She's Got 99 Problems and a Bitch is One - Dating Gay & Straight

She's not doing so well. She's not doing so well. Send you questions and get it by is Bobby and bugs. They're really nice with new topics every week because everything and LGBT, she's not doing so well. She's not doing so well. Right.

He had his own ham. Welcome to. She's not doing so well, the podcast that is unhinged and unfiltered but with a side of Sweden.

Funny. Now you're the are Bobby ended buck. Hello. Hi everybody.

Welcome to another episode of She's not doing so well. Hi. Hi Guys. I'm Bobby and I'm here with my best bud. Jim. Hi Guys. I jam jam, jam. Jamma how are you doing this week? Great. Never been better. It's been a good week for you since the last time we were able to speak well, it could have been better because I had to work the entire weekend and missed a certain event, but I got to follow on Instagram. What would that be? A lot of, I wonder what it could have been maybe involving cousins weekend. Yeah, so what the hell was that? I don't even know to be honest with you. I just basically blacked out the whole time and just tried to have fun and smile. No, it was fun. So we have actually, we're going to start a cousins festival. Get ready if you have a cousin friend. By that I mean cousin, friend, whatever that is. Cousin brand, cousin, friend. That sounded so like country boy. My cousin friend. Once a cousin says civil though, we always have these cousins weekends where I have like an itinerary and everything and it's kind of incentive or gets followed. Never gets followed. I mean, no way. This last one was like not followed at all. We're having breakfast now we're having ice cream cake. Yeah, I mean literally there was like so many twists and turns in the weekend. The one thing that was consistent was Friday night we had pizza. So there's that. You should've saw. So we were walking around the neighborhood stapling. She's not doing so well. Signs all over every fucking pole. You're going to be famous locally. We now have awardee listeners. We have 40 listeners. 40 more than 40 more than last week. Yeah, 34 more. Oh, so, oh, sorry. Wow. Oh, thanks. Yeah, so now we have a lot of listener, Ernie, you and just four others where they original listeners. Well, and now we have a 34 more. That's impressive, right? I mean, congratulations Bobby. Congratulations. My best bud. I mean it's duo here. This flame is, I mean really, I mean, I don't want to throw it around, but if the VMA is one invite us next year. Oh yeah, we're not watching that. Oh, oops. Wait. Is that good now? Yeah, it's on. Yeah. Great. Right now. Right now since my feed filled with it and I didn't know why. I was like, well, it must've been last week, Ya know? I didn't even know they had music video. We're like, well, they don't show the music videos, so yeah, I don't really know. I need to maybe turn this off. Sorry to interrupt. Yeah, he's got a personal trainer, had a fan and I'm like one of those Karen fans that you plug into the USC. I'm your screen Alexi. I have my sweaty, yeah. When I'm doing podcasts offline, I'll relax eventually. Tell me more about the cousin festival because I want to plan for this. So we always have cousin weekends and it's a lot of fun and we do all these events and like you do, do find paying jealous. I had terrible nerds. We had like a rave in the kitchen. We had stuff stolen out of the backyard, which is another story. Oh, it doesn't want to talk about that. But we were talking about how a festival, like a music festival called cousins weekend or something like that. Okay. Kind of fun. Like you bring your like a family festival, but like fine, like a backyard cookout. Yeah. But not like a reunion. More like, no, no, no, no, no. A fun like messy mess with your cousins. Okay. Oh Wow. Mess with your cousins. Listen, I used to look at what do you do with your cousin? I have a lot of cousins actually, and they're kind of like my best friends. I know. Yeah. Ins growing up, I would lie to my cousins. I didn't have friends in anywhere. It was siblings and cousins. Aw. Oh Wow. That. Wow. That was kind of depressing. Going to go down that road now, but back to loving cousins, that's a kissing cousins hair on. She's not doing so well. I'm like, God, I'm going, I am from the south, so my major city in the south. Yeah. So it's really not the south. I mean it is, but yeah. Um, yeah, so cousins festival just have like, you know, a couple of bands have the bullet pull up. Yeah. We were actually talking bout having a blow up pool full of alcohol, like making that the cooler drinking. Oh, well the polar plunge public. If people get in it. Yeah. We're not gonna have a pool with about wastes my white claw honey, honey, the whole pole is going to have white claw. Like it's a white club. Me a straw. It's going to be filled with that seltzer water flavor though. Mango. Duh. Yeah, I like mango the best. These other ones I can go down. Yeah. Oh, I got called out for drinking a truly by my friend. Well, I'm sorry, but it's not as good. It's harsh. Yeah. My friend Garish. She's like, how embarrassing. I'm like, excuse me. When I posted the one picture of me in the pool with like the sensor and I'm like, not the one with your tits out. That truly is embarrassing. I'm like, oh, does the rubber ducky around my waist? It really doesn't fit. Or the bitch tits, which more embarrassing? Oh, I truly got it. Got It's the truly, I'm like, okay, whatever flavor was the[inaudible] at that point. I didn't really care. I just thought[inaudible] is grain alcohol because it, the flavors don't matter and truly it's kind of like Dimetapp and like[inaudible] medicine when you were growing up, but like what is the red medicine like? Robitussin. Robitussin. M O DM. Oh, that what is DM and my DM decongestant. Oh, what is DMU and stand for it. I think it's a direct message hit me and my DM with my Robitussin. Yeah, he[inaudible] he slide into my dms. Is it d? Yeah. My same drag message, but I don't know if that's the medicine. Regardless. It tastes like fucking Robitussin. Truly is disgusting, but truly terrible. After you had about seven white claws and you have truly an white clot mix in the fridgerator. It's kind of like whatever. But then the, I got tall white can, I mean I've got it handed to me so technically it's not my fault. Just said if everybody's keeping track. Like when I got Roofie Dat, that local gay bar, that one time I got handed to me. So it's not my fault. It's never your fault. Well, but I like to think that. But you can tell that to the Somali guard at the local hospital when I walked in and was like, I'm lost. They're like we need to hook you up to an ivy asap. Yeah. Three hours later came to so wait, I'm sorry, I got, yeah, I totally got roof EAD. So speaking of that though, this kind of, this kind of like segues that date ray, whoa. Is that an inappropriate word these days? No. No. Cause date rape still happens. No, I didn't get raped. Thank God I checked. But you dated when I came to, I went into the bathroom to make sure cause I'm like, yeah, that was berry. It was scary. Well, I'm not trying to second those from, that'll bad. But back to dating. Dating is the subject of today's podcast. How, what is hearsay that was awful, but I mean it's happened. So good. It's fine. Okay. It's fine. Um, so anyway, segue. So that's cousins weekend. We wrapped it up, blah blah blah. And we're going to do a festival and the festival, the end. And you work so cool. Oh, I'm glad we could catch up. Guess what I have for us now? What street interview. Oh my God. Yes. So during the fun of the cousin's weekend, did you wait every interview? I know we need to look up. I needed a sound by like street interviews. You need Oprah, yellow street interviewing. That's going to be all over. I wouldn't call it singing. Oh I ha. Thanks. Sorry there goes to my career. Stick to the podcasts. Clearly. Hmm. If we can get 40 followers every week, then eventually in 30 years we'll have and advertise wows they on here. They don't even care what advertising. I'm good at math, but um, okay, so why don't we get to the clip? Where was this street interview? It was at a bar. Good. The best place to do like late. I was, oh and I would like to, first of all, this is one of those like your mind, your muff moments or your muffs. We were calling it. Yeah. Ear muffs, ear muff moment. We're warning you. Warning you. Now there's some language in here that's inappropriate. There's some things that divider in the limo we don't want anyone to hear. Yeah. This is like a show time. Late night. Like disclaimer. Like it's p, it's not. It's PG. Not Safe for work. Yes. Yeah. Very good. So let's take a listen to this. Okay. So you agree that you'll be on our podcast? Yes. My name is Kyle Ed. Who was wasn't I'm a power bottom. Power bottom. And how

old are you? I am 30 years old and 30 yes. 30 money younger than you all. Cause you are fucking old. Wait, do I look old? How do you think I am? 31 he thinks I'm older than students in 31 that's great. You're welcome. Thank you. I am, I am 31 exactly. Thank you. And you said you were 30 yes. That's one year. Yeah. So you're gonna be able to be here November honey, you only got a few more months. Me Honey, bitch. So I need you to just tell me, I want to know your craziest sexual experience. So I hooked up with this guy that I randomly picked up off the street. Any fucked me. Wait, so when you say off the street, what do you mean by that? So I was horny and I was driving down the street and I was like, hey. And he thought it was a drug deal and I was like, no. It was in New Jersey. It was in Jersey. I used to live in Jersey for like, oh my God. Wait. So you saw like a homeless guy like, oh, he's hot. I'm gonna fuck him. It wasn't a homeless guy hit him. I hit his own him I house because a strange area and he was straight straight. Oh. Have you ever, ever heard what a bug is? I don't know what that is. Bud is somebody like two straight guys that hook up all the time. They're buds. Well that's me in high school. That's all of us. And I just call, that was me until I was almost 30 that's still me today. Straight. Curious. Hi. And I'm like, excuse me. Oh, are you a bud? Are you a bud? Like are you straight but gay? You're so gay. You're cute as fuck. What does happen? Some guy just walked up and he just totally just went. Okay. One last question. So you said you're a bottom. Of course. What's the biggest tick you've ever taken? I don't really know. So I've never done fisting. What about the most in one? One sitting. Probably like over 1214 inches. I mean, how do you still have a fucking colon? Cause I know how to fucking see me squeezing. Wow. 14 inches is honey. That's like, no, that's like half the real, there's no way. So how big are you? 14 Oh, I'm a six inches. Okay. That's okay. I'm a bottom and I don't want you, that's my thick said don't you ever topped? Yes. You look at me like you said, you've been screaming, you're a bottom and then you look at me like I'm crazy for asking if you've ever taught. So ims, I'm a sexual top and if I want to be a top, like we gotta be in relationship. So the only way you'll still get an a, but as if you're in a relationship. If you're going to get my load, yes, we're going to be willing. Wow. Oh yeah, the low. Okay. Yeah. Yup. You're welcome. Thank you. And do you have anything you want to say to anybody? Let's say, what would you say to the straight community if you could say anything you want them to know about the gay community? Here's what I would say. I would say just take poppers so you can just take a deck. And what would you say at the gay community date? Same take fucking poppers cause there's no dick too big. There's no to thank you so much. Thank you. You're welcome. Can you say she's not doing so well? No, she really is not doing well. Hey, I hit his own him.

Oh my God. He's saying, hey, hey, I can't even say haunt Haim. Hey, he was a fucking character. Sorry. But God, I just, I, if it was a lot like long island effect, I don't know what effect that was. I mean, he came right to the microphone and I was like, okay, we're going with this. And he just, he was interviewing us. Yeah. I felt that way when I was there. I was like, oh my, and us. Jim, you weren't there, honey. God, I wish though, you live vicariously through my street interviews. I pretend like I'm living that life and it feels good. You should, oh, you get to live it now. I know. Just with everyone else too. All 40 of them. Yeah. Um, so yeah, that was our first street interview. Wow. I mean, there's plenty more that came from and it's going to get someone up off. I just said, hey, you want to be on the podcast? And he walked in. He goes, hey. Yeah. And I was like, okay. And then I was like, uh, all right, do you approve us playing this?[inaudible] he's like, yeah, my name is Bev AVAM this. And I'm like, first of all, I thought third, I thought I was old but he's 30 and well I guess I'm 35. He called me 31. So I keep thinking I'm 31 but I'm not, um, 35. Um, so yeah, first street and interview. There it is. Oh there it is. So is that his idea of a date? Like you just drive down the street and pick someone up? I mean, in the gay world sometimes it's like, oh, we had a great, well you can tell us more about that. I mean he's like, he picked me up and pop me. I'm like, oh my God, dude. Thought it was a drug deal. That's your like favorite part or worse. So like he bent over and offered you drugs like drugs, I don't know, get the drugs out of my, he's like, I thought I was getting drugs but then I just was getting fact. It's like, oh my God. And his advice, his advice is not to like love each other, it's to take powders, which I needed. We need to clarify a few things in that segment even know. So poppers are like whippets for straights. Oh yeah, the straight snowing was whipping properly. But even whippets might not be a common term among the young people. Not that we know what the young people do huffing like coffee. Oh Gosh, I don't even know. Yeah. So that's bad. That is bad. That's for another quick way to die while you keep segmenting until the hole back to Lilly have really bagged segments. Like I'm like, oh, I mean, so anyway, bit whippets. And then he also mentioned power bottom. Oh he did throw that in. So I don't think the straighter ever, I didn't know that term until I was like well established in the community. Correct. And they're like, you power bottom like white power, bottom up housing. Well what first of all, what's a top and a bottom? Let's start there. Cause I, I'm telling you, they don't know what that is either. Stop, well, most of our top listeners now, but yeah. Okay. Okay. But same all of them lessons with Jim and Bob. Oh, okay. So a top, a top is a top is the insertive partner and a bottom is the receptive partner. And once a power bottom. Wow. Well that[inaudible] someone who wants to bottom all the time and I think is aggressive. Yeah. Like, like I don't want to get to grab, they embrace it, they embrace the embrace, they embrace it. So in case you're wondering, that's what a power bottom. And so because I think, okay, let's just have a moment. I think there is a lot of bottom shaming in the community and especially, you know, I'm not a girl is what you'll hear. Like I'm not the girl. You don't want to know a girl like being a girl is bad. Well, in this society, apparently it is. So, yeah.[inaudible] fight the patriarchy. But anyways, a power bottom is someone who just throws that off and is like, I don't really care. Yeah. I'm a bottom and I like it and I want to do it, which is, there's nothing wrong. Nothing wrong with it. I mean, you, yeah. Wow. Wow. Power bottoms talking power bi out of malware on your bike, radio, bottom pride, bring your cousins around. Cousins radio 48 45 I don't know what that is. It's not even a radio channel, but whatever it was that Sam. But apparently this guy was a power bottom or is a power bottom and he embraced it and he got a off person, a homeless person, power bottom. God, when he had his aim to aim, he had his own him. And you know what? This is a very sex positive podcasts. So good for him, good for him. As long as it was legal, good for him. Slow clap or whatever. Golf clap good for her. So with that being said, we might as well go into the next thing, which is your idea of a date. I mean, when did you start dating? Like were you dating in Grade School? I mean dating. Grady was dating. I mean dating was like going out like we're going out, we're going to narrow, which means nothing, which means you see each other at school. We have a song to dairy queen. I had a song you did? It was like neon. Oh yeah. I don't even want to say, well I can the neon trees, Diane and Jack and Diane Know Diane was the girl that I was falling out with. Okay. And we had a song, Celine Dion. It was from that movie, Not Titanic, that movie. Um, are you thinking of like a, a body guard and Whitney Houston notes that era though. Wow. What is the song? Big Voices. Celine Dion. Okay. Oh, I can't think of it. This is going to drive me nuts and it'll MD, you know, there's a lot coming back to me. It's all back. No, it's not it. Is that it? No, that's not quite well defined. Fine. So dating Michelle Pfeiffer was in the movie. Oh, come on. And she was in the prison and she was a reporter and Oh my God. It was like a really big song. Was she a nun? Like with the people on death row now? She was a reporter and she ended up trying to report these people in jail. And then there was a ride that broke out and she was in the middle of the chaos. Did she die now? She won an award, but wow. Reported it. And then her husband died and exploitation is the whole, oh he was a reporter as well and he went out to like some killing field and con Cambodia or something and got killed. But I can't think of the song because of you. Oh my God, I can't find it. And I'm going to link it at the bottom. Lincoln in your bottom. Lincoln Lincoln come to me. I'm just shouted. So sorry. It's going to be really that I'm ready for it cause I clearly haven't seen them. I'm really sorry for the two minutes because I just literally, you literally just lived in my head for two minutes. I hope you enjoyed it. Sorry. No, that was awful. That's why there's Lexia and Willie. Well Lexi and Willie aren't working well enough. It's late. You need your white claw. Yeah, that's, that's the new thing. But anyway, so going out with Diane, with Diane, with our song and that's basically it. But that's all going out is about like you're not doing it. Yeah. You can do is hold hands in, that type a big thing. You're not living the rest of your life together. You shouldn't be. And you shouldn't really even think that way. But it was like so dramatic. They do. But you, oh my God, I do remember the drama between, oh, he likes her now and she likes him now. And then like the next week it would be different. They would like, they would switch and then I'm like, Oh, nick likes Chelsea and Courtney likes. Oh my God. Well he didn't go great. It didn't matter. Yeah. There. And you know what else is, none of that mattered. Well, and we need a remind our millennial listeners here a, there used to be like note passing. Yeah, like text messages. So we had to learn past that. We could write notes. Sorry. I mean I'm envious of the text. Like it's real easy. Or Oh, I'm just ghost these days. We'll go into that as well. We've all been ghosted, we've all been ghosted. But yeah, so notes passing, you'd be like, oh, I want to break up, or do you want to go out with me? Yes or no? And it's like, Jesus, you're circle, yes or no. So stupid. So yeah, that was the start of my dating life. It was really exciting. What about you? Did you have a little, um, gosh, I don't remember great school, but I definitely know. Okay. High School, that was a whole new realm, so I was not out, obviously even to myself. Then I remember specifically like no longer hanging out with a friend anymore because they kept pressing me on. So do you like girl? Do you like guys? Do you like girls? Do you like guys? And finally I was just like, I don't want to answer these questions. So you stop hanging out with this person that I'd been friends with for three years. That's what this does. Yeah. You're ashamed of yourself. And so then you lose friends that's in the common thought episode. Just get ready for that one. So anyways, I was kind of dating a girl. I went to like multiple homecoming dance with her prom, blah, blah, blah. I remember one time she thought like, she thought I liked her and I, you know, I thought I did too. So she invited me over to her house. We went and sat in the basement and yeah, like she put on a movie in the breast manner. Parents, you know, no one bothered us. So she like, you know, was pretty close to me and I was just like, am I supposed to like, like this? Am I supposed to like want to hold hands? Right. I don't, you know, now I'm looking back, I'm like, we were like in junior year of high school, like she probably thought, oh, we're making out or like, so like we're holding hands at a minimum and you're like, oh my God, I'm sitting there like, what's this? What do I be? I don't even like it. Like what, you know, I'm thinking who painted that Shit on the wall? Going to be some food or like, wow. I mean, you know that. Yeah. So that was our, our day. And then we went on multiple like Bogdan's Dan stay. Oh we're going to go to the movies. No like prom honey. He just be so scared about the movies cause you have to like, oh the Murray's. Yeah, you go to the movies and you know what you do there. What way? What did you do?[inaudible] it was always about like candies. Yeah. Oh the hand touches like fingering weight that, sorry. Yeah, that was like a thing. Like you would go to the movies and that's like the thing, you'd have to get her. Yeah, you'd have to get a hinge bases that I think that's home base section. That's second. That's a home run in my book. Right. So at the time I was like, oh my God, I don't want to second that. Oh is Kiso wait thirds. Why whirl while I'm home bases like people are weird. Just like shuffle. Why they are obsessed with baseball apparently. Clearly. So you'd go to the movie, you know, white man had to do that. The white man's like, let's, let's name it after the basis. Women's body parts are basically, listen, boys, listen boys, have you ever played baseball? So yeah, we'd go to a movie, two finger. Oh sorry. Style. So I have an update. So right here I found the song but I didn't realize that may be copyright infringement. Um, would be a thing. So I had to cut this out. Um, it was Celine Dion because you love me though. If anybody was curious of what my song was in sixth grade, so check it out wherever you want to, but it's not gonna be played on here because I'm not about to get fucking sued back to the show. I could. Wow. So that's what it's like inside your brain. Yeah, that was bad. Sorry if you've ever seen the movie inside out. It wasn't like that. No, it wasn't cute. I'm sweating. It's just not God. Wow. Okay. Anyways. Anyway, so to you dating, I did high school like shitty. I did, sorry, high school. Undergrad. Shitty. You didn't date an Undergrad? I did. That's when I started dated boys. Well, that's when I like finally came out to myself as like I'm, someone asked me my freshman year at this smaller religious school and I was like, I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to say it. And I told him and he was fine with it and I was like, wow, will hit me. He's from New England. So at that time, you know, one of the more liberal, yeah. Yeah. So not the south. Yeah. That's where I[inaudible] I'm like, Oh God, there's a guy in a row. Yeah. This isn't gonna work. Yeah. But like I was like, fine, I'm just going to say it. They were fine with it. So I, the first date I kind of had like, I met this guy at a party and then we planned today and it turns out he was like a townie and I was under age when I went. He was also 17. I was 17 wow. When I went into, yeah, I was young. I, you're so smart. All the form[inaudible] no, no, no, no. Yeah. Just early. Just too early. So thanks Lexi. Lexi will slow you down. Well, but I like went on a date with him where we were like, we're gonna go to this anthropology party. Oh, for guns off campus. Such a big deal. And you know, like we took a cab because there was no Uber then we didn't cabs. So yeah, we[inaudible] smelled like cigarettes. Oh yes it did. It smelled real bad in a bad era on there was vomit everywhere and no one cleaned it. No. So I remember we went on this date, we went to the party people like, oh his das. And I was like, I don't know. I met him yesterday, you know, like, this is my, and that was my first day as a gay person. How did you feel? Did it make you feel? It felt like good to be like, I'm on a date, right? Like you were finally. I felt great, but like looking back I was like, it wasn't at all consequential. Like it wasn't important, but it happened. But at the time I was like, I'm on a day. Like it felt really good. I never saw him again. Let me tell you that night. Really yet, that night he leaned on one and done. Did you guys like, no, we didn't do anything. Well, I mean we going back to the basis of that to the basis. Let's just send[inaudible] ass foul ball. It was a foul ball. No, no. We went to the movie theater. Oh, we know what happens there. I guess now we do now, but I just remember like he had brought his stuff, he had like had it in the trunk of his car, which was parked in the parking lot, which was a far walk from the dorm room and I was like, I don't even want to walk back to your car right now. I know, right? Yeah. Sunny ways. He laughed. Never saw him again. That was my first date with someone I never saw again. I know the feeling that you had when you had that feeling when you walked into the party and you were like, look at me. Do you remember when did you have that feeling though? Like when you were just like, I'm, I've arrived so I've at least started. I wasn't out. Oh and where I moved to where I'm at now from the south, um, to a more liberal area and I could be myself. So I was, you know, out there on apps and stuff like looking for dots. Yeah, the APPS are there. Yeah. Him, I met him at a party like, like literally the night or the day before. Kind of a drunk. Oh yeah, yeah. Well that was the dorm life. Yeah. I mean you just like a little home judging you. Like it was there too. I'm still there. Yeah. I mean that was like cousins weekend was like already touching party was undergrad. You go to a party, then the next day you go to the party. Then you know the weekend went from like Wednesday night through Monday morning con fortunately. Yeah. Wonder how much damage you've done from those days and our body. Really. You can't even remember a movie after 25 minutes. You have to Google it. Wow. You like are obsessed with that song apparently. But you don't know the name. Really? Sorry about. Okay. So my first date though was I was not out, but I mean this is going to get kind of like sad. Not really. So I met this guy through an app, kind of an app. Tell the truth kind of a website. It was, oh cause there were no apps then it was craigslist. Sorry if you're listening. What? Oh my God, you're having like a real moment. Jeff just had her in gym, just had him over. He's like, wait, this isn't part of the story. It's craigslist doesn't even exist right now. The rate of men seeking mad it did because I don't know if I put up the post or he bought the post, but it was like, hey, you know, new to the area, looking for somebody to watch football with. It was like very innocent. It wasn't, it was fun. It was a bud. So he can't believe what section of craigslist was saying. Be Honest. Oh, like male for mail. Okay. But he put looking for someone to watch football. He was maybe me[inaudible] Undergrad did damage. It was honey. Yeah. I was like, um, but this was not underground. I was 28. Oh, you're totally judging me. It's fine. You don't have a lot of craigslist. I bet you a lot of people want to act like they weren't on craigslist where and you bought a hot tub off craigslist. It's not yet. Um Oh my. But yeah, so we hung out, watch football, we went to s we actually went to like Oktoberfest or something. Got Drunk. I got really drunk. Shocker. That talk should start every story. And so we went up to my house and we like, it wasn't really a date. That's not the date I'm setting him up for the date. So that was a kind of a pho date, but not really. So then we got to chose numbers and blah, blah blah. And so we planned another little date. The, at least that's what I thought it was kind of sash. So we go on this date, I take them to dinner. Oh, I drove, I picked him up in here. You thought it was a date this whole time? This is like, I could date this person. I mean, right. So that feeling that you had though? Like I had candy on your, I walked the restaurant where I'm doing a table for two and I'm like, I have somebody bitch. Like I'd never had anybody. So it was like I'm validated, right? I'm validated finally. Like I feel good and nobody cares cause I'm at a place where nobody fucking cares to be honest, a lot, majority of people, there's still assholes everywhere. I'm so we go on the day, Blah Blah. And I remember at the end I drove him back. We walked around the district that we were in and just like, it was cute. We got back, I was like, can I kiss you? And he was like, yeah, he let me. But you could tell at that point I was like, oh boy. All of course. But at that point I'm already like blind. I'm like already like not lust, but like I'm just totally like, oh my God. So I, well you're in the moment. I'm like, this is your date. I left crying. What? Yes, you could cause I can finally be myself. And I was like, oh my God. That's what it feels like to actually like, yeah, that was deep. Yeah, I know. Sorry to get the, it's a fun, funny podcast, but, so, yeah, no, this is serious like that. I was like crying and I called my, I think I called one of my friends. I was like, I just had a date. Like it's really sad, but like that's what people don't, that's what I want people to hear because people don't understand what it's like for somebody who is stuck in this world of being gay and not being on a date. And then a simple fucking date. So you're playing 16 when you on your first straight date over to McDonald's. Yeah. Now, I mean, going to dinner and driving this person back and kissing him was life. Just like, oh my God. So that's what actually clearly need to come out. Oh, he did just that was that date. Yeah. So I was like, I don't fucking care. Like I'm cloud nine he encouraged me and then I learned about what ghosting was. So he encouraged, he's like, yeah, you should do is I come out and he's like, I'm really proud of you Bobby. I had a really great time, those stupid ass texts at the dad. So we all send each other like, oh, I really would love to do it again. Like I don't talk like that. Never. But you texts like that when you want to seriously loved the appetizers and drinks that we got tonight. I really liked making it to third base at that restaurant. Third base is like, I don't even know. It's the cheesy shit. You're already space in that park after dinner was amazing and now I'm sobbing and I can't wait to do it again. Morning. I had the best day last night. Morning, how are you today? Oh go see no response. Silence. Hi, how are you? Silent. And I'm like, oh, okay. And then he's like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. He's on craigslist the next day. He's like, oh, ready for more? I'm trust me and go. I mean, then I, so then, so then you went to craigslist again? No. Oh, so then I found Adam for Adam. Why are you laughing at me? I'm trying to actually with, I'm living my truth right now and I don't really care what anybody says. Cleveland where clearly, clearly, clearly Craig's looks confidential. Alive. It's like at least Adam for amz. A real website. Yeah. Like, excuse me, credible has been killed on Adam for Adam. I mean the craigslist killer. I mean I had a lot of safety procedures, like I had to be able to find you on Facebook, so don't worry. I was safe every time. That wasn't getting killed on craigslist. No, I was, Nah, no, not yet. Not yet thing. They took it away. Just kidding. I'm in a happy relationship. I'm not on craigslist.[inaudible] it was sincere. It was, um, anyway, so god, this thing, sorry. Um, so yeah, so then I went to him for him. I would see him on there. I found his profile on Adam for Adam. Like after he ghosted. Yeah. And then I'd see when he was online. So I would be like, this is, I'm really being serious, right. When this is when I hit my psych out. So this is when I was like, so in a dating life, I'd be like a 13 year old, right? Because you've never done it. So I'd seen him on, I'd be like, well, I know he has his phone. Hey Blah, blah, blah. How are you doing today? What do you do? You want to come? You know? It was so pitiful and it was like I would cry because I was like so upset about, yeah, it was bad, but it was good because I needed that to accept who I was. Yeah. So well it, yeah, because I, maybe this traits go through that too, and we just, I don't know. I think they're just so, but they're at the age where it's appropriate to be psycho socially excepted for them to do it and be a little crazy about it and set it yourself. How like Cindy broke up with Billy and bullies. Now it's the next day, it's another and it's just like, aw, well it's okay honey. It'll get better. You have, you got your family supporting you about it. All your friends are going through the same thing. So they're supporting it. Meanwhile, you're like being secretive. You're going on fucking websites like see? Yeah. Yeah. And so I wonder, you were crying, right? And then that's why I'm telling now. It's pretty sad. So if you're crying, I'm sorry, grab a tissue. I should have a tissue warning now too. Tissue tissues. That's a real set. Yeah, that's a weird story. Wow. Um, so that's what prompted me to come out to Courtney though, which you heard that in[inaudible] that another episode she knew all along. That's the funny part.[inaudible] I mean, yeah. Um, so then what is your next dating experience? So what, when did you finally have like a real tangible and actual like longterm sorta going? Yeah, like relationship. Okay. Well I think I, like, I just moved to the city I live in now, which is a little bit of a more liberal city. Ish. And I mean ish. And I met this guy named Adam and Adam for Adam. No, what not Adam[inaudible]. Adam. No, I was at a club. Excuse me. I'm a classy, I'm classy. I, what is that? Club calls at clubs. I was like, well this, I mean it's kind of a club. It was like two thousands. It's fine. It was odd. The club was on a street where there are multiple bars that only like college age people go to. And I was well at outside that range, but you know, my friends and I went there. This is where I started playing 50 cent in the club, but I don't want to get, uh, sued. So sorry, here's another little mistake, but this is the last one I did. Thank God. Ugh, here's the show. Wow. Though that might have been the song. I'm not a hundred percent sure. It was like you earlier with saline. Like is that the song I, oh wow. We're now living in malware. In my mind it's, it's a little bit slower. Terrifying. Jim's head is, yeah, Jim's head is scared of that. Like mine. It's fine. Um, so yeah, no like that music's playing and I'm like dancing. All of a sudden this guy like comes over and gets in front of me and you know, it's like, oh Granddad, I've seen you dance. Jim, what kind of moves were you doing? Wow, I'm sorry, that was a little bitchy. It was a little shady, but I want to know what your moves were your hands on your knees or was it on craigslist? I'll tell you that. Oh Wow. You don't have an essay. Yeah. Yes. So yeah, we, after that he texted me. Turns out he's a pastry chef. Yeah. Which has its pluses and minuses. Not a lot of minuses except for the wait game. The pluses are your best size pants. Seriously. I mean, sorry. I mean I'm talking 10 pounds later. I was like, do you want a date? He was like, I'm a boyfriend. I had a lot of croissants. And then I was like, okay, I'm ready to go to third. But I was like never. I mean, he was of the of the twink variety and like much younger than me. You want to explain what a twink goes. Oh yeah, that's true. I can't just throw you do real quick. We'll do another episode that explaining all the gay names in the world. We do a good idea. That's a good, we gotta educate Cha. You got to get educated so that you can educate us. Thank you. Oh cool. I can come with these one liners. I know it's like put it on a shirt. So I don't know. It was just not the best. I mean it lasted like nine months, but I was never really into it. It was a nice guy. I just wasn't really attracted to him, which is, but you know how like, okay, but after you're in a relationship for like a month or so, you're like, it's, it's happening, it's happening. So I kept it going and then I feel bad about this part. I somehow convinced him, he lived kind of far away, like a good, good 25 minute drive plus. And I was like, what if you lived closer? Like maybe that would help. He knew he moves doc. I don't eve, I don't even know if he could afford to, but he moved. So this guy moves[inaudible] his whole life for me and we broke up like a month later or less. I know I didn't. Yeah, I told myself I did. I liked. I liked my key. My craigslist confidentials are behind now. This is worse. You're a mental trauma. I'm not that. I'm a bad. Wow. I mean I may and I can't help it. Well, it's okay. We all live and learn though. I mean honestly couldn't help it. I ghosted. She's gotten high nine problems in a bitch has one. Oh my God, you're the bitch I think. Are you? Yeah. Sorry. Good. It had to end. I'm not the bet. You're not a bitch. It's just I was the bitch. It just happened sometimes. You know what I mean? Like sometimes you get into something, I mean will happen to you after you. Yeah, I talked to guy on Adam for Adam. Then there was another one that I met on craigslist. Hey, I need to know seriously, we start getting too good. I met a lot of hot, like normal people on craigslist. I'm sorry, I didn't, what does normal mean when I say normal? I mean like have a job, like aren't on math, like stuff like that. Where did you meet? That was a car math. Probably. I'm for Adam, but uh, that's a good gay inside joke. Like all the streets are going. Yeah. Adam floods and Adam for addicts. We have about, is it still around 30 of our 40 listeners are straight girls. Yeah. Great. Got a love on God. Love him though. We love the straight. They literally got us through life. Seriously. We wouldn't be here if it weren't for the straight girls. True. Now they've taken over our bars, but anyway, anyway. Wow. Another transition. We're real pleasant tonight. Yeah. Well, so I met this guy on craigslist. He was great. Hottest Shit. Amazing. Like person, like person. He was a good person. He really was. But he, you know, he lived a little bit away from me. He lived like 20 miles out. He's more like a country boy. Oh God. Oh boy. So of course.[inaudible] I'm here for it. Right. So we started talking. He was all about me and I'm a bear. Like full listeners. I'm a big boy. Oh, they've seen you on instant. I know you are. They've seen your bitch tits out. I had my, don't you want to call him that? I had my tits out this weekend. But you caught him bitch. She wanted their honey. Oh No, I'm not worried about all this. Like wow, boy am I meeting side-eye over her Lizzo cause she lives, they'll be eating. Yes. Yes. Love her. Is that her last name? No, that's her insta handle. Oh, sorry, I didn't, while someone doesn't know that I just listened to like that one part. I took a DNA test, like not say lies. Oh my favorite part. And then Botanica yeah, you need to like follow her an Insta. But so I mean he was hot, but I wanted it in country and country accent and we talking and he worked for the police department. Oh yeah. And Mike Drop, I'm talking hot. So UNICEF, so uniform. He worked inside. He was in black hair, uniform, jail. Like he worked around that. Anyway, handcuffs. So we would, we would go on these little dates and I thought there were dates again, but then I was like, no, I'm not getting into this shit again. Like I'm not gonna be fooled by this. But I fell hard, hard. And he was like falling to no. Yeah. But he's like, so finally one day we had probably seen each other like 10 times and that doesn't, that's not a lot. I mean really if you know about it, it was over a span of like four months maybe. Like it was not a lot, but it was like there's a lot of like, oh my God, you just laughed at me. But it's true. Nobody, it's not like a lie. This is where your mind came into play. Right. So this is where the Bobby might, you know. Right. And so I'm not like, Oh God, yeah. Like oh my God. Like, and I would, oh my God, I'd walk around the neighborhood waiting for his texts cause he was like one of those people that wouldn't text. Like I need communication. That's something I need. So I'd like go and walks like, oh my God, I got to go on a walk cause I can't get my phone anymore. It was bad. Oh my God, I know his dad. Okay. So then finally he came to it. Can you go ahead where it came to a point where it was like, shit or get off the pot literally. And he basically, I was like, what are we doing here? Blah, blah, blah. And he's like, listen, I'm moving away from here and I'm, I can't be this and my parents will never accept me. I, and he would say stuff like, um, have you ever thought about just like not being here and just like, no. Basically like, yeah, like, and I'm like, call the cops on a cop, right? I'm like, dude, you're like a good person. So anyway, I went into this whole like, saga of lifetime movie, like some like, I mean, I was like, we can make it work and all this stuff. And then, and then so I was heartbroken. That was like my, I mean, I was heartbroken, but even there was only like 10 times. Like for me, that was the first like connected. It's a lot. I mean, that's, so a lot of times when I think about all the date, right? I mean it was like, and they were dates, they were like sleepovers. Oh God. Now I know. Well, and now I know you were at the movies. I was beyond the movie and that was the first time I had been beyond the movies. That's the other problem. That's not strong. I'm like, really? I'm really, um, cleanliness. What's the word in that? Cleanli you're not, I'm a virgin. Virgin, virgin. Oh no you're not. I was like, yes. Had been reconsecrated cause you are not a virgin. You weren't in this story and you weren't before or after. Oh honey, I was oh, Oh, before that you were a good boy. I mean I was good at, to a point to add, but um, so yeah, so that's what, that's my date. So that, then I went on this whole like, I, this is what I need in my life. I need this, this and send me the list. Then you presented the list of everyday you went on. Like if you don't meet these criteria. No, I'm not fucking kid. Oh, I'm gonna fucking wait. You had a list. It's still in my wallet. I Ho so do you know the universe? Have you heard of the secret? I mean, I've heard of the universe, but I don't, what's the secret to a book about the universe and how all like attracts like and blah, blah, blah. Marianne Williamson[inaudible] psychic and kind of like, where's the psychic energy? I mean, wait, so what's the secret? What is, so the secret is you got the t what you want you put out there and, and it comes back to you sometimes, but not all the time. But like, I mean, I wrote like literally what I wanted, like, well, he likes beefy, communicates everything, like everything. It's still in your wallet. So I don't know if the universe is noticing, oh no, it's in my, my special box.[inaudible] that what we're calling it now. I'm like, God, I can't say I can't say any box. So anyway, I had, so I wrote all these things down and when I met my person, you literally, he has all it in your wallet. It's still my wall as a reminder of like, oh, I thought it was still in there because like no one has met them. Oh, no, no, no. He's still trying to tell, you know, literally him. It is him to a t like it's not, I don't want to show the list then. Oh, oh, I'll read it. Hey, you should. Okay. It's not bad. It's good. We've been[inaudible] layers now. Thank you. Yeah, we met actually five years ago. Oh, this weekend. You just like, he just hit you. He did. It was wait this past weekend or this coming coming good. I was like, you, it, you forgot it. Every weekend we met five years ago. Cue at a bar drunk at 2:00 AM oh Shakur. Another story drunk. Wow. All drunk at a bar when you know it's your person, you know, I guess you're in a stairwell and you know, I mean don't act like you're not hitched honey. Not yet. Just engaged. Met Him at the gym. Quite a drink. Quite a different story. First Time I saw him was at the gym, like on an elliptical and I was like, who's that Daddy? Stop it the, Yep. He was on an elliptical next to one of his friends who happened to know and I was like, who's this guy? And then like, I think he'd led with like, he's a lot older than you and it was like, oh, how much elder? I like Daddy's. It's fine. Yeah. I was like, it's literally it. Yeah. So you met your special, someone drunk at a bar? I was at the gym. I wonder who has a 16 minute the gym gym at the gym. Bob at the bar. At the bar. Well, so dating dating's a dating's a bitch. This is gonna be a hard title is a title. This like, there's a lot of one liners in this one. I, I think I've picked, I've picked what I like. Yeah. What I picked, what I like and I'm still with them. Stick with it. Yeah. I mean it's great relationship for great. Yeah. I mean, dating was a bitch date an hour. And hast it honestly, we just sold our dating stories, but in reality, like they're not all like that at all. I have good dating stories. Really good and really bad. Well, yeah. And honestly, I would love for somebody to call in and leave a message on it. Your worst dating experience or your best can't be worse than the street interview. Like if you're picking someone up and they thought it was a drug deal like that. No, I mean, I mean come on. That's such a hot date. But he had his own name. Is that him? But yeah. Dating's a bitch and just try to stick in there and stick it in there. Stick it in there. I promise you we're not drunk either. This one either. But the sad thing is we've had one one white claw. Like I'm just so skinny that I get lightheaded. No, after one. All follow the point. Thank you. Um, yeah. Points. Wait, watch, roll scene. We'll have an episode of all your points. Yeah. No, you don't want to know half the shit you eat is like Bam. Wow. Too many points. 20 points. But anyway, we've made too many points tonight. Yeah, this is a thing. You're welcome. Thank you. Thank you for a longer episode. I can't speak. I think I might be stroking honestly. I don't really know. He's probably cause that fucking song. Uh, and oops, I lied again. That was another episode of She's not doing so well. Unfortunately. I had to cut out the very end because I decided to play the song as well for the closing. Um, whatever credits like an idiot. So, um, thank you for listening. My best bud. Jim is not here obviously cause this is in the editing room, but we will see you next time. Thank you for listening. Check out our links and all the fun stuff down below and subscribe and share it with all your friends. Thank you. Bye Bye.

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