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Dec. 29, 2021

Well Hung Stockings

Well Hung Stockings

***This episode is brought to you by Fucking Good Soap***

"What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult."

- Sigmund Freud.

How do we get back that inner child inside us all?
Imagine a world where we all lived in the now,
Focused solely on happiness and carefree living.
...you can. 

We also talk about: 

  • Bidet
  • Christmas Spirit 
  • Money 
  • Expectations
  • Gifts 
  • Turn Offs 
  • Anger 
  • Teeth 
  • Braces 
  • Sex
  • Gay stuff 
  • Gooning 
  • Edging 
  • Penis Play 
  • Dick 
  • Erection 
  • Tantra 
  • Mediation 
  • Straight guys dicks 
  • Gay Twitter
  • Gay Columbus Ohio 
  • Gay Columbus Ohio Twitter 
  • Swingers clubs 
  • Straight for Pay (not gay for pay) 
  • Drag Race 
  • RuPaul
  • Bob The Drag Queen 
  • Straight Contestant 
  • Maddy Morphosis
  • Alien Jesus 
  • Mars 
  • Past 
  • Particles
  • Atoms
  • Neutrons 
  • Bobby Talks Science 
  • High inspiration 
  • Inner Child 
  • Therapy 
  • Being a kid again 
  • AOL Chat Rooms 
  • Gay panic 
  • New Years 
  • POD
  • Youth of a nation 
  • Masterbation 
  • Jerking off 

*******************************************************************

Alien Jesus Story
Straight RuPaul Drag Queen Story
Inner Child Info 

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Transcript
Bobby:

This week on not well is the Christmas spirit gone finding your inner child straight drag race contestant Kooning Bobby explaining science alien Jesus Columbus Ohio's porn stars do we Haiti quality?

Jim:

Well, Jim's getting his drinks I'm gonna tell you about fucking good so fucking good soap.com use the code not well go check it out they have so here are some of the sentence man bar pure lavender, ginger and lime. fuck boy my personal favorite coconut and cream cucumber melon. They also have body butter. Go get body butter. Okay, it's the best thing ever. If you're dry like me.

Unknown:

You need it if you have a beard and like me, you need their beard oil. They also have all kinds of other shit including fucking good lip balm. Are you kidding? And they have face goop scrubs, scrubs, Sugar scrubs, like fucking good stuff. Calm code not well. That's fucking good. soap.com

Bobby:

Oh, that was your welcome to another show. Welcome to another episode of not Well, we are not well, we are not. We are one body. one body in Christ. Hello everybody. Welcome to another episode of not well. We are literally going off not the rails. But we are just going off the cuff right now we are this isn't off. We haven't even had like a normal. We didn't have like a little pre like Hey, what are we gonna talk? repre? No, pray. We're just no pre calm. We're just going right for it. Big load.

Jim:

Alright, loads. Big loads today. Yay. I'm Jim. And I'm Bobby. And we have Rosae chairs. Oh, okay. Well, I spelled it a little bit. I don't know if you notice something in the studio. Jim. Let me take a look at something new. There's a Van Gogh poster. Yes. But that's just like for me, it'd be inspired. Up college dorm room fridge. Now, he never went to college. So we got him afraid she I can think he's in college. He's literally living like a college life right now. It's like a dorm room. This room. He gets high. He has a little mini fridge.

Bobby:

Oh my god. Michael's mom came up here. And I was like, Oh God, Are we anywhere? Like everywhere? Then I was like, Oh, it says I'm so fucking high right there on the wall. Okay, great. Don't you like my little like as you have your

Jim:

shrine have like fucking good soap. You got some fucking gets a body butter. Honey. I am fucking high pass and tarot cards. You're really living the college life Trina winters

Bobby:

fucking album.

Jim:

Now I do have to say I'm concerned that your calendar says July 97. Well, listener. Yeah, I saw my friend Casey. She's a listener. She's used to be my coworker but not anymore. She had to leave me but anyway,

Bobby:

she was like, how far down the rabbit hole of this story we call we're doing Casey but she got me this calendar thing she actually made fun of me. She's like, next time you look at it, it'll be March it'll say December 22. I'm like Yeah, probably. But it's because that's the pineapple. That's what she thought of

Jim:

all right. Well, she is a good friend for sure. So yeah, your rooms really coming along. And not was this a Christmas gift this little college fridge was It was Christmas gifting lady that Michaels mom. Michaels my mother in law. We're not really in law. Not in lost my mother. And my mother in time. And space. My mother, my mother from another brother. My mother, my my roommates mother,

Bobby:

my mother fuck. Well, did you have a good Christmas? I did have a good Christmas, I think um, I mean, I had a really good Christmas. Oh, honey, do you okay, here's the problem. Okay. Okay, share. I have a problem. And I don't know where the stem from. It's probably from when I was drawing the breakfast bake the breakfast big days. But I always looked at money as the benchmark. So like, so they spend $1,000 on me. I need to spend $2,000 on you. Okay, well, this year, I did not spend$2,000 on me or no 2000 was probably spent on me and I spent maybe 400 Like that's a lot though. 400 is a lot right. So right and yeah, totally. I'm looking at you like money's on an object. Like I spent 10 grand now our listeners are spending like $15 on it. Right. And I honestly relate to them because if I didn't have my roommate, I'd be poor. I

Jim:

really have the best college roommate I want for i No biggie Dixie. Dixie down. Dixie down. Gets your mom a fridge. Yeah, honey. Are your mom your mom gets you. Yeah, I don't know what I'm saying. Yes, you do. Bye. Hi. So yeah, so Christmas is really great for me. I got a lot of really good gifts. And anything else. You're just gonna talk about the fridge. Anything from Michael Yeah.

Bobby:

So he's taking me to Oh, so I got a card and I opened up I said you're going to the Columbus Blue Jackets game on Thursday the 30. Yeah, so hopefully they're there because they've been canceling game. So

Jim:

yeah, the NHL was shut down there so scumbag Tuesdays, that's gonna be really fun on the couch.

Bobby:

I know. But anyway, there's that. And then I opened up another thing. It's an empty box and I'm like, What is this and it has like paper notes in it. And I have to read off of it read, read read, and it was the end was, I'm going to call it play and Atlanta.

Jim:

Oh, yeah, Coldplay? Are they still around? So yeah, I actually am a really big fan of Coldplay. You know how you know, I'm gay, gay. Coldplay. Do you heard that joke now from the 40 year old virgin? Oh, do people gay people like Coldplay know, well, yeah, that's, you know, oh, no, you're good. You like Coldplay? Oh, Joe, you're right. In the day. Yeah. So, I mean, I saw Coldplay when I was in high school in 2004. Or five or two. Yeah, so I'm kind of like, it's 2021 Like, what are they doing? They're like, they're are they the new Rolling Stones? I don't ever say are in well, they're Yeah, they're gonna stop making music in 2025 Apparently. Oh, I believe it when I see it, but they're gonna tour so they're gonna be like throwing stones. How will fuck they're really good live though. I'm not gonna lie. Yeah, it was good. It was good. It's like visual anchor phone hanging from a giant cord. It was whipping. Yeah. This one's actually like hot, to be honest. And like he like his, like his swag and his attitude. There's no way Gwyneth was with him for the music. No, it was with him for the deck. And even if it wasn't a deck, it was definitely like the motion of the ocean. You know what I'm saying? The hips the thrust? Yeah, the way the thrust okay, that throw Yes, baby. Give it to me. I believe it. So, so you're gonna go see Coldplay?

Bobby:

Yeah. And then also, it's like, here's XYZ amount of money for Vegas. And I'm like, What the fuck is happening? I'm like, Michael, let me and then of course I am. Hey, he's going skiing when we go to Vegas and he's going skiing again like later but you get a musky outfit. Yeah, so I was supposed to get the under what is called an Under Armour but like underwear. Yeah Long John John sounds like like long johns whatever. I thought about the whole thing but apparently to spot the top.

Jim:

So I didn't have a bottoms for him. So he's opening this up and I'm like, I just don't like Coldplay. Trevor then he's like opening up a half ass like

Bobby:

got him a pair of like a long sleeve shirt. Yeah, so Coldplay long sleeve shirt, blue jackets game meet shredders you know saying so we're having one of those Christmases right he I got him stuff he wanted and stuff that he can use. And so that's what we were having a conversation about earlier was I cuz I'm like, Oh my God. I didn't meet up to standard like, I don't know and $2,000 on you. Well, I didn't have to you met his standards, which are very low. And you know what over the world?

Jim:

Oh, honey. I know you have her he wouldn't be here. You wouldn't be here. If it wasn't for me, honey. Honey, that mouth and he's bang fall. That's a spoiling mouth. He needs to be thankful. Really? No. Okay. Well, I would be one year. I don't know. What did you do to spoil him? Like, I don't believe you. I bought him like his nintendo switch when you're I spent like, okay, that's $1,000 Buy to me, like, No, you're poor. We get it. Yeah, so I use for this year. I was like, I'm just gonna keep it modest. I'm, that's what I got. And then he's like dumping money on me. I'm like, Okay. I mean, that's just, uh, well, two of the things he gets to go

Bobby:

to to be technical. So like, it's also like, not benefiting him. But like, it's like, um, he'll participate. He's gonna participate. So it's like, kind of a gift but kind of like he gets induced, right. So it's not like it's that he's

Jim:

kind of like making you go. So he has fun hoping you have fun. He's like, we're going to we're going to go to my favorite. We're going in your favorite band. And also, we're going to go to my favorite sport. Your favorite sports team. That's right. You're gonna love every second as long as they have chicken wings and pizza ani that pates. That jets love jets pizza. Well, my Christmas. Well, how was your Christmas jam belt similar and that I only got a couple of items. For my partner were kind of upset. Like well, okay, just be honest. I will explain that in a minute. But the gifts from the gift perspective, okay. I got him a coffeemaker kind of that I wanted. Okay. So he also talked about, he's always like, well, we don't have a coffeemaker. I wish I could have a hot cup of coffee right now. I'm like this was needed, but he just didn't seem really excited. And then the other president was a big flop. Although I thought it would be a hit. I dodged dildo. Well, no, that would I would have been ahead that Oh, no, not in our house. These holes, bunch of tops. Not house too many times. A day. Oh, my God got up a day. He wasn't in Rome. Judging by his face, I would say disbelief. I wasn't sure I okay. So our son was there so I wasn't sure if he was embarrassed. And then my son's like, no, no doubt. I've used one. It's actually gray and I don't even go that way. Harris. I was like, not a gay situation homies. And so I said it was fine. I told him like one of our friends a mutual friend. straight friend has one and that's who recommended it I was like if a strict I think you're trying to be like gay I don't know I'm like it's a day like all of your opinions are like every European man us Europeans think we are fucking disgusting over here because we don't have a days and every single fucking we're like taking fin paper and just single paper and just smearing shoved around so cross like why don't I rub it up this way? Right but that but I don't like the wet wipes because they clog all the cars me clogging they clogging their Corgan tubes whoa girl cuz I had to pay for them to be unclog before I moved into this house and I was like, did you really? Oh yeah. Because they say to do that when you move in so you don't have like sewage backup. So like they empty out the common like blast out the tube. I mean, it was clogged with like tampons and wipes. Oh, tampons and wet wipes are clogging and Perrin shitting. Period. I'm shitting period. You must our period chips. Oh, I didn't make a lot of I can't think of that. I can't think of that, because I hate women. I'm not actually a fan. I just kidding. I love my women and their periods. We love them when we were trying to and also men can have periods. Let's just say that. Let's just say that. Let's get that out of the way all people can have period. We all can have periods. So Harriet, I don't know. But the first thing he asked was are you going to install it? And I was like, if that's all you're worried about? I'll install it. But we're getting this whole block but you would think he would be a little more we're gonna I mean, it is a an expensive one. I'm sure toto it was like $500 Like, you want a good one? Yeah, it's like gonna it was it changed the whole seat, right? It's a seat. All right, you push a button and the thing goes up and then down. Oh, it has a remote but you have to like line up. You can sit there and like do this. Oh, you can get that hole just lined up perfect. I love it actually does feel really you can change the blasting. You can blast the string you can do like a church. Oh, like a sprinkler or just a straight jet? Sure. Yeah. I mean, I'll, I'm gonna have a clean hole. Your whole is gonna be spotless. And so that was really all I got along with like an a little car that said, I'm getting you a waffle maker because I can't find them because they're sold out. Okay, so but that's still a lot. It was a lot of money, money. It doesn't feel like a lot when you're giving to gifts. I'm gonna be honest, so that's why he was upset. No, no, he was tired. We're all tired. Honey. Did you see me before? I'm gonna have a cup of coffee to get to this, but this is what a topic I wanted to bring up Christmas spirit. Okay, what is the Christmas spirit? It is the spirit of Christmas. Wow. Hi, gay. That is such a good answer. Thank you. Uh, no. But for me, I'm like, the spirit of Christmas is like being kind and open and like offering to do things for other people and feeding the homeless giving gifts and things like that. Giving had even to the right who says have you just said that? I know. But like who says that? Like nobody says had anymore? No, I think it's like the late 90s or over? Yeah, it's like, oh, that was my like, childhood. Guys, my childhood. thing had gifting all the spirit of Christmas spirit of Christmas. So I felt like and in my family growing up, we would do thing we'd watch a movie together. We'd play like chocolate games. We got hot chocolate. Let's cook a good meal. And I like that I agree with things that you do for fun, right? My Christmas Day yesterday was my stepson and my fiance sleeping on the couch for five hours after getting up at 1030 Wow, girl. I they woke up I had made like a eggs and biscuits and I was like, Okay, we're now at breakfast. No one wanted to have breakfast. So then they we open presents. And then I was like, Okay, well, and what did you get? So that I made him a Mosa and they started sleeping for five hours. So you started drinking and they started sleeping? I was like, I'm gonna go watch a movie in bed or something like Oh, were you you were sad. Upset. Sad boy. Christmas spirit was gone. So that's the Christmas spirit is you didn't feel like anybody wanted to participate in anything. They just wanted to sleep, which I don't disagree with. Like I could take a five hour nap right now. But I'm wondering if this is why so many adults have like last Christmas they don't have the spirit because people around them don't have it. I didn't feel like it was Christmas this year. Well, it was really hot. Yeah, that's the other problem. Like it's really it's hot. The air conditioning on yesterday in Ohio. I like I like a cold Christmas. I want to cozy up. I don't want the snow right now. I'm dreaming up. Literally like give me the White Christmas and never snow again. However this year, it's like never going to snow again. No, it it poured it rain didn't pour down rain. Yeah. So here comes the rain. Here comes the rain again. Well, so that was so we had a discussion later. That's a resolution and I basically told him I want there to be a better Christmas next year. I want better Add It's not better attitudes all around everyone to be nicer. So you felt you felt abused? No, not to be notionally. Maybe Christmas was neglected on you got sad. Oh, yeah, it was sad. I was pissed. Yeah, Christmas just doesn't feel the same anymore. I know as an adult, like it changes but like, it just doesn't feel the same. People just want to sleep today. So that's Christmas. I got great gifts. I'm glad it's over. Yeah, I mean, I'm sorry. I just think it's annoying kind of a little bit. And here's what to say. And maybe I'm getting rid of the Christmas tree lose the Christmas spirit. I think I've maintained mine and I'm going to carry it forward. And that's good. And we need you for next year. Yeah, I'll bring it around. Honey. I love the Christmas. But I just it just I think it's because of COVID I think it's because of the I think it is I do. I think we're like really jaded now. Like, we're kind of like fucked up a little bit. Well, when I went to my fiance's family's house for Christmas Eve I was like, the whole time I'm just sad. Like they're not. I'm probably the majority unboxed. And so I just sat there like it's happening like I'm getting Omicron wrong. Um, I began micron a micron. That's right. So yeah, that's that feeling of like dread. I was just like, I'm getting mad. Why am I even here? And I think if I don't come here, they'll hate me. And so I have to come. And I'm boosted I really wasn't worried about I don't think the effects of it will be bad. You don't want to kill them. But I don't want to also Yeah, I'm like, if this is how I watch them kill themselves, basically, is what we're doing here in slow motion. Yeah, it's like, oh, slow motion for me. I can't breathe all the sudden it's because it's because you scoot it over to get a beer and then scooted back and that was too much effort. No, it's because the weeds hitting me really hard. I had coffee. I had beer and I had wine. Wow. This sounds familiar on this. Yeah. Oh, no lesson. It sounds like I blacked out and threw up. And you teabag me on the button? Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. That's that's appropriate. You needed a good tea bag. You would not shut up. Show. We were like Bobby go. I'm like you're getting the balls. Don't get me too fucked up. Because honey, it's not cute. It really it's really hard. It was a thing. It's always advice. Tough to watch. It's tough to watch. But then afterwards, you're like, look at my ass on that phone. Yeah. As you're vomiting into the toilet, girl. Like I kind of do have a hot ass of like you were vomiting into the toilet. Yeah, I

Bobby:

think you sent me like a picture. You're like, oh my god, I forgot that sentence. And I was like, Oh, I have a hot ass. It's like, Honey, if that's what it takes for you to get the hot ass two days ago. You were crying. Like and saying you were fat and then all sudden you get drunk black. Oh,

Unknown:

hot ass. Only I would. I mean. Yeah, I mean, that's me. That's a huge thing. It's a huge thing. That's some like really country like, that's a huge fine. And the honey gets Are you done? Wow. Okay, well, I

Jim:

have so. Okay. Do you have something else? Oh, cuz we're off the cuff baby. Oh, bad. We're off the GOV we're off the cuff honey. No, I really don't have anything else. I did wonder on this our last Christmas thing I promise cuz. Cuz I'm over it. What was your favorite thing this year? And that can be a person an event? A memory a gift? A food? What? What's the best memory your eyes just were like, yeah, they're faded. I'm faded. I was actually thinking of something else was like, oh my god, we have to listen. Girl. I was like, No. Like, why totally like, looking at the ring light like going up to like a UFO. Like, I'm being like,

Bobby:

I'm going I was like, what was gonna have to send a listener question and then you're like this this year? And I'm like, but I was trying to like play it off. Like I was paying attention can say oh, no,

Jim:

girl you weren't. And that's okay. Okay, so what was the favorite thing from Christmas? And that can be like a memory and event gift. And we talked about this last year or last week? Yes, but Christmas hadn't happened yet. So

Unknown:

this. Christmas is Christmas. I gave you my heart. The very next day. You got really

Jim:

high. Now you can see by actually we went to it was our anniversary.

Bobby:

I said Christmas now. Here's a Christmas moment. We went and saw the lights in Franklinton Park. Okay, and went to the conservatory and it was actually open. I've never been in there but they have never been there it is. You've got to go. You have got to go. Yes, sir. Also at the light show, which you didn't go to they have trains everywhere. What light show? The one I forgot to impart. Okay, they have like a whole like, it's like he walked through the lights and get hot cocoa yada yada. There was a whole train section though. That's awesome. Okay, you're such a I mean, I'm sorry.

Jim:

No, just the way you're like the light show that you didn't go to I was like I also didn't go to the Conservatory where you also testify I'm not like trying to like and I didn't even eat it you also didn't go to I was like fucking go to it. No, I didn't. It's like I already been over not even care if you did go Anyway, I can't I can't either. So yeah, that was probably my best Christmas when I was like going through the lights and like on Tama. I love that. But yeah, I'd say my favorite was seen my side of the family because my mother was so grateful she teared up at dinner. And that's that major Christmas to watch her. Because she was like, you're all here. It's so great this year, you get to all be here because last year we didn't have a Christmas.

Bobby:

That's surprising because the way you talked about your family, I'm surprising just hold an event every month during COVID. Well, they may ask Listen, hon, they may have but I didn't go Yeah, the smart one.

Jim:

Oh my god. I'm so excited though. Why I actually found out my grandparents. Who are what I thought I think our Trumpers are boosted even their vaccine boosted. Oh, that's all I went over to drop a present off at their house. And I was like, I wore a mask like to the door and they're like, Oh, do you want us to put our masks on? I was like, Well, I'm boosted they're like, oh yeah, we are too. Oh my god mask off grandma. Mask off fucking mask. That's crazy. That is that's a real revelation. And you were surprised and happy. Oh, okay. Do we have a listener question or? We do have. This comes to us from cole with a see. Other way to spell it. Okay, well, yeah. Or like CO Al. Okay, Cole says, love the show. So keep doing what you're doing. I have a scenario I'd be interested in throwing your way. You just met your perfect man. Everything about him is exactly what you want or need. except one thing. What trait could this guy have? That would be an instant deal breaker for you? Oh, fuck, I think I know for Bobby. I know people. No, no, I found the real one that I think would be a deal breaker for me.

Unknown:

I mean, I T. Oh, wanting to go. Nailed it. Oh, thinking they

Jim:

knew it was like teeth. I would much rather you be authentically smiling and being yourself than hiding your teeth. Because that's just telling me you're hiding something already. Yeah. So is it more than the teeth? shallow, shallow shot below. Look at those chompers. I mean, honestly, when you do take note, when you start looking at you are opening your eyes pass the deck. And sometimes you look from far away you're like, and sometimes they look far away and you're like, okay, and then you're like, it's just so shallow. But it's sorry, so shallow. That's a physical trait. Yeah, that's just a physical trait. And for me, those are secondary. But what would yours be but no, but do First your physical. You're really not that picky. I mean, you basically take any deck that you can get like, honestly, gay girl at a loss right now. I mean, I'm just saying I just got fucking it. You know? You're very, like, sexually open and you'd allow. I mean, sometimes there's probably people that aren't that great looking that kind of get to touch that Blissey are you talking about Moscow's? Oh, I did hear about that. But you actually would have liked that guy. It was a daddy wasn't a big daddy with a beard. And he was like, fingering your. I mean, he's taller than you like big. And he just reached down my pants. went right to the hole.

Bobby:

I don't get that though. Because like what? Took them mad shit. I'm just saying well, and that's why, like when you get the bonus later, like anything goes well in the beginning. You're probably like, Oh, this is a clean hole. But I was but still like I don't go I don't go out with the dirty hole. I'm sorry. Well, I don't either. I don't either. I don't poop out in public. Unless there's emergency but you just don't know what some of these people like.

Jim:

Well, I would never do to someone else who like my hole is always clean. I know. And this is before the day wait till I have the day set up and run. You're gonna you're gonna chip off years of that nastiness.

Bobby:

I'm gonna be here like pebbles drop. It's like It's like It's like it's like a power wash helping the surf. Yeah, it's like it's your asshole is like an old deck and when you start you know how they like awesome looks like clean wood that's gonna be your whole it's been nice tiny wood Titan pink baby. Oh, it's gonna be painted I really think that it will be pink they won't be tight hopefully doesn't hit your Fisher I thought you were

Jim:

Wow girl. Fuck I mean right or inside well it can be inside or outside but for me right now I don't have one oh clean bill of health. I love being clean. So first of all what were you accusing me of? You were like you let anyone touch your hole? Yeah, I just said I'm not Yeah no I really people like What's your type? I'm like I don't have Is there a physical tray that you just can't do? Because he really don't cuz I'm like as you show me like Oh, okay. Wow, what are you who are you talking about? Oh, no, no, no, I there's some people that Yeah. I've done like oh wait well that's I'm saying to like meet like big right like you would fuck tall short or thin Young. Young old. Yeah, carrying on Harry. True. I don't know. I don't try it would be about lazy. i That's not fair. That's ableist Yeah, let's not be able to just What about just just just What about braces? Oh, you got to be doing Invisalign. If you're

Bobby:

a whore like I'm like, straighten up those teeth but until you get those braces, neck and neck with you, but again, I'm encouraging them to get braces. That's so fucked up of me. I'm really sorry. I'm a shallow pitch. Oh my god hearing like fat edge revelation. I mean, and then here everyone else is like, you know what, I'm not gonna do that fat. Fuck that fat fuck. You know what, though? What? I'm just gonna say this and it's really true. Okay, speak your truth. I'm hot. Oh, and you know who else is hot? Everyone? Because everyone can be hot. But the problem is, is that we're told when everyone everyone can be well, not everyone. I think everyone can be sexual sexual. Maybe? Yeah, that's my new day.

Jim:

Right now. Everyone open up hot in their own way.

Bobby:

I do but a lot of cold they're not and they feel they're not. So kind of seek out those people. I think you kind of do in the gym confidence. Yeah, maybe I'm gifting them you are because you're like this hot stuff. That's like Hey, babe. And they're like, Oh, my bum knee and you're like, oh, fuck you.

Jim:

Get down on your knees. It's Oh, you can't you can't Okay, that's fine. Just your short enough you can just stay at

Bobby:

Oh with those those those hot dog toes. Oh my god. I can't like it's really so bad. I'm bad. Oh, you're bad because I'm like, you can't have that. But I'm like,

Jim:

I really will. I don't like fat guys. You don't know. You think they're lazy? And I know exactly why you lazy fat Fox. But here I am laying like Shamoun in the hot tub.

Bobby:

Wow, did they ship up here to hell did she get up here? That bitch was dead. I mean, I was really I was fucking on a bank. I was like, Honey, I washed up ashore.

Jim:

You beat yourself. I beat myself so you could stop swimming. Just suck it. Also tell the fat asses that are like trying to hit on me. I'm like, You're too fat like honey once you get past the oil back into the water. This is bad. Because it is true. I don't like I would never fuck myself. Does that make sense? Wow. Yeah, well,

Unknown:

I don't think I would fuck you even if we weren't phrase I'm not. Oh, my God. Oh my god. Like Right, right? Yeah. Oh my god. Oh, I am the drain. And that's why we're friends. You cuz you're the only one I want. Fuck.

Jim:

I'll be honest with you. I think I like that though. I think there are people that you are not touch each other would. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but I but it's okay to like high five. While you're getting your dick sucked by other crew. You don't I mean, like around. It's like, We're bros kinda. We're like if we both were to suck off your partner at the same time. Like, as long as? I'm not sure as long as it's not our deck. No, I'm

Bobby:

actually I'm gonna say this on the show. So if you're coming to Vegas, watch out first of all, because we're gonna be

Jim:

our rules for Vegas. We do. So what are the rules? I think I have a hall pass. I'm no angel. Okay, well, no, I don't. I was like, do you do it? Outside so I'm aside. So um, yeah, that's our rules.

Bobby:

I think the rules are I can touch which is good enough for me. That's great. Because unless you're really hot, and you're really pretty, I'm not sucking in probably. If I know you. I don't know why I have a weird bro with that. Meanwhile, I'm just like, that's when I was in the closet though. That was like,

Jim:

Is that is that your internalized homophobia? Or is that a real role? Because I was like, I think you would enjoy just going down on a guy.

Bobby:

I I'm gonna tell you what. Yeah, yeah, it's fun. Yeah, but like so we could both blow someone but not same person. Yeah. Okay. Not our partners. Okay, that's

Jim:

fine. I need to keep partner play out. I think it's good for us both to have healthy sex lives outside of each other, but being able to be comfortable around each other. Does that make sense? Like we could walk into a bathhouse and find some tweaks to fuck and we would fuck one. I would fuck the you know, I'm saying like, we'd be comfortable with that. Okay, okay. Yeah, that's good. I think I don't know if you understand. I think so. Do you understand? Do you understand you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?

Bobby:

Why that's you That's This Week is what? A little bit of gas wait to be finished with coal? Oh, no, not really. Oh, coal. This is kind of a loaded question. Oh,

Jim:

God listen, you coal honestly call now the trade that I would say and I'm going to say that this is honestly from the heart and

Bobby:

the trade that I don't like most is probably I'm not this is not to be funny or like coincidental but I don't like anger. Agree I don't I don't like when somebody is really angry over nothing like it's not attractive trait to me. And so that's true. Like people I'm gonna beat your fucking like, do you remember those people that would like get drunk in the bed and beat your fucking like, well, like I'm sorry, I'm just blacked out like wandering in the field here and you want to beat me up because why? Because you're drunk. You're an angry person. Angry. I try to like save it in anger reasons angry but then on great per person. Oh, you sound like I'm doing here. I'm great. I don't know the guy from Family Guy. The little baby is Stewie. Yeah, you sound like him. Oh, wow.

Jim:

I can't do it, obviously. Honey. Oh, honey, we're having a moment. I know. And it's fine. Um, I think that's a similar trait for me because I can't stand anger. I'm always like, if, like, we don't even yell at each other in my house. No way. I'm like, either I raise my voice on accident because that's trauma. When they start hearing yelling, I'm like, stop. This is done. I'm not dealing with yelling. I can't control people just shouting.

Bobby:

If you're in a relationship where you're yelling like, I'm talking like, it's one thing to raise your voice a little bit but yelling like your dog, you, you're done. You're gonna break up. You're gonna break up either now or 20 years from now and you're gonna hate it when you're old and you're breaking up. Do

Jim:

you want to waste your entire life fighting and then break up to later? Oh, well, the kids we were doing it for the girl. That's the most annoying thing I've ever heard my wife Oh, good. burden your kids with that knowledge later in life? Oh, well, you stayed together for me. Wow. I'm really glad. Look how good I turned out and it was so miserable the whole time for all of us. I honestly fuck these people in no relationship? No, absolutely. And a relationship. I mean, if we're being honest, I think at least the way that they're imagined right?

Bobby:

I think the construct of relationship we need to get it we got to get away like it's so it's so unhealthy because we all are sexual beings. So the problem is we're set up to fail. Yeah, like situation. Oh, well, you're gonna find the one person who fulfills all your needs. And that's like emotional, spiritual, sexual when they don't use them. And then you're like, Oh, but I want sex with someone else. Oh, but I'm gonna go on Craigslist and go suck some dick like, No,

Jim:

you're in trouble. Oh, no, I don't suck that. Oh, well, almost. It's pretty unless it's a pretty pink dick. Paying you really like oh my god. I love ginger. So I don't know why you like pink tick. I love gingers in like Europeans, even though I don't I know. And that's like, why I really want to work on that. I recently was, you know what I did Wednesday, so. I mean, Anca is fine by me now. I just wish I it was fine with me. I just don't. I just went back and there's gonna be an entire mushroom forest in there. Maybe? Maybe that's that's me actually being very immature. Oh, I'm growing. Yeah, no, I'm okay.

Unknown:

Grow growing just right before my eyes, girl. I mean, it's true. You really are growing?

Jim:

Yeah. Vegas like love me, please. Because? Because he doesn't look like Wow, you

Bobby:

are a lot fatter than I thought. It's like, oh boy, to be honest with you. I get the opposite. You do. I mean, they're like, Oh, I thought you're gonna be like, you're like just a big dude. You have a big legs. I'm like, yeah, they think I'm like this ugly fat fog. Look at the way I talk about myself. Right when they see me they're like, yeah, no wonder you're

Jim:

there were a bigger way. Yeah, they're white. They're like, Oh, my. Oh, that him? Well,

Bobby:

he's not fat, though. So you're not fat. I'm

Jim:

like, consolation prize. Thanks. Hey, that's on your like, Grindr profile. I'm not fat watc me in person. I'm not fat. That's why I should put that on the grinder and then pictures from an angle. Yeah. Take pictures like that. And I'm like, Honey, we all know like, we see honey, we see you every day. Honey, they put their tits together together and look up and

Bobby:

it's always like a kissy face and you're like, you're not

Jim:

meanwhile, like men take photos from below to look dominant. And it turns me off. It turns me on when I see a guy taking a photo from down here. I'm just like, Oh,

Bobby:

sir, it's really bad. Oh, I'm just gonna say this on Twitter. You really need to get on Twitter if you're not why and follow all these people because there's a lot of sexual blaming all these people if you on Twitter and type in gay Columbus, okay, and you start finding some accounts. Then you see six one for Bear. Six, one for come pig. All these things. I have followed so many people in our city that just like their Twitter is full of them just jacking off showing their dicks you've got on Twitter. I'm like, and they're people that I've seen that I know and that you've jerked off with no, but like I know them as a face but on Twitter, they don't show their face but I know that that's them.

Jim:

Oh my fuck. You have to show me well, okay, because I just wanted to tell you you just like triggered something. Oh, I follow this. Well now I think he's stripping right now but he has also been in some of the drag shows Rocco Giovanni. Oh, Bronco. And so he was at district west now but okay. I used to see him in the Nina West shows at Christmas time and all that. Oh, actually all Nina West had a good Christmas. She had a great Christmas show. I went like five years in a row. I found out on Rocco's story on Instagram this weekend. I did not know this. He did porn previously. And he was saying like, there's all these people in Columbus that used to do porn that you don't know about. Oh, yeah, there are actually a lot like what and the guys that I'm talking about are like, like, crazy curious. jackoff the idea of finding someone I knows like only fans is thrilling and you have no idea. So really, I also thought about manifesting some things. I shall manifest this in this person's deck. And you did not yet. Are you a witch Which bed. It's my university all just living in it. It

Bobby:

might just be the reality. Just live in it now or just living in it. I'm a witch baby. Which bed get over it. Hi yah. Hi. Oh, that's karate and that's not witchery so I'm getting hard. I know, I know. So you need to get on Twitter and just start and then so like I go okay, so then I go like, Oh, they're doing group in Columbus they want to group tonight. So then I'm like, who like this? 40 likes? Look 614 dl. Whoa, follow? Big Black system for follow.

Jim:

Okay, send me one of those links. So to them, okay, so

Bobby:

what you need do you have twit I just actually respond to Dave about this? Okay, I'm just gonna send you a screenshot of this. Okay, okay, that's fine. There's this thing that I follow called Secret guy stuff. What? Like one of the questions is Who would you rather jerk you off you or someone else? And then then it's like, they asked like, really? Things like, Have you ever seen your best friends Boehner? If you could, who would you trade penises with for a day like so they have like all these random questions and it's like straight and gay guys is like secret guy stuff. And there's like questions about straight guys like saying like, Have you ever traded for your friend and you're straight? is hot in here though. Are you really hot?

Jim:

Let's okay. For a second. Yeah, let's run. Can I literally go out there? I'm

Unknown:

dying. Really? Dying? Why are you sweating? I'm like, not at all. How I'm like

Jim:

wet, like my low back. You're nervous. Oh, I also found out about a sex club. You have different colored cups that you walk around with. There's a lot of straight people, but you have different colored cups. And so well, if it has come to couples, there might be more people are like, Oh, there's more gays here. And then we'd find a couple that would like maybe the guy would let us right in with his wife. Right? While his wife could maybe I would fuck his wife. I don't care. Watching him getting sucked off could fuck a wife. Oh, wow. I would not. Yeah, I think it's gonna have it. I care. I think you're gonna be in a vagina sooner rather than later. If you want to get into the straight man crowd you have to be Oh, what do you think about the straight drag pain? Oh, on the new RuPaul drag. Have you heard about this? Well, I heard about the uproar. But I didn't actually hear about until the uproar. Yeah. So there's a straight guy. Okay, that identifies a street that goes on the show. And so gave me were like, This is a gay thing. And then it brings up the question Can straight people do drag? What is drag? Great. Yeah. How do I feel about this? I feel like first of all, the show is barely relevant. Like, I'm just gonna say it because do you know how many gay people come up to me and like, not a lot, but there's like gay men who come up and talk about it. And I'm like, I don't watch that. Oh, I love it. It's coming soon. I don't hate it. I'm just saying like, I don't there's a lot closer to the point of like, is the show even on yet? Or is it just revealed who's gonna base revealed who's on it right straight guy who the fuck is following who's gonna be on a show? Right? Like, alright, and I guess but that's what I'm saying is like the fan base is set in place. I don't think it's going to expand anytime. I'm totally there's gonna be a massive like, here's, there's a straight guy on it. I need to do that. Maybe some people will start the

Bobby:

celebrity drag race and have all these men that are like macho celebrities who are willing to Yes, I would. Absolutely. We to watch that. 13 celebrity male celebrities that are all like maybe hetero maybe they're all hetero. Yeah, it will bring that's why I'm saying we'll make it popular in the main public, which already is but even more I won't be what will grow

Jim:

that would be but like I just have so many gripes with the report like fandom because it's just it's never ending now. It's literally like Oh, season 19 is on and then all stars 13 And then a one is the UK. There's another lens. There's a Canada, Spain like For fuck sake. We do not need to watch this. And now there's extraction All Stars UK versus United. See, we don't need to see it. Like, I've seen enough episodes to know what's going to happen. There's going to be a deathtrap at the end. We're all gonna go Wow. And then clap our hands. But it's always like 32nd sound bites and like there's their lip syncing. They're not even really performing. I could lip sync and make up Kenya. Yeah, I think we've been fine. Try to get on RuPaul drag race and see Oh, my God, we don't want to it's not worth my time. What are the winners of that show doing right now? They're millionaires. Some of them? Do we know their names? Yeah. Which ones Bob the drag queen and Sasha valore, but like by questions what are they doing? They're twitter and instagram making money and that's fine Bob drag queens on HBO NOW and oh, that show we're here which is really good. I like to that show. Respect to them for doing that. Right. So there's people who I don't think about Ru Paul, when I Oh, no reply. I saw were here before I saw them on. Rue Paul is just the springboard. It's great. It's a springboard for these people. We needed exposure, but I just feel like and I will do my best when it's over. It's overkill. Literally, when you talk to a straight press, you're like, oh, you should watch drag race like Oh, drag race season what? And you're like 19 don't do one because we're literally sitting there like there's Been 19 season and you want me to join in now and we're still gonna scream just as loud on season 19 As we did in season two, it's the same shit recycle. I love it. It's sorry and recycle. I do like it though. I'm not gonna lie. Make sure you watch January 7, because our sponsors RuPaul, drag race, fog, I would leave. That's how I just and that's how Jim left. I just like, one by one. We're all falling. I

Unknown:

was like, You know what, fuck that. You know, everybody fucking hates me.

Jim:

But it just didn't. It does seem a little funny that for like a community all about inclusivity that we're gonna freak out about a straight ride joining drag race, like this is what we wanted. We want to be normal. We wanted to make Dragonlord I say normal. I mean, like mainstream, we wanted straight people to respect us. So now when a straight person does drag, we don't respect them. Boom. But it's true. It's a good boom, that's not a bad one. That's a good boom, boom, boom and ad. It's true. Well, I think there's warring factions in the community about are so mad at stripy? Do we want to be normalized? Or do we want to remain anti normal and we just want to be equal, but we also want to be different. So it's like a really fucked up. It's saying I know people who are like I would never get gay married. Why would I fucking do that? I don't want to be like the straights and then other people like we want marriage equality. We want to be married up. And it's like it's a constant battle of like, well, I don't want to be normal. Like it shouldn't be normal that I also would like to be accepted and more norm right.

Bobby:

You want the strikeout applause

Jim:

paynus off pull your fucking dick straight guys are straight listeners and this towel or straight listeners listener ones. This to our straight listeners also on drag race pull out that Dick just make sure you pull your deck with your gay friends doll appreciate you.

Bobby:

They really well. Well, it's true. But yeah, I don't know. That's the that's the way it'll go mainstream though, is if it's so drawn out. And it's so really it's just gone. The way it's gonna go. It's just gonna go to like, a sellout like beyond selling out like it'll be on ABC. It'll be like Dancing with the Stars but like drag race with late stars.

Jim:

I've never watched like to watch celebrities who've never been trained in Dance. Dance. Why do I even watch I don't need to see that. I'm not watching train people dance. Okay, unless I'm in a live show. Train people trained. I didn't hear the D sorry. I was like trained on the train on me. Oh, girl, we're getting horny the girl.

Bobby:

I mean, I've one more thing broke. I have something too. Okay, so I'm gonna go fuck you. I'm gonna tell you what this is one of those other people are talking about this, but it's true. I've listened to multiple different gay podcasts to or my favorite ball in the beautiful and out and about, they both talked about something called viewing. So I want our listeners to be with the times. So I want to have this burning. You do you know, like killing us?

Jim:

I do not. Let's have you read it because I'm Jesus a bad reader. That's true. You never learned Guney. Guney may be most simply defined as that state usually achieved after a prolonged edging session when a man becomes completely hypnotized by the feeling radiating his penis. Since a Guney state can only be achieved after edging. The man's Dick will have become mightily aroused at this point and every caress the male genitals are subjected to will trigger potent elation. As the man keeps edging in thus keeps experiencing intense pleasure he enters a state of trance where his mind intimately merges with his cock the Goonies state where he and his dick become one. To be even more accurate. When the union state is achieved. The man's body becomes for all intents and purposes, an appendage to his erection. When this state is achieved, the male becomes freed of all social codes of conduct and his arousal alone dictates his reaction. As a result a goon doubt man will become very expressive and demonstrated he may become very vocal while his body and face might mean Oh, it's my take on on dignified expression all in response to the intensely exquisite caresses his penis as opposed to hence the term goon since at this point that man effectively looks like a silly foolish or eccentric person. So good so

Bobby:

make sure Wow running good like edging edging as though should we define that I guess for our listeners

Jim:

times that's all I do. Ladies and gentlemen who don't understand that are on days.

Bobby:

I'm sorry we have a fellow human Yeah, I guess I said all people enjoying is when a guy will go almost to orgasm and then stop jerking off and then once he relaxes for a second then he starts jerking off again and gets close to around because as penis havers we can only have one orgasm and then we like take a break it's true it's really fucking and then you're like grossed out women are like I'm coming for that night.

Unknown:

Oh my god. It's like what the fuck? So yeah, so as you can see keep prolonging you wait, you wait, wait.

Bobby:

Wait you up like turns you on even water once you come to love edging like for two hours straight jerk off. i Yeah, and I don't do anymore. Our Oh I have a weird thing I don't like to go I need at least a half an hour minute Yeah mom just pages loaded up like why did I go to last time when I was like husband shares wife I don't remember that. I need like a bookmark and like Mark where I was like okay, let me get back in the zone. Okay, I was looking up dad, Ito sons caulk or like, I

Jim:

mean legal? Yeah. Legal legally, like stepside like Daddy and daddy. Yeah, that's the thing is what a lot of the terms we're using when we look up gay porn feel very FBI are watching the intro. Where I'm like, Daddy, and boy. And it's like, well, the term for like, a young boy is like 20 Like they're still legal, but it's like you're typing but boy, that's somebody else that put those in your typing parameters on Daddy and son. And it's like, no, that's not also not to say though I really do like looking up, stepdad Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah. Why not? To put on the amateur filter to see like, if there's real like and even if they're not real, like you just got to tell me a little clunky video work where you're like, oh, this kind of look alike. Oh, I think we're all a little dirty inside. Oh, oh.

Unknown:

Well, not actually a fan. We Oh my god. Did I just go there?

Jim:

Did you go there to like millions and millions of men in this country go there. i Why do you think these are categories? I don't know. Daddy became a term. I mean, this is all related to porn. Right? I got son step mom milk, dill. All these things mean everyone's thinking about it. Everyone wants to fuck someone. They can't. Yeah, it's like it's like, Yeah, it's true. Honey. I'm looking right at you. And everybody has the secret of what that is. What it is. Yeah. Who is it that you want to secretly What's it for you? There's probably a porn category for you. There probably is who do you want to fuck? I want to fuck the pizza delivery person listeners tell us who you want to fuck at not well@gmail.com Oh my god, that was so fucking amazing. I can't even because that's the right email. Yeah, what do you say? Not well at GMO not well. podcasts@gmail.com Okay, do not email not well@gmail.com who you want to fog? That'd be very bad.

Bobby:

Well, you know what? We get publicity? Yeah, whoever has that not well. People are like my mom. Okay. Oh, my mom. Do you sound like this? I'm not actually a fan. My mom actually a fan right now. Do we all like we have to start admitting it though. And I think that's where I'm at my life like already Okay, I like the scenario of where I am we know you're right if somebody is your boss which boss there's a few I have so for like, but it's so hot. So like what is it is it creepy or is a hot and then we then somebody gets caught doing it? We're all like, you fucking nasty SON OF A BITCH onlooker but yet we all want to be that guy. I'm telling you, we're really fucked up.

Jim:

We're really fucked up when I was an undergrad. So do you did a little look in play? Oh, acela. Now Oh my god. No. I was just being honest, though. I was in a dorm freshman year and we had bunk beds and obviously my bunk beds are right up against the wall. There's no room the person next door in the other room had the their movement up in the wall here on every random weekend. I could hear like, oh, random fucking. And then him like, Oh, I'm in the bed. And you're like, Oh, God. Oh, once I was he was like, I'm gonna fucking calm and I was just laying in bed probably came. Like actually. Are you sure it's just you start drilling a hole in the wall you're like, but I'm serious. I was like, why is listening to this attractive to me? It's like

Bobby:

somebody's trying to escape jail. But actually, you're just trying to make it glory Hold'em. I just picked you with a crank for some reason, like a little

Jim:

wheelie in it. And I'm like having a poster over. I didn't know what to say. They're gonna come Hey, you gotta come put it in this whole

Bobby:

empty because I mean, he's gonna get the whole deck throw back.

Jim:

I mean, the walls must have been thin enough for me to hear everything. Slop slop. Yeah. Oh, I really could hear like every It was so weird. I've just been laying there like, so hot that again. You probably mean I'd see him in the hallway and be like, hey, actually at my downtown Columbus, when me and my girl first moved in together. Oh, yeah. flats on Vine. There was somebody above me that would fuck and you can hear the bag. And like whatever that you said, and then you were like so tried. I was trying to match the rhythm

Bobby:

is so corny to hear? Yeah, I was fucking sorry. It really is so hot. Why is that a thing? Because we're all told it's bad. So we'd love it. So we love it. Like everyone's like, Be quiet. Don't tell anybody your real fetish. Let's pretend like we just like missionary. No, but do you like to bend the fuck over? Okay. I would love to listen, but it's true. Like, I mean, people are so scared to be their author. And then I think is that what makes a hot though? Do we really want to be fully open or do we still want to keep it taboo because once it becomes not taboo, it's like, okay,

Jim:

I'm always wrong. Every time I do Something taboo, I am worried. I'm like, is this gonna be not as hot next time?

Bobby:

Right? Because once you do get the taboo like say like, watch, like you watch tuning for years, and all of a sudden you're like, I'm gonna go in and then you're like, oh, but now that I've done it, I need to find something else because it's not. It's true. It's fun. Except for straight guys.

Jim:

I don't Well, they're a perennial goon they can goon Oh, they call goon them. Firing but but do you goon you're only Guney before you come like you don't come and then goon the whole

Bobby:

almost sounds like meditation to me like you get into a trance that like you're gunning Goonies when I have been in that. Yeah, where you're, you can't even and then it gets your tickets so hard and so big and it's like, pulsating. Okay, and you're like, and it's you're about to come and then you stop. And then it's like that moment. They just rely, like almost like all the world just like fall. Yeah,

Jim:

I've done that. But I've like forgotten that I was doing anything, right? No, I don't think doing is like meditation. Okay, and then just been like, I don't even need to come now.

Bobby:

Do you know that's what meditation is, though. Kind of say that. Trying to come? Basically in your head. Okay. Okay. So what you do is you're, you're supposed to not be there. So it almost was like sleeping.

Jim:

Oh, here we go. Go. I'm telling you. I take a nap. Just take off. Stop trying to tell everyone in meditation. Isn't that so weird? It is so weird. It's not weird that you got high and wanted a nap. It's really not weird.

Unknown:

You're like, let me tell you how crazy this was. When I was my my eyes. And I wanted to take a nap. Oh, no. I

Bobby:

mean, I was meditating. No, but that's what it does feel like, I'm serious. I'm about to get somebody on here. Girl. You've been saying that for two years. We have like a lineup. Like I have so many people that could be a lineup. We just got to get our shit together and get organized.

Jim:

I have a story that you can Rendezvous in rendezvous into wherever part you want. Probably where it's okay. So I think this was on Christmas Day. I'm fucking Christmas. Here we go. Or no, it was Christmas Eve. And now I just reading a story. Gay. This is the headline. Let me just get you ready for this. NASA hires priests to prepare humans for an alien discovery and contact. Okay, why this is real? No, it's not. Yeah, no, no. NASA has hired the help of 24 theologians as part of a plan to work out how the world's different religions would react to news about extra terrestrial life. You want to see my hole? Okay, so theologians, someone who studies the nature of God, religion and religious beliefs. So they've hired 24 people to try to imagine what it would be like if NASA just released information saying, We found et et is out there. That's a collapse of society. You think that but would it be and here's why I'm starting to wonder is because the Reverend Dr. Davidson believes the prospect of finding the life that's out of this world is becoming more and more likely, in Davidson's book of astrobiology and Christian doctrine. He asked questions about whether God could have created life elsewhere in the universe. Or this is the part that really got me or could he have sent a Savior to die for the sins of alien species? I'm reading this, like already in disbelief that I'm like, why do we give a fuck what theologians Think about if aliens exist or not, and then I get to that part, so they're not turning there. were wondering if God could have sent a Savior to die for the sins of alien species like, well, they do think that we do you know what they think actually, this is crazy. Bobby, I know everyone and why are you following? You're going right down with him. You're like, you know, but they're saying, you know, we're trying to like discover Mars and like, we're trying to like go there. And water fossils on my own. It really is. Mars was where we were before we came to Earth. Oh. True. I mean, is it it is, there's really not a lot there, though. That does. So we there he ruined it. That's why it's like to ruin it. There would have had to be like a lot of us there. And we would have had to be advanced enough to build like spacecraft to get here. But what makes you think you wouldn't be advanced enough? Because there's no evidence that anyone was there. There's no human remains. There's no building material that yeah, it's just dust Connie. went through a really big problem. It could, yeah, but even there's no fossil evidence of humans on Earth. Like why were there dinosaurs here before humans arrived? And like why are we connected to all these other primates that were here before we started writing in the fossil record. But what if we weren't what we are now what if we were the organism that lived on Mars? And we just got on a spacecraft that we built on a storm and then we threw? Oh my god, the Big Bang?

Unknown:

Oh, honey, we were Oh no, this is not good. Why am I why do I feel like I am

Jim:

loading on Mars? No, seriously.

Bobby:

In our lifetime we're gonna see somebody walk on Mars. What do you think of that? We will? Do you think that's cool? Or is that weird? Do you think everything I'm telling you everything in simulation? I'm not fucking kidding. I know I'm high, but everything is fake. Oh my God,

Jim:

why is someone walking on Mars in our lifetime fake? Like, that's what is March evil. It's a planet that you can see with your own eyes. No.

Bobby:

I just feel like we're all fake. And like, we're all really not Did you watch the new Matrix movie this weekend? Is that Oh, no, no, but I have been listening like you are energy every single thing of every single

Jim:

Oh, here it goes. Again, every cell we've gone off the rails here. I'm sorry about this up. So like we're made up of like billions of cells, right? And every cell has like an atom or something. No, you you probably know you're smart. But I want to hear how you're thinking of this. So then Adam has a proton and neutron.

Bobby:

And basically, all what they're saying is like quantum physics. We're all energy. Like we're all like everything in life is energy. Everything that is everything that is physical is energy.

Jim:

Have you ever thought that your real like physical world is actually your brain creating it? Oh, no. That was so awkward. Have you ever thought that your brain is not real? It's not really. Oh, guys, someone helped him like, can someone come and do a stroke? Take him back to Mars. Like he's not ready for Earth? No, I just I think I'm figuring it out. You are?

Unknown:

Are you really the whole? You figured it all out? figured out the world? You took one edible and you're figured it out? Figured it out? Honey?

Bobby:

Give me a glass of wine and a beer and bed and coffee. Oh, it's the coffee. Honestly, that's what's really. I took it. I was like, I'm really tired. I'm never gonna record and you're like, Okay, I'm like, yeah, actually come over, wake me up. And then I'm like, I'll take coffee. I'll drink coffee. I'll take a coffee. So I drink a coffee make it black. And I was like,

Jim:

like, as I'm drinking Rosetta, like, and then I'm on IPA, IPA. So anyway, so the world around you isn't real and your brain is creating? Yes, but what's your brain made of?

Bobby:

The energy cells? I'm telling you. And Adam is really made of

Jim:

energy. Like it all goes back to energy. So every single billion of our cells are really just energy that created the physical it's really hard to explain,

Bobby:

apparently, well, when you figure it out, how do we keep how do these How do I not like Express cells right now? Like why are you are but like, why are my hands still staying together though? Oh, atomic forces, right? Like, why are my cells like bonding? Or you know, I mean, like atomic forces. Like everything's physical but how does it go securing the bond in the atom in the nucleus is so strong, that it causes me to have skin all of it. It holds everything together. Oh

Jim:

fucked up and actually your organs the thing is, you're mostly space, the actual like physical size of the proton and then in the nucleus and the neutrons in the nucleus. Yeah. It's so small compared to the distance between the nucleus and the electrons of the atom. So you are mostly space and you know the show. Yeah. Oh, I know girl. Your mouth expands. This is why waves are constantly passing through you Right? Like it's like what are we even wrong with like you got Gino? You look around you in the space. You're like, what? Just air it empty space. It's not empty. There's so much energy floating around as it like it's almost like if you could see on a radio and it works. There is energy waves. The waves all around. Oh, sound waves we make we make energy waves. I

Bobby:

just think and this is not to scare everyone. But I really think that we don't really know shit about ourselves. We most people don't like we really don't like as a as a race or race as a species we haven't defined you have no idea. You need schooling for that. No, but I'm in schooling. It's like we're still trying to figure out like really what we are we I don't think we know. I don't think we do. I think we're still discovering talent. I mean, I just told you but I know like You're like you said like we can't see what we're moving out of the air. But there's still things there. I just picture like all over like bubbles everywhere. And you're just coming out of the way because you're like kind of like moving out of the way. Like way back can see that. So then that can send a wave through the bubbles is what I imagined but that's probably not. Yeah, right. Like it's just constant and everywhere. All the time. Maybe. Plus you had gravity in there and you're getting pushed down just like life. Oh My God, no, I'm really under pressure

Jim:

on the pressure thing down on leaning middling down. And you know, so really, I brought that strip though to just like laugh at the fact that we don't even know if these aliens exist. But you just did to me, right? Yes, sorry, it's spiraled honey. And I like the reason I brought it up. I was in a K Hall. I was in a K hole. And I was like, I'm just trying to make fun of Christianity. Like we literally don't know if aliens exist, and we have theologians being like, I wonder if there's an alien Jesus. And I'm like, that's not going to be what I'm thinking about. If we discover alien life, I'm not going to be like, oh, yeah, that's how they continue their brand. They all have to be sinners, branding all these alien sinners. I really hope that God sent someone for them to save

Bobby:

them. I don't know what's an it's a business. They need the money. Like we're already sending, like sending your donation. They're like, Oh, guys, alien to one of us. We have a motto there's an alien Jesus out there we have alien honey, it's extraterrestrial, alien, an alien. According to me, that's really

Jim:

why I brought that strap not to like spiral you into simulation theory. But like you do you honey, I

Bobby:

want you the best for you. Honestly, I was just living my truth and just like letting it go. Because our brain is creating every day because you know what's really sad? I have a I want to play this for everyone. And then we got to talk about New Year's and we're done. Thank God, I send this to you. And it was really impactful to me where I cried, almost Jesus Christ.

Jim:

Get me out of here. It was a I saw like a little tick tock and I was like, Oh my God, this really spoke to me where I like got teary, okay? About

Unknown:

you will look at yourself one day and you won't know who you are. Because you don't remember who you were. You're not sometime long way and maybe 13 or 14, we let go of the little person that kept us going. That little person that was always there, I got you, man, I'm here that person when we get about 13 or 14 million Americans, and we push them aside and we don't listen to him anymore. And he's always not. And after so long of a time, maybe 1015 years. You don't even know him. You show up at your own door and you don't even know who you are. Your family doesn't know who you are. So it's important no matter what you do, no matter what challenges you remember you

Bobby:

that shook me and it shook your core but this is what I've been trying to achieve with the show and with my new Advent meditation this is what I'm trying to do though the meditation keeps you like onpoint and like well rested yeah

Unknown:

your face got so rad Wait, wait I have no idea what you were talking about either. That's why I like normally I can guide you but I looked up and you were just like read

Bobby:

Okay, so what I want to show is to be more kid like more childish not take things like that. But through my meditation and through the books I've been reading that's what we that's why we have a problem. Or ego doesn't allow us to be the child that we really are. Yes, because your ego builds like 14 When you start going to like middle school and high school. You're like I don't want to be cool. So I'm gonna wear these shoes and you're not your unique self you're not your authentic self and you keep pushing yourself down as you get older because you're like oh, I can't do that because I wouldn't be cool. Push them down and push them down push them down. Oh, push them down. Push them down. Push them down on that. Oh,

Jim:

I'm gonna fucking calm okay. But no serious no ruin me. But you like try to suppress your real self and then you finally if you can somehow bring back the child bring back the child. Bring back the child and you

Unknown:

the child of the Lord that's what people want. People want you they don't want what you think you you tried to be an inspirational speaker well hi. Is the funniest thing I've ever seen. I'm serious. What you want not what you want for yourself. Like

Bobby:

Girl No it's really sad though like if you really think about it we all if you

Unknown:

really were really sad all suppress This child of ours. That's us. We suppress our inner child. Okay, we do bitch we do I can't. Okay, we do we do We do we do we suppress our inner child

Jim:

we suppress our inner child we do yes we do. And it's very bad we so I want to find out we just did that we just did look how hard we laughed. Oh

Bobby:

that's gonna lessen I want to just really listen to this thing I found me while I'm laughing the mic. No, but it was good though it was on a serious note on a serious note. I like really like Real Talk find your inner child because that's what the problem is, is we are finding

Jim:

them we've pushed them. Like, okay, inner child, girl Barbies. Yep. Did you push them down? Yeah, you did

Bobby:

you push them down there. Oh, I can't play Barbies. Oh, yeah, I played Barbies all the time. Right. I was a little kid I sustained in the bathtub and like swim with them. And so fun. Mermaid mermaid but then I would wrap them up in the dirty clothes and bring them back to my sister like to my room to dry them then.

Jim:

No one can now though. So funny. Like your inner child was suppressed and deeper. Right? So then it kept pushing down, pushing down, push it down, push up. So who am I we're trying to excavate. We are out excavate right. So that's that's the goal in mind the inner child and your inner child and let them out. yank it out them out. Let them out. I

Bobby:

might, you know, let them out. Mine was be stupid. Be funny. Be you like if it's just goon if you want to go in and code, right? We're saying you've got to be you. That's the only that's like Doctor says only you can be you or something. You say that? Dr. Su and he say that? Like only you can be you so be you.

Jim:

That was Barney. Dr. Seuss, or lamb chops.

Unknown:

But someone said that lamb chops play along Yeah, this is the song that goes on and on my friend. Some people saw it and seen and not knowing what it was. But then they started on none. And this is the song that doesn't and

Jim:

that's like talking talk about inner child talk about in your child that was a childhood memory that was that was in your child. And look how much it got you. I got me excited. It brought good memory. Did it look good? So bring your inner child out? That's the rules. God, this is just such a little Mr. Rogers episode.

Bobby:

It is so um, New Year's. I hope you guys set your resolutions. And we do we know. Are they effective that a social construct? Are they even effective? Or do you actually do on let's choose a random day and that's going to be when I changed my life. I do have a moment on New Year's though where I'm like, Okay, you got a year, new year and I got like, I could say, well, that's what I'm always like, am I gonna make it? Well, I'll be honest, I'm coming might not. Do you know, what else? Do you more? This is me bring my inner child and be honest. Do you remember a pod? We we, the youth of the nation? Youth of the nation? I think it was like 2001 I forgot about that? Yes. And they play that I'm TV and it was midnight. And I was like oh my god, I'm the youth of a nation. And that's the first time I ever really felt young. Yeah, but that's also the night that I got. I thought I got a rebel on a AOL chat on men seeking men because I was like, old were you 1616? Probably and I was there and seeking man. Yeah, like asking for pictures. So you're the reason age sex location I can sell so so right. So then I got reported or I thought I did. Like we're gonna report you. And I'm like, No, you put 16 Yeah, but my account my AOL account was in the master account. It was my dad. So then he we get the email that says like, Oh, you're screening Bobby. Griff, Bobby G 21

Jim:

was banned from Are you fucking kidding me? So I had to go to my mother.

Bobby:

I should ask her about this. I had to go to my mom and say to her, Mom, I need you to go into the master account. And I need you to delete this. And I don't want you to look at it though. You got to promise me you will look at it cuz it was gay. It was like gay men for men. Like a chat room that I was in. But nothing was ever reported. I've said her I was freaked out. I was like, Oh my God. Like I thought there's gonna be the email. So there wasn't even an email for to look at. I just freaked out. Right? It was very sad, like a gay teenager freak. Right? Cuz I said, I said, You've got to promise you. You got to promise me. I won't. I won't. I'm like, Mom, please. Seriously, like, don't look at it. And she went to go to the email. Like I stood there. And she was like, and I was like, There's nothing she's like, No, there's nothing and I was like, Oh my God. Isn't that crazy? And that I said of yours. 22,001. So that's when you were the youth of the nation. And I was euthanization. So that night I was like masturbating all night because I was like my parents going to a party. My sister's at a party. I was like, chat rooms

Jim:

jerking off edging at home. Edging at home. Yes. 16 year old edging at home.

Bobby:

That's what I think of New Year's I think of edging. I think of my parents being gone and my sister being gone. And I was like, Oh, I don't have anything to do. So I'll just hang back. Got the tarp out. You laid it on the bed. Oh, no, I would sit in the computer chair honey. Yeah, sorry. I bear is that something rusty? It's disgusting. Like, I don't know why

Jim:

the family computer chair. You had your bear. But then poopy hole? Oh, yeah. I mean, 16 year old balls just on the computer chair just jerking off and like sweating on the back of my leg and we're leaving sweat stains on it. Oh, tada. We were really gross or disgusting. I mean, to be honest, we all were gross as teenagers like especially with the birth of internet like actually are looking at stuff online that I should not have in the middle of the night hair.

Bobby:

I know. It's not fair. We were we were like put into a new world. Like you know that everybody's parents was like ripping out the porn. Oh, yeah. Formatting magazines. And right my internet was our magazines. But then we were like, in trouble for it. And it's like, Wait a second. You gave us this whole world. Oh, and

Jim:

I thought was free and really my friend. Oh my god. Yeah, you were crazy. You really went through it? I did. So you're trying to find that child? Or is there another child?

Bobby:

I want that guy you want the guy jerking off in the fan like Peter Jean moved by the time here being moved and thinking my generation is next. I've got to do something about this nation, which I didn't go to remember I quit college. So like really? It wasn't really valid to do it. I'll try and dodge the draft if there was gonna happen because right after 911 Dodge the draft or before 911 Yeah, you're old enough to be in the draft Honey When 911 happened? I was so yeah, you have a teen and so like, I was like, I'm going to graduate high school and I'm gonna be sent to war because they're like we got to find who do this and they started attacking Afghanistan. I would have just been a conscientious objector like I'm not doing it. Well, honestly. I

Jim:

have a pilot so I'm out. Yeah. Excuse Rush Limbaugh used but it's true. You in Rush Limbaugh both have pilonidal say that motherfucker. He's dead. Thank God. You know, our first Christmas without him. God bless God bless that. We still have Alex Jones though. Who's like mad at Trump?

Bobby:

Is he in jail yet? I don't know how a fat fuck like him. No offense. I'm not fat shaming, but I am because remember, I told you people that fat fuck is like now saying that Trump has drank the Kool Aid and now all this. I'm like, like, No, he hasn't. Why are you pandering to these idiots like money, but that's

Jim:

the problem. Now John's always on his show. Random products. Yeah, supplements. It's like, Honey, no one's falling for this. Honey. We look at your face and your belly or anything. We don't want to look like you. I don't know what supplements are you taking? Because I'll avoid them all. That's how I feel like literally no, don't need them. Never have this skin is 100% Natural. That is right model SAS. This. It's all me. Oh, you baby. In conclusion, your new yours? Do you have a resolution or no? Like, honestly, I haven't even thought about making one. I don't think I'm going to

Bobby:

I just always try to better myself. I say Okay, let's go back to the youth of the nation. I

Jim:

always just say like, the Asia youth

Bobby:

to the euthanasia to the euthanasia this year, the youth of a nation. I go back to that moment. I

Jim:

like reset and say I got to make a change. I got to make a I got to make I will never be an illegal in a group adult chat room ever again. Well, that was a lesson I learned that there. Now you're the other your roles are now you're in the group chat room with a bunch of illegal age actually, that's really scary. Because when you think about it, that's what I'm saying. I don't want to be in a chat room where people are like, Oh, fuck, no, that's why I say 25 minutes. That's why I like yeah, I put like, like 18 is to pretend like 18 is pretentious, because I tended to be 18 to go to bars, like oh, you you know I will get an X on my handbag and go to the bar that night. So like I spent the club Yeah, now like 18 is a little too.

Bobby:

So Young. Yeah, you have no idea and you get pounded by like a seven year old and be legal. 25 Plus is better. I think you're kind of like you've you figured out your sexuality most of the time or like you're like really in the mid discovery. You're still fresh for I want to. We want to actually like really try. I was like, I'll put any 25 Rose balls in my mouth.

Jim:

Oh, here we go. Five. They can do anything. Don't mean anything. They'll meet my family. They could send my Ferris State. Oh yeah. Sit on your face on my face on a visa in your face. Yeah, yeah. Make sure you subscribe. Make sure you give us a call and share your questions. Yeah, emails that not well podcasts@gmail.com Or she's not doing so well@gmail.com or call us it's on the website and also give us five stars on review. Five stars five stars please also there's been a recent update to Spotify you can now give five stars on Spotify. So get your Spotify go give us five stars click it click it and forget it. Forget batch forget I know you'll forget me Forget it. You will never forget us. Oh, well. Me just me alone we're mortal. We together are immortal true like our voices are out there forever. That's terrifying by the will be on Mars one day buried in the satellite.

Bobby:

Who is this Jim and Bob? Wow, there was a whole civilization It really sucked like Shannon Bobby were so funny. Why don't we listen to them? Like, you know, you were ahead of our time, and that's why we're extinct. Now. We're like Van Gogh. We were ahead of our time, and they'll appreciate us

Jim:

when we're gone. We're right in our time, but we may be good for another time. True. All right. Make sure you clean the planet. Enough with the inspirational quote, on Instagram, or discord. The next episode is right before our Vegas trip. So you guys better be there. Vegas trip six of the night. We're reminding you once again. Come on. Come on. Yeah, Justin just said he goes, Justin's gonna be there.

Bobby:

He just finally caught up though. He goes. Oh my god. You guys are going to Vegas? Yeah, yeah, this is to

Jim:

me. Let's hang out. Hang out. Also shout out to Brandon. I need Brandon Shouta Brandon and brain bridge. Brandon. Did you say Bainbridge? Isn't that what's called Bainbridge Island? Yeah, well in Seattle. Yeah, yeah, but Brandon, you have a place to sleep if you got a place in our heart you have a place to place our hole and make sure you wear those those hot little songs that you oh my god I honestly can't think about it right now and we got to end the show like I can't

Bobby:

Okay, so just follow us and like share us your friends and yada yada We hope you have a great week happy new year we'll see you on the new we'll see you in 2022 when we take over the world thank you because yeah, bye

Unknown:

girl girl Girl sweet Swan in town miles around we can smile and smile the Lord we need some yes in the fall old saying activist analysts I'm Miss Marquez I can make a Musicmaster drops I'm just a girl a lot of girls sweet smiles a smile beautiful smiles sound boys you're near me you need yes in the fall or opposite, sweetest jobs and town. Analysts can make a Texas farmer forget his head throw away for now