“You could be happy here, I could take care of you. I wouldn't let anybody hurt you. We could grow up together, E.T.” “You could take care of me. You could always take care of me,”…“I could be the one that takes care of you, E.T., I'm your friend and I love you,” - Elliott (E.T.)
Well, we decided it would be a good idea to go to a bar and drink like we never had before we recorded. Jim is not too thrilled with Bobby making him leave the bar to record but teaches the youth who listen to the show what TRL is and what a fan girl use to do back in the day. Bobby tells us about how his haircut lady Teresa spins him around in the chair when a hot guy enters the shop so Bobby can have a front row view. We also talk about Mama Bears and how stupid they are because Bobby got blocked by Karen Randler (see episode 127 “Spoon-fed Heterosexuality) for more details on that whole situation. Bobby loves and hates ET while Jim was traumatized by watching Schindler’s List as a kid. All this and more.
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If you call yourself a mama bear go to hell. Reagan's grave is a gender neutral bathroom.
Bobby:I don't fucking care I get I get kind of nasty like I'm just a fucking disaster
Jim:Bobby beam Bobby like he's been a true bitch we obviously know he's hot. I mean I was being a good girl. Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah,
Bobby:get your shit together and get it fucking together
Jim:what is this is a battlefield a white boy and Cherokee County
Bobby:it's so hard being fat Warning
Unknown:the following is extremely funny and inappropriate listener Discretion is Advised
Bobby:okay okay hello everybody welcome to another episode of not well I am Bobby I'm Jim Jim's mad for some reason
Jim:well when you drag me out of bar after I'm having fun all afternoon
Bobby:I didn't drag you I asked you politely if you want to record today and you were like wow I'm so so go no eat bread with somebody or I am you know okay a lot going on right now because cuz your drill you just kicked your own fucking god. I'm sorry your drone. Never gonna get a YouTube video going because this is. I like your shirt though. I'll just be honest. Can you read a shout out for everyone please?
Jim:Okay. Hi, I'm Jim. And my shirt says Reagan's grave is a gender neutral bathroom.
Bobby:No mean you went where tonight? What do we do today? Sorry, not tonight. today. I was like, Honey, when he drinks did you have versus me
Jim:first we went to a lesbian bar called Slammers. And I had wondering there because I was being appropriate you on the other hand, I had to you had a Captain Morgan punch
Bobby:and a double fucking Jim Taan. Honey.
Jim:I didn't order a double well, they poured you a double. Doesn't matter. That been the go to Madonna.
Bobby:I think they probably a double of the Raimo I saw the Captain Morgan. Not a single because let me tell you my Captain Morgan for me is very now what happens when you get Captain Morgan? You know how he stands on a little legend? He has his leg up. Yeah, that's me. Like I'm just a fucking disaster like, I'm gonna if you want to see me really fucked up if you want to see me really fucked up like really? Every week. Ila ever? No, like tequila makes me fucking psycho.
Jim:Now I've had to pet you to sleep in bed before?
Bobby:Yeah, no, that's true.
Jim:I am it's okay Bobby. It's well, sometimes I get like blacked because of marijuana. Exactly what happens differently with tequila. I get really hyper. And horny and hot. And I've never seen that. I've seen you hot. No, like I'm talking like, hyper and I've never seen you horn. It's more like my ears get really hot. And then I'm like,
Bobby:I don't fucking care. I get I get kind of nasty.
Jim:Horny, though. That's, that's new. That's new for you. So we know what I mean. Like things like that. And I want you horny. That's not happening lately. Do I make you oh and a bay
Bobby:Rondi
Jim:or Randy. That's
Bobby:it. You met me Randy. Oh, I'm too old for that. Um, that's trauma for me weren't allowed to
Jim:watch growing up. You weren't awesome powers inappropriate. No, no, we were not allowed to watch vagina
Bobby:hump a lot. No, no, no.
Jim:Do you remember? Like it looks like a Johnson? Yeah. And they're like watching the Wiener go.
Bobby:Like, two balls are like
Jim:we weren't allowed to watch it.
Bobby:Oh my god. That was so what shows were you not? Oh my god. I think we have the same kind of show.
Jim:Okay, first of all, MTV was blocked. Yeah, like renegade MBB VH one blocked all of it was blocked actually. What's there the Nickelodeon blocked and loaded was born. And when I when I turned 12 There me on the show. Now when I turned 12 I asked my mom for the password so I could watch TRL so she gave me the password for all the block shows and I got to watch TRL every after school, and I got to vote for my favorite blue band. Which was what I didn't have one so I voted for whatever when I wanted to.
Bobby:You look like an old town kind of a girl. What? Oh, town. Yay. Yeah.
Jim:What the fuck is oh town? Oh, so I don't remember. Oh, that must been a little after. You're a little older than me. So I don't remember whose way before my time. Yeah, maybe
Bobby:like you're more like One Direction. I'm more like Backstreet Boys.
Jim:No, I was like, I mean, I'm not that young. Like in sinkin. Backstreet Boys, we're
Bobby:always in the top two of TRL right that's why I said you probably go to our younger listeners even understand how they have no fucking idea what TRL is TRL is Total Request Live where people would call in and be or no telephone and it would be like home tele. Yeah, and you would vote for your favorite music videos. It'd be like the top 10 every day and you go home from school at 430 It'd be getting dark in New York City.
Jim:You got about my friends. We would call in all day just to be like
Bobby:it's really it's really phenomenon
Jim:same music video bye bye bye. And like what I am i i Forget the Backstreet Boys song that was for you tearing up my heart when you or was it when they were they were in an airport? Yeah the airplane hangar or airplane? Or your your grandfather was
Bobby:a pilot that makes you know gay all you people can you see gay? That's not it
Jim:um you really know the whole catalog you my five that's it bitch. And actually that song like bye bye bye. We're like
Bobby:yeah, they weren't both top two let me mostly yet Britney Spears in there people don't get it don't get it they don't like to actually we had to call we have Tik Tok to show us the newest song I
Jim:voted for Kelly Clarkson in the moment. I caught a moment
Bobby:like this
Jim:Well, that was clear.
Bobby:And meanwhile, you had about four kisses on your pussy tonight. darts
Jim:that is so things like I mean, I was being a good girl, first of all, like,
Bobby:I'm just really like, I'm a little shuck about I'm just gonna say it. I'm gonna say it.
Jim:I thought you were like in the corner. I'm sure filming me. Oh, yeah, there
Bobby:was a funny moment though. Because if you kick this fucking camera again. There was a funny moment where you were grabbing a guy's ass but then you were like poor and then you just patted it a little bit. It's the best video ever. It's gonna probably make like news. It's gonna make news everywhere. It's gonna make the top Ukraine you news story?
Jim:I've invited to see you on one more Zelinsky piece of clothing I hit
Bobby:I'm not wearing one I'm fucking done. I like him. Yeah, but I don't need you and your husband to work tomorrow fantasize about him or what? Goals Michaels wearing I asked him where the shirt Xena what though? I'd people ask them where I got the shirt. So don't even like amazon.com.
Jim:Like, literally. It's like, Where'd I get the shirt? The latest Nightster Amazon honey. I listen, I just want to know you saw me grabbing ass and you hated it. No, I
Bobby:just was very surprised. Not surprised. But I feel like you're with your being a player. Yeah, like I was number one. I'm like every guy here so we talked it. We really can't go into it because we don't want to like hurt people's feelings. They're not
Jim:listening. For sure. None of them are sure. 100% Babe, no one listens to this.
Bobby:So we walk. Oh, no, they do. We're five watts out in the world. Top 2.5 in the world. What's that? That's a lot. 2.5 of one out of 4 million podcasts? Were in the 2.5% top. What? Yeah, honey, get your shit together and get it fucking together. Oh my God, my tits were sagging. Because when you go to Austin, there's gonna be a bunch of fucking people that want to parade you and get right on their knees. Oh, y'all start behaving? Oh, they're not going to. Yes, ma'am. Now, now back to the story there. They're decent looking people. They're not ugly. They're just not high grill you can be no, they're not ugly. They're really not a lot of more you talk a lot more very cute. A lot of them are not are not cute. I don't know a lot of more like fives. So when you're a seven walk into like we're the minnows and like the bigger sea but like in this weird
Jim:little pond, we are the fish. Like we have these kind of places. And it's heaven. And there are hot Yes, you get to pick of the
Bobby:litter here either linear or they're not ugly. That's the thing. They are not ugly. They're just not like stars, but they're
Jim:not going to shine. And when we shine when we show we shine bright, like a
Bobby:diamond. So I want to play you a clip.
Unknown:Get your fucking ass up and work. It seems like nobody wants to work these days. And you have to surround yourself with people that want to work. They all look
Bobby:bad. Oh wow.
Jim:That's a she looks bad. I was gonna say it but all the Kardash Okay, yes. So nobody wants to work these days. You gotta You better work but how does
Bobby:that make you feel?
Jim:You got to go work. It makes me feel Trump's reaction. Absolute dumb bitch that I would never listen to because she is privileged. She's coming from a background where she didn't have to work for anything. She got handed millions of dollars to start a business and then it's like I'm successful. Look at me. Oh my god, honey, you fucked Ray J like the only reason you're popular is because you fucked Ray J and that's what got you popular literally.
Bobby:That's literally got you like oh, well without that we wouldn't give a fuck and you're lucky is for only fans times because honestly now if you did it, nobody would give a file. Like oh, there's reposting for
Jim:only fans we were like oh my god a stars pussy someone we actually have heard it before having sex. Wow. Now it's like only fans I give you pain literally find anybody like oh I don't give anybody like like you're not even that hot new colleagues or there's porn like we don't give a fuck but cam really cam cam really bad like I
Bobby:work like it's really it's really embarrassing actually to say that because like you grew up in a lower lower neighborhood when you were growing up because your daddy was a lawyer. He was a tiny little mansion in Beverly Hills, a little mansion and you know you grew up in You had a hard time and you've said I'm going to start me. Now you also got fucked by Ray J. And I want that to be the clear moment. Here's
Jim:the moment of time for when you got fucked by rage and that was you working hard. You worked hard, and I watched it. I used to jerk off to it. You worked hard
Bobby:for them. What? Yeah. Oh, that's gonna have to wait. What? Oh, wait, so
Jim:I jerked off to rage and because you like Ray J. Ray, J's dick. It's huge. Is it?
Bobby:Is that Randy's brother? I don't think it is. Yeah. brandies brothers, Ray J.
Jim:Wow. Yeah, I didn't realize that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's the COVID
Bobby:Aj is brandies, bro. Hey, Jack. Yes.
Jim:Why like rages dicks.
Bobby:I don't give a so you use some x ray? Machine video. Hey, sir. jerk off to Reagan. So did you ever watch keep Keeping Up With The Kardashians?
Jim:Not a single episode. Mila. Why would it be interested? Like, literally, I never got my friends. I'm trying to figure out why you give a fuck what they're doing. Like what about that car died? Like what do we have to keep up with? Oh, they're living their privilege. Like they're going shopping.
Bobby:They're like, literally on their phones. Like, why
Jim:is that interesting? Anyone? There's nothing going on there. They're just rich people living in Beverly Hills. I don't care.
Bobby:Jim doesn't give a fuck.
Jim:I've never been more annoyed than when people are like, have you seen keeping up with a question? No. You know what's going on? Have you heard about her breakup with that NBA player? No, I don't give a fuck.
Bobby:You know, I say it louder for the fucking people in the back. You don't give a fuck about Kim Chi. And that's fine. I don't really like her either. She's a dumb bitch. Now. This is disgusting. The beer. Yeah. Taste like why?
Jim:I don't know what it tastes like. Peanuts. Cumin. I hate the sky ramen. No common Common. Common.
Bobby:I call it common. l really? It's not what's called gluten coming in.
Jim:It's coming in.
Bobby:I had a really funny moment. I decided share. Okay, okay. So I get my hair cut like every three weeks or whatever. Like whatever. Okay, except to look good, obviously. Where the crickets actually honestly, the crickets again, before I even get into that. I feel really bad lately about my self esteem.
Jim:I feel like you've been calling yourself fat. Yeah, I every thought every other moment. You're like, I'm so fat.
Bobby:I'm at the point. Like most fat people know this and all my fats out there. Hello. You know when you hit a certain point, though, where it's like, oh, no, this is like a do or die moment like either I'm gonna get even fatter, or I can like level back down. I'm at that moment for me personally. I'm like, really having a hard time. I didn't realize Yeah, like a chicken this week. Like trying to like lose weight. And I didn't. I ate chicken. Yeah, like chicken and vegetables. Like in salad. Like I didn't eat shit this week. It's bad. It's so hard being fat. I'm just really hoping a CPAP machine like way like I need a shot. I need like all kinds of stuff. A shot of that new drug they're giving for people for frappe Well, I could use that too. Well,
Jim:I'm getting well you're not allowed.
Bobby:Which is fine. You can't listen. Here's the rule though. You can be poly and open all you want. You can't judge other people for their rules and regulations. Right? I mean, cuz I'm not judging you for your rules and regulations. You can't reverse. Oh, wow. For not liking it. You just checked it 14 times.
Jim:Well, I'm trying to get drunk enough where what you're saying you're already honey there. You're there. Oh, you're there. That were drunk enough. Oh, thanks. Yeah. That was nice to you. I like that.
Bobby:I don't really know what I said. Now, no, ma'am. Now what I was saying though, is my
Jim:how fat you are. Let's talk about how haircuts can't help how fat Yeah,
Bobby:so I like getting my hair cut though cuz I feel skinny. Is there something you need to say? No, Your face says it all. The silence is deafening. So my what's really funny though, is my haircut lady and I sit there what
Jim:I really like my haircut. Oh
Bobby:my haircut lady. Yeah, it's true when I'm when I'm shaving up baby. This is high and tight. I'm skinny. What's really funny though, is I didn't realize until this last time my haircut lady like moves me around as hot guys come in so I can see them. I love isn't that amazing? I said I go Theresa. I said why do you keep whipping me around? I go this is like honestly amazing. Like, yeah, I look she'll be like, Shabbat Oh, honey, and she'll fly me to the front door to like, let me see the front door if somebody's coming in. And we'll be like, Yeah, we didn't maybe not Oh, yeah, that is not amazing. But we I was laughing so hard. I'm like here I am sitting in this fucking chair getting my fucking haircut judging bitches as they were both talking shit the whole time but I thought it was really cute moment. I was like I need to share this with people like you need to find a haircut lady that will let you and now I know that you're not used to haircut ladies and that's fine. Yeah, I'm
Jim:like I Yeah, it's really zero relation to this and actually like it's almost therapeutic though. Like we get well I remember getting my haircut I used to love her. It felt just Someone might head and be like,
Bobby:feels good. Do you? Do you feel like you're lacking that in your life? Like do you need someone to rub your head? Yes. Oh, I need someone to rub both heads feel like I don't feel like when I take a big wad of lotion and just rub it all over your head. Whoa, girl.
Jim:A big wad of lotion a
Bobby:big water loss. Take a big guy to be nasty to me. No, I'm just asking or I'm just saying. I asking you're saying no, I'm saying I want to get a big wad of fucking lotion and rub it on your head and rub it around.
Jim:You could do that tonight. Actually, it does need rubbed your hand. Yeah.
Bobby:There's plenty of guys at every bar the wages went to that loves rub
Jim:that head. I know I've got them lined up and I just don't know what like
Bobby:literally lined up like one left. The next one came in one left. The next one came in and you're like, Oh, I was like hi. You're like Hey, me number one. The FUCK THE FUCK. You have your mouth full of decks like how am I number one
Jim:you've always been number one I've taken my
Bobby:mouth no you I just want your I want your mind and your spirit with me.
Jim:I don't need you to caulk or my cock in Yeah, like my mind is spirit maybe with you but my copier caulk is
Bobby:his ass. It's sorry. And we talked about last last weekend how it needs to be pretty pretty cleaned up. But honestly, there's a lot of scarred assholes that we all fuck. So it's fine. Oh, I've
Jim:been with assholes that you wouldn't believe. Like literally it's like, what is this? This is a battlefield.
Bobby:It's a battlefield. Battlefield now. Okay, now let's go ahead and get to a commercial we'll be right back. Okay.
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Jim:They are offering a $10 discount coupon at checkout for the next week. hydronic hydration on amazon.com. Now ma'am,
Bobby:welcome back. Welcome
Jim:back from commercial break.
Bobby:Welcome back. Welcome. Now
Jim:actually on Monday, I had a little adventure to date, as we call it. I went out with a cute boy. And we went through the same with the cute haul. It was. It may or may not have been the same guy. May or not may Mayor Mayor mayor. Oh no, it's
Bobby:okay baby. You're good. You're doing okay.
Jim:So I went with the perfect hole guy. I went to a hockey game. I know Yeah. Your hockey. Now it was against the Toronto Maple Leafs. Okay, so I look Canadian team. So let me tell you what level of drunk I was at.
Unknown:One out of 10 Oh, yeah, exactly.
Jim:So we're sitting there in the first period. And during the first period, I had heard gleif Go, go leave go. No, leave? No. And I was like, oh, that must be a player's last name. So I'm looking around I'm looking at all the backs of the jerseys. I'm like, Who is the Russian named Glico and oh no, no, I turn around I these two Canadians were next to us. Right by no leaves go see already knew that. Wow. Because you're a hockey player. No, I
Bobby:think it's really bizarre like Canadians are really psychotic but hockey
Jim:is I would just want to say something you know, it's a hit called the Maple Leafs Lea s not leaves. So when they were saying go leaves go. I thought that was a name. Now. They say go leaves go. No leaves go. Leaves go but on their jersey. Oh, leafs. It's leafs F s the best. grammatically correct.
Bobby:It's not correct. It's because it's from back in the day. It's back in the 1920s Canada. I love Canada though. Honestly. Really? Well.
Jim:I did a little bit hands. I love a little bit
Bobby:hands on. It's a little handmade. And that's what I needed to talk about the safe
Jim:space for when Trump takes over again. That's what got me to go to Canon Law.
Bobby:I have an update on Karen Rambler. He pregnant Oh Karen Rambler. who's a member the girl that was like my daughter and my son are gonna learn sexuality from anybody about me. This read book was read Cranbrook is all about you remember her? To the Powerpuff Girl? Yeah, I can't forget. She deleted me on Facebook. Oh, what? So I sorry, you got deleted I had a really psychotic post that I'm not actually is not scattered at all. Did you have a moment? Yeah, because GA now is trying to join Florida. In the don't say gay Bill agenda and now they put something into the legislation and I was like you know what? On Facebook I've never really been very open like they don't like gay your legs open but not on Facebook on Facebook Facebook's very conservative like that's that that's the people from home like whatever I said fuck it. I literally said fuck it and I wrote this like long ass it's pretty it's cute. I'm not gonna read it. But it's basically just saying like the struggle that I went through, through growing up in the county that I grew up in, in Georgia, like everybody just thinks everything's perfect and I'm Eric Quay county Yeah, tricky county remember when you kill those Asian ladies 1000 Tri County Asian lady remember when the like the massage people got murdered? And yeah, sure County. Oh, that was a problem.
Jim:Do you know what I mean? Like things like that. That was Cherokee County.
Bobby:So from from your from trash for so everybody check headings very. It's either one or the other. It's like you have the working class there in case you also have like a very high white collar class. Like a lot people have to work there. So rich, white collar. Blue Collar. There's blue collar, and there's white collar,
Jim:white collar are the people who are executives. Right? So there's blue. Yes,
Bobby:there's a blue collar you following now? Follow? Look ready?
Jim:Do they have pink collar?
Bobby:Cherokee County is blue collar. Plus, also white collar. So you have a bunch of rich as fucking people and a bunch
Jim:of people who is more honestly, it's pretty split.
Bobby:A lot of people have on the golf. I hate your county. It's bad. And we go to Atlanta. We're gonna go there cuz I got to show you my whole life. See it? You hate me. I
Jim:don't want to end up in jail. Well, I don't care.
Bobby:Honestly. I didn't sue the city party sued the city. No, but I decided to write this out because I was like, I need to actually let people know wrote your memoir on Facebook. It was really a moment for me though. I think I was very therapeutic. And I feel good about it. My mom called me crying. So they're here. What? Yeah, mom crying goes. I'm just
Jim:your mom called you.
Bobby:Oh, I'll tell you that. Now you didn't tell me that. And she goes, I just want to let you know that. Like I'm really sorry that you had to go through so I feel like it's my faucet and then she goes I'm really proud of you. She's really proud of you that you said something and that and she's like, You should work with kids. I was like, No, that's a little
Jim:girl you should really work
Bobby:through it, honey. Well, no, but like I don't want kids to feel like it cuz I lost my voice in sixth grade. I never got it back. And so I'm laryngitis. No, I
Jim:was scared of everyone. Oh, murder figuratively. I was scared of getting murdered. Yeah, like a white boy and Cherokee County scared of getting a gay white boy. Like,
Bobby:I mean, everybody use the word gay and Fagor a. Oh, see? You're from the south. Mm hmm. Like it's very, it's very much like that. So welcome, Cherry County. Oh, but anyway, I really like appreciate my mom reaching out and I reached out with us. No, I really went through a lot like when I was gay. When I am gay. I am gay when I was in sixth grade, like when I stopped like so I used to be. I've talked about the student council. I used to be very active. Oh, you were I was very like, anyway, when I died. I died inside. And I'm back though. I put on announcement that I was back I put everybody on blast that I'm back. And I don't need to. I don't need anybody's validation to make me feel any worse or better about myself. But then I already feel
Jim:I'm not actually a fan. I just we just had a roller coaster of emotions there. I can't tell were happy, sad, angry or validated. But
Bobby:both all? All of it. I actually felt relief because I'm like, you know, I finally put it out there. And notice that Karen Ramler dude,
Jim:I mean, so I'm like, lopped it on the tape. Well,
Bobby:I kind of made a comment about people who make posts about stories that are just about being different. Oops. And then you get all your I say mom Karen or something saw the mom Karen's so then that's what got me deleted, and honestly, I'm glad I'm fucking deleted. Delete me.
Jim:Listen, these cons don't need you don't to be in their lives because there'll be challenged there'll be like, Oh, no,
Bobby:I love how she can write some dumb shit. I don't delete her.
Jim:Daughter, they transgenderism? It's like bitchy, unrelated. No idea what you're talking about. Like no in it and like honey, but then I say something that's like real. This is my ex. I'm like, I actually like Hate. Like everybody treating me like shit. Like we ought to read her daughter her Oh, yeah. Not even her daughter's actual experience. It was from the mom so my mom's daughter of what her daughter went through my now she's like trying to read Bobby's experience. Fuck block blocked, deleted these fucking cut. I'm so done with Mama bears.
Unknown:My mama bear.
Bobby:Mama Bear.
Jim:Fuck off,
Bobby:honestly. Bear
Jim:mama bears if you call yourself a mama bear go to hell literally. I honestly I kind of agree. I don't want to talk to you. You're a freak. If you call yourself a mama bear this mama bear right here, it's gonna get nasty and you can't even accept that someone born a male might say I'm a woman, but you're gonna call yourself an animal. I'm a mama bear. You're not a mama bear. You're a bitch.
Bobby:i Hi, gay. Love. Honey. That's exactly that might be a clip of the week.
Jim:I'm just done keep giving these clubs. It's I'm so done. Like, I'm listening to them. And I'm like, do you hear your so you want to like punch them though? Like I feel very violent. I just want to accidentally trip and fall and break their face while holding the knife. Fat titties mentally accidentally fall and like if they were sharing your cliff and I just Oops. Oh shit.
Bobby:To me. It's really sad. No, it's like, and your kids are going to have to deal with their trauma events. That's
Jim:the main problem for me is that all these parents are raising children. And the children are growing up going like my parents are fucking idiots. But they have to be quiet about after this until they get to like late high school college. They have to be like, okay, Mom and Dad.
Bobby:Why didn't they be kicked out? Yeah, it's rebellions our parents every time because you're you don't know you have no idea. And then you have adults here like, like, why my mom care about the red cran but like, how embarrassing if they look back at her Facebook and see that fucking post? I'll be like, why would you? Why did like how embarrassing for you, you dumb bitch.
Jim:I don't know anything about transgender guys. That could be like, Listen,
Bobby:honey, don't you also don't speak for me. I B has asked he didn't beat mine. The bullying thing? Exactly. I don't know. I just think it's really endless. And I hate everybody. I'm
Jim:just shocked that you're the one being blocked for speaking or saying something that's like nothing true. Nothing but your experience my experience like not being like you're not making statements. You're not like, this is how it has to be in all people who don't do this or this or this are terrible people. You were a little like one of when I was growing up. I was afraid to be myself. And I learned later that you had to just be yourself. And they're like, No,
Bobby:totally.
Jim:I mean, I don't people understand like the people that are passing these bills. He's no gables like, I don't know anyone like that. I literally had to watch all my friends have their first kisses early while they were 13 or teen. Our go to pilot. I was literally like in high school like, oh, they actually like someone and although I had someone I write and we will participate in quotes, like you're like, oh, I have a fake girlfriend. The whole fall of high school. I just said Oh, it's my girlfriend of mine. Now we're both just smart and like we like it. Right? And you
Bobby:knew that you were gay. So you were like, I can't really figure that putting you on? I mean, like I I'm just I'm beyond like
Jim:You're like choking on a puzzle.
Bobby:First of all, we ain't talking. Oh, look at that. Oh,
Jim:sorry. What's that?
Bobby:So anyway, if you're struggling up there, just make sure you don't listen to any of the dumb fucking people in your hometown and get the fuck out as soon as you can. Because I also have a moment of people who like I don't know if you agree with this and people are going to not agree with us and it's okay, if you have never moved away from your hometown. You're a fucking losers in other words,
Unknown:go to a loser fat loser. Let's live with your mother. Bow and your goddamn loser to me.
Bobby:I'm gonna watch my words but yeah, you You don't know anything else like where's that gonna go? You don't know anything you literally are so used to the same like little mini politics that you do. Yeah, this is the problem. You don't get out of your bubble.
Jim:And this is a problem with people in life in general. You have 7080 years on this planet if you don't put yourself in someone else's shoes if you don't go beyond where you were born and the people you know when you grew up you will never grow as a person you don't grow no you don't don't know what it's like you literally know what it's like for you only
Bobby:in that environment specific
Jim:environment. Go somewhere else. Go to other people meet new people
Bobby:go somewhere where nobody knows you. I would love to see you try to meet people because exactly
Jim:you need to try to live so hard because you will see how dumb you are. How dumb to be honest. But also how similar you are to other people. Oh my god. Yeah, it's like you think it's though they're so different from me and then you go do it and you're like this is not that different from what I do. Literally the only thing that's very similar people in general but they like different people or they have different likes different needs Okay,
Bobby:so they love Oh, same sex and so the yeah oh, oh my God. Oh, no. Oh, we can be friends. Okay. Oh, no, literally like I go to work every day just like you I fucking do everything just like you. They want to eat three meals a day just like you they go to work. They come home they relax, right? We watch Netflix like we all watch the same damn show. People need to move outside their hometown unless a mandatory move I think shouldn't matter if you live in New York City because York
Jim:City are also caught in their own like little. They don't know what it's like everywhere else. It's
Bobby:like, hey, it's true. And it's different.
Jim:Every different experience you have every different city you go to take something from it, grow, learn, grow, expand your mind, because everyone you know, there's 7 billion people on this planet. Everyone has a different experience. And it lasts for eight years. Like, just imagine like, you're the only one you're not the only one you're not your way of living is not the only way. That's what you need to know. So
Bobby:you're gonna die. Yeah, yeah. What is your point of like, not being accepting of people when you're just gonna die and never gonna forget about you anyway, you might as well live it up and have a really great friends. And like, that's where I would say, I had to learn the hard way too, because I used to think I'm not gay. Like, I'm not like those people. Honey. I'm just like, shuffling you're shuffling I am because we're about to go to the card game. Is there a movie that traumatize you? Like, is there a movie when you're a kid? You're like, Oh, my fucking God. I never never be the same. That's a good question. I would say.
Jim:i It's hard for me to say like, I don't think I can't think of a movie where I was like,
Bobby:I have one that's good and bad. No, so for me, et was a big movie for me. Now, okay, I
Jim:can think of one like,
Bobby:I love et
Jim:now at all. I'm also I did et terrify you
Bobby:terrified of ET. Like if eg came running at me out of the fucking woods with some fucking easy peasy candies and said, No, no, no,
Jim:no, I couldn't do that. I couldn't watch you till I was like 15. I mean, I was looking at the screen. Oh, I could not watch it. I was like, 12. And it's grow like, oh, et so good. I saw that little fucking creature in
Bobby:a river. Do you know the river when he leaves the river? He's white. And he's like, I mean, dying, dying. And you're like,
Jim:I could not watch. And then the fact the fact that the neck just like popped up. Yeah. I mean, why would I want to watch that? It's
Bobby:just not for me. It's not for me, bitch. Like, it's Krauss. he's gross. But I love them too, though. It was like, about half right? So I wanted to get him home. But I don't want to touch them. But then also like, don't come into my sleep. Like, I thought he's gonna come into my dreams. I also remember a line from that movie that's very impactful in my life. The brother goes to the younger brother. Or another younger brother says the older brother. You don't know anything. You fucking are not fucking you penis breath. He calls them penis breath. Now, that means he's been sucking deck. Right? So they're implying that He's a faggot?
Jim:So you were sitting there like I've sucked it. I was like, penis breath.
Bobby:This is a penis really stink like I Yeah, and I always think every time I have a penis broth,
Jim:you do you did earlier today. I got Nero's like,
Bobby:oh my god did I have penis? Rafi? Penis breath. Oh my god. I am I just thought it was like a moment for me. That's like trauma for me. Like at like, I love them. And I hate them. Do you? I mean, like, don't don't. I just it's grown as a breath. And I learned about what penis breath is for me too. And that I also want to ride bikes and fly. But that's just another Now is there anything traumatizing for you as a child as far as a boobie
Jim:mine was actually traumatizing, unlike that. So when my mom was on bed rest because she was pregnant with her fourth child, which she wasn't supposed to have. She was like in the bed for months like watching movies and all that other stuff. She Was Bad right in those she could not get out about like your doctors were like geriatric pregnancy. No, not by her doctors were like, You have to stay in bed or she's coming out. Literally, I haven't looking back. I'm like, How did you do that? So for a month, I could tell her how she he would love how I wish I had to you oh my god, I have to lay down to be on bed. I would love it. I'd be like,
Bobby:oh my god prescribing bedroom.
Jim:I would love it. I'd be like you would just sit there with my CPAP on.
Bobby:I'd have a whole like setup. My laptop would be next to me. I would have like food. Um, I gotta be you. Oh my god, like fat Amy. You are fat or fat. Tammy? I'm sorry.
Jim:We don't watch that. I do skinny people don't watch that show. But fat people love it.
Bobby:I screen watch.
Jim:Yeah, cuz they're like, Oh, she's fatter than me this fat? No. So my mom was on bed rest and she was watching Schindler's List. So I walk in the room as a child. My mom's like, oh, I don't know if you should watch this. And I was like, I want to hang out. I want to see I haven't seen him for a while. So I'm laying on the bed and watching it's the scene where like all these Jews are being forced to work in the streets and like shovel snow. And literally this old man who has crutches because he has like a bowling or something. It has to like shovel and he's shoveling slow and like he can't shovel cuz he has crutches. So he's trying to shovel and he's not shoveling fast enough and the Nazis are like yelling at him. And then like him in an alleyway and just shoot him in the head. And he like falls to the ground. There's blood in the snow. And I'm sitting there like, oh, we Wyatt. Like I remember being a kid like, what? I had nightmares of that man that this snow shoveler coming that's smashed Avila No, I mean to me and my dream, like I was in bed and I would wake up and he's like, he was in the room. I'm sorry, sorry. No, that's
Bobby:a really heavy movie.
Jim:That's a heavy movie. But like, this is the problem with people these days. And like they're talking about the Holocaust. Like they have no sense of history. They have no idea what went on. They really don't understand like, when you see anti vaxxers wearing like the stars that Jews had to wear that say Judah, the Buddha, and it's like, they're wearing it because they're like, I'm an anti Vaxxer. I'm being treated like the Jews during the Holocaust. I'm like, Oh, I have pictures. All these anti vaxxers are laying the star of like David's or David saying that they're being treated like Jews during the Holocaust.
Bobby:I fucking hate white.
Jim:I know. They're all white. They're all they're all white. They're all white and we're Baptist. Do you really know what happened? Like they don't know they know that's happening to you today is like how it was in the Holocaust. You're so mean that it's like nothing is like that. You were literally rounded up just for being a Jew. You were put in camps at all. Yeah, scenes were destroyed or taken and sold and gas and then they took your teeth out to sell the fillings because it was gold or silver fillings. Oh my God, I didn't they cut your hair. Because it could be like they took your shoes, everything from you and they made you work or the and they made you work until they could kill some. And but you're like, oh, because you won't get a vaccine. You're like the Jews. You're being treated like the
Bobby:Jews. There's a movie. It's bad. It's kind of like Schindler's List, but it's like a kid who his dad is like a German like like a general that like runs and he he meets a boy.
Jim:That pajamas. Yeah, all right, but Boy in the Striped
Bobby:Yes. that I need to see that fucked me up.
Jim:Find me saying like, yeah, exactly. And those are the movies as a kid or like I said it process like so watch a lot. That's a nice old man on crutches. Like why is he being shot in the head? I mean, literally teen row, so he's being killed.
Bobby:It's like, that basically explains exactly what awarenesses adults it literally is like, like, you're like, the Jews and I'm like, Oh my god. Et like Ross looking.
Jim:I'm more were
Bobby:like, Oh, there's another war coming like it's happening now. Yeah, shout out to
Jim:shout outs is the lens Glinski at geo leading this country against
Bobby:Russia horrible fucking people. Putin who's like, I swollen and dying. He is He looks like which is good. And bye. Bye. Banjo home. Putin is like a really bossy bottom that has Oh, ugly dirty hole exactly. As a scarred hole and he's a bossy bottom. You can't be a bossy bottom animal scar. Hold. I'm sorry.
Jim:No, True. True. If you're gonna be a bossy bottom, perfect. hairless pink. Perfect. No scar.
Bobby:Not even pink. And I was thinking the other day well, announcing medicine today are black holes that
Jim:I love black.
Bobby:I mean, I think Black Yeah, you don't need to be like, you don't need to be pink is gonna be like,
Jim:have you seen a black hole before?
Bobby:Now? Me? I can't find it.
Jim:It's I'm not fetishize. I'm just saying in general.
Bobby:I think black people like even women and like, I wasn't really attracted to black women. Like I think if I was straight, I'd probably be with a black woman. Because I feel like I like their masculine guy. I like their son his movie in the cat. I like their sassiness
Jim:it's Sass and like, I'm like, It's confident. It's sassiness confident. That's
Bobby:what confidence. Ah, if you're gonna come from me, if you're gonna come from me, then you better fucking get ready. Let me just pick a fucking card.
Jim:I'm gonna pick a card. Pick your card on there.
Bobby:I'm gonna pick Carla here. All right, let's go. Now it's time for the weekly Game. What? Dramatic. Okay,
Jim:you do you have any secrets? You keep from me and me? Only?
Bobby:Interesting. I don't honestly like I'll be honest with you. I really do disclose a lot to you. Like I disclose a lot. If you're my friend like I really do disclose a lot. Now.
Jim:Any secrets that you hire me though? particular things?
Bobby:Honestly, I can't I
Jim:guess really? None. Really? None.
Bobby:Do he was here for me. No, I tell you everything I told you about
Jim:now. Exactly. I tell you everything. That's what I was gonna say for me. I couldn't tell you everything for me. When I told you about Hmm, that was a moment where I was like, I have no more secrets. Like that's what I'm saying. So I was like, I was like, I can't tell them we can't even I can't even tell Bobby this. Bobby that.
Bobby:I mean 36 hours later, I have to tell you like I can't literally, I have to tell her. So I honestly think that our relationship is very open is very open like a poly relationship. We do have a very Probably friendship like it's very open. It's very like transparent like, hey, you know,
Jim:I mean, that's God's plan. Your tarot, it's
Bobby:your turn. If someone were interested in dating me, what thing about me? Would you tell them to change their mind?
Jim:Like, if you tell them something that is bad about you sounds like,
Bobby:I'm trying to think like, that's like your fucking rough one.
Jim:I'm pretty like, you can be demanding. I be like, well, he's a little insecure at times, you'd have to support him up and like, build him up. And that's true. That's what I'd be like, at times. You're gonna have to be like a lie. It's true. Yeah, you're not fat. You're cute. You're cute. You're hot. on you, but you think you're just fat. And that's so ugly. Right? And that's the problem. Are you like someone dating you though? My, in the beginning, especially be like, if I would not be attractive, they're gonna be like, are you convincing me? Are you telling yourself that, like, I don't know what to say, like your friends and people know, you're gonna be like, that's just been Bobby like, he's been a true bitch. We obviously know he's hot home. It's true. That's I have to tell them, like, just support him and be like, you're gonna have to give me a lot of insurance. I said, he's gonna say those things, but ignore them because he's being an idiot. That's what I would have to tell them. I like that. And I like him a lot. But I'm not trying to like change your mind. I'm just saying Watch out. He'll tear himself down before he tears, right. Like,
Bobby:don't worry, he'll make sure he ruins this before you can re Exactly.
Jim:It's true. Whether you're not texting him enough or whether you're not like he'll ruin it before you. So don't let them so don't
Bobby:let them stay ahead of the curve. Yeah, that curve plan ahead. curve. Now read the second one.
Jim:All right. Is there an expiration date on our relationship? Oh,
Bobby:remember last time we talked about our last conversation with people so sad. If I'm truthful,
Jim:I will send you to Jesus.
Bobby:I would say like there might be an expiration on like how close we are. But that's just because of life like that. I could move away you can move away like there's not I'm not saying like, there's a moment like I'm not like, I can't wait to slowly fade him out to where it's just a conversation. Everyone's like, no, but it's like I can, I'm not gonna say we are further away if something happened to where like you had a move to move. You know, you had to work all night shifts to work all day. Like if things weren't able to be connected, then yeah, of course, we'd fall apart like it would not be. But at the same time, we do a lot like Sani names and like, my feelings are no. Yeah, I don't think so. either. I
Jim:don't think I think you could live in Timbuktu.
Bobby:Yeah. Honestly. I mean, we've been through it.
Jim:The closest part is a emotional relational part that like, distance wouldn't matter. Yeah. So there isn't. I don't, there's no experts, I'm gonna be like, well, there's never gonna be a time where I'm like this because that's
Bobby:my brother. Just like, I think we do have a very good understanding that we're both kind of messy people in our own ways. And like so when the ones being messy. You kind of like accept them for who they are just in that moment. And just like vice versa, so it might be temporary. Might be a few months, but it might be a while. It might be a few months. And your final question.
Jim:Oh fuck.
Bobby:What have I ruined for you? Oh, no, that's like bad. Like, I don't know, like how I ruined something like, well, first of all my body and you want to blame me for being fat, but you're gonna eat first of all my body? No, that's just an excuse of a personal eating disorder hanging out with a fat person. You're going to start blaming the fat person for making you fat. But honey, I didn't put the rolls in your mouth. What's hot? I didn't put yeast rolls in your mouth baby. Ciao.
Jim:Geet Hawaiian, Hawaiian. Exactly. No other than my body. What has Bobby ruined for me? This is weird. Me being monogamous.
Bobby:I've ruined that would mean ruined it. When
Jim:I met you. I was and now like, I'm not like talking to you. It's like, you're always like, just go for it. Maybe just fuckin Really? Really? Really? Yeah. I feel like you're always one like who's supporting me and being like, you need to just yeah, like if he likes you like you're hot. Do it. And oh, yeah, you're right. Like I should I've ruined monogamy, then. Oh, yeah, fully. I've never. And then I look at you and your partner. I'm like, I would never be monogamous again. Like, ever.
Bobby:I think there's just like a line of like, it's tough though. You've got to be really trustworthy. It's true. And part of the conversation before we start recording. There's some things that you have to always clear always always Oh, well, I was just saying like we I was just so you've got to really almost be overdramatic. You got to wear or you got to work. Yeah. Seven decks. You got to work seven times harder. So much more. Oh, my God, it's so much work. I
Jim:love it. Also, you have to calm down like three different people at once. Like it's terrible.
Bobby:I know. And then here I'm like, hey, when do you want to record you're like I'm trying to find out where all these fucking throwing time
Jim:trying to keep too many romantic relationships. Fine. Yeah, it's rough God.
Bobby:I feel like it's giving me the feeling I would have the feeling if I were you. I don't have it because the sex is so good. I know it just getting the feeling like
Jim:you know Another Coronas over. Exactly how many there's no I don't have a feelings anymore. I will tell you that do I? Have you ever tried to see like, you won't have a feeling? I'm serious. I don't get a feelings.
Bobby:I get weird feeling sometimes like, I don't feel like this is even my house. Oh, why it is though. Like, I just don't feel like I have. Sometimes I get like really uncomfortable. Like, I think I don't have a home at home. Like my dad's new in a new place. My mom's not the place where I grew up. I don't have a home. So I don't have like a home like I'm gonna go back home to my house. I grew up and no, I don't have that. And a lot of people don't but like it's true.
Jim:I don't I don't I feel like I don't. I would never I don't think I don't we're I don't see my parents for months, six months at a time. I don't think of them. I don't know where they are. Like they're in Breckenridge right now, they might come back Friday, they might come back Saturday. Like literally, I don't care. My life is so I think of it so differently. I'm not even bothered by anything anymore. I'm literally just flowing.
Bobby:Yeah, this is where when you get I think it's also nice. Like, there would be things that I think about now that I'm like, that made me so fucking upset. And today I be like,
Jim:oh, yeah, there are so many things where I'm like, Oh, this would piss me off. Or this.
Bobby:It's all it's not a relationship. It's all Yeah, like,
Jim:this is the life we're gonna when I think about my relationship now I'm like, Alright, are we gonna divorce? What are you doing next week? Like, I'm not planning ahead. So
Bobby:I had a moment this week with Michael that we both like, oh, no, not in a relationship. But just like in general. Yeah. No, but like, in general, like you think about it. So I was driving home and I was like, is this? Is this it? Like, am I gonna go every month, every Tuesday, Wednesday and Fridays and pick up Jun from puppy camp? Am I gonna go to work every day from six to five? Like, am I going to just come home and make shitty meals and pretend like I'm losing weight? When I'm not? Am I gonna go? You know what I mean? I'm like, Oh, my God is like, this is right. And it stresses me out. Well, I don't think I love going out. Well, not to me, right. And that's why he is like, maybe this won't be it. But that's what it is. It's not it. Because you're meeting new people. You're like, oh, even if it doesn't even do anything. It's just like, almost like the thrill of it makes it seem like you're living life.
Jim:Like I just saw. I feel like there's more for me. Like there's more for me to do. There's more people to me, there's more things to grow through. Sure. Not just with one person that's for sure. Oh, no. And I don't think again, I if want there's not one person for me, period. Now. I know there is no and I've told that to the people like to the pipe. Sorry. You're not gonna be everything you're not going to be enough is anywhere. Nobody's enough. You are enough in what you are. But in terms of all my needs, in terms of everything that I have everything in my life really everything. You are not enough and you shouldn't be and if you are there's a problem. I don't want you to be well, I don't want you to enough for my entire life. That's so dumb. Well, there's a statistic that says a lie. It'd be a lie a lie. I see so many couples where I'm like, they act like their person that they're with that they're dating or they're married to that's their person. Oh, yeah, they take care of everything I need. Right? Like what what parts of yourself? Are you hiding? What parts of yourself there's lying about because there is no way one person is your everything. No, girl you are lying to yourself, girl. You are fucking lying. You're a liar. And I don't know how many friends it's gonna take to call you out on it. But I will I have friends like that's why I'm like literally looking at them like, Oh, really? Everything's great. Everything's fun. Oh, everything's good.
Bobby:Is that as a and honestly, the more like, we're gonna we're moving to the country. We're gonna have a house that's like, oh, no, it's even worse than you thought. It's getting worse and worse. When you have to actually like public and again, this is like Aaron Rambler or Karen Rambler. Does this she wants to public display her life, honey. We don't know fuck that. You went into the caves of Tennessee like did like look Ruby Falls and shell like nobody to fuck Okay, me. Shout out to Grayson inside out. We had so much fun today. I didn't start shouting out I was a little worried. I was like shouting like made us all go to the Start thing. We all did it and I was scared welcome. But then my partner we lost and he like got mad. And I was like, I but he wasn't mad. He seems he was working. Stop working. It's called I know literally I'm like, Honey, nobody gives a fuck, honey.
Jim:I have to work cuz like I want to go home work. It's smoke. I was like, I don't blame them. There's
Bobby:Well, I'm maybe I should have that's why I'm a little better. He's like, Hi better. I cannot
Jim:I wouldn't be on my couch.
Bobby:I was like, Is that crazy? That like that's just like people do that. I would love to do that to people. And that's what I say.
Jim:The dirt league gets high. Every I can tell they Yeah, even
Bobby:though they're all laid out. I'm like rock up on high. They're not like don't like drunk they're like high Yeah, they're like, Oh, man. Fuck my whole oh god and then you fuck four holes. So Oh, I did not you could. Now I wanted to. So we're also planning our trip. We're gonna skip Dallas though. No offense that our Dallas listeners we really want to see you always want to expense. It's way too expensive. It's too expensive. Like it's too expensive. Go there then all And the train that was gonna take us from Dallas Austin that ended up being like nine hours. So like, wait six, nine, you know, it's going to Austin. The point is the edible were off for you. We can't really I can't go on a train like that. Yeah, we can't so we'll be going to Dallas. We'll keep you updated. And Austin. Alright. Yeah. We're going to Austin. We'll see you there. I'm getting some barbecue on my pussy. Oh, I
Jim:want that. Like smell that tangy sauce on your smuggling my weed because it's Texas. And like, that won't be hard.
Bobby:I don't know, honey. Once you get through Columbus, I've
Jim:seen you, honey, honey.
Bobby:Those are my sleep pills. And they are thank you so much for listening. We hope you have a great rest of your week. Make sure you shout out to your friends that you love them.
Jim:Oh,
Bobby:and Join your local Art League or support your local charity.
Jim:Support your local bag of balls. Literally, but like also is fun support those people that you thought would have caught the people who they're about fives but I think they're 10s Support the twos and threes that turned into fives when they're hanging out with that group.
Bobby:That's amazing. That was an amazing thing to say. Support your support your twos and threes up Have a great week. This has been another episode of not Well, I'm holding my hand up. And I'm Bobby I gotta go I gotta get pissed. Like I feel like
Jim:I'm remember when Todd rubbed my whole for like 30 seconds and then I smelled it as he pulled out and smelled fine. Oh, no, no, this hole is clean right now. Thank you for listening.
Bobby:If you like that I'd be fucking
Jim:awesome every time every time no way every time I would never even talk to you oh yeah, I don't like that song.
Bobby:But you got to do like a muffle. Oh. So
Jim:I hate how some people
Bobby:hate it. Embrace the mass. Embrace the mass. Oh, that's so cute. Embrace the mass. Have a good week. Goodbye. You fucking idiots. Thanks for listening to us.