Smoke Em If You Got Em (Surprise Conversation, Work Meetings, Sex, Porn, Flaccid)

Unknown: 0:00

If we are all created in the eyes of God and the body of God, we are finding that there was a man and there was a woman but find that if you see yourself as other it's just a choice. It's something that we have programs for. And we're able to enter you in those programs and that might be something that you want to look into. I think I may be homosexual. Okay, now I know where to go with you.

Bobby: 0:26

Welcome to She's Not Doing So Well, comedy podcast featuring Bobby. I don't want to be viral. I want to be inspirational and life changing. Because Listen, I'm at GE

Jim: 0:41

gym at the top. What can I say? Finally he's just like you can unfollow me if you don't like my body. The Ms.

The Miz: 0:48

Oh my God tell me all about your brain. But you like mushroom shape?

Bobby: 1:00

l That's disgusting. Hello, everybody and welcome to another episode of She's Not Doing So Well. I am Bobby.

The Miz: 1:07

And I'm I am Jim. I am the men's What the heck is going on?

Bobby: 1:12

It just sounded really like newsy. I was like I am Bobby and I am Bobby tonight. I don't know why. You would think after 80 something episodes that the opening wouldn't be such a fucking struggle. But here we are. We're up to 80 am damn girl. Damn, well, yeah, actually, we're past 80 because we're on season five and each season has 20 Wow. How many episodes is gay propaganda have 19 and their seasons aren't numbered right? And they have new hair color and new like shit now by are they up for the Columbus podcast awards? I don't fucking think so. mid season a mood.

The Miz: 1:46

Haim is high. Wait, I do we start. Welcome to the show.

Bobby: 1:54

That's all just welcome.

Jim: 1:57

I thought you were ready like 20 minutes ago. And here we are.

Bobby: 1:59

Are you drinking like sweet tea out of a photo of vase. It's

The Miz: 2:03

green tea.

Bobby: 2:04

Oh my god. It looks so good. To me.

Jim: 2:06

It looks like when you put flowers like a 64 that is like old flower water right there.

Bobby: 2:12

It looks really good to

Jim: 2:14

foul. It looks sick.

Bobby: 2:16

Oh, like you take the roses out. Brown. brackish water green tea. Green tea is like leaves. Right?

The Miz: 2:23

It's blueberry flavored so it's a little bit darker. Oh, I love like it dark. It's blueberry slim life.

Bobby: 2:32

What hell? Is this supposed to help you lose weight? Or is it just all green

The Miz: 2:35

tea helps you lose weight. But as it Yeah, your metabolism? Well, I

Jim: 2:40

can't wait to see you next week, then you'll be really funny.

Bobby: 2:42

You know what medical specific

The Miz: 2:44

one lot.

Bobby: 2:46

I need you to send me a link. But my coworker told me that if you wrap your fat in saran wrap, he did this and they did this in the military. That if you it'll like, go down. If you do it for like an hour or for a couple hours before you have to do something. All your water weight from that area will be gone.

Jim: 3:01

Yeah, that's what a waist trainer wrestlers do that. Okay, sorry, I guess I didn't know. Excuse me. Sorry. When the wrestlers lose weight for an event. They just put like trash,

Bobby: 3:12

right? They send it. It's like a little localized sauna on your body.

Jim: 3:16

Yeah, it's like a waist trainer or in the military that need to wrap in.

Bobby: 3:20

Because they have to do like PT. So if they need to lose five pounds, if they don't hit like the weight, then they would do tape it's called. So they measure your waist. So if they go to the tape, and you have no fat though, you can get rid of some of that fat you need to so you do it before way and then you rip it off in your way. I've been so much fucking trouble.

Jim: 3:40

Well, you would be getting fucked probably every night. Which

Bobby: 3:43

PS like I'm on the verge of asking my coworker about sexual stuff in the army. Yeah, I'm not there yet with him, but he's very open. So I think I'm gonna ask him one day I'm gonna ask him if I can. Shower jerks. Like I want to know the truth. Like it's no judgement. Like, I need to know if you guys jerked off together or not. Did you blow

Jim: 4:03

they had to there's no room the beds are open the bathroom.

The Miz: 4:06

Fucking some like little Vietnamese civilian. Well, this isn't. This isn't Vietnam. I didn't know if you were talking about when you were growing up? Yeah.

Bobby: 4:16

Oh, okay. So you just turn that into an ages. You literally just tried to turn the old fat fuck. Got it. Got it. Well, do you want to get into it? Like let's just go Welcome to bareback with Bobby. On the news, Bobby, I am literally Bobby.

The Miz: 4:56

Oh Christ.

Bobby: 4:58

I have some really fun stuff to talk about. I was just in Atlanta. It's warmer in columbus ohio than it is in Atlanta. Also, I learned that the police in Atlanta aren't showing up to car accidents anymore. So I felt real safe while I was there like apparently they just don't show up and there's an app now that you like report things that's how you do your police reports. If it's not like a murder I

Jim: 5:20

just got shot I'm alive but I got shot like good

Bobby: 5:22

go to the hospital reported on the ATL app. It's like what yeah, it's bad I guess like they really funded the

Jim: 5:29

fully defunded.

The Miz: 5:31

Like how did you learn this information then you get in a car xo but my friend Sarah will

Bobby: 5:35

get shot. I did get shot. I got shot in the leg and I was like, I'm fine. And they're like, good. Just report it. Okay. No, my friend Sarah was telling you about it. She follows some like ATL something they tell you all the like murders that are happening around the area. I guess it's gonna like Who the fuck is Sarah? Sarah? My friend Sarah.

Jim: 5:52

Sarah doesn't answer any of the question.

Bobby: 5:54

Okay, she's my now I know her know what? I don't know how to explain it to Sarah. It's my show. She's a haircut girl. Or what are they called? girl She's like a hairdresser to like. Like, they all do.

The Miz: 6:14

usually that means they're ugly. She's not

Bobby: 6:16

ugly at all. fat. No. Now she used to be chubby

Jim: 6:22

she's from the south. Yeah, wow. Oh, she's

Bobby: 6:25

cool as far as all those biscuits

The Miz: 6:28

only with she made it she made it yes she's survived she's she's the one that got away from the south has their

Bobby: 6:36

song called like the one that got that got away. Yeah, by that bitch Katy Perry. Oh, I do love that song

Jim: 6:44

of Pixie cuts like they're speaking of fireworks. Oh, baby. You're a firework.

Bobby: 6:52

Which can we cancel fireworks? Yes. I

Jim: 6:54

think it's really dangerous and someone died here a goalie for hockey

Bobby: 7:00

for I love how you're like for sports sports. In the gym, I want to say a really good story that that happened me in Atlanta. So I went to see my sister. And my nephew is seven you have a sister. I'm just wondering when you're gonna actually put some effort into being my friend. I really didn't know you had. I know you haven't. You have a failed mom technically somewhere in their life. A mother whether it's in it or out of it. I came out of a robot's uterus. That's next though.

The Miz: 7:33

I didn't realize that. Yeah. Are you are you older or younger, but

Bobby: 7:38

I act younger. Oh, she has three kids, though. Three. I have three nephews. So when visited, it's very a lot of work. Trust me. I'm like, Oh, I don't know how you do it. Now. I

The Miz: 7:47

couldn't. Yeah, I kill my seven

Bobby: 7:48

year old nephew. We're sitting at dinner. And he looks at Mikey, which they call Mikey and says,

The Miz: 7:56

Do they understand that you're

Bobby: 7:57

going man? He goes Are you a TA are you guys? gay? Are you friends? are like are you guys just frat? Are you guys friends? And Michael's? Like, yeah, we're friends. He's like, but are you family? And so I was like, Yeah, he's family. And I was like, Oh, god, I'm looking. I'm like turning red and getting really nervous and look at my sister. Like, does he know like,

Jim: 8:19

Do you get it? Like,

Bobby: 8:20

do you know what road we're going down right now? Like, do I need to panic? Like, what do I need to do? Is it time like, I've been waiting for this conversation forever. I was like, oh god, this is it like, and so then Rachel goes well, Hey, be your uncle like when they get married. When that's a big win. So my nephew says, You guys are old. Why are you married?

Jim: 8:42

And fucking he's right, though. You're like 40 and you're not married? Right? Right. That's like, are you okay?

Bobby: 8:49

He's like, what's wrong?

Jim: 8:50

And I supposed to get married when you're 16?

Bobby: 8:52

And I feel like my mom almost cried during that. I don't really know why. But it was like a very, like, it really showed me that the kids really don't give a fuck like I'm worried he's gonna hate me because I'm gay. And he's like, you aren't married? You loser. Yeah, like, oh, okay, cool. You're old? Well, first, he was like, that's great. That's fucking great. is probably right. I said actually, when you're 5157 you'll be 27 because we're like sevens.

The Miz: 9:17

My heart You know, I was just so warmed. I've had a great change of heart now my fucking

Jim: 9:23

well we need to get him out. Oh man, so yeah, we need to get out of God's got sucked into the deep dark depression of New Hampshire. Have any?

The Miz: 9:31

I'm fucking serious. I'm holding this rabbit.

Bobby: 9:36

To another back. Hey, Jesus. Wait This basket every time you come home. She got you going? I mean, does she make you a rabbit basket every time you come home.

Jim: 9:46

Bitch. Yes. Is Jocelyn Okay, gay. I don't think she's okay. Oh, my God. She bought you this for you a penguin. Oh, I

Bobby: 9:58

love this one. I think she is so Sweetheart,

Jim: 10:02

baby to sweet.

Bobby: 10:03

She's like we got to get you fancy don't kill yourself.

The Miz: 10:07

I think she wants

Bobby: 10:08

to fat me up put me in a stairway and you know what? I think that'd be a good way for you to go.

The Miz: 10:12

Honestly. Yeah, put me a second. jacket. Sounds fun and eat You're right. And I have to, like boil. Like they're like

Bobby: 10:25

boil you? Yeah, lobster boil. It's gonna be like a low boil like so it's like we can sit there for a second like this is fine and then all sudden you start like really heating up.

The Miz: 10:33

Right? And then I start like,

Bobby: 10:34

Diana put some butter on you and suck. Yeah, that was my big story from my trip. I mean, that's the breakthrough. I had a breakthrough was like kind of cool. Yeah, I was like, Oh, this is really nice.

Jim: 10:44

You're like, Oh, they don't really care. So I'm worthless.

Bobby: 10:46

Right? And I'm like, worried he's gonna hate me. I'm like, he's gonna know I'm gay. And like, he's gonna judge me and he's like, judging me because I'm old and not married. So cool. So yeah, so great. I feel fucking wonderful. I'm like my game and fucking Kelly.

The Miz: 10:57

Mikey. Are you gonna engage? Like, yeah, wait, yeah, when are you married? I mean, we are we

Jim: 11:03

are not. We are like what have to do document.

Bobby: 11:06

Hey, are you married?

Jim: 11:07

I'm about to be this year.

Bobby: 11:08

I got it. Cuz you've been

The Miz: 11:10

like, what's the deal with both of you?

Jim: 11:12

I don't know. We tried in December and the way it was three months to go to the courthouse. And so I was like, if I'm gonna wait three months to go to a courthouse. I'm just gonna do a small family event scheduled.

The Miz: 11:24

Oh, am I invited? Or like Yeah, yeah,

Jim: 11:27

I'm gonna have friends too. I just don't want it. I don't have to like everyone like I don't want to have to invite Bobby Michael

Bobby: 11:34

just close friend because knowing you you're gonna make it like a fucking Indian wedding and be paraded into the fucking city.

Jim: 11:39

I'm coming in on an elephant and Bobby is not the one

Bobby: 11:45

you're fucking god. Sorry. Yours so sorry. about last time I want to give everyone an update it's let's talk about still the word I have to get

Jim: 11:56

it tomorrow and I'm terrified

The Miz: 11:57

Oh, this just in its way oh my god guys. No you can you can I spent all of July 3 reading the Wikipedia pages what each 911 flight and I can't You can't wait what?

Bobby: 12:10

What just happened? We watch as you read Wikipedia nine 911 flights Lord like who was on it and yeah, shit like that. Oh,

Jim: 12:19

yeah. Are you like freaked out the fly now? Just Saudis.

The Miz: 12:22

Yeah, I'm freaked out. I like read their whole commute from Portland, Maine to like Boston. Oh my god, like,

Bobby: 12:29

dark. You're dark. You're like an independent state. I decided to read about the Twin Towers. It's like, Okay. I know. I did. And I feel so sad for you. So yeah. I'm fine bitch, because I'm telling you they all cut you off. Nobody knows how to read their past like nobody knows like, my nose. I'm like, Mitch, we have seats this bitch comes carrying chick fil a up to the thing and she tries to check in and the flight attendant lady goes, your B 47. We're at b1 and she turned that bitch try Yes. I love that people with families are like trying to get down to like, you don't have early boarding you have family which is between A and B so back actually it was bad. So God bless it

Jim: 13:12

off I just want people to learn the rules like if I know people

The Miz: 13:15

are fucking idiots, but that makes me so happy because everyone I like what everyone's an idiot because then I'm like,

Bobby: 13:20

yeah, it makes you feel normal. But then it also makes you feel really sad because you're like, wow,

The Miz: 13:23

this is most of them. That makes me feel fucking America rare

Jim: 13:26

lady had aboard a plane, and I'm not trying to be classist, but like they don't know how to do a lot of things. It's not just boarding a plane and board a plane like they border. I go to like a grocery store. I'm like these people don't know how to form a line. Right? Don't know what line is. They don't know how to wear a mask right?

Bobby: 13:41

But we're gonna listen to them on Tick Tock. Tell us how the vaccines killing us in two to five magnetised. You just watch and I'm like

The Miz: 13:51

I have some bad news. My boss is gonna call me in five minutes like

Bobby: 13:54

for a long talk? Like

The Miz: 13:59

I don't know I don't think so. We have plenty

Jim: 14:01

of alcohol so I'm really waiting.

The Miz: 14:02

She's she says she says five minutes and we'll call then she says smoke come if you got um

Jim: 14:09

I don't. So we should go smoke. Also just a puff. What are you smoking if you have if you're smoking?

The Miz: 14:19

I don't know. I don't know what that is like cigarettes. Welcome if you got him like literally don't want that should take five minutes and we'll call smoke them if you

Bobby: 14:29

got and you look up what smoke my feet gotta mean it's talking. So I feel like she's gonna have to finish the quarter like she's gonna be like, we've got to just throw this paperwork away and we'll find it next year. We'll do an audit later.

The Miz: 14:46

That's honestly a perfect minerals, minerals. I literally have to go to fucking

Bobby: 14:52

miserable with laugh. Breaking News.

Jim: 15:00

This has a meeting

The Miz: 15:06

Okay, I'm I'm pissed about everything right now and I'm literally sweating like the like the crevasse sac is drenched and I want to fucking die.

Bobby: 15:15

You know what's funny I'm seeing you're like, Okay, you're serious stress. Yeah, just like your fake bullshit like,

Jim: 15:22

actually stress because you're really stressed sober and stressed.

The Miz: 15:25

I am sober. I'm dead suck fucking sober. I haven't had a drink since motherfucking Thursday, Monday, Tuesday Thursday. Oh my God.

Jim: 15:36

He's in withdraw.

The Miz: 15:37

I literally I've been scheming to get my dad to drag me back like early so I can get back to like my like, my like kingdom which is just like my apartment, my hookah my alcohol my freedom back to my life. Like, um, give me back on my life. I'm so like, I don't need

Bobby: 16:01

like, my mom is even getting to the airport. She's like, here you need this. I'm like, Where's my fucking candy? I don't care.

The Miz: 16:09

But I was explaining to bubbles I am like I for the last couple months have been just like an ATM like like hemorrhaging cash. And I have just like to like, like, put a screeching halt on my spending. So the longer I stayed here, like that was the plan to like, you know, continue not spending but I don't know if it's worth that. I also pulled a fucking pine needle out of my laptop up. Oh, where the fuck

Bobby: 16:38

do you have pine needles?

Jim: 16:42

New Hampshire woods. Yes, it

Bobby: 16:43

was there. Yeah, I figured Oh, is it really? No. Yeah. Like it's like a pine trees.

The Miz: 16:49

Yeah, I don't I mean, there's like other areas that aren't by living but like regular

Jim: 16:54

trees. So

Bobby: 16:54

you live in like the forest? Is Jocelyn a witch? Yeah, like a fairy which maybe you should get Jocelyn to sit down while you're on your meeting. waiting. Jocelyn

The Miz: 17:05

now she's all fucking stressed out because I lost her wedding ring. But we found that we found it we found it how do you lose weight? First of all, why

Bobby: 17:13

did she even hand you the ring because I would never

The Miz: 17:17

she did it. Okay, last night we were hanging out in her room. And she like took her wedding rings off to like go to bed and I came in like a tractor and then I was sort of like rummaging all around her drawers like looking for like all this stuff that I wanted to keep and you knocked and I like knocked half of her jewelry into like this other drawer by accident but I don't remember that I did that.

Bobby: 17:39

So then she's like, Where's my because

The Miz: 17:40

you're sober has owed me a Winnie the Pooh watch for like, like 20 years I want that

Bobby: 17:47

Yeah, she went searching

The Miz: 17:48

so I went searching for it. Because I want to build Oh, right. Because I want to sell it and then I went on eBay and found out it retails for 799 nothing Oh King.

Bobby: 17:57

Thank you wait 799 or $7 now it's $7.99

Jim: 18:02

from McDonald's like as a kid right?

The Miz: 18:04

Like Okay, basically no, I got it as a gift for being a ring boy. Oh ring. Like way back in the fucking day there are ring bearer was

Bobby: 18:16

gonna be a conquering bear.

Jim: 18:20

Oh, I'm gonna go throw up. Now it's so gracious discussing. Yeah, imagining you want to talk ring.

Bobby: 18:26

Oh, first of all.

The Miz: 18:29

It's really rad. Actually, I think I just couldn't think a Cochrane in general is kind of cringe

Jim: 18:35

AI Not not today weighs me like hey, I'm 55 and I got like an erection anymore

The Miz: 18:40

via only party I'd accept in a cock ring is myself. Yeah, I wouldn't want to play with someone else.

Bobby: 18:47

I'm not trying to inflict misery with Ms. And maybe we don't even really we're just like mixing segments but I

The Miz: 18:51

have a question right because I gotta meet honey czar starting right now.

Bobby: 18:54

Now. Like what are your thoughts on your flaccid penis?

The Miz: 18:58

Disgusting it's tiny. Grow or not grow or two so I get

Jim: 19:04

a shower. So you're just there? I'm just

The Miz: 19:07

like a micro p

Bobby: 19:09

smaller erection. Yeah, I rather a bigger flask.

The Miz: 19:12

I kind of have that right now. I like it the other way.

Bobby: 19:16

So I'm going to a campground and we're like and I'm like how do I like make sure I'm always like left like a little fluff. Like I'm not I'm like I'm not fully off but like I would like to just have a little fluff.

The Miz: 19:28

I think you'll be like a good percentage erect most of the time I would be maybe not 100% You're just like

Jim: 19:34

a little bit and there's got to be one attractive person around

Bobby: 19:37

there. I've been like looking at pictures online there's some like

Jim: 19:40

hot people that go there. Take me with you. I live in your city without Oh,

Bobby: 19:44

I'm sorry. Oh, my God. Let me cry real quick while you go to Mexico, you dumb bitch. Like always straights. That was a choice. You didn't have to go and you could go with me.

Jim: 19:52

I was forced.

The Miz: 19:55

Why I wasn't invited either trips or fuck you guys.

Jim: 19:58

Wait, Ms. You can come with me. I Have a that means you have to fly I have a king sized bed just come down

The Miz: 20:04

well you know what I still don't have your your passport

Bobby: 20:08

fucking pass it you know what I read something that again is taking people like four months to get their passport and their tax returns I got my tax return there were people who like filed in March I have not gotten that like late March money mean

The Miz: 20:21

why the fuck you filing so late? I don't know. I

Bobby: 20:24

know I don't really understand people who file late like I don't either I did it in like February, Jackie who did on the day of

The Miz: 20:30

like, I file via an estimate. So I file like mid January so I like I don't actually have my w two by the time I file No.

Bobby: 20:39

Cuz you're on account as you can like do your estimate it frigerator But yeah, I do mind the minute I get my w two and shit. I plug that shit and I'm ready to go. And then this year, I was like, they're like, Oh, I'm like,

The Miz: 20:49

Oh, you did? Always.

Jim: 20:53

Once I must 1000 back. But that's

Bobby: 20:56

because you don't take out the right amount that like

The Miz: 20:58

does that mean that your withholdings are huge?

Jim: 21:01

I don't know what a withholding is how much you'd let the government

The Miz: 21:03

how much comes out. I

Jim: 21:04

put out zero on my form though I do zero like I can't that means your withholdings

The Miz: 21:08

are any lower. No One No. One is lower. If you if you go up that means other exemption that you get. So like you would take out less of a higher don't go on if you want to. Well, I don't I mean, you you'll pay the same tax liability regardless, it's just whether you do it via each paycheck or one. Yeah,

Bobby: 21:28

that's what it is. You're basically like lending them on your site here spent while you're paying taxes. So they're spending that tax money to like fix the roads, but then they're like, ooh, Brian, you know what really pays taxes? Why don't they tell you what you owe? Or you're getting money back? Like why do I have to tell you because then you come back and tell me if I'm right or wrong.

The Miz: 21:44

I know it's weird.

Jim: 21:46

You know what I owe so just tell me

Bobby: 21:49

tell me if I'm correct in making this calculation, but then why don't you just send me my bill they want to make sure yeah, and I it's so I hate

The Miz: 21:57

and I Why can't you like invoice me? I'm

Jim: 21:58

like 1231 Just tell me how much I end of the year I'll set something

Bobby: 22:02

up date. Yeah, and it's time guys. I think it's us or them's it's time we're gonna we're gonna overhaul

Jim: 22:10

Demi Lovato

Bobby: 22:13

Yeah, we're gonna storm

The Miz: 22:15

I can not under I cannot look at that.

Jim: 22:20

It's the Pixie. Okay, the hair wig. It looks so bad

The Miz: 22:24

seeing them and like hot weather just makes me want to literally like fix ca I'm just like I can You're disgusting. It really is disgusting. Oh my god. It's like just

Bobby: 22:38

coming off of that. Yeah, cuz I feel like now that like,

The Miz: 22:41

I see like green waves coming out from Demi Lovato and

Bobby: 22:46

they, like are probably butchering it up a little bit more than they did before. I'm sorry. They like that torturing

The Miz: 22:53

like, yeah, I'm picturing like, sawdust coming out of her like got like, fucking like, like, like critters roaming around in there. And then

Jim: 23:03

something going on. Yeah, like a

The Miz: 23:04

cockroach crawling out of their fuckin belly button.

Bobby: 23:09

Their belly button has got to be full of cockroach.

The Miz: 23:11

Their belly buttons a fucking forest.

Bobby: 23:15

I was explaining my mom what they and them and that Oh,

Jim: 23:18

yeah, my neighbor yesterday,

Bobby: 23:20

we've tons of conversations about every stray person asked me like, what do you think about the day them and I'm like, What do you want to know? Like, I don't? I don't necessarily understand them. Like, I don't really know how to explain the way that they understand or not doesn't matter. I'm going to be there to support my brothers and sisters in the LGBTQIA plus community.

The Miz: 23:39

Christ.

Jim: 23:40

I'm gonna use this as the more you know, because I'm going to dive right into this. It's happened to me twice.

Bobby: 23:46

Man, we're just flying. We are flying. This is putting pressure on us. Oh, sorry. That's gonna cook up.

Jim: 23:56

Wow, that's kinda that's kind of rude. Okay, so this the more you know, is, here's what I found out and I want to share with you if you didn't already know, all the people are struggling right now. With the gender thing.

Bobby: 24:08

That's fine. Like what age like

Jim: 24:11

Bobby and older? really, truly.

Bobby: 24:17

So I would say 50 not personally, but that's our 40 up Really?

Jim: 24:21

Yeah, for I think 40 now because like, my boss is 42 and like, Ryan has no idea about anything gender related. He doesn't get pronouns and I'm like, and you're gay. So like you should be aware of what Is he gay can't met? Uh, no, he's he's ashamed. So any well, any well I wasn't gonna say well, and then I'm like, any ways? I don't know. He

Bobby: 24:44

got it. Then smoke it. Too late. Right. I'm gonna fucking smoke. You got it. smoke it.

Jim: 24:55

Well, Macy's own right. Yeah, Jesus Christ. I was arrested at the last minute like I'm flying tomorrow at Macy's and nowhere else to go.

The Miz: 25:08

Why do you dress shirt from Mexico? What are you doing?

Bobby: 25:13

White on the beach. Like, are you fun?

The Miz: 25:14

going to a wedding? Whose wedding? What is a wedding? What's the wedding? Speaking whose wedding is and

Jim: 25:23

it's a friend from? Okay. Well,

Bobby: 25:26

I hate wedding. So there's that.

The Miz: 25:28

Anyway. So you're gonna say that was? I was at Macy's? You were at Macy's? Macy's, I'm alone talking about they

Jim: 25:38

go and I'm getting some new Ray Ban sunglasses. So I go to the counter. And I'm like trying them all on honey. I'm old school. I like Ray Ban, sorry.

Bobby: 25:47

So just straight.

Jim: 25:49

Know, if I were straight, I would get oakleys. And so I'm not but so I go and I like kick them out and then buying them and the lady goes. So what's up with the nail polish? Very rudely. And I like looked at her. I was like, What do you mean? She's like, Oh, my like, you have nail polish on? I'm like, Uh huh. And she's like, why do you do that? And I was like, No, you're

The Miz: 26:08

dumb old con who makes minimum wage? Well, your man wages.

Jim: 26:16

Not bad. It means they have they have

Bobby: 26:18

I guess individual companies minimum wages versus like the government is different.

Jim: 26:23

Right, literally. So I guess I'm just doing it like for fun. Like I did it with a friend when I was in Florida. And she goes, Okay, so but like, you have nail polish and you have a beard? And I'm like, Yes, that's correct. And she was like,

Bobby: 26:41

so if your beard, okay,

Jim: 26:42

she's like, I'm just making sure that you're not like a vey because I know you have a beard and nail polish. And I was like, You are so lucky. I glasses or I would just stop talking to you cuz I'm

Bobby: 26:53

gonna go to a different fucking store

Jim: 26:54

like 50 years old. Like she's not ancient. Like, she just you have a beard and nail polish. She's like, I just knew you weren't gay. I'm like, okay, whoa, let's swipe my card and oh my god,

Bobby: 27:05

we're fine. Was that I literally?

Jim: 27:09

Yeah, people just don't get it.

The Miz: 27:10

I wish she just like took a bunch of personal things for her and threw it right back.

Jim: 27:14

I'm like, well, you look like a cracked out Whoa, who just needs like,

The Miz: 27:17

I just wanted to make sure you weren't pregnant.

Jim: 27:21

seanna below your belt line.

Bobby: 27:24

That dress right there. It's from your baby.

The Miz: 27:27

I see that you have smokers teeth and that you're just wanting to make sure you weren't smoking a bit. I love that. Okay.

Bobby: 27:36

A little bitch back. But do you think that fast? I can't. I'm like, I know.

Jim: 27:40

I was in total shock. Honestly, I just stared at her louder like, no. That happened. So then later that same day, I'm going home. I'm out in my backyard. And my neighbors are out and so like my neighbor who's like normai burst This is what happens when you wake up at 3pm like it's bad.

Bobby: 28:06

I'm sorry. Overnight janitor hours.

Jim: 28:09

So my neighbor literally turned to my and said, Now wait a minute. I just don't get the vibe. am I'm not using that. As your new new I was like, Oh, wait, what? Right?

The Miz: 28:21

Just like what over like a glass of lemonade.

Jim: 28:25

And I was in his backyard. So I was like, is he hot? Yep. Honey, don't worry. And I grabbed his crotch. It was like it's gonna be fine.

Bobby: 28:33

I'll show you what a day is. Give me the

Jim: 28:36

day. You can fuck are they just like a ham? I mean, seriously. Oh,

Bobby: 28:40

everyone has a whole I think everyone has an ass. Okay.

Jim: 28:43

I don't know if everyone has a pussy. Everyone

Bobby: 28:45

has. Everyone has a whole disk to host a deck.

Jim: 28:48

Yeah, right. Like literally, every person can post a deck. Yeah, yeah. I like host a deck. Like that's a good phrase. I

Bobby: 28:55

kind of like that's like the name of

Jim: 28:56

our album. You're like an Airbnb or like, I'm ready to host a deck.

Bobby: 28:59

Oh my god. It could be like, Airbnb for deck. That's called Grindr. Oh, and that's also called, like prostitution. Which is illegal. Technically. We could say we're in Nevada. Oh.

Jim: 29:15

So yeah, so I had like two encounters in one day where I realized like, people don't get them at all. And then my boss my gay boss was like, also saying like, I just don't understand it. And I'm like, the nails I let know that they them pronouns. I'm I literally made them and one Don't you understand? And then I answered all of his questions accurately. And then at the end, he's like, I just don't get it. I'm like, do we have to go over it again? Do you want to reread the messages? Honestly,

The Miz: 29:40

at this point, I'm not surprised. Don't get your dumb ass like people who upon expiration, don't get it do deserve. That is

Jim: 29:48

the point. If you've already done work, and you've explained everything, and then someone still says I don't get it. They're not trying to get it. Move on.

Bobby: 29:55

Oh my god. I forgot to tell you

The Miz: 29:56

yes. Or just like you know what i like fuck I don't get it I'm not

Bobby: 30:04

oh my god my meeting is starting that's got interrupted so that's that story.

The Miz: 30:08

I'll come back come back um I need to like I'm gonna stop to

Unknown: 30:14

yeah

Bobby: 30:16

what do you think Mrs. reaction is going to be when it comes in here? Oh he's gonna be absolutely passed to the gods to the gods What do you think cuz he's like on a work meeting call.

Jim: 30:27

Oh he's furious

Bobby: 30:28

he's furious like when he does the text and then he does the caps he's fucking all caps on you know a noid So, so we got to get this on tape. My bet is he's fucking past but it's gonna be like not as

Jim: 30:41

not as real as

Bobby: 30:43

he's at in our world won't matter but like the accounting world he's

Jim: 30:45

like start all over probably they're like that's actually not how you do it. He's like let me get my Excel sheet up, though plenty of the Lord. We are the Oreos in the milk. And we love rainbows and tiny fags.

Bobby: 31:06

And it was sounds like church mixed with Christmas. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no,

Unknown: 31:12

no, no. At this point, the audio cuts. Jim then starts to tell us about a friend who has cancer in Florida and how he isn't facing cancer very well.

Jim: 31:22

You visit him in Florida. TJ Mike. So that sounds bad. He's like, Yeah, not a good sign like well, and I'm like, I'm asking him I'm like so have you asked your Do you have a cancer navigator? Like in Columbus, when you get cancer, they set you up in the navigator helps you find a social worker, a psychologist, a counselor, like a chaplain if you want to, like resources, so he has none of that in Florida. He has an oncologist, a cancer doctor. That's it. I'm like, he's like, yeah, it's getting hard for me to like, handle it mentally. I'm like, Oh, well, do you have a counselor to talk to you? He's like, no, what's that? I'm like, you know, when you find out you have stage four cancer and you're dying. Normally, they set you up with mental health services. He's like, I don't have any. I'm like, do you have someone to talk to you spiritually? Because he's also worried about that. He's like, Oh, well, like a local pastor, like reached out to me. And he's worried about God. Well, just like death. Yeah. And so I'm like, how old is this person? 50. Yeah, it's bad. melanoma everywhere.

Bobby: 32:24

And there's no treatment and they lived in Florida.

Jim: 32:26

While he was in Ohio. He was rooming Okay, for like years. And then he moved out there with his terrible boyfriend who moved him who mooches off of him, lives in his house rent free. They have a pool. Well, he has a pool about and then ramming Ramey moved his parents down to the house in Florida for free. Well, they were living for free. In his heart. No, no. Yeah, we told him, we were like, you need to get out of there. out. You are being mooched off of their second on your TV and you're like dying, and you're dying. They're not going to take care of you.

Bobby: 33:04

How do you get stage four melanoma like you just don't ever get your stuff checked.

Jim: 33:08

Now because the problem with melanoma is sometimes you don't realize you have it. Sometimes it's just a mole. And that's it. It's the way deep in your skin. And then it's spread everywhere. And then you realize, like, I have a pain in my leg. That's how he found it. He had pain in his leg. They realized it was like melanoma and cut half his leg out. And we're like, oh, and then scan them. And they're like, yeah, it's also in your liver. And it's also elsewhere. And there's all these lymph nodes everywhere. So you might you won't even know you have it until it's too late.

Bobby: 33:43

How can you get like bloodwork? No, won't show but if you don't have a history, like Zima history,

Jim: 33:48

no family, no family history none. Or I guess my grandma got melanoma and she just, it was everywhere. No, I'm kidding. It was just an arm. But they cut out what

Bobby: 33:57

I know a lot of people get it and they can cut them out.

Jim: 33:59

Right if it's on the surface, so that

Bobby: 34:01

that's why we'll get checked by the Derm Yeah, you should. I do like what he said I don't have to come to him every year because I really don't need to come you don't have a bunch of stuff now. He's like you don't and if you haven't had any issues now like you probably you won't. I still burn on my back a lot as a child. It makes me nervous.

Jim: 34:18

Oh, I only use 50 plus SPF when I'm on vacation. So everyone's like you didn't really get tan in Florida. Like I spent three hours max in the sun every day. That's it. I don't go out from a I guess IPM and I don't want anything less than 50 I do not burn. I'm not allowing it. I don't want to get wrinkly I don't want to get cancer like I don't want

Bobby: 34:37

I know and there I am like tan right now. I'm like I like hot I just don't get a spray tan you know

Jim: 34:41

about like a fake ones. Probably faster, cheaper.

Bobby: 34:44

I have to stand my fat body in front of somebody

Jim: 34:46

unless you don't rub in suntan i can i can scream. I hate sunscreen. I hate sunscreen.

Bobby: 34:53

Bitch coming to a theater near you. Oh yeah, that does help in a small town. Nobody could understand what was happening.

Jim: 35:03

Coming to VHS and DVD. Remember that when you were a kid and we'd be like coming soon to video coming soon to video to video the DVD I would be like wow to video and DVD. blockbuster muster buster, Buster. I do miss Blockbuster Video. I don't miss walking up to the wall and there's actually none to rent. You would just be like, Well, fuck you're like well,

Bobby: 35:30

there's 40 copies out.

Jim: 35:32

There all gone like you have any of these and the return box. No, we don't have any of the return box. Well, fuck off

Bobby: 35:40

right now used to be like, please check in the box. Like, well, there was one supposed to be back out there late for days. You're like God, fuck now

Jim: 35:47

never days. Yeah, you're like, that's $1 a day. The new releases were like $5 a day. They were looking around.

Bobby: 35:53

They're looking around. I think I have like, Oh, I think I like have like a $30 balance. And I tried to get after me and I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. And I don't know where it went. I just like thought of that. I'm like, sorry. I'm just a little twink boy sorry. You just turned the Hollywood video into a Chase Bank. So Winner winner chicken dinner.

Jim: 36:13

And I still have your VHS you still

Bobby: 36:15

have it? There's always renting like Xbox games.

Jim: 36:18

Oh, you free? Yeah, like the original Xbox. Playing Crash Bandicoot didn't have internet Really?

Bobby: 36:25

I mean the 70s Yeah, they did have like land but you couldn't like buy games on like your console. You had to like

Jim: 36:33

download it. Right, right. Yeah. Never

Bobby: 36:35

did get it or go renta, I mean, you need that desk, desk, and they would freeze.

Unknown: 36:40

Oh my god. The struggles have been why God. Oh, God. Oh.

Jim: 36:48

I want to talk about what do you want to talk about? One talk about bottoming briefly. I know it's a lot. A lot. Okay. So my partner were wondering the other day we were like, can you get Have you ever seen those like tubes that you put in your ass? And then the other guy like Fox the tube? And I'm like, we're Oh,

Bobby: 37:08

I know your time. What were you just to get barely in so

Jim: 37:11

and then like they know. But it's like, it's like a lot, but it's actually an opening so then they can fuck the opening of the butt plug

Bobby: 37:17

and not tear up your hole.

Jim: 37:19

And we're wondering if it protects your hole? Probably because we're of the age where we're like, should we protect our holes? Or are we gonna wear diapers at age 50? Right?

Bobby: 37:25

We're gonna have like, Oh, yeah, that's that's why it's got to just go to oral

Jim: 37:29

Yeah, I know. Just straight people don't get that they're like so gays are always doing anal. No, we're not. We're really truly not a lot of us aren't.

Bobby: 37:37

Honestly, I'm not really like that big of a fan.

Jim: 37:40

I mean, I like it's a lot of crap. It's feels good, but it's but either

Bobby: 37:43

way. I'm kind of like, okay, I'd rather just like can

Jim: 37:45

we make this quicker? That's what I'm normally I'm like, so I went through all this hour of preparing. And then it's like over in 20 minutes max and it's just kind of not worth it

Bobby: 37:57

right. And you're like, Oh,

Jim: 37:58

well I make me cream make me scream out in public make a scene.

Bobby: 38:02

I'm gonna cook I'm gonna clean I don't cook I don't clean. I'm gonna tell you how I got this rain. gobble me swallow me dripped on the side of me. Well, honestly, I will. Oh, let's see say,

Jim: 38:14

Oh, well, but yeah, so that's what we're just like trying to figure out bottom me and I'm like, What is bottom eating when you're in your 40s and 30? I think it's like when you're in your 20s you're just willy nilly like getting fucked in an alley and like, you may have eaten dinner and it's like fine, right? Like, you just want some like joy. Right a bottom in the alley. It's like, Huh, like those were the days but now I feel like I just

Bobby: 38:38

don't want to it's a lot of work for a little bit of a reward. I mean, not saying it's like doesn't feel fine, but like it feels great but it's like but it's a lot of the work up to it. It's kind of like I'd rather just like get this done once we can finish watching like real housewives not well

Jim: 38:54

yeah, like a show your show Big bro. I'd rather just like put on Shaun Cody Corbin Fisher, and just be like, here we go. Yeah, let's finish this off. Literally. There's so many toys you can use to that or like make it even better than an actual human mouth? To be honest.

Bobby: 39:09

Well that's the thing I kind of it strokers are way better. I kind of like self play better than any pie. So I

Jim: 39:15

recently I want to be

Bobby: 39:16

with you in the room. Right? I want to see what you're doing. I want to be able to touch if I want to

Jim: 39:21

I want to be able to grab a hold of it.

Bobby: 39:22

But I also don't really need you to do anything else. Is that weird?

Jim: 39:26

I am a full Don't touch me right now. Because like your touch might not be as good as my touch right? And you're just gonna real distract me. Exactly. And I was having this discussion with my partner the other day. I was like sometimes, you know, like a word you say or a joke you make ruins my mood. It's absolutely true. When I'm in my head and I'm like, Oh, yeah, here we go. And we're going and we're going right and I'm like, What did

Bobby: 39:49

you say? Like you can't really like pass gas and then try to get romantic with me. Now I'm saying Oh, like literally like in the kitchen like a like making a trail and then upstairs is like now No no no no ruin yeah

Jim: 40:01

Get the fuck off to be like a little de pretend role playing into that right but you gotta be like nice to me.

Bobby: 40:08

I know I like like, oh my god I just thought of something. Do you know x two is closing down and what yes they are no longer like after a couple of weeks.

Jim: 40:19

I'm coming back I'm free gas that's big news. Okay, so you go to X videos but x tube is well x tube is like the original volleys. Well, I did some tired because after Pornhub was like, we're only going to show verified videos. They ruined it. It's like when tumbler disappeared. I got a place for you.

Bobby: 40:38

Well, you probably know about x videos. That's where he I just said that. Oh. I love that one.

Jim: 40:44

I bet they have. Okay,

Bobby: 40:46

I've been straight. flashing. I've never done that. You just got a search.

Jim: 40:57

Got him dead. Okay, straight flash and

Bobby: 41:01

it was just Fourth of July. Yeah. Happy Fourth of July.

Jim: 41:04

Happy America day to everyone.

Bobby: 41:06

What do you think? What? Three flashing? Oh, yeah. So like, you look up straight flashing. And there's like, Guys, I say I'm telling you

Jim: 41:14

the horny in public. He's in our latency.

Bobby: 41:18

I love those kind of videos. Oh, he's jacking off on an airplane. There are people who actually Oh, I want to see this and do this. There are people that do it all the time.

Jim: 41:28

It's just like pulling up in their car. Oh my god.

Bobby: 41:32

Yeah, so that gets me going and so when I need the app, but a lot of I'm telling you I needed almost like a side series about straight man like I was gonna make a documentary about straight men and what they like and if they I feel like all I feel like I'm what I'm learning or feeling is that men need a male bond no matter what if

Jim: 41:51

male encouragement,

Bobby: 41:52

but also that also involves like private parts and like playing around and exploring and understanding your body based on somebody else's body. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, so I really think it's so natural. And it's so sad to me that people discourage that because they're so scared of homosexuality. It's

Jim: 42:08

like, No, no, that's normal.

Bobby: 42:10

That's like animals. We are animals. Do you see other animals? They sniff each other's assholes.

Jim: 42:15

Right each others butts like and I don't want to sniff your asshole no and sniff your crotch.

Bobby: 42:19

right and right now it is just

Jim: 42:21

oh cuz I showered earlier than No, I don't want to sniff your Oh,

Bobby: 42:24

this is like a midlife crisis.

Jim: 42:26

This would be bear I thought of that before I shower this morning. I hadn't showered in like 30 hours and I was like Mrs. gonna love this crotch smell right?

Bobby: 42:33

I always miss when I snipped It was like right. Wow. Well, you know, it's different my balls today and I thought Do you know what a gym smells like? Like how do you describe that balls?

Jim: 42:43

Just balls.

Bobby: 42:44

I just realized that I was like, Oh, it's balls. Yeah, it's like balls and

Jim: 42:47

powder into the locker room and it's like covering up with powder. Yeah, under the underneath his balls and there's a spritz of deodorant powder, but it's still balls balls

Bobby: 42:56

and I'm like, oh my god. We're so disgusting.

Jim: 42:58

We are just foul sweaty. And everybody is everyone's crotch smells like balls even the women but guess what we have for our balls manscaped

Bobby: 43:09

know even better

Jim: 43:10

oh my god we have this fuckboys soap

Bobby: 43:15

by fucking good soap. They're out of Oregon. No no not just Oregon my favorite smartlab my favorite city in the US Portland so I jumped online I saw I kept seeing their so pop up and I was like, I really want to try this smell I can't wait to use this and I said Hey, does your fucking good soap work on balls? Like a psychopath? And he's like, why don't you send me your your your address and I'll let you know whatever I'll let you try it I'm like okay, so we got them today. I cannot wait to wash these dirty balls

Jim: 43:41

all the way down and wash my dirty balls. I mean look at this coconut oil palm oil olive oil so like Yeah,

Bobby: 43:48

yeah, so it's gonna be really great. And the way it's packaged is really like aroma can really escape so that's like high pack tight packaging and it said it's like I just love their slogan I like where they're at fucking good soap calm yes and

Jim: 44:02

yes and ready to wash these balls

Bobby: 44:05

Yeah, I'm super excited I'm still like

Jim: 44:07

fucking Godzilla was so lucky as a side note like so I'm looking up fucking good so for now I'm looking at straight guy flashing or just saw your backup back and try to figure out what flash cuz there's a lot of like not good videos under like straight flashing right

Bobby: 44:21

so you got to do like I'm trying to figure out because I'm like like straight guys showing off I like that like I put in golf course the other day that's an interesting one. Got a golf course i'm looking at the first video oh my god Okay, your next video right?

Jim: 44:37

Yeah, I'm on x videos.

Bobby: 44:38

Do you see a guy with like a dick out or he's like his back to the camera. Gotta give like a fill out all right, hang your on girls like Ah, okay. Straight side of this website. Wow. No wonder you're like this isn't really that good.

Jim: 44:53

Public outdoor gerkin Come on golf.

Bobby: 44:57

Like our there's all kinds of stuff but like that's where you start. And then Like when you go to the video, you go to the very bottom and it shows you videos that are similar and you just keep going down that rabbit hole. It's pausing. I thought it's so funny though that was like, oh my balls they smell like a locker room but like, well, like,

Jim: 45:13

locker rooms are like balls. They must be Yeah, so

Bobby: 45:16

it's just incredible. You heard him saying, you know, Amy, you don't even mean so missus and making me back like I'm unfortunately. I don't think I think he's

Jim: 45:26

done. Yeah, you're going to Mexico. I'm going to Mexico. Right and Indian wedding and I have a lot of good does. What's that? It's just like a gown kind of thing. Oh, you're so you're allowed to wear Indian clothing? Oh, yeah, yeah, they

Bobby: 45:39

let me just ask for permission.

Jim: 45:41

I asked my Indian friend here. I was like, No, no, they told me she bought me one. The bride bought me. Wow, that's cool. It doesn't fit because I'm like, not as fast as he thinks. But I'm fat but

Bobby: 45:51

I think she was giving a little breathing room because some of those get rolled tight.

Jim: 45:55

Yeah, I have like ones that fit appropriately. So I looked professional. Well, it'd be like a Bollywood dancer.

Bobby: 46:00

I think it's gonna be hot. I like it like it's gonna

Jim: 46:02

be hot. It's like 100 degrees and Mexico and 100% humidity. Yeah, how the hell it's the summer it's Mexico. Like, I don't need I don't need my hair frizzy now. It's true. It's got a big bush.

Bobby: 46:21

I mean, he's talking about his pubic hairs not on his head. I

Jim: 46:24

don't have that here. But my pubic hairs are gonna be a big giant for his ball.

Bobby: 46:29

So that's exciting. I'm going to gay camp, which I'm going to like report back because I think I want us to go like take over a gay camp brown where somewhere we're going I'm going to roselyn Rosa land rose. Like I'm on a titanic Roseland. Okay, so I'm going there. It's a clothing optional on my gay man's resort can't I'm staying in the barracks here being such a slide it's kind of like a sweaty week but I think it's also a weekend of and this is where I was thinking like male bonding like this is gonna sound really sometimes need to be broken down to feel alive and to feel a part of something so I feel like something like this that's really uncomfortable. becomes comfortable and breaks your there's a report

Jim: 47:10

we have a report. Let's see where we're at. ttttt

Bobby: 47:15

breaking news the MS is back. Wow, man. Wow.

The Miz: 47:21

When I tell you I want to kill myself. I don't think I've ever meant it more than I do. Now.

Jim: 47:26

Tell me more tell us about a bay

The Miz: 47:28

literally, like an hour and a half meeting

Bobby: 47:30

like what the fuck was that right at six o'clock at night? It's like we have things to do like your star of the show even though

The Miz: 47:38

like honestly Good thing I didn't have like I places to actually physically Thank

Bobby: 47:43

God you weren't doing stand up.

Jim: 47:45

all you had was your trash friends on a website.

Bobby: 47:48

Thank God. Thank god we're just like, Oh, yeah, wait, you have a sister. Oh, sorry.

Jim: 47:53

You have a sister you have your sister have a family? Yeah.

Bobby: 47:58

You have a mom? Oh my god. Are you like fucked? Like what's happening? I'm fact at work on I have something they have to do you have to change something you have to go back like 18 steps.

The Miz: 48:09

I'm making noid

Bobby: 48:11

I'm like annoyed we're all here She's Not Doing So Well is here for your listeners like

The Miz: 48:17

things I need to do. Right? And people are dependent like need it yet. Like so many the call them on last forever. And like a very, very, very small portion of it has to do with what I do. So like,

Jim: 48:32

I rent, you don't control.

The Miz: 48:34

I have to exactly sit there going on the actual project. Exactly the talking about all these postings and like everything needs to happen in the system and blah, blah. And I'm like, Listen, I don't even have fucking access to the system. However, because I'm sitting here, I don't know what to tell you to post because I haven't been able to fucking look at anything. So it's

Bobby: 48:57

cuz like sitting here looking at you waiting.

The Miz: 49:02

That's like a never ending like Fuck, I'm like, we can all sit here and figure out and plan how the fuck you're going to like calculate what you eventually need to post. But I can't even tell you the beginning treatment of it. So

Bobby: 49:16

listen, I was like I was like, oh, he'll be gone for a little bit. And then I was like, Well, I guess hours later and Okay, like literally two hours actually. I'm about how you'd react and actually I'm pretty shocked I actually feel very calm you're This is when you know this again this is Ms. being fully like real right now. He's not being dramatic over like he's not doing his little housewives gig like he's literally like, just like upset because he's got shit to do now.

The Miz: 49:39

I know now I'm freaking out like now I need to go fucking do it and I'm not gonna fuckin work x day I

Bobby: 49:44

guess. It's like, You know why? hairs? Because you know what I find really fucking funny. I'm just gonna call it all out while we're here. I think it's really funny that all you motherfuckers strive to have the six packs on the guys that you hate. How does that make

Jim: 50:00

All you motherfuckers were talking to miss

Bobby: 50:03

I think you too personally

The Miz: 50:05

looking at getting fatter and fatter Tommy's now on give up oh

Bobby: 50:08

my god that looks so good I had gummies this weekend when you give me gummy bears

Jim: 50:12

silver silver and then I found out they're made of like the joints from cows and I was like well that's

Unknown: 50:19

yeah

The Miz: 50:25

I'm trying to go back to your ASAP yeah

Bobby: 50:27

like what's really gonna push the the you're gonna throw out you're out there for tear down and be like, Look, I need you to give me back the city like I gotta get to the you're gone back.

The Miz: 50:33

Yeah, I'm going back I am I done. Oh, wow.

Bobby: 50:39

We are witnessing a breakdown. Actually, it's a break up. It's time to get back to the city. It's time to go back to work. Yeah, batch no more fucking around. Plus, we got a comedy show to practice for. I can't wait for that stressful week. Fucking crisis in a week. That's when I get the call from biz like an hour before we both do. It's like I'm quitting. Oh, if you're like in a full blackout. You're like, I don't even know. I'm gonna fucking say you never know. You're gonna say Well,

Jim: 51:07

before the show. He's

Bobby: 51:08

like, I don't have any but he's like the best ones out there right now he's in his Ellen's in

The Miz: 51:13

a fucking week. I

Bobby: 51:14

have nothing that's what you should do. That should be the whole gag you just say are you going bears? Like I have nothing? to fear show as oh my god that really funny to be honest. Fucking idiots. Like stay in character? Like only a bunch of fucking fools. It's not even funny. I don't know. No, clearly no, because you just rolled your eyes at me. I can see you don't forget that.

The Miz: 51:38

Okay, so what's happened in my absence? Um,

Bobby: 51:41

we talked about like, porn. porn. We talked about holes, tunnels. Yeah. Like plastic pieces that can go in your hole that you fuck Oh yeah. Have

Jim: 51:52

you ever heard of these things like that go in as like a butt plug but they have an opening that like gets you into the rectum and like someone can fuck you through the hole in the butt plug

The Miz: 52:01

like a toilet paper roll?

Jim: 52:02

Yeah, like kind of like that but it's like plastic so my like protect your hole and we're not sure if it does protect it.

Bobby: 52:09

Well yeah, cuz you're not having a deck slam against the sides right? That's I think it works. You will have I think we need to get that Yeah,

Jim: 52:16

maybe let's do a test run and see what we can report back

Bobby: 52:20

let's try we were talking about Jim going to Mexico and then we talked about me going to gay camp. Gay fucking cam again. Yeah FTI bitch like I think if it goes well I think we're just gonna have to all meet there and do like a She's Not Doing So Well themed weekend.

The Miz: 52:34

Yeah, but I'm not getting fucking naked.

Bobby: 52:37

Says the guy that got Nikitin got his dick sucked at the fucking Eagle. I didn't get naked. You might as well I would fully clothed everyone saw your ass and your penis like what else do they need to like your pain? Your pain? Is that something so like professional? gyms getting antsy now because he's got to go pack.

The Miz: 52:56

Oh my god, I would show my ass and penis any day. It's my stomach. Man. We

Jim: 53:00

can't have our hair. We can wear a shirt and just have your balls and decaying.

Bobby: 53:04

That'll be my favorite. Like that's a good law. That's actually kind of hot to me. I'm not gonna lie. Well, I love that actually. I that look actually really turns me off. Like Sam because you kind of can see it you kind of can you're like what's underneath this little thing? Or this little dress that you have on? What's on a dress shirt?

The Miz: 53:19

what's underneath your drive?

Bobby: 53:21

Hey, what's underneath that dress? I'm in a fucking rare mood. I haven't eaten. I was gonna say you're acting really weird and you're acting like you're not even involved. So you need to get back on Earth.

Jim: 53:31

No, we're done.

The Miz: 53:32

I can't give anyone any shit this week.

Bobby: 53:35

Sorry. We're done. Okay, so what are our final final thought? You You will first jam

Jim: 53:42

my final thought is that honestly I don't it's like toxic but it's also not toxic because it feels so right to just like watch pretend straight guys doing sexual things

The Miz: 53:59

okay, thank you for so I know I missed a lot of the recording but what what is dicicco back

Jim: 54:11

to like Google like on extra videos. He's like do straight flashing golf course all these other things that like well let me rate themed street team things and I just found like on the gay saturate best friends that were just like blowing each other for the first time ever. All this other ride like, oh, the straight guy wants to bottom and he's like doing it professionally. It's like, right straight like, asshole your leg Believe me, but I'm gonna like suspend my disbelief and let myself fully come to all this bullshit. That's why

Bobby: 54:43

I have to watch amateurs I

Jim: 54:44

don't believe I only like amateur. Yeah,

Bobby: 54:46

yeah, like professional porn is not attractive. Yeah, that's my final. I think my final I'm gonna let you end up since you know, final thought is gonna be I feel like you need to learn How to open up to some of your male friends if you're a male and if you're a female to your female friends and if you're they I guess you're they friends and if you're whoever you're like, how do I say this? Is this going south? Yes. I love whatever your gender is like bonding with your gender does that make sense or your non gender? So by anyone bond with your life category Why Why?

Jim: 55:24

Okay, so what did I miss this I want you to bond with gender non gendered

Unknown: 55:31

or whatever. Literally Anyone? Anyone anything. So you want me to point out what I'm saying

Bobby: 55:37

is like so I'm going to a campground and there's all males there and I feel like there's something to be said about like bonding and being vulnerable in front of other people in your direct peer group.

The Miz: 55:49

Christ. Are you going to establish like a brotherhood with these

Bobby: 55:52

brotherhood jerking off? Well, yeah, probably jerking off over like remember that weekend we all jerked off around the pool

Jim: 55:58

is tried to do this like a year ago and you freaked out I remember

Bobby: 56:02

remember I told you so to me like I don't know if I can do like

Jim: 56:07

family jerk or like well

Bobby: 56:08

I can have we can have sexual so that's a pretty bold fucking still considering I've watched you get your ducks in protected chill. I'm like I've never be around or got dirty I protected okay you're putting that in that in the in the universe and even paying ms what's your final thought? Because I guess mine did so well

Jim: 56:29

was yours like bond with Don gendered people

Bobby: 56:31

bond with your like category gender

The Miz: 56:35

bond with men if for for me and you don't want

Jim: 56:40

to bond with Demi Lovato

Bobby: 56:42

Demi Lovato beach party was full fat fro yo and that's about it then next week have a Diet Dr. Pepper girl or boy girl listen girl hits them final i don't

The Miz: 57:11

i don't think i have a final thought. I guess my final would be it's not really a final thought so much. It's something that I want to get into next time. I really want to get into a discussion on the minimum wage Here we go

Jim: 57:27

again. shitting on all the minimum wage gains as you call them. No. Making the minimum wage thing down and the I work for them. Yeah, I pay their salaries. Oh, wow. Bitch. Do you self entitle whore up in New Hampshire? It's just ridiculous. Bobby's just pushing buttons like it's ridiculous. A good topic to explore. It's time for the puppy dog. What does that no

Bobby: 57:56

actually it was gonna be this by Oh, I totally forgot this existed. Time for the final thought. I came to two but yeah. I like Final Thoughts are great. And then one of those episodes but we need. I think it's happened to us last time on season four, Episode Four where it gets really messy and we're like, ends up being our best episode. It's like the one with Margarita is choking you I swear to God, that one has somebody choking you on a margarita. Margarita in my lungs. Do you remember that one? I do remember that. It's the highest.

Jim: 58:42

Can I just tell you that my friend and undergrad had his sister was named Margarita. Ms. What a slurped her.

Bobby: 59:05

Why do you have these buttons now? I don't know. What were you in a video? I'm sorry. Do you want to fucking provide me with some more buttons so that I can fucking do something? Was sin up my buttons bad? I just noticed that you didn't provide me with some. You're rubbing off on me just a little

Jim: 59:25

bit provided me with any buttons. Oh my god, that was I went into format. I'm this way.

Bobby: 59:33

I'm this way. I'm gonna go

Jim: 59:36

in 40 blocks. I was like, bitch, you're all which ways you don't even know where the fuck you live. Right? He was whatever way we were not. And then the next week he called me and I'm like, where are you? He's like, I don't know. But I'm near my apartment. He's at a bar drinking the market. Now, I was like your dad, you're dying tonight.

Bobby: 59:54

This is a but here he is in New Hampshire in New Hampshire,

Jim: 59:58

which is basically the afterlife. New Hampshire is the afterlife well once you die you go there. It's a forest. It's it. You're done. You're getting attacked by sheep.

Bobby: 1:00:07

True True, true true your attention to make sure you follow us or whatever. I don't even care if you can follow us To be honest, just do people get to vote for this? Fucking though, we're gonna have a link for our Columbus podcast awards, which we got to go to and you're gonna be in a unicorn head the whole time

Jim: 1:00:24

now does do the face. Well, when

Bobby: 1:00:25

is the show you got to come in at the end? Yeah. When is August? Like the 27th or

The Miz: 1:00:34

1827 Bobby I think you should in turn.

Jim: 1:00:39

He'd honestly make more doing that than he does at his job. That's

Bobby: 1:00:42

not true. You can be social. Yeah, I don't know if I like that anymore. I don't know. I'm doing my life to be honest. We're not getting fun. How do you know what the fuck I'm doing? Funny. We've all seen that. I was thinking that Jade Senate. Well don't die in the air. In the air planet. JOHN, if I if I read

Jim: 1:01:02

about you on Wikipedia, I will die because I'm in first class. So like that's always everyone dies in first class. Unless you get hit in the back.

Bobby: 1:01:10

That's true all down and maybe you'll just be stuck in your CV you'll probably drown.

Jim: 1:01:14

That's fine. I'm okay with that work. You just take one Deep Breath of water and sober. Yeah, I

Bobby: 1:01:19

always wonder that you pass out right away. Yeah, your body just knows.

Jim: 1:01:23

Oh yeah, there's no oxygen. There's not enough so it's just passing out. Okay, that's not I'm done permanently.

Bobby: 1:01:31

Well, that's gonna be a fun we're gonna be short food baby or you're gonna make it through the plane crash but then you're gonna be flooding they're slowly drowning and you're buckled in your chair and you can't move.

Jim: 1:01:40

Or if you swim to the surface, you just kind of tread water and get eaten by a shark. So right you're waiting to get your water bitten by a shark? Of course I could probably swing back I could to to be honest.

Bobby: 1:01:53

I could swim I'm a really good swimmer. Or you know I'm a little bit more balls you can flow sorry

The Miz: 1:01:58

you need to find a kick for it yeah

Bobby: 1:02:01

when a door door

Jim: 1:02:03

Bobby needs a door not a biggie needs a door it's

Bobby: 1:02:07

warm enough down there you kick and you get to fucking

The Miz: 1:02:09

Bobby needs like a water tramp magic number

Bobby: 1:02:13

I don't know what's where it's like surviving a plane crash like in the middle of Pacific or something. I would be like fucking

Jim: 1:02:18

because you know that movie Yeah, you're just like I know I'm nowhere near land Hara fine. Sharks. You'll deep though Pacific

Bobby: 1:02:27

Ocean.

Jim: 1:02:28

Oh, yeah, the Mariana Trench.

Bobby: 1:02:31

I had just had a little moment to real quick something's going on in the world.

Jim: 1:02:36

Yeah, you mean the planet style had heard about

Bobby: 1:02:38

like the water that's on fire?

Jim: 1:02:40

Yeah, because the oil companies

Bobby: 1:02:42

oil into the ocean but now they're saying like it burned but people are thinking like a portal.

Jim: 1:02:46

It's not it's oil burning. Okay. Who know what right wing magga tick

The Miz: 1:02:54

boards on goddamn knee? I think because I listen on.

Jim: 1:02:58

Tick tock, because on your Tick Tock. When you were scrolling earlier, half the videos were magga people being like, look at the fireworks. They're telling us something. Yeah, I'm like, No, those are called fucking fireworks. So

Bobby: 1:03:08

we're actually drones but that's what they were. They were alien. Like it's DNA strains. What are they telling us? It's broken. I'm telling you.

Jim: 1:03:17

Now honey, that's called oil burning in water and it flowed so it's burning out loud. But it looks like it's spinning. It is spinning because of currents. Oh my god. I'm so scared. And because they're spraying water in a direction Yeah. Anyways,

Bobby: 1:03:31

but then somebody else said something else do you remember the bombing somebody the bombing in the ocean that they just did? They did a trial run in the Navy ship you've ever seen that video? glasses? Yeah. Why? To test the strength of the Navy ship that was sitting next to the blast? I never thought like what if they're really trying to like blast something deep in the ocean?

Jim: 1:03:49

Oh, no. That time they weren't they were literally just trying to see would this ship survive a blast? That was five feet away from it. Why not? Okay, okay, well,

Bobby: 1:04:00

that sounds reasonable. I know into the universe, but I'm starting to actually like think the ocean has a lot more shit in it than we even fucking can imagine

Jim: 1:04:06

it does. We have species that we don't know about the fuck out as soon as

The Miz: 1:04:13

what impacted things that from a habit? I

Bobby: 1:04:15

don't know. Are they coming up

The Miz: 1:04:16

and take a shape? Or? No, we don't know about the aliens and the

Bobby: 1:04:21

aliens that were I think aliens are in the ocean from the earth and evolved on or I think they came to earth and they're under the ocean deep and they're they're planning an attack.

The Miz: 1:04:31

My final thought is I think you are. I think you are Oh,

Bobby: 1:04:35

my God. Get me Got me. I'm brainwashed you're

Jim: 1:04:38

in the queue and on top. It's an Tifa it's antique in the ocean. They're coming up.

Bobby: 1:04:44

It must be antifa it's

Jim: 1:04:45

gotta be an Tifa. And they're wearing the same outfits as they look like they're storming the Capitol. It's a it's a thought

Bobby: 1:04:52

that was a really good Southern voice.

Jim: 1:04:54

Well, you're welcome. I'm going to Atlanta soon. Well,

Bobby: 1:04:59

thanks You for joining us I don't know what this is going to sound like at the end hopefully. No I think it'll be the best episode we've ever put out I'm kidding

Jim: 1:05:06

well I just want everyone to vote for us and if you don't I will find you because we can track the listens we the voting signals now so it's while I'm on the website it's getting real catty. I'm sorry up in New Hampshire. You can't vote Yeah, no. Basically in Canada and we love Canada by the way to all our listeners out there, including Toronto on tour.

The Miz: 1:05:37

Okay, well, actually, I'm not a fan. I'm not actually a fan. I'm not actually a fan. How am I? You can vote.

Bobby: 1:05:56

I don't even get what's your high? No, no, I'm just hungry. Sweet. Sweet. And hungry. I'm Hi. Hello. I'm like I need flay. Sweet my blood sugar is for me one of those Werther's? Original, please. I needed some sugar. Get your pass out and get me a word of

Unknown: 1:06:26

it. I'm going to come back

Jim: 1:06:30

Monday when? We're gonna record Monday night. Right off the plane. Oh, yeah. So we're gonna fly. Yeah, that'll be fun. Oh, honey, I'm doing Delta so they serve drinks. I'm getting like three drinks all the way back.

Bobby: 1:06:43

All right. Well, okay, well, bye. Bye. Bye. fucking annoying. Sorry. I'm not actually a fan.

Unknown: 1:06:53

Thank you for listening to another episode of She's Not Doing So Well. Leave a message with questions or comments at 669-207-4643 Don't forget to subscribe and check out our links in the podcast description of this episode. These information will be expressed when She's Not Doing So Well podcast was closing opposition of this has been a house of bread production.