Someone Call 911

We decided to name ourselves the ultra Baltar boys. I want all our little queens to know but the straight guys, do you feel like you're unconscious? I didn't want to see them in high school. I woke up every day hating them. Oh my God. Is this real? I think it's real. Oh, I'm sure you really missed me my lips now, girl. Why are we recording already? Why we are ready? This is late. Late. We mean what I have work tomorrow. Can we hurry up? Yeah, we're hurting him. Oh my god. So mean. By being mean? Why am I being mean? You're the one to drag me over. You're an asshole. Wow, girl. I don't need you. Are you being mean though? I don't need my name. I'm not being mean. I'm just trying to feel like I don't even know I'm here to talk to you. I want to talk to you don't you don't care? I know if I was in Dec than it would if I was sick. You want to talk to him? But you don't want to talk to me? Yeah, you're not sick. I don't want to. Like I'm looking at a Cochlear trying to go after so that's fine. There and then I'm irrelevant. Hello and hello dark friends. Welcome to another episode of not Well, I'm Bobby I'm I'm cut. He's cutting his gem. I actually am cut I'm cut a little acorn. It's a little acorn cut. Right now it's an acorn now it's cold out it's a full eight quarts you felt it earlier you know it's one you felt mine it was like oh, I don't remember

Uber pain darts like a little like oh and it's like ooh oh you know I'm saying like there's no cock there. Oh slay corn. I felt it earlier I thought it was a clip as well and there's some straight guys I'm like I mentioned names but they were like

oh, I need to be able to get a penis pump like sorry guys a little dicks they're straight guys do not actually a fan girl but I'm actually fan I just want to point out that like a lot of the straight guys were hanging out with her they're like little they're not hard right now. I'm like I don't want you hard I don't want to see I want you to be soft because I need to get a fluff I was like fluff I can see I got that same you don't need a flush and said he needed a pump did not need the pump. I just want to call out that straight guy named that we did not need

to call it somebody and his name is not that but he is Dickens probably little but it's probably soccer ball. Well that's all you need. And honestly like I don't know why strikers are I don't want any guys so like I'm realizing down a little ducks are hot.

I love little ducks. Wow, girl. I do or I'd hate myself. Oh, I mean that's the truth. And that's the honest got on us. Now these days, the fuck? Yep. And that's okay. That's okay. Acorn, baby. Baby corn, baby acorn. Bobby. Now we've been drinking all day long. We were two weeks ago when we were like we're gonna be we're not good. We're gonna be Well, we went to our favorite brewery Trinity Holy Trinity. Trinity. And we're and I'm part of the loyalty club. Because of course, and we actually I found out that you were ahead of me in the point that she goes, Oh, well, Jim's already signed up and I was like, Are you I have a lot of points. And we decided to name ourselves the Ultra Ball droids and I think it's just awesome. That's only us because the other people have way more points than us. They're like nah, I found that out. Yeah, when someone said she had 46,000 points I was like what we didn't make they go in my dishes

100,000 Yeah, it's probably like the neighbor probably guy that we saw the gym

and I fucking hate that. Oh, we saw it pink take out a gym floor. How do you feel about looking into Windows? Like is that obsessed? Same? absolutely obsessed like and I can talk to that same like I have absolutely when I was in Chicago. I was like, oh like when you're a free city and you're up here's the city and there's like people drinking I'll tell you something. Oh my god. You just brought me back to something when I was a little kid and I'm talking like 1011 years right? We went to a beach called Bo hookin Bahia Beach in Florida. Look it up in there he a beach. Oh my god. Wait, are you serious? I swear to fucking christ Are you fucking kidding me John Sanibel Island is like a white trash area over here beaches like that's where Sunday that's where Sun dollars our Sun dollars are there nothing where there was a lot of snow here beach Are you fucking kidding we're gonna Sarasota like we go to the stop what's up beach sir Bradenton beach. Are you owe me? I swear to God, you've been here baby trim. Okay, so I want to be here as a child. And when I hear you know, I am freaking out that you've been there. God right outside the pool area, there was a little wall little clay wall that you could climb up to look into the pool area. Instead I would climb up the clay wall and look into the bedroom of the people on the first floor by the pool area. And when I looked in one day, we're on a little trap. I saw a woman laying completely unclothed on her back on the bed near the pool area way and then I saw a man come away but he a beach is Yep. And Sam. Yep. It's like not on the ocean. It's like in a bay. But it's on the water. It's on the water. Yeah, we've been there now. Now. Is that the only be here beach? I need to know because this is where I was for wide. I mean that's on the beach. That's literally on the golf. It's where I was on the golf. Well, it is it's actually in the bay technically in Tampa Bay. It's still Tampa Bay, but it's so where it's facing faces the golf.

Sure, but there's still Tampa Bay there. So for y2k, I was at Mahir beach till we were there. Can you imagine if we like ran into each other and we're like, hey, Claire, like hey, Claire, and then we moved on out right now.

The game did and we were like freaking out but hit beach wasn't that great, but it was like if you're on dollars great. Really square friendly. There's tennis courts. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Honey, tons. So I went into this room I see a naked lady on a bed and then I see a guy a hot daddy walk out her bathroom with a hard deck. And he walked over this girl and got on top of her in the bedroom and I'm just standing on this. I have a tiny little little penis little 11 year old hard on a little a little little acorn. That's a little corn a little picture to a little Protrader but hasn't gone through puberty yet. Right? So it's like a little baby or corn. It was like an acorn but it was like I was a little hard. I remember feeling like if this is what the Hershey kid I still look forward to. It was a Hershey kiss with a little paper sticking out. Oh no. Oh yeah, it was one of those peppermint flavors you you always pre calm. Are you pre comer? Like just mad earlier? I pre comm a lot. So like it's a thing where I can pre come to the point where I don't need lube. I can fuck someone without lube. I mean, it's my I hate pre calm. I also like a good thing I have fucked man without lube because they are bottoming and so you just put your thumb on their asshole and then I just rub my dick on their asshole lubed up with my pre calm and then go in. It's that much.

guy never pick

up. What I don't why it's not that I've ever done it. No, it's there. Yeah, you don't you know, you get a guy going those when they start pre coming. You're like, okay, we're there. So much. Like, if you come you you know, I'm not. I've always done that about you. And like, I haven't tried to make fun of you. But like I know your problem you have though. No, you were upset when I said a job. I'm fat. So whatever. When you're fat. It's like pre calm. Okay. What happened to your soundboard? They're gonna tell you that I'm a whore. No, I have things to talk about. I do too. Oh, first of all, I want to say thank you for everybody came out to our event. Thank you for coming to Sunday. funday because we had a fun time. And honestly, you get the points and you get the deck. Yep. So see you next time. Now. What Ma'am, ma'am? Do you have a lot of stuff you stop, but your eyes are so red. And that's fine. I just start my contact. So that's why it's not about the marijuana or the alcohol. It's more or less like, I really hurt my eyes. One thing I want to go over right now. And I thought you would help what is the Grindr etiquette in responding to like texts or like messages? Like, what do we have to do? Because I know always concern I get some and I'm like, I don't want to message a man. But then you were like, you have to just amaze right? You have to you have to be nice. Yeah, to be nice. And I'm like, but I don't want to be nice, like, Fuck this. Oh. So this ah, I'm not actually a fan. And I'm not. So what do we need to do with Grindr? Responses? Like when people messaging me like, Hey, how's your night? They're ugly. And you're like, You're ugly as fuck. I don't want to I don't want it. What do you do? What do you do? And I don't want to Well, that's something like a proper etiquette because for me, you're I just ignore now you don't you told me Well, you have to respond to now there's two separate, you will cuz I knew you were gonna get more hits than me. So I was like, You need to respond. Because there's a lot. For me. It's like four out of 10. And yours is like four out of 10. Yeah, exactly. I'm getting all the response. I'm gonna be honest. I'm not gonna lie. You're getting a lot of hits. I'm getting a lot of hits. Do you have your little Ayers Jr. Names? No. But do you have your little RNs? Yeah, they're the hardest picture artists now I pull in all the trade with

honey, you're hot. You think you're ugly and not relevant and really, you can pull? That's what makes them sad about you sometimes kind of say this. I'm just gonna lose it when I tell you that I'm a whore. And that's the truth. Now, oh my god, you actually are really like a really good looking person and you have really good sex appeal. The problem is, the problem is,

for me a sissy bench. Are you calling me a sissy bench? Not necessarily but I think you don't know what you can bring to the table. Or you think everything has to be like a hole or a mouth and really you have a lot more to offer than just like throwing your hole in your mouth. Two people owe me a sissy bit. Ah, it's true. I am about to sob you're about to cry. Yeah, cry. I'm having an emotion. Oh, babe, why are you upset? Oh my God. Is this real? I think it's real. Tell us how you feel. Why are you upset? Tell us why you're upset. I just been having a lot of motions this week. Do you think that you're being too forward? And no, okay. Do you think I'm bringing forward enough? I think you're not being forward. No, probably. Connie, I think you'd be learned at this table if you wanted to. Why are you upset? Tell me why you're getting upset. I don't know. I just had a lot of thoughts this week. About what though? Like what's the consciousness?

Hi, gay.

Sorry, I sound like me. Okay, so the day ends and Daya This is a day girl that's true. What was that sound? You did? It was like I don't know how I did that.

Now Wow, girl.

I've had a lot of thoughts. Art but your game sad. I am was pretty for hours. I've had a lot of thoughts about consciousness. Do you feel like you're unconscious? Do you feel like you're on gone? No, today I was actually on the verge of tears. The entire day was like, okay, a lot of pressure. Now, so I'm driving. I'm driving to volleyball for gay volleyball league sakes. are checking your headphones getting my hat on. So I can be like, cool. You don't look cool. You look ugly. Um, so Wow, girl. Now so here he is with his ugly hat on. Um, so I'm driving to volleyball and I'm thinking, I thought about consciousness. And I realized like being alive of being alive. I thought so we have this idea of who we are and everything we exist with everything we interact with, like it's in our realm of understanding and we like reach out we understand it. It's in our thoughts. And I was like But it starts is nothing you start as like a little dot just a tiny little dot when you're born you have no consciousness and then as you turn three you start to make make memories and the consciousness grows. And you're like mommy feeds me daddy feeds me and she grows and grows and then you're like friends with people and I in undergrad High School Baba Baba Baba Grata Dada through, and so, so then you get to this point where like, it's not growing anymore. You just start to be you're an adult, it's over. Like you're not growing, you're not meeting new people, you're not expanding, you're just kind of existing. And then you get to an age where it starts to shrink. And it's like less and less people your friends more more people you know, have died. And then it comes back to just being a.as you die. Just like this small little boom, your your arrow there, your eye and your consciousness over you have this consciousness for like 80 years and then it's gone. But it's gone. And no one picked it up. No one got it. Do you know? I don't know for sure. But I think it's gone.

Senators, I want to think that like your consciousness and your being Are you and like your body is just Whoa, switch. I got a bad draw. Now, like if I could have chose a better host.

chosen to pick a better host. Instead, you picked a host like a fat host. You picked a host to carry three I picked the hostess. Like little white cream filled Debbie. I'm like 100% guy pick that sound. But it is I think I think you expand for all this time as you're growing. And then you get older and she starts to like, go back. I just really feel like we're and then when you die, it's over. Like, we're over. Do you pass on your consciousness to someone? I think you pass it on to yourself. I think you see what's happening. And I think you come back. Okay, and you keep learning lessons as you go and like a lot of people don't you won't remember this life. So, what do we get out of this life thing? You just keep fucking recycling. Like, can we just actually I feel like we've met people who are no longer recycling and are thriving. And I have met some people. Yeah, I really feel like they've already done this once. And I know and they've now and they're like on a second law they're not gonna let you know that they know and they don't really necessarily know they know but like the way they handle situations. I'm like, I'm looking at you for sweetie. Oh, you've been through this. So you were on Titanic. Oh, so like so you survived this life and you're doing better than I was show and a show. It's time but it is it really is true. Like, I'm not kidding you like I'm serious. I just like but like it makes me wanna cry? Right? Because it's so true that this week where I just said like, very what Mark Are you leaving on the world? None. Right? Does that freak you out? Oh, no, not at all. Not at all. I don't need to. So what are we doing? No one's gonna listen to it. What's the point of us? I mean, see what's one of anything? Look I'm not saying this is podcast I'm saying anything nothing. There is no point I honestly feel like there's no point sorry it's a really deep dark thought if you really Hi my our listeners now we want you to get we love you the music, the music. We're gonna cue some music for you. We're gonna have a moment of silence I love you listeners, but like to be honest, but to be honest. Nothing Nothing in life has a mean think about your life. And I think I'm being I think we make the meaning that we are the meaning period we make the meaning and that's it right? It's either you make it or there is no meaning period about the fucking Flavelle period. You're not actually freaking out. I need to come back to a cut my chairs gay. Come back to

hi gay.

Come back. Come back.

Hi gay.

I'm here. Okay, good. How many Hi gays do you need to come back? You really do have to realize like, at some point, you realize you're like, No, none of this has meaning but what we create, we could you were like, You know what, my friends me and my friends like this is important. So this is what we're going to believe is important. Me and my friends decided that we're not gonna We're These are rules and we're not gonna hook up with these people. But we're gonna go with these. What are those? From though? We've made them like you make them up as you get older, you crave some leaders. If you can't do that, or this at my house. You can't do this in the hot tub. You can't see so he goes on our way. Oh, yeah, we just create everything, all of it all the meaning everything is made up. But we've decided what are the boundaries? What do you mean areas government government is scary to me because it's like people can be like, Oh, no. No, I'm done. Like, I'm not gonna deal with that bullshit. Oh, sorry, Chet. Oh. I have something else to talk about. I've lot to talk about this thing pissed me off today. So as we know, I'm in a game. I'm in a game volleyball League. Hi, gay. Girl. I'm there today. And we are playing this game. I'm Jared today. And we're Where are your friends for? Where they got? Why did they come to the brewery? Because you're there they hate you. So me I'm sorry. I don't give a fuck. So we're at the volleyball game and on the opposite team are two straight guys. Now let me tell you how this goes. So we have the gays the lesbians all the fun people just like hanging out playing. They don't give a fuck. We're having fun. You mess up. Oh, well. You miss Hit. Oh, well. The other team wins. Okay, great. But the straight guys guys, not actually a fan decided to panic every time they mess up. And so I called this one guy was like, Oh, he's the tip Queen because he kept tipping the ball, which means like a light hit, which is like drops onto the floor now instead of hitting the ball in the front row. So I was like, oh, it's the tip Queen center. Okay, no, anyway, he's a hitter. So I call him the tip Queen because he kept tipping but he messed up a tip. And so he tipped the ball into the net. And so he fucked up and they lost the point. We the team that there his team lost the point so he got pissed at me because I was like, oh the tip queen. And so he got pissed. Wait, oh shit. Oh, total shit talker. give a fuck. Oh, yes baby. Give him to me. So like, I'm talking to people. I was like, Oh, the tip. Oh, pussy. Tip queen. And he saw straight so he got pissed calling be called the towel. I love it. I love that tip queen. And he got pissed because he's straight. Fucking queen. So we're the next day like sweetie Yeah, honey, you're in the gay League. You're a faggot. That person gay by all this guy. I was like tip queen. And so it gets so mad. The next hit. He hits it right at me on purpose to your buzzy right on my pussy. But I popped it up. I don't even get I was like, Oops, did I get it? Did you shuffle it out? I got it. He got we got the point he was so I would have been like beggars. So what's up Tippie No, I did I was like oops did that but I go to the tip Queen get mad. You made this up. I made a made up thing I made that term up this game. This today I think yesterday I was like tip Queen because he kept telling me he's been called that. Like you're a little tipper he was he is all day he was so that's okay guys anytime I want I want all our little dick queens to know little dick big tech little intimate medium deck. It doesn't matter what you are they don't matter what you are. What matters is what matters is what's inside your deck. No, honestly it doesn't matter. It's so weird ad is love. What are you talking about? Diggs is love um, I want to tell a little Queen something Oh,

I just feel like people have a little deck so they need to know I have some things to you know, do you want to go now? So you want me to go next step. So something I want to talk about, honestly was now, let's talk about high school for a second again. I'm gonna put the high school girls. I'm gonna talk about the cheerleaders. I want to talk about the Powerpuff. Girls, I want to have the girls that are popular.

Okay. Now, I know that so

your reaction is I feel like I wanted to be honest, I'm over it but is it weird that I still look at like the class of 2002 Facebook page and say like, Oh my god. Picture so grainy and like, very well, I can't tell who you are. Karen. But you're still jerking off to I hate all of them. Why? For no reason that just came out of nowhere. Yeah, I hate all the popular girls. That's what I really want to say right now. I hate the popular girls from high school. Now today they can be really great people and really good friends and like, I'd be fine with them. You wouldn't but high school. I fucking

you little suck fared suck there. Honey, are you gonna vomit? Now? I'm smoke weed every day. And that's true. Clearly Do I just had a moment with the high school girls because we have our tie because our 20 year reunion is this year and it changed my game my 20 year reunion. It's this year for high school. Oh, you already won your final one. I can't tell you something. Don't go to your 20 You're better than that. I'm not going to tell you the truth but when I see some shit that people once we will post a show and you're like first of all Becky me you weren't hot then you're not hot now but they were hot then were they some are really hot and the Prime Now that was a straight gay and the problem is back then the streets were lights weren't the light wasn't good. The light wasn't bad the lighting was good. That lighting on food by the way, I'm starving. Hmm.

But you never had a problem the high school girls like do you like when they're like so popular girls are making the reunion so like oh my god, we're gonna get the guestlist I'm like I want to fucking punch you like I hate you. So this for the 20 year reunion. And if I'm gonna go

when I've muted those threads and I don't have Facebook for a reason. That's why I don't have Facebook. I don't want to go I don't want people reaching out I don't want to know about them. I don't need to see them. I don't even know about their like I hate you they're fucking families and their five kids are ugly as husband that was hot. But you were an ugly person then you're an ugly personnel. I don't you're ugly. But I didn't know that until I left now that's how I feel true about these fucking straight cuts. Queen. Union why I don't want to do good. You hate reunions? I haven't been to one for a reason. Okay, and that's I hate so should all gays not gonna release them as a gay as a gay you shouldn't have caught every queers boy.

Unless I've only had herpes one time,

then you should go.

And you should go. Honestly, if you have something to prove. Like if you're an astronaut, or if you're like a famous like millionaire like go that you don't I mean, if you're in the queer group, go if you're successful as fuck if you're not

just skip it, just go. Because there's never anything good coming from it. That's what I want to point out is that you're go and you're like, Oh, these people who used to hate me are here. Cool. Why do I want to see them? I didn't want to see them in high school. I woke up every day. Hmm. I don't want to see them. 20 years from now. I don't want to give them the time to ask for forgiveness. I don't want to give them the time to ask would you forgive them? Cool now? Absolutely not. So basic, no trauma? Shama? Shama. If somebody came to me and said, Hey, you're gonna lose it when I tell you that I'm a whore. If someone said that, I believe it. If I said to you, like, Hey, I'm really sorry, I treat you so bad. Like, I was just trying to be cool, and it's not cool. I'd love to be your friend and get to know you. I'd say thank you and I walk away. I go, Okay, thank you. And of course, I'm saying goodbye. I'm still in this phase where I'm like, I want everyone to like me. I look at these. These people are whores, their horns and their ugly head

herpes. Well, twice wise, and I hate them

to be honest with you. I love them. I know they're ugly. I hate No offense. We're just trying to get everybody go look at your high school graduation class. Look at some of the men and they're hideous, they're hideous. And not only look at yourself in the mirror and go Thank You, Jesus. Are you I love you because you look hot. And all of our non listeners are ugly. Sorry. Go ahead, big boy. I would tell him that I would say go ahead big well so you're in agreement with me about the whole like reunion thing like I just don't I don't think he should ever go to reunion. Because what are you reunion about? The fact I could never been part of their clubs. Like why do you want to cut what? What is it? A union is to celebrate what are we celebrate? I want to prove everyone wrong. What are we celebrating? Don't be like I had a 3030 3.0 GPA, and I might have been a fucking merit student or I would never I never got a fucking 4.0 But that ring so mean to me Huawei hate me. I love you, honey. All right, I want to know something from childhood that you remember because I can't wait for remember so. Okay. When I was in fourth grade, this was a big thing. You're a little horn fourth grade. I was. Were you would you been? I was getting hit in the ball. I was getting kicked in the balls and the ball was really bad in one ball. Both balls. A big kicker. You like that? No, I didn't like it. You're like just oh, I'm popular. Now. I was unpopular. I was made fun of every day. How was that popular? Sorry, honey. I think you're because you're popular now. You're real. I was really sucking a lot of Dick and fourth grade. Um, so here's something that I really wanted in fourth grade that it wasn't allowed to have. And I finally just stole caboodle. Do you know what a caboodle is? It's a little plastic box box that it's like heart shaped. And it has like little layers. Like shelves. There's little areas where you put like pencil, whatever you want. Whatever you wear a little jewelry jewelry or candy. Jewelry bracelets, candy. Cell phone can de Chase steaks. Oh my god, geez, dough. Tamagotchis always fit. I know you had a towel guy. And so I I really wanted a caboodle as I was growing up in fourth grade. And you ever get one? I got one. And that was all good guy one. No, it wasn't your mom. I took my queer no one likes me queer. So I took my mom to the dollar store and I was like, Listen, please, I need a caboodle. For caboodle. That's embarrassing. My whole life is embarrassing if you haven't realized, let me see bitch. Like hello. Do you realize who I am like everything is embarrassing, but it's weird. I think that's why I don't I'm actually an embarrassing freak. Like I'm literally a freak of nature. You're not I was bullied into submission for my entire life. You're actually like normal. That's not but not. You think I am. You're so weird. Yeah, I'm afraid are so out there. Bam. I can't even handle it. I'm so cool. Jeffery. Like honey are like the least freaky person I know. So anyways, I gotta Caboodle and I filled it up with everything I needed. Apps that include chapstick, lip balm, all the shit. Did you pay your nails when you were a child? I was not allowed. Boy you wanted to? Yes. I wanted to be a woman. So obviously. So is that still the case? Yes. Is it really like, truthfully look at me in the eye. That's why I say look at me in the eye. I just want to know you want to know if I have a policy or not? I know. I know. You don't have a policy. I grabbed your deck tonight. It was hard. You did it. It was it was hard. It was hard. I felt your hard. That was not hard. That was semi it was semi the whole night. I'm always semi Why do you think in pre come through my underwear? That was semi some Hi. So a pre come check. Are you pre coming? So? Yes, a little bit. It's drying? It's fine. It'll go well, I'll take a picture for our Twitter because Twitter. Oh no. Well, we really shouldn't not everybody loves your apps on Twitter and my ass together. Let's go to the question the leak. Okay, you're such an asshole. You don't care? Let me do the question of the way. Okay, the question of the week Question of the week. How to dress a little less straight. Oh, hi, not well. Throughout my life I've often passed for straight and I really don't want to. I've been told by some gay friends. My attire is very straight centric, and even some hookups have commented that I wore straight chi underwear. Sometimes I confused by this because I just wear clothing for men or whatever is comfortable. I need some wardrobe ideas to help outwardly express my queerness but I have no idea how to begin. For reference. I like wearing outdoor clothing, gym clothing office wear for work and casual comfy clothes. Honestly, I'm willing to try anything I just hate the idea of always appearing underdressed or straight dressed when I want to feel more like a gay man. You know, first angle first. I gotta say I've got a lot. I'm concerned. And I'm a little bit upset that we are so concerned about what we're wearing. Gay guys are dumb, by the way, just as left why I love all the gay guys out here. But like every man is kind of dumb. So you're like so concerned about dressing really great. And some of these straight? Are these gay guys. Bitch. I wear like the worst clothes Like, look at me, Bobby looks so disgusting. I've been more turned off and when I look at Bobby So yeah, he's bad he looks I mean he smells bad and he's wearing strikers like beef and cheese smells like a warrior's beef. And now if you want some beef and cheese you can I see I see a lot of gay guys who are uncomfortable. Here's the big problem. They're uncomfortable with themselves. And so they're not comfortable with how they dress. And so what they do is they retreat into I have to wear out doilies people wear gym clothing, I have to wear khakis and a button up like my straight co workers in the office or my gay friend. And this is the problem is like, you don't have to dress like a straight man every time you go out. Like you can wear that colorful t shirt or the colorful hoodie. You can wear the fun tie pants you can wear whatever you want wear baggy pants and a black shirt. Yeah, matter. And so like when people see you and say like you're wearing straight guy clothing, like they're bobbing there. It's not about the clothing, they're probably commenting on how you look uncomfortable in your body. And so I would say feel comfortable in yourself first and dress however you want. Because I know a lot of I know a lot of gay guys who dress what I would call straight and I think they're just as hot and I hook up with them just as often. And I fuck them just as often Wow girl. And so if you want to go by my standards, which are very low then you would wear whatever you want, but you need to be comfortable like if people you know the comfort level, but I know I can tell so like if somebody didn't want to like it or not if they're uncomfortable with you and not worry about whatever else like oh, oh he's not dressed in this cardigan like he's not a real gay then I'm not a real fucking gay then I'm not fine. Give it up you. I don't care and but yet, and but yeah, yeah, we can go lesbian bar and be cool. Do you know I'm saying? Do we tell the listeners that you have jock ready to go? We did. Okay, once you tell us what last night was it? I'm like 100% Gay. So last night I heard there was this thing called jock night at a local bar called a wall. And I ordered a bunch of jocks on Amazon because I don't have any sort of cue because I'm old fashioned. You know? I'm old fashioned. I have fun so what I don't there's no you about plus it fits. First of all, everything's what floss everything. Like a boxer brief. They're like, oh, where's the boxer babes? So I say bread so like I can't find a boxer briefs Stephen the whole so I ordered a bunch of jocks unfortunately, the Calvin Klein don't fit and so we're small i know i ordered large and I put them on No no, no, no, no, I'm too fat.

Fuck them.

Yeah, literally. I was like I don't fit into a large I don't even know what my bigger friends like Bobby fit into a 414 is three times x three excellent numeric. It's like 4x a jock that fit? I found a jack the fit. What's the brand? I don't remember the back. Yeah. Is I think it might be I think it is. I actually do think it ran okay, this big thick band and so I went there in that however my date was so blacked out. We had to go home because he was seven sheets to the wind. And that's embarrassing. I'm sad for you. That's the thing. And that's where I'm kind of torn because like when do you just like someone and when are they like a mess? And you're like I can't deal with it. Well it's like what do you want to know this person? Like is he just a patsy or just the deck or is it just a deck or is there more and there's more hands like sometimes you want there to be more but like they're not able to stop and they're not able on there? Because they're not ready to get on there. And that's a thing so and I you feel really do you feel guilty I feel used in the BS you feel used? Yeah now they used nine year like my favorite band but oh yeah, I gotta please use I am so I see your whole I see your pussy kid in the fucking row in the red. Okay, I want to play something okay, it's amazing hear oh my god you're both laughing I love it so you played a long game that's embarrassing as hell because I don't know Emoni like that and Columbus. But it's not a common thing. Oh, I'll tell you it's not me but all account. So it's someone we know. Maybe that's what Fuck about the all accounts. Oh fight. Some dad was fucking Oh, Danny. Oh my balls against your hall it's like okay, like, but do you think that person was faking? I don't think so like I really I'm wondering if like they were pretending to be that way but they kind of felt that they were turned they were turned on by they may even turn on so much they were like Oh fun good daddy. Oh fuck I do that all the time. Same I do that all the time. Where am I? Oh, just so. Oh, so I want your hot load and then I'm just like, girl in my mind I'm literally like I'm just laying there like yeah, we're gonna talk about later. No I'm like Are you gonna come? Are we just gonna have to like pretend? Like literally half the time I'm like yeah, I'll come later. Actually I'll come on my own time. It's fine don't worry about me. I say that all the time same I tell her I tell my fiance I'm like, I'll be goodly. You know what you came? I'll come later. So you want to? You want to know, like the last time I checked with my fiance. He was like, Oh, I forgot you like to come on your own. I was like, right. Thank you. Bye. I'll make you come though. No, I Oh, I made him come immediately. I was like, You go clean up and then I'm gonna get on my phone and look at what I want to look at. And then out. What's your favorite thing to look at? Um, I look let's look at your Google History. Drako history with gems. I like to get straight guys. So search history. Yeah, I like straight guys and their girlfriends like straight guys when they jerk off to hussies porn. I like straight guys who have their only fans and all they do is jerk off and I like watching muscle straight guys. I'm like 100% gay. I also like when young amateur husbands share their wives with with their best friends. So, so like you got a straight guy who's like 26 with his best buddy who's 26 They just went hunting for the day. And they're just hunting all day. They're sweaty, then you come home shower. They're hoping for some good food. They come on to the wife, she's made a good dinner. She put it she put out a full spread. And then she's on that table. She's spread out. And little Randy he brings over Randy Randy brings over Jimmy and Jimmy and Randy fucker. They're friends. Of course you're just friends. I don't fuck my roommates. I don't touch decks, but they'll touch holes. And that's what and that's what I learned. That's gone. And that's on God. And I'm sorry. I like Randy and Jim touching dicks and their wives pussy. Gay. Sorry. I don't give a fuck. Off to Randy and Dale. Exactly. I didn't Rand and that's fine. And man. One thing I had to bring up are weather predictions. Oh, fuck that. They're so bad. So annoyed. So here's my major annoyance. Okay. A weather prediction is a prediction. Right? Right. It's not an exact science. It's not like, Oh, my God, the weather it's going to be exactly 37 degrees. percent. So you got to get right a percentage. It's a it's a range. So when it is they say it's gonna be 34 degrees. So like, it could be 31 degrees. It could be 37 degrees, right? It's a range, but this is the middle of it. Yeah. Most likely to be this. So when they're like, Oh, you're gonna get four inch of snow. You could get one you could get seven. Right? But four is the most likely the middle and so I'm tired of fucking I am tired of listening. Mostly straight men tell me about how they're better than the weatherman. And they're always fucking telling me. Oh my God, I'll take a bet that we don't get more than four inches tomorrow. I'll take a bet we're gonna get three. We're gonna get three and a half. I'm like, I don't want to take a bet because they're making a prediction. They're not saying for sure we're gonna get exactly four inches. We could get seven we could get one. And I was but I still believe the weatherman more than you they went to college for this. You're a fucking dumbass from rural Ohio. Why would I believe you? Oh, oh, I want to take a fucking bed. I want to fucking get bed. I don't want your bed. I don't need your bed. You fucking walk away from me you fat as whore? That's how I feel. How do you feel honey? What I feel like I don't even know. That was like I grew up your right side. I'm upset because I grew up with a father who was like this. I grew up I'm currently I currently have a fiance who's like this who every time we have a storm coming. I'll bet we don't even get half in in its gaslighting. And I'm like, Why do you want to bet? What's the better balance like oh, you want to bet that that prediction is not 100% accurate? They don't want you want to bet. Okay, go ahead and bet you're gonna let go. So they always betting against it. They always bet against it. Always. They never say never say that small dick energy, energy. They might have bigger decks when they're small. He doesn't but that's average. I just feel smarter energy to constantly say the weatherman is wrong. Or I agree or weather or oh, I'm from Cleveland like snow like we're in real snow. Well, we're not

absolutely not I've been gas lit all week. And it was actually one of my topics I really want to go off on it but I don't know if I really do now but gaslighting is fucking terrible like when your boss comes in and tells you they're saying we an inch an hour from right now.

Honey I wish you'd get an inch an hour I wish I was like you never in your life so I'm seeing her like okay, like what's gonna happen is give me like 20 inches there's only hit zero inches you know I mean like I don't know what's gonna happen getting zero so stop trying to gaslight me. Stop trying to gaslight me and I'm like 100% Gay. Stop trying to gay. Stop. Gay. My God. I feel like I'm gonna stop trying to gaslight Hi gay. I mean gaslit gaslighting. I'm not actually a fan. So try gay. Are you okay? No, no, I have no idea what I'm saying. We don't either zero honestly all the listeners like z Vega is he heard hot tub or was he going straight to bed? I can tell. So fucking fat anyways. One thing I wanted to bring up, bring him up, bitch. I hate when Easter bunnies come and give me chocolate. Wow, that was really truly evil. I want to talk about how recently, mainly the Republicans are banning books and free speech from Oh my God. And so there is a bill that just passed in Florida called the don't say gay bill, where you're not allowed to talk about homosexuality, bisexuality or gender identity in schools at all in any way. So if someone if some student comes up to a teacher and says like, I'm struggling because my parents hate me, but I think I might be gay. And I don't know like what to do. The teacher is banned legally from talking about it or helping the student because they're not allowed to say the word gay. They're not to talk about it. And at all. And I find out you're talking about being gay, you're done. You're getting a phone call from school. Exactly your parents are getting your parents will get called. And so they tell you, you will be outed by your school. It will be ruined, absolutely ruined. So being kicked out abandoned kind of fucked up. But it's not just happening in Florida like everywhere from school district to school district, right. And there's all these books being banned that people, gay people, Jewish people, black people, Asians, basically everybody who's not white, straight, white Christian males. Other than that, we got to move on. I'm only talking about straight male Christian males. straight white Christian males, right but what if we just like keep recording the episode as if we are straight white Christian males so are we all your race or Oh, no, I have more but you just give me like one more thing. Okay. One thing that I also want to bring up because it was a very traumatizing event, so you're always traumatize. Wow. Okay. I mean, I feel like it though. I mean, so much fun. is wanting to bring up a dream I had aware Bobby and I were being held hostage and a religious group. And so we were kidnapped by a religious duo. They were another Joe as opposed to us as well. But he really just a mother and a father. And they are trying to they took our phones. They took everything we had. So we are in a camp in the middle of nowhere in the woods. We're locked away. Okay, so we have like a place to live and they give us food but shitty foods, right? It's like rice, oatmeal. It's stuff you don't want yeah, and we're not allowed to have sex with each other. Like, Clay ground. Yeah, we sleep on the ground. Clay What? kalite like CLA Why are you okay? Oh, Calais ground? You sleep on the Calais ground playground? Playground? Are you Oh, I'm fucking like I'm you're mad at me. Are you sleeping on the playground and we are literally everyday we're just hating our lives. Now we found out from a fellow person. On the other day, we found out from a fellow day because we all do X ray even though we knew we weren't, we found out from a day that our phones were in a certain room. So they knew the room that they were in. So you and I, we went to that room when we broke in one night when we're supposed to be sleeping. And so we, we got our phone, but then we weren't sure where like, if we send out a text message, will they track those? Because we were like, We don't want to be discovered, like if we send a message like SOS help us out. But then they track that message. They're gonna beat us up and kill us before. Save us like we handled each other. So I wasn't sure if we should text so I said don't tax tax. All we did was turn on location services and hope that somebody family or someone would see our location services, because we knew our family was looking for us, right. We went back to sleep after we turned on location. Somehow we left our phones in that room. The next the next day, we're doing our chores. We're doing activities. We here. What are the chores? Oh, farming, farming in the honey, we're in a commune we're farming obviously. I mean, what do you think we're doing? We're not having fun. We're not playing basketball. So we're farming carrots and onions and like subsistence crops substances. So we are farming and we start hearing helicopters and we know we know it. We're know in Vietnam, and someone is coming to rescue us. We're in Vietnam. I don't think we're gonna be

are you okay? No,

he's really European pines in the background like I don't think we're in Vietnam. I feel like Vietnam Vietnam

Thank you. Yes, I was. I was I was gonna sit in the back of a fucking van.

Okay, you can a truck truck you were in a truck. It was a Chevy and it was like your friends and neighbors but anyway my trauma Yeah. Funny. Okay.

Gotta go you so much.

Oh, you're just an asshole tonight. Even a towel and I know you do baby. What do they need to do to subscribe? They need to listen and subscribe and I need to feel that day. Get in the hot tub so I'm gonna rub it Okay, wow no I needed water now. Thank you for listening to another episode of not well. Thank you. So as your friends share with your friends and shows your friends Tex and honestly next week Bobby won't be so blacked out. I just want to send honestly this is Jim install the whole night Jeff Ah, really? I'm sorry about the party ever went? I made everyone play darts. You're welcome. I am so con mouth right now. My mouth doesn't work. Okay. Okay, good night. Love you