? Like, like below

Jim: 8:21

the pee hole in the vagina or is it coming out of the vagina or Okay, here is it on the top of the vagina?

Cady: 8:25

Like the clit is like North Okay, and then you go straight down right click with the hood over it in the hood.

Jim: 8:35

Right under it?

Cady: 8:36

Yeah, like here and then go down a little bit pee hole. So do your regrow or Vachel

Jim: 8:41

Now what if a woman was spread eagle in front of me? Would I be able to see the pee hole? Or is it hidden? Is that why it's three is everywhere? You guys have it sprays everywhere. I've heard you guys spray everywhere. Oh, something? Feel like when I hear it's very like Ariel.

Heather Cousin: 9:00

It's hitting the water. You guys just hit straight and I think it's more

Jim: 9:03

like we hit the toilet seat.

Cady: 9:04

It's like a tingle. No, we

Jim: 9:05

don't when we close.

Heather Cousin: 9:07

Okay, yeah, we hit the water and that's probably what you're hearing

Jim: 9:09

why the pee hole hidden it. Where is it?

Heather Cousin: 9:12

It's a great question for our Creator.

Jim: 9:14

Yeah, Peter. God, why did you hide Lord were the people under the hood. Hey,

Cady: 9:19

so you need to draw. Do you have a whiteboard right here.

Jim: 9:23

Everybody should draw pussy. Let's do that. I want to draw ours first. Without their Stop, stop. We got to draw it. We're gonna give me a piece of paper and also, if your head disappears under the table, I know your check. So I know cheating. Looks like this. Oh, Heather just looked

Heather Cousin: 9:42

like a fortune cookie. But there's like this

Cady: 9:44

weird thing here. No, that is not what the hood looks like. Oh, my.

Jim: 9:48

This is a policy that pubic hair is asleep. This looks like

Heather Cousin: 9:53

is that the button? You're not allowed to look at? So wow,

Bobby: 9:56

he signed my name and then That's a policy that's like a martini glass

Heather Cousin: 10:04

under a sunset

Bobby: 10:06

Okay now here's this now you go ahead and draw a policy

Heather Cousin: 10:09

that this is like

Cady: 10:10

our other remember when we work because we were talking about like the spot where you have to shave and you're like you did

Jim: 10:18

not to have to shave near the hood

Heather Cousin: 10:19

I don't shave down there. Oh,

Cady: 10:21

I mean there's no hair in that.

Heather Cousin: 10:23

She's Italian area I'm blonde and not

Jim: 10:26

this is gonna be good I can. What the fuck is that? This is

Heather Cousin: 10:31

like fireworks scariest.

Bobby: 10:33

What's the thing at the bottom? This is

Heather Cousin: 10:35

your drawing a fucking fingernails.

Jim: 10:37

That is the clit and then it looks like a monster. This must be the pee.

Heather Cousin: 10:43

Okay, that actually as a female and

Jim: 10:47

then this is like the little pussy hole so the dickhole sign up please. I'm gonna take a picture. What's the thing at the bottom? All right. Poop blog coming out of the butthole oh that star a hole that's the products que que buts No, I I imagine a lot of hemorrhoids because there's a lot of bearing down I picture a lot of men probably don't know that women have hair and they're assholes. They do and it's and that's what they like everyone should get laser which I my asshole is have you ever heard of a Brazilian women invented it? In Brazil? Because they have a lot of hair down there. Interesting. I don't either. Well, I have my laser but I didn't have a law I'm blinded to listen here honey. I heard from your laser so no ask Michael What are you trying? Oh, wow. Oh, this looks like a Pokemon. A little stick? Gotta catch them all. Now my pussy looks like a fucking okay, this might be accurate. Yours is a drink. Not surprised. Weird. It looks just like

Unknown: 11:55

okay. This is like, sign it sign it sign it.

Heather Cousin: 12:00

It looks like a lava lamp.

Jim: 12:01

Oh my god. Oh my god. That's good. That's like, anatomically correct? Is that the asshole? Where's the Peixoto?

Cady: 12:09

Okay, so this is the clit with the hood. That's the little piece below and then that's the whole like, you know, whatever. And then what

Jim: 12:19

else? Whatever. That's the husband stitch

Bobby: 12:24

titties. I like don't forget now Heather.

Jim: 12:27

The teen This is the don't forget the cottage cheese right here in here. Don't forget some of the ingrown hairs that are in your asshole. Yeah, we're all disgusting.

Heather Cousin: 12:35

Why is there bumps everywhere?

Jim: 12:36

Why does it now look like a giant

Bobby: 12:39

heat rash? It's the summer honey

Cady: 12:41

it's it's five o'clock shadow.

Jim: 12:43

It's Oh. I had a Brazilian two months ago. Five o'clock shadow it's a gender neutral. When you're done drawing your pussy we're gonna have the folks vote this week on the best pussy Okay, I gotta get John's except now you can't look at no look at your own eye. Check your own well so question it's not by the way check your own but it's not ugly as pussy wins so don't check don't draw yours honey. Test family minds tight if your private look anything like mine sweetie. Yeah, this family is not now I have a question Do you care if it's cut or uncut

Cady: 13:20

I've never had we had a co worker Oh yeah. Oh wow. And he went got it done you know as

Jim: 13:28

an adult circumstantial see? And the thing is, is that that happens a lot guys I mean, I know

Cady: 13:33

because I don't know anything about it but it's hard you know it's draw penises like if you okay so like if you pull the force and write all the way down I honestly don't

Jim: 13:43

know

Heather Cousin: 13:45

like too worried about fungal infection like get rid of the head like

Jim: 13:49

sometimes no sometimes are completely hard and the head is still buried and like that it just leaks out it just leaks out for uncut gems out there and John are uncut gems out there. We love you. I'm an uncut jam.

Cady: 14:03

Oh, is that what that MAC? I don't even

Jim: 14:05

know what it meant? jobs but all the gays like it's it's a movie with Adam Sandler in it. Uncut gems? Yeah, it's like a real movie. Oh, it's really good. It's whatever Hoover they're talking about. I have no idea. I would love that either. Are you done with your vagina? Look at the add that is plus he doesn't quit you just cheat

Cady: 14:22

and Google vagina. Picture. She Googled Why wasn't

Heather Cousin: 14:26

I was on Instagram. Okay, so

Jim: 14:27

can you show me your pictures? Okay, well, we'll give you an extra she gets test anxiety. Is that a family thing or what?

Heather Cousin: 14:37

I'm dyslexic with ADHD so as you can

Jim: 14:39

see backwards a lot of fancy words for stupid but I have

Bobby: 14:50

I'm okay. Now that I'm on

Heather Cousin: 14:52

your cell and I take Xeljanz Oh,

Jim: 14:55

for your psoriasis for your plaque psoriasis.

Heather Cousin: 14:57

What's my brain?

Jim: 14:59

Oh my god. I had a mentally ill you are

Heather Cousin: 15:02

unfair. Katie told me I had Asperger's.

Cady: 15:06

I believe she's such a blunt, rude, bitch. And I'm like, I was watching a show in the kid.

Jim: 15:11

Honestly, I think she definitely. So I don't think it's a bad thing like that you get like disability pay, but then I love and I love that. So I'm trying to do with narcolepsy or shift to work I do work.

Heather Cousin: 15:21

Actually just quit my second job. Yeah.

Jim: 15:25

So you said you work but you quit.

Heather Cousin: 15:27

So do you work or Oh, Katie doesn't work.

Jim: 15:31

So your support you have to have two jobs for Katie Catherine full time. She has to John girl. Got it. I wanted to go over a little story I read this week about baptism gone wrong. I heard about not just one but hundreds for like 40 years. So a priest was like drowning and not using the correct words at the baptism he was saying like we baptize you instead of I baptize you whose will all of these baptisms were invalid. And the church said like the sorry, weren't baptized.

Heather Cousin: 16:05

So am I one.

Jim: 16:06

So you know, there were like, somewhere we'd like Iowa or something stupid or trashy, somewhere. After you baptized the name of the Father, the Son of the Holy Ghost, and this body, obviously, I'm baptized. Clearly the way that my skin is. I'm baptized in that water. I have the holy ghost inside of me right now. What is the Holy Ghost feel like? Oh my god. Oh, God. Oh, Holy, Holy, Holy, Holy, Holy, my God Almighty. Heaven and earth, full of your glory. Oh, what do you feel about this whole baptism thing? Like are you This is once again, go back to drawing my vagina. Yeah, please remember what we were talking about, like exploring outer space. And all these theologians came to NASA. And they were like, Yeah, we have to see if there's a God or if there's an alien Jesus that saves the aliens on other planets. And it was like, how are we going to figure that out? Like this makes sense to either it's like, so he said, We instead of I and all these kids aren't baptized. Like, why is that important? I don't know. at all because Okay, so in Catholic Are you Catholic? It

Cady: 17:10

used to be

Bobby: 17:13

for everyone here as well.

Cady: 17:14

I mean, I went to Catholic school, like

Jim: 17:17

so did actually went first through.

Cady: 17:22

So it's just it's so many man made roles, like Yeah, but I think like, well, you know, like, I grew up being told that I could succeed or forgiveness no matter where, oh, yeah, you could be a murderer and talk to the priest and say, prayers and it's like, no,

Heather Cousin: 17:36

I'm good at this whole

Jim: 17:38

like the new Bobby's really good at sinning, but he's not good at repenting. Now. You have to go in there and say, oh my god, I'm hardly sorry for having offended the test all my sins. I'm not even that good. My mommy said like, made me practice it was I would go in that little booth and suck off the priest. Did you ever want to fuck your priest? Yeah, would you? Did I ever or do you want to?

Heather Cousin: 17:58

Why can't priests get married?

Jim: 18:00

Honestly, cuz why can't they have gay sex? Like, why can't they do any? Because then they would stop molesting kids, right? Like, can we just let them let them fuck? If they would just it's because Jesus was never married. So he was married to like, 12. Right? But not like actually married. Jesus was queer. And he's this was gay. Maybe queer? We gotta talk. Together. How's it going over there? Cuz I feel like you're really strong. It's like literally, this is literally like these yeses, the like, she can't do

Cady: 18:31

this on a canoe. She

Jim: 18:33

just she's down a river. She's up a creek with no paddle. Is that the word? There's a movie called up shit creek without a paddle I think oh, no, not a

Bobby: 18:43

pedal. Pedal. Yeah,

Jim: 18:46

whoa, girl. Yeah, you said piano so people who didn't get baptized and they they did the next sacrament, which is like, literally illegal like a he then went to confirmation and maybe even got confirmation

Cady: 18:59

name. Patrick, Peter.

Jim: 19:02

Translator. I chose Peter because he's the rock of the church. He was the first what's your

Cady: 19:07

sign was and the first pope. I was late, and I didn't have a name picked out. I knew and was a saint. And I was married. Leanne,

Jim: 19:16

I don't remember what's funny, I did Patrick. Monsignor at our church, his name is Patrick, you know, but I was like a secret crush. I'm like a dad crush. Like he could like hold me and hug me. Oh.

Unknown: 19:31

That's kind of you just

Heather Cousin: 19:32

self increment minds Francis. And if you use my ANSYS is that a man's name? Are you coming to grandpa's name? But I didn't think through my middle names. And so if you've read a pram or aviate Frank Francis, it's Anne Frank. My My middle name is Anne Frank. My middle names and my confirmation name is Fran.

Jim: 19:53

Heather and Frank and Leanne. I was not ready for lanfranc I love Anne Frank. I'm glad she came up. You look Helen Keller and Helen Keller both,

Heather Cousin: 20:02

um, you like, conspiracy theory. I'm not for it.

Jim: 20:05

We weren't even at the moon. I have a story, mainly to call Bobby out on something. I think I think you both could chime in because, oh, I don't like that. Well, okay. All right. So you ever have a friend where you're like sharing a story, and you're talking about how you are annoyed by other people or annoyed by something? And mainly you're annoyed by questions that people are asking you, okay, and you're like telling like, she's like, gooeys? Or you're like, you're telling them you're like you're telling your friend you're like, Yeah, I got so many of these questions. I just can't believe there's so many dumb questions. And then your friend goes beer. There are no dumb questions. Now, that's what Bobby, I'm telling. I'm telling how I had to deal with all these dumb fucking questions. And Bobby's going. There are no dumb questions. There are no dumb questions. What type of friend? Instead of letting you vent goes, there are no dumb questions. Can you tell us Bobby because I was telling you all these dumb questions I was getting from idiots at the bar. And you're going there are no dumb question. Do you know what I mean? Like things like that. Girls. Do we have dumb questions? Okay, thank you. I

Cady: 21:17

sense okay. So

Jim: 21:18

what did you mean when you said there are no dumb questions? He's really fucking coming for me. Yeah, what are two? No, here's, that's, that is where the key is. Now, the subject matter is something that is very, not traditional in America. And so if you're going to educate people about your lifestyle, then you need to take it's not my job to educate. I don't have a PhD, honey. She was going to you were doing that with your, all your eyes, your eyes on the prize. Feel like, okay, with the subject matter, is something that's important that you should let the dumb questions come in. But there are no dumb questions. So right, there's not so we like to these dumb questions. Yeah, there are dumb questions, but you should answer those dumb questions because they're not dumb when it's a new subject matter in a different type of style. I just feel like we've all had those teachers who are like, there are no dumb questions when clearly there are kids that are asking dumb fucking questions. Dumb fucking questions exists. And she's still drawing a canoe. Yeah, so bitch.

Heather Cousin: 22:19

About that. Depends on the topic.

Jim: 22:21

I was pissed. Do you know what polyamorous is pissed? Yeah, so actually, I feel like I know. Do you have any questions? Yeah, yeah. They aren't dumb. Thank you.

Bobby: 22:32

I don't know the question. So I don't know the questions either. But I knew the subject matter. And you know what?

Heather Cousin: 22:38

And I feel like the way I word questions I like I'm sure on this topic.

Jim: 22:43

Or word, it's so dumb. Like, I want you to know, you're not gonna break up with your partner. I'm like, what type of question is like, no one would ask that to a normal to anyone else. But

Heather Cousin: 22:53

I'm actually wanting to learn because I don't.

Jim: 22:56

I'm saying how do you if you want to ask about structure other like, general questions, that's fine. But people coming on, right, and that are just insane. And I bet you would never ask that to another person who's monogamous. You would never be like, because I don't know when your partner's jealous of you. What? You get those questions I'm asking. I'm not asking you about that. Well, maybe that's

Heather Cousin: 23:17

your problem. You should maybe should

Jim: 23:19

be asking about. Wow, girl. Wow. Well, I believe No, but I can tell you're saying I understand what you're saying. For sure. I agree. There's so I'm just like at a bar and there's drunk people. And they're hammering me with the same questions over and over. And I'm like, I didn't know you were trying to like you weren't invited. And I have you're not invited into my life, bitch. So that's number one. Number two for me. Don't come at me with the idiot questions that you can google yourself. This is where I say do the work on yourself by yourself. This buttons getting over us today? Yeah, I cut it out what it is I had it honey, but I would just say like, there are general questions that you can google and you can get the answer. So don't ask you a basic.

Heather Cousin: 24:07

I agree. They're stupid questions, you know, are dumb question How many times did you play sports? Did you play basketball? Like, thought about why 30 years old? Why are you look like

Unknown: 24:18

you're sporty? Why

Heather Cousin: 24:20

did you play basketball? Like you probably got that all the time? Isn't it annoying? Do

Jim: 24:24

you play football? Cuz I'm thicker. You do look like play basketball. But do they care?

Heather Cousin: 24:31

There's no conversation that come with it right? We're not talking about sports. Like

Jim: 24:35

you look like someone with back pain. You're like yeah, yeah, why are we getting adult question? Oh, no, that was a high laugh. Sorry. Yeah. I just had a phobia in my head of like my own laughter I think it's the vat of cell or whatever I'm taking it is. Now

Heather Cousin: 24:50

what do you say just so far? Your posts a Swire you

Jim: 24:53

say? What you say it like that your cut job? Yep, Now, now, so I know I had to come for you, but I came maybe I was already. Okay. I'm sorry. And you know what I would I said, I said, you sounded like a third grade teacher. I know. And I said, Okay, I must say, Hey, you did say Cassatt. Okay. I don't care that anything. Well, I was a little bit. I just like, it upset me a little bit, cuz I feel like you should be educating people. Sorry. I know. But that's exhausting. It's exhausting to go places and be like, Oh, it's my job to educate everyone. When you're trying to Day Everyone gather around, I'm going to explain polyamory to you. Now, okay, and that's fine. And

Unknown: 25:37

I want to get drunk and

Heather Cousin: 25:39

there's a time and a place and that's not the time exactly like having like a small group. I just feel like if you're having like, I just

Unknown: 25:46

feel like there aren't any dumb questions.

Heather Cousin: 25:48

Let's hear one of your fan. Or one of your questions that you don't think.

Jim: 25:52

Tell us? Well, like you said, How do you know you're? How do you know your partner's not really getting secretly jealous of you? Communication? That's for any relationship though. Right? But like, but I'm just saying some people are dumb. So there are dumb question, right. Okay.

Heather Cousin: 26:10

What's not a dumb question? Besides when you just asked

Jim: 26:13

what that's I'm saying there are no dumb questions. Oh, I feel like we're in a loop and I've hit this pen a little bit too much and I like we need to move forward. I know you're trapped. Keep moving. I want to talk about something else mental health wise. Now. Now caddy is here. Now caddy you were talking about? It was kiddie mental. Mental health disasters kitty cat is here. She is here is here on queer is not queer. But she might she might have dated a queer oh wait why? So couples know whether you guys are given a few are they sleeping in the same bed though? I

Heather Cousin: 26:57

mean, if we do, you know, like my,

Bobby: 26:59

you can text but you can like pussy to lesbian? Like Like, would you ever like kiss a girl? She gave a great

Unknown: 27:10

taste of my chair.

Cady: 27:14

I could not I could never put the probably touch with like I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. I couldn't either honey. Like my own but I might let her do that. Fire like

Bobby: 27:25

would you let a right so I would I use like girls.

Cady: 27:30

That's the tough one. I don't know if I'd actually go through with that. But I mean, hey,

Jim: 27:33

I think everybody's allowed to experiment and like have thoughts about the opposite sex. I just don't know how girls me I just

Heather Cousin: 27:39

want to experiment on that.

Cady: 27:40

They say girls are all lesbians from the waist up like you know you have a soft lips and girls are cute. Yeah, get into that a little bit. But like it's it's scary. And it's a whole nother Yeah, it's

Jim: 27:51

a pussy. We have drawings here. And obviously they're not interpreted all the same. Although this deck is pretty though. You can sit on this one. Yeah, that's Honey. Honey. That's a big. That's like this day. They do.

Bobby: 28:07

Jim I think you had the best one. I might as well. Like this is what it is.

Heather Cousin: 28:11

Like a martini glass.

Bobby: 28:12

I know looks

Cady: 28:13

like the guy chip from Beauty and to be

Jim: 28:15

honest with you. This is our and this is gonna be Yeah, this is our this will be in the New York Museum of Art. Help. Send help. I'm not really a fan. We need to switch over the to the next. Here we go folks. Strap in. She has a full canoe on a tropical isle. I like I like that pussy.

Cady: 28:35

She's just trying to win the contest. So I

Jim: 28:37

need to talk to you about your your dating gay guys. How do you know now? I want to know how a woman dated a queer guy. Well, it's easy. Is it? Yes. Or no? But I could definitely dated girls. What?

Heather Cousin: 28:53

Okay, so my thing I feel like we're more easy to understand.

Cady: 28:58

I guess you just have to be prepared to die. Okay. Tell us how you mean I had this friend in high school. And actually when I first met him, I thought he was gay. Okay, but oh boy. We're starting off good know, the more I got to know him because he always just hung out with all the girls like he didn't have any guy. Oh, weird. He was you know, so I was always like, familiar. constantly hanging out with like, all my girlfriends, you know? And then I like grew to love him. He's like the best person ever. Right? Right. Well, we just became like, so close. You know what I mean? Like, I've like loved him. I still do to this day and like he's like the best guy. No, see hot. That's Yes. Not like my type. You know what I'm saying? But I don't know. It's like we started like he everyone would make fun of him for being gay too. Okay, all those girls would stick up for and be like, yeah, not gay. He loves JLo he loves.

Bobby: 29:52

He loves Britney. And Madonna.

Heather Cousin: 29:55

Rihanna and he loves the Golden Girls.

Cady: 29:58

That's what we thought we're lucky on that. You know, and then with Lisa Frank, I don't know we, we both told our mutual friend that we liked each other and he said, you know, should I kiss her whatever.

Jim: 30:10

I feel so sorry for him we kiss we all were there the kiss

Cady: 30:13

and then then like initiating and so the next step was like, seeing you know, come on, come on let's do this. Let's let her talk. So yeah, so whatever we start doing stuff and again like I think I told you guys before he would never touch my tits like ever like look Don't touch him nothing like and I thought it was so weird and I'm like he's the first guy that's never This was after high school by the way so

Heather Cousin: 30:37

this is an old school he's not touching my leg. No

Cady: 30:40

I knew him in high school and stuff so but um, yeah, and then okay,

Bobby: 30:44

but that guy's like 20s That's what what's the same as saying? Oh, if I were pretending, not pretending but even just like now if a girl was like, touch my titties, you would do it? No, I don't think so. You don't want to like touch a teddy? No, not particularly.

Jim: 31:00

Well, you have to be prepared to not even on the right sound word for that. I mean, but God damn. But God damn. And that's my family. And God, man. Now we know I need therapy. Oh, wow. So big a support, so he would never even touch you or your titties like I

Cady: 31:19

would usually initiate it, but he wouldn't, you know, go with it. Like, I mean, looking back, it's like we would snuggle we would giggle we would rustle. We would like lay on each other's nails. Like that. It was just like, I don't know.

Heather Cousin: 31:32

Did you ever get a big boss? I'm

Cady: 31:33

like hanging out with like, yeah,

Bobby: 31:35

he probably got hard cuz I got hard with girls, but I was like, it's like, You're so young. Yeah, it's cuz you're young and like, like, like any sexual like, anytime there's emulator kids like showing. I feel like you're just getting hard. On a team. That's different. Yeah. 18 year old young guy hits different when you're young. That's probably like 19 Yeah. Wow. Did he stick his penis in your vagina? Yes. Oh, wait. Oh, wow. So how

Unknown: 31:59

did that happen?

Heather Cousin: 32:00

And he didn't touch it. But

Cady: 32:02

I'm really honestly, I can't really think but I really don't think he'd ever like finger me none of that. It was just like, we went out and like, fuck, well, the my red flag was that he couldn't he would like never get off and he would stop and jack off at the end. Like, and then I noticed this happened like a few different times. And I was like, I took it so personally, you know what I mean? Like what the fuck for so then we ended up breaking up because he went to school and I would ever, you know, just whatever. But then like a couple years later, he like comes out is gay. And I was just like heartbroken, right? First I got a complex like, do I look like a man? Do I come off like, Well, dude, like,

Heather Cousin: 32:36

we don't even told you looks like a drag queen.

Jim: 32:40

I know. You don't I don't think you do at all. You know, I already told you. I'm pretty never. They're not pretty. Watching this working. I

Cady: 32:49

had a friend. I had my hair light for a while and I dyed it back dark. And then when he saw me he's okay.

Unknown: 32:57

You know? How did he tell you?

Cady: 33:00

Well, my, our mutual friend told me you know, whatever. And she told him that, you know, she told me or whatever. So then when we had the conversation, you know, I was just like, I just don't understand. Like, why would we? You know, straight up and you want to hit this

Jim: 33:14

trip? You know what? It's like

Cady: 33:16

delta eight though. Oh, and he loves that. Do you dude,

Jim: 33:20

no, I don't mean oh, it's all the same to him. Well, it's up and down. Bobby. Don't turn it sideways.

Heather Cousin: 33:26

Those are all stupid questions.

Jim: 33:28

Oh, there she goes. There. Good morning. There it is, bitch. You didn't pop it. Oh Lord in there. She's back. She's back. Oh my fucking God. The here's the thing that bothers me is he had to jerk off because like nothing feels better than a dick in a hole. So like, if you have to jerk off after your dick is in a hole. Then you're not like in the hole. You're not like oh my god the way

Cady: 33:55

you're saying it is me. No.

Jim: 33:58

Oh, is you wait, is that why me? I have no thank you. No, it's not your your whole sexuality sex. Let's focus on that. It has nothing to do with you like, sweetie, you don't look like a drag queen. A dog a drag queen. You'll pick a man. It's really.

Bobby: 34:17

And you really can't take a person look like a man. No, you don't look like a man.

Heather Cousin: 34:21

You said you look like a man.

Bobby: 34:23

You don't look like a man

Jim: 34:30

fucking man. Back bitch. You don't look like a drag queen. You look like a man now. Holy shit. No, but I just want you to know.

Cady: 34:39

We were like, no. We know what he told me. And I thought it was like the sweetest thing is he said he falls. He's like, I fell in love with your personality. He's like, personalities. I was confused. And I loved like, and I still love you. And you know, he was awesome about it. But I mean, just obviously it wasn't the uniform. Yeah. And he had sex with the girl before. Me too. And that's why I was like, seems like no, you know, thinking he's definitely not. He's not welcome on my team either. All of our parents like would tell us like, he's gay. He's like, No, he's not. We all stuck up for him all the time. But and then, yeah, sick.

Jim: 35:17

That is sick. I just want to say the, for real, real talk. The gays are really good at lying not only to themselves, but other people, right? So they will hide themselves, they will hide themselves from themselves and more people. So you're like, Oh yeah, I'm straight. I like women. I like Octopussy and then I'm not gay. I'm not gay and you'll do anything to prove that you're not everybody knows that you fucked up

Unknown: 35:43

used me we used us we use

Cady: 35:46

listen to this so one time we had another friend who another guy got out of the but that was not out of the closet but he was like clear though. Like we all knew it. Me him and the other guy all went to the driving together and like down the road, like literally in my 30s like found out that those two like meet out in the back. Shit like while I was like getting snacks in the closet, but it was like me in the one dude word like Davey, like kind of starting to

Bobby: 36:13

be like we're gonna take it with us so you

Jim: 36:15

guys know the wheel. And I thought that my Nana was like I just thought of something else. What if you are that special person that gay men are comfortable around exactly and learn how to be themselves by hanging out with you and exploring things and then being like, Okay, you might have a very special role they're not gonna do with this.

Cady: 36:49

You guys are saying like, and it's disgusting. I don't want that like that. Oh, you know what I'm saying?

Jim: 36:58

Gay men feel safe. And so then they're like to try Okay,

Heather Cousin: 37:01

finger you're posting I don't like it. So no, they never

Jim: 37:03

finger.

Unknown: 37:04

Hi there. This is Steve V host of the OG podcast about gay sexuality tags podcast, aka talk about gay sex podcast. Each week, my co host and I break down all the hot gay sex topics and give our unedited viewpoints. But what keeps listeners coming back? It's sharing our personal sex positivity with special guests like porn stars Bruce Beckham. D'Angelo Jackson, or this hottie Dante cold. I'm a very open person. I'm an open book. I do what I do and proud of doing it kind of a thing. We keep it informative with the good doc himself. Dr. Goldstein, I'm not a gastroenterologist I unfortunately. Don't do colonoscopies, so I can't go all the way up your ass though. I have seen your tyshee many times with two podcasts a week. We're better than a one night stand it's tags podcast, aka talk about gay sex podcast the next best thing to actually having sex subscribe and listen wherever you get your podcasts.

Bobby: 38:05

Today I did finger a pussy. What? Yes, I've had my finger in plenty of pus. Did you like it? No, I thought it was the weirdest thing ever. And I felt like I know I read like in the books or like on the internet, they'll be like cred and Heather. What's that? I would like put my fingers in and like pull it up. I don't know. I wasn't looking for it. I don't even know I've seen your drawing you don't know where the clinic you don't know where the Clinic says you're robbing the role. I'm robbing the whole right and like, why you cookies for everyone

Jim: 38:37

else? No, yeah, but

Cady: 38:39

these two out there you go this that. Oh, it's

Jim: 38:43

like oh, are you gonna try it somebody get in here that I can look at. And it's yours and it's my pussy stick I'm sorry. That's so bad a Bobby's pussy would love my fucking pussy. I don't think anybody would I wonder why you're up here alone. Well, you guys made me feel better about that. But no, you absolutely can I take it something special actually. I think it's like a secret role that not a lot of people get to play.

Cady: 39:13

Well that's sweet because there's like it is like more than like that's happened.

Jim: 39:17

I know other people like you though. And it's something special because right because I have my say friends that I did i Yeah, yeah, I'm not gonna name names but Shana, my friend, Emily. Yeah. See was my best friend. Oh, yeah. Go like we don't need to hear it. Tell it again, though. No, I'm not telling my story. So if that's a shocker, why can gaming never cause it's you're not depression. You're not meant to be in that position. You know what I mean? That just

Cady: 39:50

so right. This was my red flag. That's your

Jim: 39:53

red? Yeah. Again, I really like the spin you put on it because spin it's like real. It's real. There's a reason then that there is a reason why it didn't happen just once, but it was like, okay, like it's okay to be around a new that if you found out that you'll be supported, you wouldn't hate them that you wouldn't really hate that difference, because other people would out them and

Unknown: 40:12

be like, this fucking fat is fat. He's gay. And I was

Jim: 40:15

like, Okay, you were like, well, this is weird, but I feel like

Cady: 40:19

there was another thing that we all thought that he had this like secret life at one point where like, he go, he did you know, and we find out doctors car and we like went through his trunk and his car and stuff like that. It was like in his driveway. But it was like, decorate like it was decorated and stuff. And we're like he has like other friends. And it was like, I don't know if they did it for his birthday or what it was. But we we figured out that he was in gymnastics.

Unknown: 40:44

Oh, no. Oh, no. And then he came

Cady: 40:47

out to me about the gymnastics. Oh, geez. Nobody knew about the gym.

Jim: 40:52

He's like, I'm quitting

Cady: 40:55

destruction. So we in her noticed we figured it out. But we never said anything to him about it. Well, then when I was like dating him, I was at his house. And I was looking through this drawer and there was a picture of him and his gymnastic, like, leotard. Yeah. And so he like told me like about it. And we're like, That's your secret life. Like oh my god. So then it was like all of it just kept like adding up and I'm just like, wait a man. It's

Jim: 41:16

just like you like tight, elastic clothes. And you're like other man, we

Cady: 41:21

would be at like a playground. Or double back handspring off the swing or something. Or like, I'd be like, Oh, my God.

Jim: 41:29

But like, also, I just feel so sad. I just told Bobby No, so sad. Scrolling through. What are you doing? Trying to find this? Remember this? Remember this? You were? So are you still friends with your gay boyfriend?

Cady: 41:40

Yeah, actually, and we get your best life. He has a boyfriend. He's on the different countries. Like,

Jim: 41:48

tell him about the podcast

Cady: 41:49

now. I'm even nervous. Like what if he hears me like,

Jim: 41:53

no, no, I want to ruin his happiness. Let's find him. Now we are getting popular. Do you have other topics that you'd like to discuss? On your Little Mac? I did write down something that I think I just have questions about Jerry. We're gonna fucking call me back out.

Heather Cousin: 42:08

Was that a dumb question?

Unknown: 42:10

There are no dumb questions.

Jim: 42:13

You know what?

Heather Cousin: 42:15

Here's your insulin.

Cady: 42:16

So are we done with my like gay lover saying because I had another guy that I had questions for you about?

Bobby: 42:21

Okay. Okay. gay lover, but now actually a fan.

Jim: 42:27

Yeah, so tell us what are your quite like, ask the Gay Guy. Your advice. They don't want it. Oh, I think it's like broke my back. Okay.

Cady: 42:36

Okay, so really quick. So the other guy this was like, a year ago maybe so this is like an older guy who's clearly should have had time to like figure shit out but now I

Jim: 42:45

guess but when you say older, like 3737 Got it? Tender boy.

Cady: 42:52

Okay, so

Jim: 42:52

tender or tender. Tender. Thai chicken tender. I know you're hungry. But honey. I'm about to eat the app the app isn't it tender corn bread? Corn, Brandon Mac and Cheyenne butter balls. Golden Horse puppy. Oh, fuck, bitch. I mean Goddamn. Too many puffs. Okay, whoa, he's on Tinder. Okay.

Cady: 43:16

So we talked for a while. He's great. He's great. He's great. Whatever. And then we're at his house. We're watching football. Okay. And he has like issues. Okay, well, prior to that we went to the store he wanted fishies Okay, so he's gay.

Bobby: 43:34

He said fishy, quote, unquote.

Cady: 43:38

When we were with me, he was talking me real normally was smooth. He was cool. He was you know, he was a great guy. And then like the lady, you know, came up to me and I'm just like, you know, totally changed like, Oh, weird, right? So we still go back we watch football. We're on the couch, blah blah, blah. Well, I was talking a big game like I was gonna fuck I'm in all this is all about it, right texting. Then when it came down to it, I was like, like, are you gonna be mad if like, I don't end up like fucking you today, whatever, cuz I got weird about it. For whatever reason. He was like, no, no, no. Somehow I end up sucking his dick right. Okay, so as soon as like,

Bobby: 44:17

a man in a girl's body.

Heather Cousin: 44:21

Like a drag, but you look like

Jim: 44:23

I'm not gonna have sex with him. I'm just gonna suck their day. Honestly. Man, it's like every time

Heather Cousin: 44:30

she's lesbian.

Cady: 44:31

Okay, cuz I like to suck dick. It makes me a lesbian. You're hiding

Heather Cousin: 44:35

something? Yeah, sorry.

Jim: 44:40

Okay, so you apologize for not fucking but then you socked?

Cady: 44:43

Yes. Then he's like, just pop straight up. Like he gets up and he's Let's go downstairs and you know, playing with the fishes. And I'm like, I'm

Jim: 44:51

in the middle of you. Like,

Cady: 44:53

yeah, he came in as soon as whatever stands up, he says like Here's a bathroom blah blah blah prior to this me out so bad was that he told me he's very fascinated by how girls pee and he would like love to see me pee sometimes so the first time I went to the bathroom over there I was like scared to like lock the door

Jim: 45:12

camera absolutely not you were you were

Cady: 45:18

which takes

Heather Cousin: 45:20

they were fishes with camo God so anyway so

Cady: 45:23

then I say something like because I'm still I don't know you know horny little slit right wanting to get my so yeah, you know you can return the favor and he's just like, well I wouldn't want to get you too excited or something and I'm like well what is

Heather Cousin: 45:34

this guy that wanted to know about the same like the scent of your body wash?

Unknown: 45:37

Yeah, what's going on? Oh, anyway,

Bobby: 45:41

he's like well, what do you want me to out?

Cady: 45:43

He's like, What do you mean? No, so I said I was like touch base something. I don't know. I kind of tried to keep it like not like beg for it or something on those posts. he like goes down my pants. I swear to God literally like beep beep takes this and he's like, okay, like let's go downstairs and like whatever And seriously, like ran away. Like all right, and then I felt like a sloth and I'm just like, like I'm gonna go play a game I'm gonna

Bobby: 46:05

go honey I made you know guys when they come though I will give him like I'm just gonna give a little don't try when guys come when they're done coming. It's over. So like even to give a hands on like, fuck, like even though four minutes before I was ready to get dick I wanted all the dicks on my face everybody's DICOM kind of true you calm and then you're like, okay, like Yeah, we're good like I'm gonna go play say shares like you're right so now his defense you should never let you should have made him fucking eat your pussy before you suck just dead stop putting blame her first and then we'll get through this mail. telling

Unknown: 46:44

me how dumb questions

Cady: 46:47

he also kept telling me how like he has a lot of gay friends and how his cousin's gay. But like he's gay. He's very religious and he's like in in the Bible like you're not supposed to talk to by a woman he doesn't I'm like is he trying to like use me as his like amuse? He's gay but he is like Are you gay? Straight kind

Jim: 47:10

of looks like that girl. Actually, she kind of does if she had

Bobby: 47:13

she put the lipstick on

Jim: 47:18

oh my god hold it up. Eating like to put like oh my god, we should

Bobby: 47:24

Yes, we should do a remake. I'll put a lot of

Jim: 47:28

ruin to the drag children want to Slammers.

Cady: 47:32

Great Heather with lesbian bars because she keeps she's gonna

Jim: 47:35

be a hey, I'm looking at Oh, Heather's gonna be ahead that they're both

Bobby: 47:38

gonna be ahead. She's gonna be more than I have no problem with Heather not problem. Props will be like, Hey, girls got my pussy. And it's like not even saying that but like just like talking to them. And they're like, This bitch is hot. Oh shit. And she's like, Oh, free pizza bitch. Yeah, you're gonna get a mask and you're like, I want to eat it all you're lesbian? You could be lipstick We also play some softball. You know what I'm saying? Like, let's say you definitely are more lipstick but you definitely can wipe that lipstick off and play like hardball hardball you could hardball them now now concern about this? Oh man. Just yeah.

Cady: 48:13

So is that what you mean by amuse? Like you're this

Jim: 48:17

newsed Yeah, like used or muse? What did you say? I think a muse is somebody who's used now No,

Unknown: 48:24

no, no.

Cady: 48:24

Like, I'm just like they're keeping me around. Like they're not gay. That's what I think. Very religious parents that want you to get married or the detail and have kids and still why you're gonna try to be with me but you're gonna kind of like you're able to come

Bobby: 48:41

out okay, so use is a person or personified force, who is the source of inspiration for a creative artist, and it's an unending source of a game is your game yours? Oh my God. You're the game news.

Heather Cousin: 48:54

I'm sorry. Okay.

Jim: 48:55

It's not a bad thing though. Honestly, Episode name. Yeah, it's your that are gay muse. Or there are no dumb question. Yeah, hi, gay. Question. Dumb Claire's. No,

Bobby: 49:05

there no, no, there you go.

Jim: 49:07

There are no dumb questions. I'm losing it so I need you to continue on our narrow now.

Bobby: 49:15

He's snorting we got to get him out of here. Get him into the hot tub. into the hospital. Jimmy no fucking hospital. So okay, in conclusion, though, I need to ask you a question. I know we're well you're getting no but seriously, I didn't know something really quick. Yes. Where are you meeting these people? Oh, oh, why? With you?

Jim: 49:36

Suck you suck you so? So what's wrong with my sucky sucky ducky?

Bobby: 49:41

So I'm my

Jim: 49:45

Tinder but what are you finding is PayPal I say from now on. From now on. You need to put yourself first henceforth Oh, wow. So you need to be nice as

Bobby: 49:59

well. Not from now on you need to make the first move or not. You got to learn to be changed. He's

Cady: 50:05

telling me this in the car. It's very hard for

Jim: 50:07

me this last week it doesn't work. Now I'm gonna say this right now.

Unknown: 50:10

He tells me this every week. He's like, You really need to stop chasing and let yourself be chased at work. I'm like, I was

Cady: 50:19

texting and caring. And I'm just like, hey, I'm on

Jim: 50:27

my phone right now all the time. Yeah, they're blowing up your phone, but you're not getting Dec

Heather Cousin: 50:31

Am I am she? And guess what, then I don't

Bobby: 50:34

know if you play hard. Okay, that's the question. No, that's that's the question. Okay. Because neighbor Jackie wanted to present this question from last week's episode. And he said, What's hotter? The 10 guys that are bought or not. Okay. So, from ladies perspective, since we are not lady as a man at the bar. There's a guy that's just one guy buying you drinks has been like, God, you're so pretty. Oh, he's gay. Well, some Okay, hold on her. So she's

Jim: 51:05

gay. We know now I see anything.

Bobby: 51:11

Now, now, so you have that guy. You have that guy, right? Okay. One guy, would you rather talk to a guy that would talk to you or a guy that's not paying attention to you?

Heather Cousin: 51:21

At the bar?

Jim: 51:23

What type of options are these? So there's

Unknown: 51:27

not even looking at you. He's over in the corner. There's jerking off. There's what do you want him? Or the guy that's nice and talking. That's like

Cady: 51:33

my toxic. Yes. Yes. The guy was looking at me.

Bobby: 51:37

Boy, right. You want the bad?

Heather Cousin: 51:40

Batteries. I feel like I'm the bad girl because yeah, I Oh, I'm I want them to chase

Bobby: 51:49

a girl.

Heather Cousin: 51:50

I want the guy that's talking to me, but I'm not gonna give him I'm a badass.

Cady: 51:53

I am such a Chaser.

Jim: 51:56

Chaser. Chaser. I

Cady: 51:57

want that guy. And I'm like, how am I gonna go talk to him? What should I say? And what's your first one?

Jim: 52:01

I'm gonna get sexually or whatever. And then I'm gonna talk you because that's the way

Cady: 52:06

you're gonna go to me. And then I'm gonna find out

Jim: 52:10

the attention. Oh my god. That was like, right there to just hear what she just said.

Heather Cousin: 52:16

Like, I'm too busy worrying about your salary. You're like,

Bobby: 52:21

oh, oh, no, I

Jim: 52:23

totally hear. I'm like, everything's great. But I'm really slurring. Blurry left and right.

Bobby: 52:28

I'm showing you. Yeah, I think we're on the same level. So it doesn't talk

Unknown: 52:40

to you, or do you talk? She's not talking to you. Like, what you get for the one he's talking to you? Or the one he won't even look at you. And Is he bad? Or is it good? Question. Is that a Democrat? answer's yes. And yeah, actually. Did you

Jim: 53:07

have anything to say? I have something else. Oh, remember when something bad's about to happen give me a beer. A beer my friend.

Heather Cousin: 53:18

Over here was Yeah, I do to

Jim: 53:21

answer her own questions like

Unknown: 53:26

Do you know what I mean? Like things like that.

Bobby: 53:31

She had her own co she she knows he knows she's a fat man over there. You don't look like you're a drag queen. You look like a man. Like God actually could be the title to like that's the title god. Oh, no. Drag You look like a drag guy. Now, ma'am,

Cady: 53:59

added to my complex. Thanks, right. No.

Bobby: 54:03

Jim said Jim said the best like

Heather Cousin: 54:11

you were saying Uncle Jim.

Jim: 54:13

Cracker remember him? Now that was the ticket to

Bobby: 54:22

China, the China.

Jim: 54:25

What's the song right now? Oh, yeah, cuz 10 Beijing Olympics are on and it's all ready. Oh, it's all wrecked. Oh, no.

Heather Cousin: 54:34

I'm Russians. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, we work with a girl that's from Ukraine. And I was gonna have her interpret what they were seeing on TV because

Bobby: 54:46

she said, she said she said What should I hate people who get the gold? I'm never fucking skating again. I hate everybody who has a gold medal. Yeah, she was like Hadik you see? Like, yeah, then she's a professional She's a chase. Me. Oh, so

Heather Cousin: 55:05

we learn out of today's episode she chases

Bobby: 55:08

she's Yeah, so you need to be she has to gaming in the room so she she is sucky. Here's how you do it. You don't ask for their deck the first day. You actually don't do shit because then he's like hey baby girl What do you

Cady: 55:25

like that's my plan going into it but then I'm like I know I could be fucking you like I'm gonna go home which I have never been a hole like this I'm divorced recently and

Jim: 55:38

I'm sorry we didn't go into that

Cady: 55:40

I've been like with my ex husband since I was 15 years old. Okay, Jesus 36 So I'm in my 20s right now married again.

Jim: 55:51

got divorced. I'm sorry. We're married for the past like 17 years how do we

Bobby: 55:59

break up? They were obviously

Heather Cousin: 56:01

the gay they were toxic from

Cady: 56:03

one the gay guy from high school and shit that was like we had like an eight month breakup the guy after he was after the divorce I went on Tinder and I've just been like How was your

Bobby: 56:13

first tender like no

Cady: 56:17

no fucking my first tender

Jim: 56:19

oh that's hot

Cady: 56:28

well we're not anything

Heather Cousin: 56:31

really doesn't have a job

Unknown: 56:39

he has a nine and a half inch coke cans.

Heather Cousin: 56:42

He's not a loser like he's a loser. He has he can fog

Unknown: 56:45

I don't I love

Cady: 56:48

just gonna come over and like me and like say he was like No, I

Heather Cousin: 56:57

don't know what you like.

Cady: 56:59

telling me he's gonna choke me and I'm like we love tears out of me. I'm tearing my man all terrier

Jim: 57:11

See, I thought he said Blissey I was like Do you have a Blissey Have you ever taken in your aihole

Cady: 57:16

Yeah no I've done it like finger if I'm wasted and you got to be fucking me really good and I got to be super fucking horny I am and I just want like more and more and more they give me a finger she likes like your balls could slap my asshole like stick anything in there right now you know I don't it

Jim: 57:46

hurts I know as for the pros listen Let me tell you

Cady: 57:51

different times slipped in right it

Jim: 57:55

Heather that's a separate my cousins are really tight plus your imagine ism is has nothing to do with anal for her to get you some Botox in that pus. We need to get you a new purse. And while you're at it I don't know what it's like she's like I'm not looking like for me tight little pinpoint prick. Not really a boat. Oh my god that's what she had to look up she's like, except for I was looking at this looks like well, that also could be Yeah, like it's kind of like posts home tree Yeah, like but with hair. Yeah, like that's hood hair.

Bobby: 58:28

Fucking neighborhood like

Unknown: 58:34

you guys stop seeing it. It's so gross.

Cady: 58:38

skin flap I really feel

Bobby: 58:42

is no new producer.

Jim: 58:47

She got a good skin flap. Well go back that skin flap and you'll find this treasure. You'll find a tree down here there's a tree down there and she made her skin flap do worse. I like now I

Heather Cousin: 59:02

like hood his hair Beckinsale or not?

Jim: 59:04

It is it is I've got here. I'm not trimming anymore. I'm just making news. Nobody everybody is natural. We all have to have hair now. Yeah,

Heather Cousin: 59:11

not a lot just like clean don't want to look like a child. Like that's what's happening.

Jim: 59:16

I don't want to be a pedophile like am I put on your pants? And I'm like, where's the hair? Yeah. Yeah, like I don't want to find out like yeah, no, I gotta have hair Sorry Sorry girls some sorry. Just like stubble. So

Cady: 59:28

like yeah, like

Bobby: 59:31

I'd say like three weeks

Jim: 59:34

okay now and that's about it doesn't get any deck No, but like a cleaned up. You said three weeks is not for long. There's nothing about three

Heather Cousin: 59:43

weeks for an Italian

Jim: 59:46

well actually I'm not What are you? My mom had her DNA tests so my mom you like 30% Shout Italian percent North Italian. Are all Russian. No, your Russian all like

Heather Cousin: 59:57

sloth is not Russian. Throw

Bobby: 59:59

this out. yeah

Jim: 1:00:02

he hasn't rushed anywhere in years. Now. I knew you'd come up well, great. Not a bad review. He's rushed into the refrigerator. I have no Italian me though,

Bobby: 1:00:12

you know?

Cady: 1:00:15

Yeah. As northern my mom is in me I

Bobby: 1:00:18

didn't get any from her. How do you know I didn't know that because we got our DNA tests. Oh, you

Heather Cousin: 1:00:24

just told me yours came through but you

Jim: 1:00:26

got one you got nothing from your mother

Bobby: 1:00:32

so Eastern Europe and Russia my mom's 45% Okay, she's 30% in Italian so I got all the Eastern Europe I got the Balkans I got Sweden and Denmark, but I didn't get any Italian. I don't believe in that. Seriously. No, I

Cady: 1:00:46

think it's true is Italian you are

Bobby: 1:00:48

the dominant the dominant gene was the Eastern euro is Sameera

Heather Cousin: 1:00:52

Hungarian. What am I your Slovak? Your honey your polish? Slovak Russian Czechoslovakia? Yeah, we're

Bobby: 1:00:58

very you're definitely Russian. German, German. Oh, yeah.

Jim: 1:01:04

Those Germans have thick sausages. What? Abasi?

Unknown: 1:01:11

Polish? Well, yeah, cuwbc kielbasa polish. She'll

Bobby: 1:01:14

be now No,

Unknown: 1:01:16

thank you. Thank you. I

Jim: 1:01:17

think I would say thank you for listening to everyone and honestly thinking to the pussies who joined us today and get to the pussies the gays and the gays in the pus like we love them. Well, some of us love them more than others. Mainly your boyfriend's now. Now, if you want to subscribe I don't care about the fucking what you're saying. Are

Unknown: 1:01:35

you Oh, Hannah. Yeah,

Bobby: 1:01:38

I'm fine. I'm just really fucking high. Ham is like way stronger than this one. It's the same pod. No, this is not doesn't let me pull as much as this one. So like the first hit was like, like this kind of pool speaking of like, put like a pussy face like kung fu I was even doing it

Jim: 1:01:55

right in there. The girls like oh, like you're faking? And I was like, yeah, if I were a girl, I would fake every time I'm like, don't touch my penis. Don't get near me.

Cady: 1:02:04

Like then you're done. I would actually it's like hobbies whole

Jim: 1:02:08

life is faking so he would lie would actually finger over her touching me. I would just finger her and I was like, why am I gonna kiss her but a second ladies on the posi looks like I used to make the ladies Wyatt run. Run away.

Unknown: 1:02:30

You're such a liar.

Jim: 1:02:32

You're such a liar. Nothing about you makes anyone wet. Maybe sweat maybe sweaty but not wet.

Heather Cousin: 1:02:40

They tell you you were a good kisser like who said

Jim: 1:02:44

Oh he's

Heather Cousin: 1:02:49

so good at giving had and you're the worst I'm the

Bobby: 1:02:52

worst. At honey. I like to suck it But honey I'm bad. I'm like tired I put a special mint

Jim: 1:02:59

because otherwise it's just dried like sandpaper apparently we've learned from what we've heard from the streets the gay bars we know that we've heard honey caddy walks in kitty cat kitty yeah batch we know that's her Sandra and that's another episode

Bobby: 1:03:32

Oh, I gotta go we gotta go. Thank you.

Unknown: 1:03:36

Oh no yeah, she wouldn't give me the nine so my you I get it when the three way like the money is Tom taco. You know, I bought like you still in the Julie. Fendi. I never write Gucci. I'm wearing coochie Christopher wireless I get some rexine talking about clauses I get some bras can fit in my pockets. They're rocking no auto sweeping apps Apollo daggers YouTube back to follow